Previously: Buffy was hospitalized, a demon preyed on sick kids, and Whedon used his entire special effects budget for the season.
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I Only Have Eyes For You
Sweeney: We open at The Bronze with some mellow music and pan up to Buffy looking out at the scene, brooding. She hasn’t said anything, but she’s definitely brooding. A guy from Algebra II, who she doesn’t know due to not knowing school-related-things, asks her to the dance. Unfortunately, she’s “never dating anyone ever again.” I know we don’t like broody Buffy, but I hear having a magical soul-evaporating vagina will do this to a girl.
Also, it’s a Sadie Hawkins dance. He doesn’t actually ask, so much as suggest that she ask him, but still: you’re doing it wrong.
Lorraine: I am reminded of the guys of Forks High School not understanding Sadie Hawkins dances, as revealed to me by Alex Day.
Kirsti: And I’m once again thrilled that I live in Australia where school dances were a once a year event. Also, I went to a girls school, so every school dance was a Sadie Hawkins dance…
Sweeney: Downstairs, B’s heading out early and Willow suggests dating to get into date mode. We cut from there to a LOVE GONE WAY BAD scene at the high school. A couple is fighting/breaking up, but the guy is having none of that, in total Christian Grey fashion. He says, “Love is forever,” as he points a gun at her.
Buffy arrives just in time to break up the near murder. Also, a janitor is lurking on the edges of the scene. After Buffy kicks the gun out of the guy’s hand, both have no idea what just happened. Buffy quips something about the guy going OJ on the girlfriend; the girl jumps to his defense, saying that they weren’t even fighting a minute ago. (SO FSoG I CAN’T HANDLE IT.) Also, the gun disappears. SHPOOKY.
As per usual, Buffy is blamed. She ends up in Principal Snyder’s office, where she is a regular. While he is briefly out of the room (which, seriously? Like he would ever leave B alone in his office?) a 1955 yearbook falls off of a bookshelf in his office. I have no idea why he has a bookshelf containing the 1955 yearbook, but whatever. More stuff I don’t understand: Buffy simply picks up the yearbook and puts it back on the shelf, as if there was nothing weird or Hellmouthy about a single book falling out of a well-packed shelf.
K: Sometimes, Buffy is kind of a moron.
Sweeney: Sunnydale High continues to be the worst school in the history of fictional education, as Willow is still teaching Ms. Calendar’s class.
Lor: SRSLY. She makes a “joke” and the class all laughs, but as much as I love Willow, I must say it’s probably at her shirt.
GIRL.
K: I know that *I* laugh at that shirt, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the class were doing the same.
Sweeney: Giles pops in at the end of class to see if she needs any help. (A little late to be useful.) They have a Sad Panda conversation about Ms. Calendar, and Willow gives Giles this protection quartz necklace thing that she found in her desk drawer.
In Buffy’s history class we hear an actual lesson going on, which is crazy because I didn’t think those happened here. Anyway, Buffy has a random and intense daydream that she is in that same classroom, only it’s the 1950’s (1955, MAYBE?) and when the class ends, she witnesses implied inappropriateness between a high school boy and 1950’s teacher lady. The guy was also on Popular. I fucking loved that show. He got leukemia, and even though it seems inappropriate, I can’t help but call him Leukemia Boy. Sorry, buddy.
Leukemia Boy
K: In my head, he’s Henry from Ugly Betty, and also a doctor from a very short-lived show about epidemiology. Which, now that I’ve written it, explains why it was a short-lived show. Carry on.
Sweeney: Buffy snaps back to reality, and present-day history teacher has unwittingly written, “DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME, BITCH!” on the chalkboard. It’s mega awkward for him, and everyone laughs. Then the bell rings and everyone just moves on with their lives because of the Hellmouth and the fact that this is the worst school ever.
Lor: No doubt the conversation in the hallway consists of, “you think that’s bad? A student is teaching my class!” “You think THAT’S bad? Our teacher gave us demon infested eggs to baby-sit.” “Whatever. My teacher was a pedophillic mantis.” Etc.
Sweeney: This is almost certainly true. There’s a throwaway line in the beginning of season 3 that I feel supports this theory.
Buffy is trying to explain the dream to Xander who is all, “LOL NBD” up until he opens his locker and a demon arm reaches out and grabs him. Then it disappears. (K: It doesn’t take Xander with it. SAD PANDA) This episode is filled with odd nonsense like this from the Demon of the Week. I respect this week’s demon for keeping us on our toes. He can do so many different tricks!
