Sweeney: Hello, Traumateers! We’ve been having lots of holiday fun, but what with today being the hypothetical apocalypse and all, we figured that there was no better way to celebrate than with Fifty Shades of WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO US?
Lor: I thought we were going to give this as our collective present to the Internet, but I guess giving this as our collective, “goodbye cruel world,” makes more sense. Goodbye, cruel world.
Sweeney: Remember like forever ago when we were all, “Here’s a blank stalker boyfriend; make shit happen?” RIGHT. Well, we got some awesomely hilarious responses and we (1) want to share them with you -and- (2) want you to help us decide the awesomely hilarious winner.
So, ladies and gents, get your snarky pants on (or not — we don’t really like to encourage the wearing of pants ’round these parts) and let’s get to work, shall we? We’re going to start off with our fantastic runner-ups:
Aaaand, finally, our favorites. Also, as a little bonus treat, we also received a spin-off meme, Ridiculously Stupid Girlfriend. Poll is at the bottom of the page.
We hope you enjoyed these as much as we did. However, there can only be one winner. Help us decide.
[POLL NOW CLOSED. WINNER HERE.]
Thank you for all of the submissions and votes. Have a lovely weekend and a happy holidays! We’ll be taking a bit of a holiday break until Wednesday, when we come back with more Fifty Shades Trauma. We’ll announce our winner then.
Lor: Thanks, as always, for helping make this book bearable! We appreciate it more than you know.
The Snark Squad
Check out our next installment: Chapter 24 – Preserving the Murderapist’s Manhood.