Buffy the Vampire Slayer S02 E17 – Human fatality.

Previously: Xander can’t even fall in love right and Buffy gets turned into a rat.
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Passion

Lorraine: We open up at the Bronze where some breathy, sexy times music is playing and Buffy is dancing kind of seductively. I’m not gonna lie; I was briefly afraid Bitchy Buffy was back. Alas, this is just what those crazy kids do in their free time. You know, gyrate. Or in Xander’s case, bop with a lot of shoulders.

Angelus is standing in the background, lurking in the shadows and voice over-ing about passion, stirring and howling. I’m sure it’s a metaphor or something, I just am not a fan of this srsbsns voice over. Leave that shit to Veronica Mars.

Sweeney: A+ reference. As a fellow late joiner to the Buffy Party, my first thought was, “She’s like Veronica Mars, but with demons!” It took me a while to stop seeing parallels. Backwards, of course, but I can’t help it.

K: All I can think of is this:

Lor: The Scoobies leave The Bronze, Buffy arm in arm with an adorable Willow who smiles and eats a lollipop. Xander and Cordy follow them, and I’m still not sure how I feel about those two.

As they walk out of the frame, we see a couple who could be in a romantic embrace, but this is Sunnydale so it is actually Angelus draining a girl of blood. The girl drops down in front of him. He walks out and watches as the Scoobies go, his vamp grill morphing away as he starts to follow them. I’d like to point out that his hair was definitely affected by the vampy transformation. I’m serious. Go check out that scene. His hair was suddenly extra gelled.

Sweeney: On top of what is already a hyper -gelled Angel. Losing a soul clearly added time in the hair and makeup chair. Apparently people without souls: (1) smoke (2) use epic amounts of hair gel -and- (3) are devoted to guyliner.

Lor: #lifelessonsfromBuffy

At home, Buffy is getting ready for bed. After she cuts out the lights, we see Angelus lurking outside her window. We fade, in the same setting, to some time after Buffy has fallen asleep. Angelus creepily strokes Buffy’s face as he voice overs that passion rules us all. We pan out and watch him watch her sleep.

Dear Edward Cullen,
See? When vampires sit around and watch people sleep, IT IS CREEPY AS FUCK.
Love,
The realistic population of the world.

K: +1. And when you’re done with this note, please forward it to Christian Grey, mmmkay?

Sweeney: He is beyond help. As commenters rightly pointed out, everything Edward Cullen does becomes so. much. creepier when you eliminate the demon element. Go figure.

Lor: Roll credits.

Buffy wakes up to find a little note on her pillow. Angelus Mail! She opens it and finds a pencil drawn picture of herself sleeping. Angelus has mad art in the dark skillz, you guys.

At school, Buffy stomps into the Wiggins Library and tells the rest of the gang about Angelus’ late night visit. Cordy says she thought vamps couldn’t come in uninvited and Giles clarifies that though that’s true, once they are invited, it’s like a lifetime membership. The eternal house guest.

Xander blah blahs about the perils of inviting strange men into your room and Cordy ditzes about having once invited Angel into her car. Buffy wants to find some way to un-invite him. Giles turns to consult his books but is interrupted by Xander addressing someone entering the library. “Hello? Excuse me but have you ever heard of knocking,” Xander says. Is this Jonathan AGAIN? WTF?

Sweeney: The thing is, I didn’t even notice it the first time around. That’s the reason I keep pointing it out, on my second pass. HE’S FUCKING EVERYWHERE, and has yet to acquire a reason for that.

Lor: Jonathan says he’s there to get some books, on account of this being a school library. It’s pretty meta of them to make fun of how Sunnydale is the worst school ever. I respect that. Giles directs the students to the proper section and the gang promptly clears it. Students in the library totally throws them off their game. So, of course, they continue discussing their top secret business in the hallway. Surrounded by students.

K: Be nice, Lor. We’ve established already that the entire population of Sunnydale is clueless when it comes to such conversations. EXCEPT when they’re overheard in the Wiggins Library (see: Xander finding out Buffy’s the Slayer).

