snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Supernatural S01 E22 – Big Bad O’Clock

by Kirsti August 20, 2014 Season 1
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We pick up where we left off, with the boys phoning Papa Winchester and Meg answering. She tells Dean he’ll never see his father again, and Dean hangs up. He starts grabbing his stuff and tells Sam they have to go because the demon knows they’ve got the Colt and now that it has Papa Winchester, it’ll come after them next. Sam’s all “GOOD. COME AT ME, BRO!”, but Dean insists that they’re leaving.

Cut to the Bromobile. Dean says that they need to work out where Papa Winchester’s being kept so they can trade him for the Colt. Sam suggests that Papa Winchester might be dead already, and Dean gets angry. Sam backs down and wants to know how they’ll find him. “We need help,” Dean replies, and the Bromobile bros on through the night.

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Charmed S01 E09 – Foreshadowing grandma

by Lorraine August 20, 2014 Charmed
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I took a few weeks off of Charmed during vacation and I feel like I’ve forgotten everything that’s happened. Something tells me that won’t matter.

Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. Some woo-woo music plays as two men unlock a door where a woman is being held. She (Melinda) asks why he (Matthew) betrayed her and he says she got what she deserved. Matthew pretended to love Melinda, took her powers and then turned her in to be burned at the stake. Melinda rips her locket off and throws it at Matthew, telling him to keep his trinkets. He chuckles and opens it for contrivance reasons. Inside is a petal that bursts into a small flame. Melinda recites a curse and steals back her power.

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Veronica Mars S02 E01 – Who does she think she is? A Laker girl?

by Sweeney August 19, 2014 Season 2
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We start at that restaurant where Carrie Bishop worked. Veronica is now the hostess, and she opens her monologue just shy of a title star: “Normal – that’s the watchword.” I’m feeling the generous glow of a new season and am willing to go ahead and give her that gold star anyway:

Lorraine: Does this extend into real life? Should people start asking favors of you while you bask in the new season glow? I’m asking for a friend.

Democracy Diva: Unrelated, but I am wary of a season that begins with our badass blonde heroine working in the food service industry. It did not go well for Buffy.

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Pretty Little Liars S03 E18 – Crazy eyes

by Lorraine August 19, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
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At Rosewood’s One Coffee Shop For Girls Who Need to Learn About Sleeping In, the girls are sitting on the couch that they seem to always commandeer as Aria tells them that Ezra sent an, “I’m here” text but otherwise, hasn’t communicated with her. I guess he’s too busy meeting his child to text his child-girlfriend. Spencer is still acting all shifty and excuses herself to get a coffee refill, leaving the rest of the Liars to discuss whether or not Detective Wilden has already read the Biology Cluebook, meaning he knows what they know. Which is what we know and translates to, “three seasons of very, very little.” Something like that.

Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I’ve learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they’ve already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a “new” thing, for which they can be paid again.

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The OC S01 E15 – Give that man a bagel.

by Anna May August 18, 2014 Season 1
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Friends, Snark Ladies, Traumateers, lend me your ears. Or failing that, a one-off spot on your blog. Hello, or something. (L: HI.)

We start episode fifteen with some slightly obnoxious-sounding early-noughties jingly rock-pop, in the kitchen of what is rapidly becoming the Cohen Family Rehabilitation Centre for Strays and Fuck-Ups (seriously, does this family have to fix everyone?) (L: Yes, because Plot. I’m waiting for an adorable dog to show up.) (S: THAT WOULD BE THE BEST.) Hailey is sitting at the table with her earbuds in, trying as hard as she can to look like a moody teenager, and Sandy walks in only to look like someone kicked his puppy when he sees she’s nicked his bagels.

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Dawson’s Creek S01 Wrap-Up

by Kirsti August 18, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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I feel a bit weird in celebrating the end of season 1, because it feels like we literally just started it and now it’s over. Still, at the very least we should celebrate getting past Joey’s awful rendition of On My Own, so let’s have a dance party!

Yeah yeah, I know that’s technically a spoiler because it’s from season 2. But I feel like that’s exactly how Dawson, Joey and Pacey would react to our celebratory dance, so it seemed appropriate to use it.

Democracy Diva: Totally appropriate. I approve.

K: ANYWAY. On with the rankings!

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The OC S01 E14 – The Countdown of Rich White Kid Problems

by Coyote Rose August 14, 2014 Season 1
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Previously: Seth introduced us to Christmakuh and them chose himself in the Summer vs. Anna showdown. – The Countdown Coyote Rose: So I vaguely remember watching the first three episodes of the OC when it first came out and that was a long time ago, so this might be an interesting experiment. These previously on credits are doing nothing for me other than reminding me how adorable Zoe Hart Rachel Bilson is. So the first thing I learn is Ryan is the sadist who makes his girlfriend watch a 3 hour period piece on ships. (L: Useful information. Homeboy likes broody things.) Then they talk about it being New Years Eve soon and poor little rich girl Marissa goes through the laundry […]

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Snark Squad Sentiments: Mockingjay’s Capitol Propaganda Posters

by DemocracyDiva August 11, 2014 Books
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A new Hunger Games movie is upon us (well, a few months away, anyway), and the geniuses behind The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 have released seven Panem propaganda posters entitled “District Heroes.” Each poster salutes a different district, as the Capitol implores its citizens to “love your labor” and, you know, generally stop supporting Katniss-inspired rebellions, I guess.

