Fifty Shades of Bonus Bullshit – Stalker Boyfriend Meme Contest

Sweeney: Hello, Traumateers! We’ve been having lots of holiday fun, but what with today being the hypothetical apocalypse and all, we figured that there was no better way to celebrate than with Fifty Shades of WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO US?

Lor: I thought we were going to give this as our collective present to the Internet, but I guess giving this as our collective, “goodbye cruel world,” makes more sense. Goodbye, cruel world.

Sweeney: Remember like forever ago when we were all, “Here’s a blank stalker boyfriend; make shit happen?” RIGHT. Well, we got some awesomely hilarious responses and we (1) want to share them with you -and- (2) want you to help us decide the awesomely hilarious winner.

So, ladies and gents, get your snarky pants on (or not — we don’t really like to encourage the wearing of pants ’round these parts) and let’s get to work, shall we? We’re going to start off with our fantastic runner-ups:


Submitted by Christina D.

stalker boyfriend entry

Submitted by Korin B.


Submitted by Kaitlin M.


Submitted by Clement P.



Submitted by Clement P.


Submitted by Dani D.


sbf clippings(1)

Submitted by Deborah R.


Submitted by Trina R.



Submitted by Trina R.


Submitted by Trina R.


Aaaand, finally, our favorites. Also, as a little bonus treat, we also received a spin-off meme, Ridiculously Stupid Girlfriend. Poll is at the bottom of the page.


Submitted by Dani D.


Submitted by Clement P.



Submitted by Trina R.


Submitted by Trina R.

We hope you enjoyed these as much as we did. However, there can only be one winner. Help us decide.


Thank you for all of the submissions and votes. Have a lovely weekend and a happy holidays! We’ll be taking a bit of a holiday break until Wednesday, when we come back with more Fifty Shades Trauma. We’ll announce our winner then.

Lor: Thanks, as always, for helping make this book bearable! We appreciate it more than you know.

Happy Holidays!


The Snark Squad



Check out our next installment: Chapter 24 – Preserving the Murderapist’s Manhood.

Did you like this? Share it:

  • These are all wonderful. Great job everyone!

    • We thought so too! Glad you enjoyed it πŸ˜€

  • Oh my god, I laughed my ass off at so many but the Kristen Stewart one made me choke on popcorn.

    • We were pleasantly surprised by that awesome gem too.

  • What fun! This def made me laugh a bit !! πŸ˜€

    • Us too! We tried to make our pre-mini-holiday-hiatus post a good one πŸ™‚

  • JR

    These are all just fantastic. Thank you to everyone involved (and particularly the Ladies of Snark themselves), if the world ends now I can be sure I’ll die laughing!

  • SO MANY LAUGHS! These are great! “NO? You must mean make you through brute force.” LOLZ forever.

  • La-Lunatique

    Oh please, please can Ridiculously Stupid Girlfriend be a thing now too!?

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  • RenΓ©e Liss

    “Whispermumbles.” Genius.