Lor: In their hallways conference, Cordy wonders why Angelus doesn’t just kill B, since he has the opportunity to, and Xander summarizes that it is the, “‘nah nah nah nah nah nah’ approach to battle.” Word.

Buffy is worried for her mom, as when Angelus was torturing Drusilla, he first went after her family. She considers telling her mom the truth but Giles objects. Xander does too on the grounds that telling more people the secret would “cheapen it for us.” UGH XANDER. His comebacks are always so hit or miss. MISS.

The rest of this scene is just setting up the contrivance framework. Giles basically says to ignore the bully and see if he goes away. He even uses the episode title for good measure and says that Buffy cannot be a slave to her passion. “You mustn’t let Angel get to you no matter how provocative his behavior may become.” Smells like foreshadowing.

Sweeney: FORESHADOWING PARTY! I’LL BRING THE BALLOONS AND TEQUILA!

Lor: The bell rings in Ms. Calendar’s class. She calls Willow to her desk and very weirdly asks Willow to cover her class the next day as she will be late. OMG, WHAT? Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Giving a bad name to American education since 1997. Anyways, Willow is jazzed about it but then Willow Babbles about the class not recognizing her authority.

K: Sorry. I can’t resist:

Lor: I forgive you.

The Babble is interrupted by Buffy and Giles. Ms. Calendar greets them both, but Buffy snottily ignores her and pulls Willow away. As they leave, you can hear Willow saying that she has to talk to her, because she’s a teacher. Aw, Willow.

Giles stays behind to talk to Jenny. He mentions wanting a spell to keep Angelus out of Buffy’s house and Jenny hands him a book she thinks may help. She says she knows Giles feels betrayed. He awesomely says that is one of the side effects of betrayal. Jenny explains herself: she was raised by the people who Angelus hurt the most and was acting in favor of her duty to them. She lied to Giles because she thought she was doing the right thing. She never meant to hurt anyone.

I still don’t like her as a character, but I believe her.

Sweeney: +1. Begrudgingly, but yeah.

Lor: She continues that she didn’t know she would fall in love with Giles. She wants to make things up to him but he thinks she needs to be more worried about making it up to Buffy.

Dinner at the Summers house. Joyce asks Buffy what’s wrong and then says she’s read all the parenting books, so Buffy can tell her anything. Wow. That’s probably where she’s been while she was supposed to be parenting.

Sweeney: A+

Lor: Buffy gives Joyce the For Dummies version of her and Angelus, saying they are off again, that he’s been following her around, and should he show up at the house, Joyce is not to invite him in.

Cut to Willow in some hideous pajamas. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I write these recaps real time. That is, I watch a few minutes of the episode and then I come back to the post and recap. I think it keeps my reactions authentic if I’m not writing with the end in mind. Anyhow, all that to say that as soon as I saw Willow walking around her room in those hideous pajamas, I thought, “SHIT. ANGELUS HAS A LIFE TIME MEMBERSHIP INVITATION INTO WILLOW’S ROOM.”

I’m seriously wigging for her right now.

She’s talking to Buffy on the phone as she drops food in her fish tank. When she turns, she’s surprised by a note on her bed. She opens it to find her fish all dead and strung together.

Well… that was a lot less than I expected it to be. But I’m glad Willow is safe.

K: So are we all. It would be a lesser show without her. 

Lor: Willow goes to Buffy’s to spend the night. They talk about stuff, but I’m distracted by Buffy’s weird hair. Has it been this weird all season? I’m not a fan.

K: Pretty much. Her hair has been decidedly Not Good for ages. 

Lor: At the Baddie Factory, Wheelie!Spike is brooding. Drusilla walks in, saying she brought him a gift, and it’s a puppy. She tries to get Spike to eat it and even does the whole, “pretend the food is an airplane,” sort of deal, saying, “open up for mummy.” With a puppy. I am disturbed on so many levels. Spike will not have Dru feeding him, so he angry wheels away. Angelus of course walks in just in time to be a jerk and insinuate he’s taking care (wink, wink) of Dru in Spike’s wheelie absence. I just like typing wheelie. Also, I’m seconding Sweeney’s, “I bet Spike is missing soulful Angel right about now.”

