snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 16 – Like a ninja.

and on August 14, 2013 · 43 comments in Books,Fifty Shades,Fifty Shades Freed

Previously: Grey decided he wanted Ana to struggle more when he forced himself on her. Apparently, you can be too good a victim.

Lorraine: Last chapter’s curbhanger was the little reveal that Leila, also known as The Ghost of Submissives Past, has shown up and is waiting for Ana at reception with another woman. First, though,  female bodyguard Prescott (I’m not sure if we’ve ever mentioned her before) wants to talk to Ana. Prescott says that the GSP is on Ana’s list of “proscribed visitors.”

Think about this for one second. Ana’s husband has drafted up a list of people she is not allowed to see, and he’s done it without her knowledge. She has at least one security guard with her at all times, and they are instructed to make sure that certain people never see her. If this were for her “protection,” Grey would’ve been all, “hey, heads up. I’m not going to let my crazy ex-girlfriends near you. Cool?” Instead there is some mysterious list of proscribed visitors, that may include Ana’s mom, little old ladies, anyone with a penis, and police officers. You never know.

Sweeney: I have all the accompanying rage about everything just said, because fuck that shit forever, especially since Ana’s got no reaction beyond moderate surprise over the fact that this is a thing. BUT ALSO: I can think of half a dozen words, off the top of my head, that I’d put in place of “proscribed.” It’s possible that my rage is blinding me to the fact that I just don’t happen to know people who use this word, but I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s another American v. British language use failure.

Lor: Legit.

Anyway, Prescott admits that the only reason the GSP got this far is because she had to take a tinkle. This makes Ana laugh, because, pee pee is funny! Prescott tells Ana that she’s left a voice message for Taylor, so Grey will soon know what’s going on, meaning Ana only has a short amount of time to exercise her free will, and talk to whoever she wants to fucking talk to. Prescott advises against it, but gives in on the conditions that she search the women before they enter and that she remain in the room while they talk. All of this is going to happen in one of the conference rooms, by the way, which should really help Ana with that professionalism she’s always so worried about.

Christian is going to go nuts. My subconscious purses her lips, primly crosses her legs, and nods. I need to tell him that I am doing this. I type a quick e-mail, then pause, checking the time. I feel a momentary pang of regret. We’ve been getting along so well since Aspen.”

Gosh darn! You had like a whole week where you were getting along with your husband and now this and soon he will hate you again.

The email she sends to Grey says that she’s going to talk to the GSP with Prescott and that she’ll use her slapping skills if any bitches get out of line. If we briefly put aside the fact that Christian is an abusive, controlling asshole, why would Ana be willing to risk Grey’s unhappiness to see the woman who pulled a gun on her? Because. “Plot.”

Weirdly, Ana gets ready to see the GSP by pinching her cheeks to add some color and unbuttoning a button on her blouse.

Sweeney: You show that mentally damaged former abusive victim whose murderfuckable now! Ana also makes a point of leaving her Blackberry in her desk drawer, rather than taking it with her, cutting off Christian Grey’s all important lifeline to Ana. Again, because “plot.”

Lor: Leila (GSP) is looking much better. In fact, she’s downright attractive! Thanks, therapy. The woman with Leila is a brunette, and Ana guesses right away that she’s another ex-submissive. Before their conversation gets too far, Ana’s assistant interrupts because Grey has been blowing up all of the phones in a five mile radius. I’m making that up, but it could be true. Ana tells her assistant to tell Grey that she’s busy, and the two ex-subs stare at her in awe. It makes Ana uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable that fictional women exist who would be in awe of Ana’s “backbone.”

Sweeney: I was going to go with “ragey” rather than “uncomfortable,” but I see we’re a little early in the recap for that. Uncomfortable it is, then.

Lor: Susi, the other ex-sub, admits that she wanted to meet the woman who managed to hold down the cure for cancer. Susi lets slip that they call themselves “the sub club.” The Sub Club: keeping local liquor stores and therapists in business for years. Susi excuses herself after making sure that Leila will be okay.

