snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Supernatural S04 E03 – Let’s do the time warp again

by Kirsti May 24, 2015 Season 4
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Sam watches his brother sleep in the Motel of the Week, then sneaks out the door. Outside, Ruby 2.0 picks him up and they speed off into the night. Back in the motel room, Dean has nightmares about being in Hell, and wakes to find Castiel sitting on the bed.

Marines: Castiel, friend. We’re not fond of characters who watch people sleep around here. Just FYI.

K: Truth.

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Doctor Who S02 Wrap-Up

by Marines May 23, 2015 Doctor Who

I’ve got to say that the most surprising thing about Series 2 was how very little of it I remembered. Sometimes I caught myself asking myself, “did I watch this? Did I skip this? How did I erase this completely from my mind?” I don’t have the answers for any of those questions, but those impressions speak greatly to the experience of series 2, for me at least.

There were a ton of episodes that felt weak, but it’s a season that is punctuated by lovely character moments, especially if you are invested in the relationship between Rose and the Doctor.

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The OC S03 E08 – College or bust.

by Ginny May 22, 2015 Season 3
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he gang is getting ready to fill out college applications you guys! They’re growing up right before our eyes despite already having gone through most college like experiences in high school.

Mari: And already looking like 20 year olds! But, okay, college time.

Ginny: Summer of course picks the school catalog where the two girls on the cover “look happy”. Marissa seems a little down and Seth attempts to cheer everyone up by reminding everyone that hey at least they will all be getting out of Newport and maybe they’ll even experience seasons! I mean having parties and money and good weather all time is rough guys. Seasons are not as fun as you’d think Seth.

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Game of Thrones S05 E03 – More than just the tip.

by Sweeney May 21, 2015 Game of Thrones
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Lying Liar Credits take us through King’s Landing, Moat Cailin, Winterfell, The Wall, Braavos, and Meereen. This is my obligatory seasonal acknowledgement that there’s probably not a lot of lying going on here, but that I will never really trust again, even though I no longer even remember the origins of my bad blood with the Lying Liar Credits.

Democracy Diva: We are as stubborn a group of grudge-holders as the old Houses of Westeros. Our rivalries are so old, we don’t even know why or how they started, BUT WE’RE STILL PISSED.

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Supernatural S04 E02 – Touched by an angel

by Kirsti May 20, 2015 Season 4
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A woman sleeps on her sofa. The TV turns to static in the background and the lights flicker. She wakes when the phone rings, and sits up with a jolt, her breath fogging the air. She rushes to her closet, and shoves the clothes aside to reveal a typical hunter’s arsenal. She flicks on an EMF meter, and it goes crazy. Meanwhile, Bobby leaves a message saying he could use her help on something big. She loads a shotgun and stalks through her apartment.

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Doctor Who S02 E13 – Tears Day

by Marines May 20, 2015 Doctor Who
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Granted, this rating is happening from fuzzy memory, but I feel good about giving it anyway:

Kirsti: Good call, friend. Good call.

Mari: I told this story in a vlog recently, but I watched this episode for the first time the same weekend I saw The Body for the first time. It was emotionally taxing, to say the least.

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E03 – In which everyone talks like a murderer

by Jessica May 19, 2015 Pretty Little Liars
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Ali is lying on her bed while voiceovers of the Liars ask if she’s ok. Light and shadows play over her face as we assume the days pass. I know Ali can be a manipulative bitch and all, but I can’t begin to imagine the trauma of nearly being murdered, buried alive, on the run for three years and then come back to find your mom murdered. Damn.

Mr. DiLaurentis and Jason join in the voiceovers, rudely telling the Liars to get out.

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Segue Magic: The Snark Tag

by Marines May 18, 2015 Segue Magic
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I’ve recently started way upping my vlogging game, mostly on Booktube and doing book reviews and such. And tags. Not a lot of tags, but still. I’ve done a few tags and it got me thinking that I could make up a Snark Squad themed one! So I did and I based them on the tags tags we use most frequently on the website. The questions and videos for last week are below.

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#snarkathon – Spiceworld

by DemocracyDiva May 17, 2015 Movies
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I was nine years old in 1997, when Spiceworld marched into theaters with the ferocity and panache of Posh Spice at choreography boot camp. For those who were not a child, tween, or teen in the late 90s, you may not be able to understand why this movie even exists. But insane as it is, I promise you, there was a market for this insanity, and I was IT. I know every word to every song in this “film” (ironic quotations marks required), and to me, it is prime snarking fodder. Let us begin!

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Supernatural S04 E01 – Good omens

by Kirsti May 16, 2015 Season 4
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Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.

We start with flashing close-ups of Dean’s panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It’s kind of like when you’re playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up… (M: I don’t really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he’s in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it’s not a real coffin, it’s made out of crappy bits of 2×4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.

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Doctor Who S02 E12 – Guess who’s back?

by Kirsti May 16, 2015 Doctor Who
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We open in space, looking down at the earth. Rose voiceovers that this is where she was born and where she died. We zoom in on London and watch Past!Rose going through her boring daily life as she voiceovers about how nothing happened in her life before she met the Doctor. We get a shot of the first time she met Nine, and I’m pretty sure I can hear Mari’s “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!” feels from here.

Marines: Pretty sure? Girl, that was definitely me.

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Gotham S01 E22 – 0% sense

by Marines May 14, 2015 Gotham
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WE MADE IT. Dear God we made it.

More feelings soon, recap first: we start with Selina actually outside, without a home, probably because it will be plot convenient shortly. She’s warming her hands by a trash can fire when she spots across the Gotham river (sea? lake? IDK.) Fish standing at the front of a boat. IDK how the boat got involved after the helicopter, but OKAY. She looks like the Reaper because she’s coming to bring death! But no worries for us because it’s probably only to her one season long contract. #nonspoileryspoilers

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Game of Thrones S05 E02 – Axe murderer of dreams

by Marines May 13, 2015 Game of Thrones
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After an intense amount of previouslies, the lying liar credits take us to King’s Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfell Now With Added Bolton, The Wall, Braavos, and Meereen.

For every single person who shouted, “WHERE IS ARYA??” last episode, we start with Arya. (S: “SHIT, WE HEAR YOU,” the show said.) She’s still on that boat, but now approaching her destination: Braavos. She’s eying the Titan of Braavos kind of suspiciously, which is rather fair when you consider that you have to sail under its crotch. Ternesio Terys (totally looked that name up)(he’s the guy that agreed to sail Arya to Braavos)

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The OC S03 E07 – This is so stupid.

by Amanda Osborn May 12, 2015 Season 3
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Last time I watched The OC, the gang was celebrating Chrismukkah and I revealed my snow elitism roots. (M: Good times.) I haven’t seen any of season three, so this should be interesting…

The episode begins with the foursome eating at a diner. The boys decide that the girls should pick the movie (could I love these boys anymore??), which leads to Summer and Marissa riffing “Bring It On.”

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Segue Magic: Best Fictional Moms

by Marines May 11, 2015 Segue Magic
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Happy (belated) Mother’s Day, Traumateers.

We celebrated by being super proud of ourselves for actually being timely with one of these topics:

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