Dru coos and pets her own face (for real) while saying that having them fight over her makes her happy, and also crazy, because one second later she gets one of her crazy PREMONITION YEAH!s. She says an old enemy is seeking help to destroy them.

Cut to Jenny walking into some sort of occult store. With the sun at her back, you can really, really, really tell that Jenny needs a bra. She walks in and orders an Orb of Thesula. The shopkeeper tells her it’s useless with out the translations of some ancient text, and Jenny says she’s using her nifty computer skillz to translate it. All in the hopes of giving Angelus back his soul.

Wheelie!Spike secretly thanks you.

At school, Willow and Buffy are walking and WHAT IS THAT ON XANDER’S BODY?

I’m even immune to Willow’s combination and Buffy still not feeling the cold. Xander even makes a skeevy sleep over joke and I don’t care because that sweater. That plaid.

K: Seriously. Bad outfit is bad. Also, in regards to the skeevy sleepover joke, my notes from this point in the episode say “XANDER, YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING CREEPOID.” That should give you a sufficient indication of things. 

Lor: Anyways, Willow spots Ms. Calendar who made it on time for class and is sad because of “five hours of lesson planning yesterday down the drain.” Oh, girl. You have an adorable boyfriend. Find better ways to spend your time.

Buffy approaches Jenny and says that she can tell Jenny feels bad about what happened. Jenny confirms.  Buffy snots, “good. Keep it up.” Sometimes she’s such a teenager, I can’t even take it.

She somewhat redeems herself by telling Jenny that Giles misses her. “I don’t want him to be lonely. I don’t want anyone to,” Buffy explains, and the Sneaky Soft Piano of Sudden Emotions just comes out of nowhere. Damn, B. You are good.

Inside the school, Giles asks Buffy how her night was. “Sleepless, but no human fatalities,” she says.

Giles has found a counter spell for the permanent vampire invitation, and Cordy is super happy about that, as she recently convinced her grandma to switch cars with her. I don’t know. Her charm has faded since she started dating Xander, I think. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF THOSE TWO.

Giles finishes that the anti-lifetime membership spell involves rhyming couplets, sprinkling of holy water and hanging crosses.

We cut to Willow nailing a cross onto her wall and I LOL forever, even before she explains, “Ira Rosenberg’s only daughter nailing crucifixes to her wall?”

Sweeney: This moment was so endlessly fantastic.

Lor: Cordy is on hand to be insensitive and make stupid jokes. Before she leaves, Cordy spots some more Angelus Mail. This time it’s a sketch of Joyce sleeping.

Joyce arrives home to Angelus lurking on the lawn. He corners Joyce as she gets out of her car and says they need to talk. Joyce, for her part at least recognizes Angel, giving her 1/3 of a Sandy Cohen Eyebrow. Is that too generous?

K: Probably.

Lor: Angelus seems impressed that Buffy mentioned him and then starts getting all sorts of Christian Grey Stalker Levels of Crazy. Joyce freaks out and he keeps going on about needing Buffy. He’ll die without Buffy. Joyce tries to quickly get inside, fumbling with her keys and Angelus delivers the FATALITY: “I haven’t been able to sleep since the night we made love.”

Low blow, Angelus. Low blow. It almost makes up for your pansy moves, like killing gold fish.

Joyce manages to scramble inside. Angelus makes to follow her, but is stopped by sucking sound effect and invisible force field. Buffy is descending the stairs, Willow behind her reciting the rhyming couplets. Arms crossed, face in full bad-ass mode, Buffy gives a little hair flip, and snarks, “Sorry Angel. Changed the locks.” She slams the door in his face.

I’m such a fan-girl for Buffy’s bad-assery. I mean, it would’ve been more bad ass to, I don’t know, kill him, but whatevs. Get you some, Buffy.

