snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Gotham S01 E05 – This show thinks you’re stupid.

by Marines October 23, 2014 Gotham
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The general consensus around #gothamsnark this week seemed to be, “ugh, I have to watch Gotham now.” Let me just add, “UGH. I HAVE TO RECAP GOTHAM NOW.” More importantly, though, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING STILL.

Here’s to you:

Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.

Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone’s commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!

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The OC S02 E07 – The Ties that B(l)ind

by Ifeoluwa October 23, 2014 Season 2

A little backstory, I grew up watching a ton of high school dramas: Saved by the Bell, California Dreams, The OC, and the more recent Gossip Girl. I spent my formative years in Nigeria and everything I knew about the American Education system, I learned from these shows, all of the Bring it On movies and the numerous college drama themed movies I cannot remember. Imagine my surprise and indignation when I came over to the States for college and it was nothing like Hollywood portrayed. College wasn’t an endless party filled with cute, flirty boys, I never became best friends with my roommate, and everything I had been lead to believe was a damn lie!

To be fair, I attended a small liberal arts college that also happens to be the first of the Seven Sisters, and one of the few women’s colleges still in existence. Had I really wanted an All American College Experience TM, I probably should have gone anywhere but there.

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Dawson’s Creek S02 E18 – And then she dies.

by DemocracyDiva October 23, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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Shrine O’Spielberg. We immediately know Dawson is depressed/lonely because he’s hanging out with his mom. They’re watching his movie, and we still have only seen the Rachel Leigh Cook-as-Joey rows-on-the-creek part of the film. I would not be surprised if that were the entire movie. Anyway, Gail raves about how moving and beautiful it is.

Kirsti: She insists she’s not saying any of this because she’s his mother, but she totally is.

Diva: For sure. Dawson says he had a clear vision, but he couldn’t bring it to life on film. (I personally don’t think that’s his problem. I think it’s his vision that probably sucked.)

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Doctor Who S01 E05 – Low achievement bars

by Kirsti October 22, 2014 Doctor Who
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We pick up exactly where we left off. The Doctor fights off the electricity and gathers it into a ball in one hand. “Deadly to humans, maybe!” he says, and shoves the electricity ball into the Slitheen’s chest. It and MP Sugar writhe in pain.

DOOO WEEE OOOOH!

After the credits, we see that the Slitheen in the Cabinet Room and the one in Jackie’s flat are both writhing in electricity covered pain too.

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Supernatural S02 E15 – Dickheads beware

by Kirsti October 22, 2014 Season 2
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Okay, y’all. This is one of my favourite episodes ever, because of reasons. So I’ve been excited for, like, EVER about recapping this one. Let’s get to it. A middle-aged professor type heads up the steps of a college building after dark, then stops when he sees a pretty young thing (who looks weirdly like a brunette Reese Witherspoon) in a sundress fixing her shoe. I’m going to go ahead and award him a “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS” because he’s in an overcoat and scarf, and doesn’t think her lack of coat is at all suspect. Anyway, Brunette Witherspoon flirts a little as she says that she’s in one of his classes and he invites her up to his office. There’s some more flirting, a little making out, and then her face turns all grey and rotten. “What’s the matter? Don’t you like me any more?” she says sadly. Downstairs, a janitor locks the front of the building and heads down the stairs. There’s a crunch behind him and he turns to see Creeper Professor, face first in the concrete.

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Snark Squad Sentiments: On Getting It Wrong

by Sweeney October 21, 2014 Sentiments
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Somewhere along the line, this blog transitioned from, “LOL, kids books are ridiculous when read as adults!” to, “Wow, there is a lot of dangerous, problematic messaging in our favorite media.” It didn’t happen on purpose and it didn’t happen over night, but it definitely happened. Just as the blog has changed, it has also changed us in the process.

Marines: I don’t think I’m ever approaching the material we cover with the mind-set, “let’s find all the ways this is wrong.” To be sure, our primary goal has always been about finding humor in the way we discuss the media we chose, and letting that be the common ground between us all as consumers. Things did change, though, as we found ourselves unable to look past problems without calling them out.

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Pretty Little Liars S04 E09 – Christian Grey Lunch Dates

by Sweeney October 21, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
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Mona, in her quest to make amends for her history of stalking and life-ruining, is in her interrogation, confessing to Wilden’s murder. She says that she had known about Wilden’s murder of Garrett, a fact that she claims she was trying to use to blackmail him into leaving our Pretty Little Liars out of his Ali-vestigation. Wilden got violent once he know that Mona knew about his murdering Garrett. When asked why she’s confessing when she could have gotten away with it, Mona cries and says she couldn’t let her best friend’s mother go down for a murder she didn’t commit.

Marines: As soon as the detective leaves, she stops crying and puts on a, “mwahahaha” face. I hope this isn’t being recorded.

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Dollhouse S01 E05 – Well Deserved Face Punches

by Stephanie October 21, 2014 Dollhouse
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First I need to share that when I realized I would have to recap this episode, I yelled out, “NO!” That should be enough to let you know how I feel about it.