In the library, they explain the situation to Giles, who is once again creepily excited about our demon. It sounds to Giles like a poltergeist, which he describes as being angry and confused and generally unsure of what it wants, making it more angry and confused. “Like a normal teenager,” Buffy quips.
That night, the same scene as before plays out again, while Giles is lingering at school way late, doing ghost research. This time, the roles are occupied by a janitor and a teacher and it plays long enough for the teacher to get shot. We get to hear more of the intervening dialogue this time, though. She ended things with him, because they can never be together and she wants him to have a normal life. Even without knowing the ghost’s original story, it’s all intensely creepy.
Because it turns out to be a bit of an error in the consistency of this story, I’d like to point out that the janitor runs away after he shoots the teacher. This is necessary here because Giles tackles the janitor, and he wouldn’t have needed to do so if he were walking away somberly, as we later learn he should have been. Whatever. Also, Giles appears to do the tackling in part because he hears whispering of, “I need you,” which he thinks is Jenny. Poor Giles.
K: Also, it’s kind of nice to know that Sunnydale has deaths amongst its staff as well as its students. Two in the space of three episodes!
Sweeney: Meanwhile, Angel is showing Dru and Spike around the swell new vamp lair he found them. There’s a garden! And also, as Spike notes, loads of ways for the sunlight to come in and fry them! Womp.
Lor: This must be how Spike love begins to grow because I continue to love him as the voice of reason. Want to make Spike look amazing? Contrast him with Drusilla and Angelus.
K: Snarky Spike FTW.
Sweeney: I’m a fan of characters who are useful. The end of this season has some fantastic moments for Spike.
Anyway, the next day in the library Giles tells the Scoobies what happened. Just as with the kids, the janitor remembered shooting the teacher but had no idea why he did it, and the gun went missing. Giles is convinced that the ghost is Jenny, even though, as the Scoobies point out, this is a hyper-specific scenario that has no relationship to the way Jenny died. Giles encourages them to question him, “Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.” It’s heart-breaking to watch Giles so overcome by his grief.
The Scoobies go to Ms. Calendar’s room to take their research to the computer, knowing that Giles will be of no help. Buffy mopes because ruined Giles is, “More fallout from [her] love life.” Major Buffy Brood in this episode. By now it’s clear that this Buffy Brood is a significant part of the plot. Between Buffy, Giles, and the ghost, there are so! many! feelings! in this episode.
Lor: This all makes me dislike the previous episode more than I originally thought I did. This feels so disconnected from the progress Buffy made to, “FUCK THAT. I’MMA KILL HIM.” I mean, they should all be mourning Mrs. Calendar, which again makes the whole flu episode feel especially filler-y.
Sweeney: +1 to all of that.
Thanks to contrivance, Willow immediately finds the exact school shooting in her shitty late 90’s computer.
K: Perhaps there have only been like two shootings at Sunnydale High on account of all the monster related deaths?? Or maybe that’s just the Australian in me speaking, on account of how there hasn’t been a shooting in a high school here since like the 1950s…
Sweeney: Buffy remembers the yearbook. She identifies the photos of the people from her dream, which correspond with the shooting. The story, as the viewer already basically knows, is that a female teacher was dating a male student. She breaks it off. He confronts her the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance and kills her.
Buffy is insta-judgey. She babbles about how she only feels bad for the teacher and that the student was a shitface. Or something like that. Willow points out that it’s kind of sad for both of them, but B is having none of that sympathy game. Nobody, mind you, points out that the relationship was inappropriate or brings up that aspect to why the guy might merit some share of the sympathy.
Lor: STATUTORY RAPE.
K: At the risk of pissing everyone off, can we just remember the part where Buffy is sixteen and Angel is TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY SOMETHING?
Sweeney: I’m pretty sure this is what you are going for, but you’re making my head explode.
I didn’t want to do this in this post, but here it goes, as quickly as I can manage: (1) YOU SAID IT WAS “NOT AN AGE DIFFERENCE” JUST A FEW POSTS AGO. (2) IT’S NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING. (2a) There is a basic suspension of a whole host of normal rules for everyone in the land of mythical shit. I’m not going to elaborate on this, but assume, based on point #1 that you’re actually with me on this and only trying to annoy me. (2b) The problem with a student/teacher relationship extends beyond age to the power dynamics and the task a teacher is charged with. SnarkSquad.com isn’t the place for me to elaborate on this, so I’ll leave it at that. (3) Just for the sake of accuracy, she’s 17 at this point. (4) RAGE. Sorry, that’s not an actual point, I just had a little more fan girl energy to expend.
I promise I still love you, K, in spite of my hulkpandasmashing your desk.
