snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Doctor Who S02 E09 – The devil you meet.

by Marines April 17, 2015 Doctor Who
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We had such a lovely time last episode, I’m feeling all giddy about this recap! Shoutout to the, um, science side of that recap (basically Mairead…) for the insight into black holes. (K: SERIOUSLY. I may be shitty at replying to comments, but those comments were the freaking bomb.) Now, let’s all watch as the show ignores all that science and gets to the FEELS shall we?

Oh, we cut from really extensive previouslies to the credits:

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Supernatural S03 E13 – Andrew did it better

by Kirsti April 15, 2015 Season 3
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We open on two nerdy guys sitting in armchairs, and talking directly to the camera. Kind of like Andrew did in Storyteller, except without the word “vampyres.” (M: That basically changes everything.) (K: TRUE.) It’s Ed and Harry from season 1’s Hell House. They talk about how this is an unsolicited pilot intended for the hands of a network executive who’s been struck by the writer’s strike and is looking for alternative content.

Aaaah, yes. The writer’s strike of 2008. That was a dark time. At least it gave us Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog?

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Charmed S02 E11 – Three witches and a baby

by Marines April 14, 2015 Charmed
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So, I watched this episode like two weeks ago and then promptly laughed at Stephanie because she had the baby episode of Charmed. Shortly after that she was all, “I’m sooooo busy. Maybe you should take the next episode.”

That’s not exactly what happened but it doesn’t matter because: baby episode.

Stephanie: Baby episodes are the worst, but I’m sure there’s another episode riddled with dumb gender stereotypes waiting for me and the balance will be restored. Then again, I already covered the episode where Prue became a Bro.

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Segue Magic: Resurrection Stories

by Marines April 13, 2015 Segue Magic
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Hello friends! So, a couple of things happened recently:

– Easter!

– We opened Segue Magic up into a link-up style prompt for those who would be interested in responding to our prompts! Here’s how it’s going to work:

1. We will announce the month’s topics here on this website and also over on the Goodreads group we created. And probably also on Tumblr. We want everyone to do these so we’ll just about post them everywhere. Follow along in your preferred method!

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E01 – Extra-deranged.

by Marines April 9, 2015 Pretty Little Liars
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The happiest two seconds of the entire series happen when an EMT says Ezra’s pulse is getting weaker. The only one who is sad about this is Aria. Her friends hold her back and tell her she shouldn’t go with Ezra to the hospital because then the pesky cops will start asking her questions. Apparently, no one from the NYPD notices Aria hyperventilating after Ezra; they are busy questioning Noel Khan. Alison is on a fire escape, watching the ambulance ride by. A is– TRUE STORY– riding on the top of the ambulance like some kind of extra-deranged Spider-Man. I hate this show.

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Doctor Who S02 E08 – Hellmouth 2.0

by Kirsti April 8, 2015 Doctor Who

The TARDIS vworp vworps its way into a spaceship-y looking storage room. It sounds decidedly unwell. The Doctor and Rose walk out the door, and he makes worried sounds while stroking the TARDIS. Rose says if he’s worried, they can leave and go somewhere else, and they both fall about laughing.

Marines: Those crazy kids and their lack of self-preservation! But seriously, watching them laugh in those last two gifs is everything.

K: LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

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Supernatural S03 E12 – Busted

by Kirsti April 8, 2015 Season 3
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First things first: this episode is a bitch and a half to find gifs for on account of the Jus in Bello convention. So I’m sorry about any giant slabs of text…

Monument, Colorado. The boys break into an incredibly white hotel room and search it. Apparently it’s Bela’s room and they’re looking for the Colt. Suddenly the phone rings. After staring at it awkwardly for a minute, Dean answers. It’s Bela, who informs him that she’s two states away already. He demands the Colt back, and she’s all “LOL NOPE”. He murder-nounces that he’s going to find her because he has nothing better to do with his life, and she informs him that he’s about to get suuuuuuper busy on account of she gave the cops a tip off. The door bursts open, the cops appear, and the boys are arrested.

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The OC S03 E04 – I Hear Poor People Theme Bad

by Katie April 6, 2015 Season 3
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I wanted to start off this recap by reminding readers, or telling those new to The O.C., that you have to look at Season 3 as the darkness before the dawn. Hang in there, because Season 4 is going to be SO much better. Too bad Season 3 scared away all the viewers and the show got canceled after the fourth season.

The core four drive up to Newport Union High School. Seth exposits that this is Newport’s answer to public education. Marissa, you see, having been kicked out of Harbor and left penniless by Caleb’s death, is now forced to endure the indignity of PUBLIC school.