We have another interruption, because now Grey calls Prescott’s phone. Ana takes the phone from Prescott and gets an ear full of Grey shouting, and seething. Ana tells him not to shout, and he shouts louder, so she says they’ll talk when he’s calmer and hangs up. I’d give her more credit for the backbone but (1) – LOL. I learned my lesson loooong ago, and she’ll certainly lose that credit very soon and (2) – this whole scene has such a show-off-y vibe, it makes me sick. I mean, Ana goes back into the meeting room and thinks, “Apparently, I handle him…”

Once they finally start talking, Leila apologizes for that whole thing where she pulled a gun on Ana. Leila says she wasn’t well, but that she’s feeling better, even though her doctor doesn’t know about this little visit. Leila admits that she was hoping to see Christian. Ana thinks about how not okay she is with Leila seeing Christian, but then just says that it’s up to Christian. Turns out, Leila didn’t actually come to ask Ana’s permission, just as a last resort, because Grey has already turned down her requests to see him.

Leila insists that she wants to see Grey to thank him for not sending her to prison and for funding her art lessons. Ana suspected he was, but surprisingly doesn’t feel any ill will toward Leila. For some reason, Leila takes this opportunity to list the men she’s loved in her life, and Grey is one of them. Ana and Leila start giggling over how easy to love Grey is and I’m so completely baffled by this scene. I JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING. Ana’s subconscious is reading Jane Eyre (crazy ex tries to kill new woman, see?) and I wish I could just go do that too.

Sweeney: Backing up just a step, right before she breaks out Jane Eyre (L. O. L.) she says this:

Mentally I run through all the classical literature I can think of that deals with unrequited love. Swallowing hard, I clutch the moral high ground.

That’s her reaction to, “You loved my husband!” She clutches the moral high ground…because she can think of some classical literature? I don’t even know what to say about this, but I felt we should throw that in there.

While I’m interrupting: it fucking kills me that Leila’s all, “MR. GREY DID SO MUCH FOR ME WITH THE THERAPY AND THE ART SCHOOL.” Uh, no, MR. GREY IS THE REASON YOU NEEDED THOSE THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE. HE FUCKING OWES YOU.

Lor: Both excellent points! I love that she mentally runs through this list of classical literature in a few seconds, confirming to us that Ana has in fact only read like 5 books.

Ana says Leila will get her chance to see Grey, because he’s surely running over to come see them at this very moment. Leila figured as much, and this was her plot all along. I’m torn between being angry because this is another, “SEE? If Ana would’ve just unquestioningly obeyed Grey, this wouldn’t have happened!” and being angry because I’m still reading this book. I guess I’m not really torn. I’m just both of those angrys at once.

Sweeney:  But sometimes it’s really hard to decide which of your angries you should focus on! It’s very difficult when your angries divide your attention this way.

Lor: I’m so happy I have you to understand me.

Leila mentions how happy Ana looked with Grey when she was breaking into their apartment and stalking them. I’m not sure why she felt the need to say that, but I guess she can say whatever she wants because her master plan worked and Christian has arrived.

“The menacing cool glint in his eyes reveals the truth- he’s emanating rage, though he hides it well.”

As he’s emitting all this rage, he’s also hiding it well. He’s scooping up his own rage out of the air, like a ninja.

Sweeney: Filing that awesome mental image away.

Lor: Grey fires Prescott on the spot, presumably for having a bladder and/or letting Ana exercise her free will. Ana tries to protest, but she isn’t exactly handling him now that he’s in easy murdering distance, is she? After barking and staring and being evil for a bit longer, Grey finally gets around to asking Leila why she wanted to see him, and apparently, she just wanted to make sure Grey was fine, but this time, creepily watching him from the shadows was out of the question, because she’s healed, see?

I’m fine. There, question answered. Now Taylor will run you to Sea-Tac so you can go back to the East Coast. And if you take one step west of the Mississippi, it’s all gone. Understand?”

I love when James’s shitty writing reminds me that I’m not paying enough attention. What’s gone? THE EAST COAST? SHIT. LEILA. STAY YOUR ASS IN PLACE. I LIVE ON THE EAST COAST AND I WANT IT NOT GONE.

Sweeney: I’m safe though. In fact, that’ll put me super close to the beach! But no, what’s gone is another human’s free will because Grey can buy that.