K: That door-slam to the face is almost as great as that time she Slayer Strength kicked him in the nuts. 

Sweeney: Word. I fangirl badass Buffy more than probably anything else in this show, including shirtless Angel and probably even Willow. I feel like a traitor for saying that, but it’s true.

Lor: Night at Sunnydale High, Ms. Calendar is doing something on that computer thing she always talks about. Giles walks in and they flirt tentatively. Jenny says she may have some news and asks to see Giles later. He consents, and the Twinkling Piano of Shit, This Isn’t Going to End Well Is It? starts up. This isn’t going to end well, is it?

At the occult store from earlier, the proprietor is closing up when Drusilla and her puppy Sunshine walk in. Dru wants to know what Jenny was there for, and we cut to her working on a program called “Translator PRO.”

Translator PRO: for all your LOST MAGICKS! and Ancient Text needs.

K: At least it’s an improvement from the Scan-o-matique??

Lor: Jenny manages to translate the ancient text. She saves her work to a floppy disk and is printing it out when she spots Angelus at the back of her classroom. She startles and tells him that she has good news. He’s knows all about her Orb of Thesula plans, though, and promptly throws the Orb against a wall, shattering it. He pulls the computer onto the floor and it crashes, and sets on fire. Angelus vamps out.

Jenny tries to run, but Angelus grabs her and throws her against the door. The force of impact opens the door, so Jenny gets up and runs. There is a chase, through the school and finally up a flight of stairs. But Angelus is faster and he’s waiting for her up there. He grabs her by the hair and says, “sorry Jenny. This is where you get off.” He breaks her neck.

HE KILLS MS. CALENDAR YOU GUYS.

Okay, so I’m the only one who didn’t know this, but damn. He really killed her. She manages to redeem herself for only long enough to promptly die.

K: I read on a Buffy wiki recently that Whedon’s original plan was to have OZ die. As much as that whole Jenny-redeeming-herself-and-then-instantly-dying thing sucks, it’s SO MUCH BETTER than if Whedon had killed Oz. 

Lor: Giles arrives at Buffy’s house and Willow answers the door. She tells him everything went fine with the spell, until Angelus showed up and told Joyce about him and B… you know.  Giles catches on and says that yes he knows. “Oh, good, ’cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn’t know.” And this show made me giggle 2 seconds after Ms. Calendar is killed. THANKS SHOW!

Upstairs, Joyce and Buffy are having the talk. Buffy tells her mom that Angelus was her first and only. Joyce says he’s too old for her, and she doesn’t even know the half of it. By the time Joyce wishes Buffy would show more judgement, I’m pained by the contrast between this scene and Giles’ scene with Buffy where he declares that he supports and respects her. He says he’d never wag his finger or guilt her.

Buffy says she made a mistake. Joyce counters that she can be shut out of Buffy’s life, but that she cannot be expected to ever stop caring.

At Giles’ apartment, he finds a red rose stuck to his door. Giles sniffs it all romantic-like and holy crap, my heart is already breaking. He opens the door and there are rose petals scattered, wine chilling and opera playing. And Angelus Mail. It says simply, “upstairs.” Guys, there are even candles lit on the stairs. As Giles climbs the stairs, the music crescendos until he sees Jenny, laid out on the bed, eyes open but unseeing. He drops the bottle, his face falls. She is dead.

The music carries on into the next scene. Police lights are flashing outside as Giles stands, shocked as the body is carried out. A police officer asks Giles to come with him, to answer questions, but Giles says he needs to make a phone call first.

Sweeney: His despondency and grief and everything from Giles in the end of this episode is just so incredibly soul-crushing. Since Giles is the Substitute Parent around these parts, it’s like seeing a parent cry and that’s the worst.

Lor: Cut to Buffy’s house again, where Angelus is watching from outside. We hear the phone ring and Buffy runs to pick it up. We watch her as she listens, her face registering the news we know she is receiving. She lets the phone fall away and Willow is there to pick it up, her turn to receive the news. Buffy slides down the wall into a crouch, silent tears. Willow is noisy grief. She cries out and Angelus watches all of this with pleasure.