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The OC S03 E03 – The Eyebrows Can Only Take So Much

by Katie April 2, 2015 Season 3
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The Core Four are sitting in the diner, with Summer lamenting Ryan and Marissa’s expulsions from Harbor. Ryan and Marissa try to tell her it won’t be that bad, but Summer says it will be for Seth, seeing how before Ryan, he was bullied by people who called him “Death Breath Seth,” and Marissa’s like, uh, YOU called him that. Summer ignores that and says this was supposed to be the best year ever. All Ryan and Marissa want is to go back to school, but Summer tells them it’ll be okay as long as they stick together.

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Doctor Who S02 E07 – Armed and clever.

by Marines April 2, 2015 Doctor Who
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Rain, thunder, lightening. Somewhere, a guy sits inside a shop, pouring over a book. A TV program is playing in the background. The announcer signs off just as the guy realizes he’s overdrawn and needs a money miracle. Watching TV while also maybe thinking about needing money miracles? MY LIFE. But with less “God Save the Queen” playing in the background.

Kirsti: I had a total “IT’S THAT GUY FROM THAT THING!!” moment when he came on screen, but wasn’t sure what that thing was. According to IMDB, it’s our old friend Britain Only Has Ten Actors, because he’s been in Hot Fuzz, Little Dorrit, and Chocolat.

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Supernatural S03 E11 – Tuesdays are the worst.

by Kirsti April 1, 2015 Season 3
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First things first: I have an irrational love for this episode. It manages to be feelsy and really freaking dark and hilarious simultaneously, and it’s just kind of great.

Right, on with the show. We open with a super close up of Sam’s closed eyes. Heat of the Moment by Asia starts playing, and he sits bolt upright in bed at the Motel of the Week. Dean, already dressed, tells Sam that it’s “time to rise and shine, Sammy!” This gives me horrible flashbacks to my teen years when my mother would burst into my room at like 9am on a Saturday and holler “Time for getting up now!” (M: My mom’s Saturday wake-up was the dreaded, “time to clean!” -_-)

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Doctor Who S02 E06 – Cyberman rave parties

by Kirsti March 28, 2015 Doctor Who
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After the previouslies, we go straight to the credits, because why the fuck not. DOO WEE OOH.

After the credits, the Doctor aims a mystery thing at the Cybermen, and a beam of orange light bursts out. It hits one Cyberman and spreads to the others, kind of like how the Nazis die in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The Cybermen crumble to ash and everyone makes a run for it.

I cannot stop laughing over that gif. Conveniently, Driver pulls up in the blue van and everyone piles in. Except for A Pete, who makes a run for the house to rescue A Jackie.

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Pretty Little Liars S04 E24 – Non-reveals

by Marines March 27, 2015 Pretty Little Liars
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Apartment somewhere. The Liars are impatiently waiting on something. Behind them, Noel Kahn says he’ll be right back. Apparently, he’s the “what are you doing here? DRAMATIC CUT TO BLACK” from last episode. (J: terrible pay off.) When he leaves, the Liars wonder at the smartness of following Noel Kahn and further wonder why Alison would trust him. They don’t hear the Foley guys given them an extra loud door opening sound, so they all jump up when Alison answers, “because he has secrets too.”

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E11 – We created canon!

by Kirsti March 26, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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We open at Capeside High. Dawson gushes to Joey about a particular type of camera and how it’s a million times better than shooting video and blah blah, I honestly don’t give a fuck about anything this dude has to say. They head to the film classroom to get the camera, and Kendra’s there fiddling with it. She and Joey exchange some polite small talk, then Dawson tells her to hand over the camera. She’s all “LOL NOPE” because she just checked it out for the next month. He gapes like a goldfish and Kendra says that she cleared it with the film teacher. Dawson wants to know when he’ll get the camera, and she tells him that film making is an art that can’t be rushed.

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Supernatural S03 E10 – Dream catch me

by Kirsti March 25, 2015 Season 3
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Bobby walks through his house with a flashlight in hand. He hears a noise and turns, but there’s nothing there. He heads into the kitchen and looks around, but it’s empty. Suddenly, a woman screams and attacks him. He falls to the floor, and she shakes him back and forth. The screen flashes white a few times and we cut to Bobby asleep in a motel bed. It’s daylight. A maid enters, and apologises when she sees him. She pulls the keys from the door, and they jangle. But Bobby doesn’t budge. She looks concerned and walks over to him. She shakes his shoulder a little, and he still doesn’t move. We cut back to the screaming woman in the kitchen and Bobby trying to fend off her blows.

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