Lor: Leila makes a transition into awkward sub-dom and says that of course she’ll obey Grey, even when Ana tries to stick up for her. Then, Leila sadly says, “This is the Christian Grey I know.” Ana is stunned by this statement.

I can’t breathe. Was Christian like this with her all the time? Was he like this with me at first? I find it hard to remember.”

WOMEN OF LITTLE UNDERSTANDING, LOW SELF ESTEEM, AND SUCKY READING COMPREHENSION: Just because Ana doesn’t remember the abuse doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. FURTHERMORE, just because she doesn’t remember it, and because she can’t even recognize it anymore DOESN’T MEAN GREY HAS CHANGED.

Ana, you empty headed jizz-rag, Christian Grey is like that with you RIGHT NOW. He forbade Leila from crossing the Mississippi? He has a whole list of people he’s forbidden you from seeing, and that happened a few pages ago! He’s yelling and glaring at you just as much as he is yelling and glaring at Leila, in this same, God abandoned scene. He forbid you from going out in public, driving alone to work, wearing a bathing suit to a beach and riding a jet ski, all in this book alone.

Sweeney:

clap3

Lor: Leila gets permission to stay in town until her flight leaves the next day and then takes her leave. As soon as she’s gone, Ana tells Grey not to even think about being angry with her, and he accuses her of going back on her word not to defy him. Ana goes on a little rant about how she wasn’t defying him because she informed him of her actions, had Prescott search the women and remain in the room, and didn’t even know she had a honest-to-goodness proscribed list of visitors. Grey takes in all of these valid arguments, and decides if he can’t beat her, he’ll mock her. I swear to you, he starts trying to joke with her.

Ana’s not having it. She says he was super hard on Leila and he replies thusly:

“Anastasia,” he says as if to a child. “You don’t understand. Leila, Susannah-all of them-they were a pleasant, diverting pastime. But that’s all. You are the center of my universe. And the last time you two were in a room together, she had you at gunpoint. I don’t want her near you.”

UGH.

(1) – That entire thing is so condescending, I can’t even.

(2) – It’s really no wonder all of your exes came together to form a SUPPORT GROUP, if you consider them not as beings with thoughts and emotions and the ability to be TRAUMATIZED FOREVER, but as “diverting pastimes.” Mario Kart is a diverting pastime, asshole. Baseball. Stamp collecting. NOT PEOPLE.

(3) – Legit concern about Leila and the gun. For real. If a  month and a half later, the lady who had a psychotic episode was all, “hey, I’m totes better. Wanna meet? No my doctor doesn’t know. It’s fine!” I’d be all, “NO.”

(4) – BUT. Grey is an expert at removing himself from the equation. Leila had Ana at gunpoint… because Christian Grey is a dickbag. Like, more or less.

Sweeney: I’m too exhausted to find more applause gifs, but I just want you to picture me standing up in my room cheering you on.

Lor: I can see it clearly. Picture me dropping a mic, then.

Grey blahblahblahs about how he doesn’t want Ana tainted by his old life, but Ana takes the “taint me all you want!” position. Then, it becomes Ana’s mission to get Grey to admit that he cares about Leila. Guys, when was the last time I pulled the dictionary on my BFF ELJ?

“It’s painstakingly obvious that he cares.”

painstaking

It is diligently obvious that he cares! WEEEE!

Grey calls himself heartless instead and then declares the discussion over. He wants to go home, but remember that all. this. crap. has gone down at Ana’s job. I don’t know about you, but I’d be right outside the conference room with a random stack of papers, looking busy, but listening, laughing, and collecting collateral. The point is that Ana wants to get back to work, but of course Grey doesn’t want her to.

“Christian.” My voice is weary. “I’m tried of having the same argument with you.”
He frowns as if he doesn’t understand.
“You know,” I elucidate, “I do something you don’t like, and you think of some way to get back at me. Usually involving some of your kinky fuckery, which either mind-blowing or cruel.” I shrug, resigned. This is exhausting and confusing.

I CAN’T TAKE IT.

I THINK WHEN SHE’S SELF AWARE IT’S WORSE THAN WHEN SHE CAN’T REMEMBER THE ABUSE. (S: YUP.)