MOVING ON: While it’s happening for personal reasons, Buffy’s inability to feel bad for him, her unyielding preference for justice over mercy is an interesting character point. I liked the short exchange between the Scoobies over this, because it’s telling to hear their respective reactions to this story.
Xander breaks the team for lunch, because he’s Xander. Cordelia is mostly ditzy Cordy in this episode, which is unfortunate, but her anti-Sadie Hawkins speech is amusing, in an only-from-Cordelia kind of way. She’s organizing a boycott. “Do you realize that the girls have to ask the guys? And pay and everything!”
Just as Cordelia is telling us that things are going to get really scary, lunch is interrupted by snakes! SNAKES EVERYWHERE! I told you this ghost was zany! Outside, emergency folk arrive and Principal Snyder tells another official-looking person, “We’re on a Hellmouth.” This has zero significance for this episode. We’re nearing the end of season 2, so this line is here solely to prep you for season 3. We’re approaching the time where Whedon realized that his show might be on for a long time and maybe he should develop some sort of consistency.
K: YAY, CONSISTENCY!!!
Sweeney: Willow is leading a Scoobies meeting in Buffy’s bedroom. It’s time for THE FINAL SOLUTION. It’s not, as Xander assumes, nuking the school. She wants to perform an exorcism. She’s got a map of the school laying out where all four them need to be, with B obviously volunteering to be in the “hot spot” in the middle of the triangle they’re going to make to “bind” the bad spirit. Buffy is all stoked to Buffy Brawn a ghost and I’m not sure how she thinks that’s going to work.
Lor: Maybe she’s gonna Brood it to death or use that hair to scare the SHIT out of it. That might work.
Sweeney: Valid theory. Willow made these crazy protection necklaces, that are less pretty and more smelly than the one she found in Ms. Calendar’s desk. When they get to the school, the doors ominously slam shut.
Back in the garden, our demon trio plays out a scene we have now watched a million times. Dru is ultra-creepy and having premonitions, Angel is feeling up Dru to make Spike jealous, and Spike treats Dru as much like a concerned parent as a lover. They have many great moments, this trio, but I’m ready for their arc to change, because this is getting tired. (Lor: Exactly.)
K: On a vaguely related topic, I went to an exhibition today that included this photo. I’m about 90% convinced that the photographer was Drusilla because who the hell else would set up a creepy scene like that?!?!
Sweeney: At the school, Willow runs into Giles and he compliments her on her ingenuity in making the protection necklaces, but is otherwise still way absent, because he’s focused on his ghost-Jenny theory. Cordelia is in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror, and Buffy, being in the hot spot, witnesses the ghost couple dancing.
Xander finds more snakes, Cordelia’s reflection is horrifying, Willow starts sinking into the ground, and the ghosts Buffy sees start looking actually dead. Giles comes in time to save Willow from being swallowed by the ground. Buffy dreams the rest of the ghost’s night in flashbacks before he appears in zombie form ordering her to get out.
Willow tells Giles that Jenny could never be this mean, and Giles accepts that it’s not really her. Then the clock starts chiming and the Scoobies light candles and start doing the chant in their respective locations. Everything goes quiet for a second and then all of a sudden a swarm of wasps appears and Scoobies flee. The doors having been sealed shut by the ghost requires a little Buffy Brawn for the escape.
Lor: I was pretty amused by how much this plan did not work. BUT WILLOW READ THIS ON THE INTERNET. MEANING IT IS TRUE. It should’ve worked!
Sweeney: THE INTERNET SPEAKS ONLY TRUTH.
They go back to Buffy’s house, where Joyce Summers is, unsurprisingly, nowhere to be found. It’s for the best, though: if Joyce weren’t a completely negligent parent, she might be more concerned by the school librarian hanging out with students late at night. Giles says that the ghost is reliving the night of the Sadie Hakwins dance, but it’s not clear why or what he wants.
Buffy is a sulky teenager on the outskirts of this circle, but speaks up to say that the guy wants forgiveness. Giles notes that forgiveness is impossible due to Pedo Teacher dying each time the scenario plays out. She and Giles have another lovely exchange that is both (1) indicative of their personalities -and- (2) part of this show’s awesome blending of weird paranormal stuff with legitimate life things:
Buffy: Good. He doesn’t deserve it.
Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s not done because they deserve it; it’s done because they need it.
Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that’s not something you forgive. No matter why he did what did and no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid. It is just something he’s gonna have to live with.
Xander: He can’t live with it, Buff. He’s dead.
I was going to stop at the Giles quote, but the whole thing was worth including. B is feeling all sorts of My Vag Ate My Boyfriend feelings, still. That has been clear the whole episode, but now the Scoobies have all joined us on that train.