But since Snark Ladies know more about Panem than your average Lionsgate marketing genius, we thought it would be fun to tear these posters apart! Some are brilliant, others are bit off the mark, and the rest don’t make any fucking sense at all. I will dole out Propaganda Points for how effective the poster would be at convincing the district citizens to support the Capitol, and Bullshit Ratings for how accurately it depicts life in that district (at least from the Capitol’s point of view). Let the propaganda party begin!

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Dawson’s Creek S01 E13 – Leave the forehead.

by DemocracyDiva August 11, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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Shrine O’Spielberg. Joey is climbing in the window, as per their usual movie-watching routine, but Dawson didn’t expect her to show up after their awkward post-beauty-pageant encounter. He didn’t even rent any movies! For shame. Now that she knows Dawson’s being weird about this, she decides to also be weird, saying that she came by to say she … can’t come by. Then she word-vomits about how the television metaphor for their relationship is getting old, and every night they just do the same old things in Dawson’s “Spielberg-ized bedroom.” Dawson broods in response, and turns on the television. Joey rants about cliffhangers and how manipulative they are; Dawson thinks they keep people guessing, but Joey says they’re just proof that nothing ever really changes.

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Dawson’s Creek S01 E12 – Pretty Woman Lite

by Kirsti August 8, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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It’s finally here!! The episode that every Dawson’s Creek viewer – casual or devoted – remembers from season 1. NGL, I *may* have bribed Diva to let me do the first recap solely so that this episode fell to me…

Democracy Diva: And I may have agreed begrudgingly because THIS EPISODE, YOU GUYS. IT IS THE BEST/WORST/EVERYTHING-EST.

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The OC S01 E12 – And Now, A Public Service Announcement

by Melodie Mason August 8, 2014 Season 1
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I preface this with this bit of knowledge: I have never watched the OC. All I know about it is that they are in the “OC” which I think is in California somewhere, I want to say Orange County? Which I think is Los Angeles…ish? Look at me figuring things out all by myself! I’m sure I can figure out this teen-angst-plot-drama-rama with just one episode!

This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn’t a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.

Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music.  (L: “A long time ago, we used to be friends…)

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Veronica Mars S01 Wrap-Up Post

by Sweeney August 6, 2014 Season 1
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WE DID IT! We’re here! Dance party time!

OK, so, we often begin rankings with a discussion of how bad we are at ranking things, but seriously, seriously, this is the hardest ranking I’ve ever had to do. I love all 22 of these episodes. I’d watch any of them in a heartbeat and they are all near and dear to my heart. Both of the non-Snows began this project by discussing how we count this as one of the best seasons of TV ever (it’s part of our description for the show!) and that opinion holds. Whatever new flaws I may have picked up on this rewatch, I will forever love this show and Veronica and, especially, this season.

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Dawson’s Creek S01 E11 – Stranger danger

by DemocracyDiva August 5, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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Shrine O’Spielberg Horror Movie Marathon. Dawson and Joey are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer (except I totally thought that it was Scream until Kirsti corrected me, because all these movies are the same) and it’s the scene with Sarah Michelle Gellar, so I’m counting this as Buffy crossover magic.

Kirsti: Totally counts. Except that Buffy would never run away screaming.

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The OC S01 E11 – Terrible Plans 101

by Sweeney August 4, 2014 Season 1
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Seth is pleading with Kirsten to put the recipe books away. She’s desperate to treat Ryan to a proper family Thanksgiving, but Seth is convinced that Kirsten’s cooking will destroy a holiday that he waits for all year. Even Eyebrows has to note that she’s not inspiring a lot of confidence when she doesn’t even know where the pans are in the kitchen.

More awkwardness ensues when she tries to ascertain what to do with the turkey. Were people not widely aware of the power of Googling yet in 2003? Google could answer your questions, Kirsten. (L: Complete with instructional Youtube video! …were people Youtubing in 2003?) (S: Sadly, no, that didn’t start until 2005.) Seth and Sandy both jump in to volunteer to do stuff, leaving Kirsten with the useful task of answering the phone.

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The More You Know July 2014 – Life faces of the Internet

by Lorraine August 1, 2014 Sentiments
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Dearest Traumateers, I am writing this recap from Paris! And sure, I like announcing that I’m in Paris as much as possible, but also, it’s kind of relevant because this is where we tell you what we’ve been up to.

Sweeney was traveling a ton in July (check out her videos about it here and here) and I met her a week ago in Paris. Since then, we’ve been waking up late, eating lots of bread and pastries, discussing the merits of goat cheese, almost dying on the Eiffel Tower (me), working some (Sweeney),  talking a lot about Snark Squad (we can’t help it) and meeting a group of wonderfulamazing Traumateers!

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