Grey’s all, “did you say mindblowing???” SHE DID GREY. AND SHE FOLLOWED IT UP WITH “CRUEL” AS IN, “THIS BOOK IS A SICK, CRUEL JOKE.”

Knowing that Ana has brought up the essence of their completely fucked in the ass relationship, Grey switches tactics to seduction. Ana recognizes that he’s trying to divert her and avoid the things he doesn’t want to discuss and her subconscious pipes up, “and you let him.”

Remember that abused women of the world: you let him.

Grey keeps insisting that they go home, and when Ana doesn’t budge, he threatens her with sex in the meeting room. I mean, he suggests it, but when Grey suggests sex, it might as well be a threat on account of he never takes no for an answer. Ana doesn’t want to have sex in the meeting room, not because she’s at work for sweet baby Jesus’s sake, but because Leila was just in the room, and that would be weird!

Sweeney: Another reminder of Ana’s totally excellent priorities.

Lor: Ana figures out that she just wants Grey to admit he still cares for Leila, because the thought that he could completely write her off is concerning. What if Ana ever steps over the line? Will Grey be as heartless to her? Ana’s forgetting that Leila did get art lessons and the whole East Coast in the divorce. Not bad, am I right?

Ana says no to going home and Grey says, “yes.” So, you know. They go home.

They have sex, in which Ana  is tied up with leather cuffs and then comes on command. After sex, Ana’s all, “…so you DO care about Leila, right?” because Ana loves discussing Grey’s emotionally damaged past right after sex. Grey admits that he does.

A section break takes us to a couple of emails that serve to tell us it’s three days later. Ana’s at work, reading her racy emails, when she gets a call from Josecob’s dad, Josecob Sr. He tells us that Ana’s dad, Ray, is in the hospital.

After this chapter, I might end up in the bed next to him. Pass the pain meds, Ray.

 

Whisper Count – 11
Murmur Count – 10

Favorite comment last post: New abusive Ken comes dressed in pants that hang off his hips in “that way” and a handy ball gag! Accessories sold separately and iclude pre-used butt plugs, high quality lube, and top of the line make up for covering any bruises society might be too judgemental to accept. They obviously don’t understand the depth and healing power of true love. Buy one for your daughters immediately! – wlreed

 

Next time: Is this another sub-plot that will resolve it self in a single chapter, and some how inspire Ana and Grey to have more redundant sex? Find out in Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 17!

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 20-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Sweeney (all posts)

I collect elaborate false eyelashes, panda gifs, and passport stamps. I earned my MA in Global Communications and watching too many YouTube videos. Reconciling my aversion to leaving the house/wearing pants with my deep desire to explore everything is my life's great struggle.





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  • behind blueiz

    Srsly guys, I just can’t wrap my head around this “fuckery.”

    The “sub club”? What the holy hell? So there is a whole group of mindless, spineless women who’d decided to get together and what? Share stories about butt-plugs, cooter balls, and all the great times no meant yes. I can picture it now, a group of unstable chicks, downing cocktails of Prozac and alcohol while deciding on the best way to see Gray again. Pissah.

    There is so not enough therapists, crayons for “art lessons” , nor the United States to go around.

    • Angi Black

      Also – the entire Sub Club would be willowly brunettes that look like the crack whore mom.

      • behind blueiz

        Probably, cause, you know, Grey likes women who resemble his mother. Sigmund Freud would have a field day with this asshole.

  • kellyasummers

    Are the murmur and whisper counts actually real or are you guys just throwing up random numbers?

    • http://www.sweeneysays.com Sweeney

      ACTUALLY REAL. We use the search tool on Calibre/Kindle (me/Lor) for each of those words and give you the actual number of times those words are used in each chapter.

    • http://www.sweeneysays.com Sweeney

      Just to drive this home, our Fifty Shades Darker “At A Glance” post has an infographic of how often those words (and other repeated favorites of ELJ’s) were used in FSD

      http://www.snarksquad.com/2013/04/fifty-shades-darker-at-a-glance.html

  • HoVis

    Great post, as always! 2 thoughts:

    1) Defending-British-English-once-again: I don’t think “proscribed” is any more a normal word here in the US. I think it was just EL James looking up “forbidden” in a thesaurus…

    2) So, Ana ran through “all of the classical literature” she could think of, did she? Livy, Pliny, Homer….? Nope, just another instance of EL James not knowing words. Austen etc is *classic* literature, classical is, well, stuff from the Classical period…

    • Alex

      I was just about to comment to say that I’m English and I had to look up ‘proscribed’ in the dictionary. Nope, definitely not a British thing.