Buffy hears the, “I need you,” voice and goes back to school alone. The wasps clear out for her, but the Scoobies are stuck outside when they arrive. Willow is freaking out because Buffy basically went in there to get shot. Giles points out that the school’s deserted, which means that there are no men in the building, meaning that there is no way for Leukemia Boy to play his part.
But! Alas! Angel arrives! Angel knows Buffy is there, presumably because of Dru’s premonition? He can get by the wasps due to being a vampire.
BUT WAIT. WHEDON’S ALL “FUCK YOU, GENDER ROLES”: Buffy takes on the part of Leukemia Boy and Angel is PedoTeacher! Here’s the thing: I find the teacher/student relationship enormously creepy and inappropriate, and I suspect that the Angel-haters in the crowd see this as a glorious HA HA PEDO ANGEL moment (K: You mean like I did up there somewhere before I read this far??). I’m not going to go on the IT’S DIFFERENT BECAUSE rant here. (OOPS.) I like this plot, because it’s an awesome way to bring the soul-eating-vagina-Buffy-Brood to an end.
The scene plays out, jumping between Buffy/Angel to Leukemia Boy/PedoTeacher. Buffy cries and tells Angel that she can’t just make her disappear because he says it’s over. This is actually when he steps into the part; he’s approaching her to kill her and then BAM! POSSESSION!
Angel, as PedoTeacher, just wants her to have some kind of normal life and she doesn’t give a damn because she thinks about him every minute. The whole thing is pretty intense, albeit majorly soap-opera-esque. There’s a bit of a chase, and Angel/PT asks for the gun. Buffy/LB is all, “Don’t! Don’t talk to me like I’m some stupid-” BANG! The gun fires by accident, something we did not previously know.
The Scoobies hear the gun shot from outside and freak out.
Buffy, as Leukemia Boy, goes into an empty classroom where we earlier saw the couple dancing. She’s about to kill herself, finishing the scenario. But! The role of PedoTeacher has been carried out by a vampire and guns don’t kill vampires. The gunshot knocked him over a ledge, but he wakes up and goes to Buffy. PedoTeacher forgives Leukemia Boy and then there is a big makeout scene and some really shitty lighting effect to signify the ghost’s spirits finally being allowed to rest. It’s not quite as gif-worthy as squiggly-Angel from a few episodes back, but it’s close.
Lor: Squiggly Angel is my favorite effect 4eva.
K: +1.
FEELINGS.
Sweeney: Anyway, the ghosts are gone and they come back to reality, and Buffy is all, “Angel?” and he’s confused for a second before he growls and pushes her away before running back to the vamp-lair. As ready as I am for this particular bit of Buffy Brood to be done, this scene breaks my heart.
Lor: Okay, so after watching that bit I’m going to amend my previous statement. The death of Mrs. Calendar was what it took to get Buffy to a point where she could separate Angelus from Angel. So that she could graduate from Ball Kicking to Vampire Killing, at least emotionally, if that makes sense. I thought it was interesting that she was so unwilling to forgive Leukemia Boy. At first I thought it was some form of righteousness or her failure to see the similarities between LB and herself.
In the end, this is what she needed to be able to find forgiveness. She couldn’t forgive LB because she couldn’t forgive herself. It was all very poignant indeed.
K: Over here on Team Heartless Bitch, this episode mostly just makes me think of a Dean Winchester line from Supernatural where Sam gets possessed by a female demon: “Dude, you like full-on had a girl inside you for like a whole week. That’s pretty naughty.”
Sweeney: In the library, the Scoobies announce an “All Clear” on their inspection of the school. Giles goes to console Buffy, who is still quite shaken. She is contemplating the fact that James picked her because he could relate to her, due to them both being majorly sad and plagued with guilt. Buffy doesn’t understand why Pedo Teacher would forgive him. Giles asks if it matters, and she says no, she guesses not.
In the vamp lair, Angel is scrubbing himself clean and he’s super pissed about the whole love thing.
K: Hands down my favourite thing from this episode is Spike’s line here: “They say when you’ve drawn blood, you’ve exfoliated.”
Sweeney: He had a number of gems in this episode. Angel scurries Dru off for a vile kill. Dru invites Spike, but Angel isn’t having that. He tells Spike to try to have fun without him, and as they run off, Spike is all, “Oh, I will. Sooner than you think,” as he stands up from his wheelchair. There is even adventure-movie music playing in the background as he stands up from his wheelchair. It was some really badass standing up, Spike.
Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Sunnydale is suddenly good at something. Try not to be surprised when it turns out to be Hellmouth-y in S02 E20 – Go Fish.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
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