Lorraine: A common Snark Lady problem. In fact, Kirsti was known to work out who would get what episode during entire seasons of Buffy. That moment of realization that an episode is yours is best drowned in Goblets of Win.

Sweeney: Not knowing what trauma lies ahead is one of the occasional perks of Snow Life.

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The OC S02 E06 – Snow Elitism

by Amanda Osborn October 20, 2014 Season 2
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Before we get into this recap, a little bit of context about my history with The OC. I watched seasons one and two when it aired on TV and actually own season one on DVD. I happen to think that season one is one of the greatest seasons of TV ever, and it definitely was my very favorite season of TV as a teenager. However, I haven’t seen season two since it aired. In my mind, The OC ended during the season one finale.

So! With that, let’s get into “The Chrismukkah that Almost Wasn’t.” (Full disclosure: I asked to recap this episode because Chrismukkah is one of the first things that come to mind when I think of Seth Cohen/The OC.) (S: And this is a great episode for any Seth Cohen Chrismukkah fan.)

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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E04 – Who throws a shoe?

by DemocracyDiva October 19, 2014 How to Get Away With Murder
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We begin, again, on Murder Night. At 12 Grimmauld Place, we rehash the Michaela is beyond terrified/Connor is verbally abusive and manic/Laurel is trying to stay calm and be helpful/Wes is snuggling Rebecca dynamic. Wes says he needs to get Rebecca out of here while the rest of them go to the woods, since she of all people can’t be found there.

Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.

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Doctor Who S01 E04 – Gas exchange

by Marines October 18, 2014 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS appears in front of Rose’s less than fancy looking apartment complex. (K: For the Americans among us, allow me to teach you about council estates, otherwise known as “where Rose Tyler lives.”) Rose and the Doctor get out and her first question is how long she’s been gone. Only about 12 hours. Rose laughs and promises not to take long, as she just wants to check on her mother. She tells the Doctor not to disappear on her. He gives her a cute little smile in return.

Cute in a, “yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” way.

Sweeney: I mentioned this last time, but to reiterate: while I’m still not really enjoying this show, these bits are cute.

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Supernatural S02 E14 – Embrace your feminine side

by Kirsti October 18, 2014 Season 2
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Dean stands next to the Bromobile by an underpass and phones Ellen in a panic. Sam’s been missing for days, there’s no sign of him, and Dean’s freaking the fuck out because it’s like Papa Winchester all over again. Ellen hasn’t heard anything. Dean’s phone beeps and he looks at the screen to see an incoming call from Sam. He answers, then tells Sam to calm down because he’s on his way.

Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam’s room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam’s shirt, but Sam assures him it’s not his.

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Veronica Mars S02 E16 – Town of Indeterminate Size

by Sweeney October 17, 2014 Season 2
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he previouslies are loaded with Troy flashbacks, so, you know, that’s a thing to prepare for. I have the vague feeling that I don’t like this episode, but it wins a lot of points for continuity porn, which this show is full of and generally does quite well. Bringing back a character we haven’t seen in 30 episodes is neat because it’s a show’s way of saying, “Yes, we know that when characters leave our immediate scope, they continue existing and being people!”

Marines: “And we realize that real people often have multiple interactions with more than 5 people.” Good job, show. You are right.

Democracy Diva: For the resident Snow, these callbacks are often confusing, but even I remembered Troy as… uh… someone Veronica dated who did something fucked up to her? Right? Maybe? It’s been a LONG TIME since Season 1, you guys. I know I’m supposed to hate him, I just don’t totally remember why.

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Dollhouse S01 E04 – Blue skies and snowy mountains

by Marines October 17, 2014 Dollhouse
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Mountains Somewhere. We hear a woman moaning and I’m pretty sure it’s done specifically in a way so the first thing you think is, “sexy time.” But no. Some woman is giving birth and now I just feel all awkward. (S: Best PSA ever! YOU THINK SEXY TIME FEELS GOOD, KIDS? WELL THIS IS WHERE IT LEADS.) Echo is the midwife and WHY? WHY WOULD ECHO BE THE MIDWIFE? Are these parents on the run from the law? Is that baby the second coming of some deity? Did part of the job include scaling the mountain before assuming midwiferly duties? NO? No need for a doll to be the midwife.

Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.

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The OC S02 E05 – The questionable taste of our youth

by DemocracyDiva October 16, 2014 Season 2
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We begin with a Ryan and Seth walk-and-talk at school. Seth helpfully recaps the events of the last episode – namely, that Alex (or in my head, Punk!Olivia Wilde) kissed him and Ryan talked to Lindsay all night long at a bus stop. Ryan wants to take things slow, but Seth suggests that he invite Lindsay to another effing dance – the titular SnO.C.

Ryan is doubtful and kind of nervous and it’s actually super endearing. He reminds Seth that bad things always happen at these parties, which is absolutely true, but Seth assures him it’ll be fine. I think. It’s hard to tell, because Seth has so many marbles in his mouth I’m not really sure what he’s saying. I don’t remember this ever bothering me during my Seth-Cohen-obsessed youth. Maybe I’m just getting old.

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