The League of Strays by L.B. Schulman – These strays should be put down.

The League of Strays by L.B. Schulman
Release Date: October 1, 2012
Source: ARC (Netgalley)
Order: Powells   ||   Amazon

When a mysterious note appears in Charlotte’s mailbox inviting her to join the League of Strays, she’s hopeful it will lead to making friends. What she discovers is a motley crew of loners and an alluring, manipulative ringleader named Kade. Kade convinces the group that they need one another both for friendship and to get back at the classmates and teachers who have betrayed them. But Kade has a bigger agenda. In addition to vandalizing their school and causing fights between other students, Kade’s real intention is a dangerous plot that will threaten lives and force Charlotte to choose between her loyalty to the League and her own conscience. –Goodreads

In a nutshell: An an unlikely group of kids get together to do an unlikely set of things and it is unlikely that you will make it through this book.

Main Character: Charlotte loses my respect on page one, when she receives an anonymous invitation to meet an unknown group of people at an unfamiliar location in the dead of night, AND SHE GOES. Why? ‘Cause there is so little time and so much plot to force, people. That’s why.

Charlotte is completely unsympathetic and has no redeeming qualities. She’s annoying, whiney, and her #firstworldproblems consume her in this book. I don’t want to put down bullying, because it is a serious problem. Charlotte, however, has no perspective and she blames her poor life choices on shit that 99% of everyone has to face in their life. An example:

“Sidney Bishop told Nicole Haines that Mark Lawrence had beat up his girlfriend, who was recovering at Glenwood Community Hospital with a broken hand. I prayed it was true, because that would mean our plan for Dave had nothing to do with this latest development.”

WTF. You are praying that some dude really did beat up his girlfriend, SO THAT YOU CAN GET OFF SCOT-FREE? Even when Charlotte “learns her lesson” in the last couple of chapters, it’s too little, too cunty. Wait, I meant late.

Love Interest? UGH. Kade Harlin. We first meet Kade at night, as he’s the one who has invited everyone to the very suspicious meeting. He’s the one organizing the league of strays and he’s all typical-YA, brooding, crooked smile, douchebag handsome. Our girl falls for him almost immediately with all sorts of “drawn to him” bullshit. It’s clear to the reader though (well, at least this reader) that Kade is a villain masquerading as a love interest.

This is what he says to one of the League girls like two pages into the book:

“Zoe Carpenter. Let’s see, mom divorced Zoe’s stepfather last year. Well, technically, he was number three. She lives in a home of revolving men, but the only one her mom really loves is Jack… Daniel’s.”

Oh, fantastic. AMAZING. 1.) Let’s please have more stalking in literature. There isn’t enough 2.) Let’s have tons of this guy in the book, please. Totally dreamy.

Supporting Character Racism? No, they just all suck too. All the League members lose my sympathy when they start combating bullying with bullying.

Negligent Parents? Yes. 4/5 League members have negligent parents and Charlotte’s parents hover in a way she finds displeasing. It’s another reason why I hate Charlotte so much: a set of non-negligent parents, and she treats them like crap. There are children in Goosebumps books who’d kill for those parents, Charlotte.

Ho Suspension? A PG one? There isn’t much action going on, but Charlotte does a lot of thinking with her vajay instead of her head, especially as the League’s pranks start escalating. Girlfriend, there is no crooked smile on Earth worth going through all that trouble for.

A+: LOL. Nothing. Oh, wait. A+ me for finishing it.

Fail: The “prank” against Richie’s bully, where they set him up to look gay, truly made me sick to my stomach. I don’t care what lesson you think your characters eventually learn, think about what you are insinuating when you choose to “punish” someone by making them seem gay. Really? And if you ask me, it wasn’t clear enough in the end how wrong homophobia is. The message at the end was, “escape it. Find somewhere where there is less of it.” I think it was sloppily handled and weighed down an already struggling book.

The End: It improves exponentially when Charlotte grows a backbone. Or maybe it just improves when it’s the end. Yeah, that one.

And so: Badly written, terrible characters, questionable plot and angering developments. I read it to the end because it was an ARC.

Final Grade: F