K: This is some quality acting from Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan, you guys. Seriously. 

Lor: Xander, Cordy, Willow and Buffy all go to find Giles, scared of what he may do.

Sure enough, Giles is packing a bag with weapons and gasoline. He walks away as the camera focuses on more Angelus Mail, this time a sketch of a dead Jenny.

The Scoobies arrive at Giles’ apartment too late. Willow deduces that hes gone to the Baddie Factory to kill Angelus. “Well, it’s about time somebody did,” Xander says, like the insensitive prick he can often be. Oh, there’s more:

“I’m sorry, but let’s not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying ‘I told you so’ long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the, uh, fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, ‘Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!'”

You DESERVE a little something? UGH.

K: Hey, Buffy? Remember that time you kicked Angelus in the nuts and it was awesome? XANDER DESERVES ONE OF THOSE RIGHT ABOUT NOW, MMMKAY??

Sweeney: +1

Lor:  Buffy says Xander is right but that she’s just worried Giles is gonna get himself killed.

Cut to the factory where wheelie!Spike (or “roller boy” as Angelus calls him. That’s a good one too.) and Angelus are arguing.  Angelus assures Wheelie!Spike that he has everything under control, just as we hear something crash through the window and set the table in front of them on fire. The vamps scatter. Angelus gets an arrow in the shoulder and we see Giles approach from behind the fire. He has a torch in his hand, lights it with the already burning fire and starts hitting Angelus IN THE FACE with the lit torch.

BAD. ASS.

K: Never underestimate a librarian, y’all. 

Lor: He gets a number of really great hits in before Angelus is able to get the upper hand. “You’ve had your fun,” he tells Giles, lifting him in the air by the throat. “But you know what it’s time for?”

“My fun,” Buffy says as she enters the shot. They start to fight and you can see Drusilla wheeling Spike away in the background. LOL.

Buffy gets some hits in before Angelus tries to run away up some stairs. BUT BUFFY DON’T NEED NO STAIRS  and uses boxes and conveniently placed debris to cut off Angelus’ escape. Buffy beats the crap out of Angelus for a while and with every punch, kick, and rope choke (!!) you can almost hear the, “and that’s for Willow’s fish! And that’s for drawing me in my sleep. And that’s for drawing my mom in her sleep you PERV. AND THAT IS FOR MS. MOTHER FUCKING CALENDAR.”

Sweeney: She did deserve to have the “fuck” relocated in her name, what with the repenting and the dying.

Lor: Angel is all but beat, but he points out that Giles is knocked out and in the middle of a fire. Buffy goes to help Giles and Angelus escapes.

Buffy helps Giles out but he pushes her away, saying this wasn’t her fight. She punches him and he falls to the ground as she yells, “are you trying to get yourself killed?” Her face crumples and she kneels next to him, hugs him as he cries, and tells him she cannot do this alone.

Sweeney: AND THEN WE ALL JUST DIE BECAUSE OMG CRYING GILES:

K: +1. Crying Giles kills me.

Lor: We get a montage of a few things: Giles taking down the police tape in front of his apartment. A small pond at a cemetery. Jennifer Calendar’s headstone. Giles laying flowers at her grave.

Giles says he’s buried many people during his years as a watcher, but Jenny was the first that he’s loved. Buffy apologizes for not killing Angelus when she had the chance. She wasn’t ready then, but she is now.

In the computer lab, Willow walks in and announces to the class that she’ll be covering until a new teacher is found. (K: Really, Sunnydale??? You don’t have a list of emergency teachers?? S: They did acknowledge being a shit school earlier in this episode.) Behind the desk, Willow puts down a few books and as Buffy narrates, “I can’t hold on to the past anymore. Angel has gone. Nothing’s ever gonna bring him back,” we see the floppy disk where Jenny saved the LOST MAGICKS slip through a crack and fall to the floor.

 

Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy gets the flu. It’s more exciting than it sounds. Tune in for S02 E18 – Killed By Death.