snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Doctor Who S04 E08 – Actual spoilers.

by Kirsti May 25, 2016 Doctor Who
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Unsurprisingly, this episode which features archaeologists and libraries, is one of my favourites. Because it’s freaking amazing.

Marines: I’m with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we’re already squeeing and the episode hasn’t started yet. I’M SO EXCITED.

K: Close your eyes, and tell me what you see,” says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she’s in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It’s Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)

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Grey Chapter 24 – Maybe we’ll make it to IHOP again.

by Marines May 24, 2016 Books
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Look, there’s two more “chapters” left in this book, but one is two pages long and I’m just going to finally put this whole thing out of it’s misery. So, hooray, welcome to the last Grey recap! (A: For real , this time!)(J: Huzzah!)

Grey is having a nightmare of finding his mother dead. I think we’ve read about his having this nightmare before so it doesn’t even seem very evil to be like, “moving right along” about it.

Alex: The nightmare ends with Baby Grey saying ‘I have no words’. That’s basically been me for the past five or six recaps.

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Game of Thrones S06 E04 – A literal explosion of girl power.

by Marines May 21, 2016 Game of Thrones
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We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one “remember them??” character per episode.

Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion. 

Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn’t know what anyone was doing.

The credits take us to King’s Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.

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Supernatural S05 E19 – Those beautiful wings.

by Samantha May 18, 2016 Season 5
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This episode, a random favorite of mine, opens at a run down vacant motel in Indiana. A sheriff looking fella walks inside and starts looking around. We see that the name of the hotel is the Elysium Fields and the Greek Mythology nerd inside of me has a field (har har) day. We also see a flower pot bloom into life. The flowers look vaguely lotus-y if you put your imagination to it. There’s lots of noises and camera angles to indicate that this motel is not quite as abandoned as it appears. Sure enough, the sheriff guy turns around to find an immaculate looking bellhop standing there. He tries to tell the bellhop that he isn’t allowed to be here, but Bellhop just rambles about how he has to get everything ready because they are all coming. He then tells the sherif cop guy that he’s dinner and murders the fuck out of him.

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Game of Thrones S03 E03 – Big mistake. HUGE.

by Catherine May 17, 2016 Game of Thrones
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The previouslies for this episode take us way back to last season when that one prostitute killed that Unsullied dude, Sam and Gilly left, and Sansa learned all about Lyanna Stark. Also, other stuff that happened last episode, I think. I’m not sure. It’s been 6 seasons, and it’s all really starting to blend together.

Anyway! The credits that I’ve never had to pay this close of attention to before take us to King’s Landing, Pyke, Poor Winterfaux with it’s little flayed man symbol, The Wall and across the narrow sea to Dothraki territory and Meereen.

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Grey Chapter 23 – Sorry, Mari

by Alex May 10, 2016 Books
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Well, this is awkward. I’m currently feeling a little like the Grinch who stole Christmas, because just last week Mari sent me an excited email about how she’d finished writing the last Grey recap…

…and then I had to go and ruin it by pointing out that she’d missed out a whole chapter.

Sorry, Mari!

Marines: I Tweeted about being done and everything! Being suddenly not done was truly was the most depressing thing that has happened to me in a long, long while. IN MY DEFENSE, each of these chapters start with a dream and end with a brood so while I checked to make sure I was on the right chapter I WAS DUPED.

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Game of Thrones S06 E02 – Jesus Jon Superstar

by DemocracyDiva May 5, 2016 Game of Thrones
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The previouslies are a warning to the audience: you definitely don’t remember any of this stuff. Theon’s dad and sister! Lord Karstark getting beheaded by a still-alive Robb! Bran knows a really smart bird!

Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.

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Doctor Who S04 E07 – Cluedo!

by Marines May 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS lands in front of a manor and the Doctor can smell grass, lemonade and a little bit of mint in the air. It must be the 1920s. Donna disbelievingly asks if he can really tell what year it is by the smell. The Doctor confirms, but Donna’s on to his games.

Kirsti: I love the look on his face in the last gif. Equal parts pride and “oh, someone finally twigged…”

Mari: Some swing jazzy music starts. The man driving the vintage car (Professor Peach) is greeted by the manor staff. A reverend bikes up to the manor as well and he exchanges pleasantries with Professor Peach. The Reverend goes ahead inside because Professor Peach needs to check on something before the party… alone.

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Supernatural S05 E18 – Family feels and queerbaiting

by Kirsti April 30, 2016 Season 5
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Is anyone else going to spend the rest of the recap singing Phantom of the Opera, thanks to this episode title? No? Bueller? Okay, fine. I’ll actually recap this thing.

Samantha: Unfortunately, Phantom is one of the musicals I don’t know by heart yet, but I am going to kick things off with this gif in celebration of the 100th episode!

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Supergirl S01 E13 – Tentacle Cupcakes

by Catherine April 29, 2016 Season 1
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Okay so we’re wayyyyyy behind on these recaps and it’s 1000 percent my fault. My bffs are gonna come in here now and insist that they had a hand in stalling. (M: I had a hand in stalling!) (S: Me too!) (C: Don’t listen! It was all me because busy and also blah.)

Luckily, there’s a previously to remind us what happened. Winn kissed Kara, Kara’s parents died, aliens attacked Maxwell Carlisle’s adult video store and comic book emporium. (S: Lolol.)

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Game of Thrones S06 E01 – It’s tradition.

by Marines April 28, 2016 Game of Thrones
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After approximately 2 weeks worth of continuous previouslies, we go to the credits: King’s Landing, Bolton Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen and Dorne.

Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that’s the only thing we’re ever gonna call it, I guess.)

Mari: We’re starting this season with the exact right expectations.

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Supernatural S05 E17 – The Kool-Aid can’t be far off.

by Kirsti April 27, 2016 Season 5
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The previouslies show us Lisa, from season 3, who has a son named Ben. It was the episode with the creepy ass children.

Kirsti: I’m sorry, you’ll have to be more specific. There are at least 2 episodes a season with creepy children…

Samantha: This segues us into the Impala burning rubber down a highway at night. Sam’s arm is injured and they are both a little frantic. They mention how they’ve never seen that many in one place before, just as the Impala screeches to a halt in front of a flaming barricade in the road.

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Grey Chapter 22 – Full stalker mode

by Jessica April 26, 2016 Books
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Grey hasn’t gone to bed yet, but since we’ve passed midnight it’s the next chapter. He broods at his piano instead. He’s mad because Ana said she would try to change for him, but in the end she didn’t. In fact, he tells himself that she “fell at the first hurdle.” Grey, I think last night was leagues away from the first hurdle. Way after the selling-your-car and stalking-your-life hurdles.

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Charmed S03 E01 – Charmednesia is real

by Stephanie April 13, 2016 Charmed

Season 3 opens with a bang. Just kidding, we’re at the Halliwell Manor as usual. Prue is in the attic, flipping through the Book of Shadows while we get some weird shots of creepy dolls and a teddy bear. I’m 3 seconds into the episode, and I’m already confused. This is going to be a great season, I can tell.

A cuckoo clock goes off and scares Prue and then Phoebe comes in and that scares her too, so much so, she magics Phoebe into some attic junk. Phoebe’s hair is now blondish, and I am not a fan. (M: Me neither. I’m sorry I complained about your old hair! Not really, but bring it back.)

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New Moon Epilogue – This is not an epilogue.

by Marines April 11, 2016 Books
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We made it!

Yeah, we fell pretty off pace there toward the end. I feel like we were way more prepared the first time around, probably because we were bright eyed and bushy tailed, even if we expected the books to be bad.

Annie: And because it had been so long since we’d read these books, we’d forgotten how absolutely awful they were! Like, really, really awful. Way, way worse than I’d remembered.

Catherine: Reliving it ten years later is somehow way worse, guys. 

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