  • Corinna

    So – the Sub Club? Sorry, but WHAT.THE.HELL?? Made me think of the Slug Club, though, which is bad, because I don’t want to associate awesome things with… this. Then I thought that You-Know-Who was in the Slug Club, so maybe he’ll show up and murder them all?
    “Was he like this with me before?” ANA. We talked about this. STOP THE STUPID QUESTIONS ALREADY.

    • http://thelatepartygirls.com Lorraine

      Do y’all remember the S Club? THERE AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN S CLUB PARTY. That’s a better, less bad association, which is probably not as fitting as the Slug Club, but comes with cheesy pop music.

      • jess lynch

        Reach (for the whips) !!!! Slug Club is so much more fitting,Professor Slughorn has almost the level of ego as CG!

  • Wilhelmina Upton

    OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE’S!!! (and then I deaddesked, I kid you not)

    • http://thelatepartygirls.com Lorraine

      I totally forced myself through this page. I was legit tempted to email Sweeney about taking a day off.

  • Izzygirl

    He fired Prescott??? Noooooooooooo!!!!
    But- maybe she’ll create a support group for all the security people Grey has fired over the years who failed to prevent interaction between his subs. They’ll meet somewhere west of the Mississippi, just in case…
    God, these books. I wonder what your ‘subconsciouses’ (is that the proper plural of subconcious?) do right before you plunge into a chapter. Do they curse you out, slam down a bottle of tequila, and fade gratefully into oblivion? Or are they reduced to mumbling in a corner, occasionally bursting into angry tears or fits of cackling laughter? *Sympathetic feels*

    • http://thelatepartygirls.com Lorraine

      YEP. Yes, and this entire group of fired security people should look into all sorts of wrongful termination or workplace harassment lawsuits. I’m pretty sure I’d work for Grey, just knowing he’d fire me sooner rather than later, and then ca-ching!

      “They’ll meet somewhere west of the Mississippi, just in case…” <– LOL.

      Thank you for the feels. Writing these is like a miracle, mostly because my brain pretty much quits after a few sentences. I have to beg it to form coherent sentences, not to mention be like witty, and funny and stuff. Le'sigh.

      ;)

    • Nicole von St Ange

      Prescott is my favourite character in this whole book.

      • Izzygirl

        Ditto.

  • http://pushcomestoshove.blogspot.com/ Reba

    If you are too stupid to recognize that your SO is treating you as dismissively as he treated his exes, especially when he is actively dismissing his ex at that very moment, then I have absolutely no idea how you even manage to dress and feed yourself. Oh, wait, she doesn’t, really. There is no word for how much I hate this series, this author, these characters, the people who made it a best seller. I need to make up a new word. Got it: this book is despicatonomically bad.

  • http://wildrosemarket.webs.com/ Kyasarin

    This chapter is definitely one of the worst in the whole trilogy. Ana recognizes that Grey is being abusive toward Leila, and wonders if he acts that way to her. But it’s only a fleeting thought. THE ANSWER IS YES. And jeeze woman, functional relationships and marriages are not supposed to be exhausting and/or confusing.

  • wlreed

    I was completely enraged by much of the chapter until I got to the comments sections. Then I got all flattered and giggly. I must say, getting favorite comment is like winning an award of some kind, but one I can accept in boxer shorts, so it’s even better. Seeing that made my week because all the comments are great.

    Lor, you continue to surpass yourself with insults. “Empty headed jizz-rag” is completely perfect. Going into my vocabulary. And was the word “tinkle” actually used in the book? How childish and degrading at the same time. Perfect for Ana, now that I think about it. And the Jon Stewart gif is so perfect I have no words. I join in the applause.

    • Sheryl Hart

      It is as if Lor could read my mind with this quote… “Ana, you empty headed jizz-rag, Christian Grey is like that with you RIGHT NOW.” I have had this thought on more than one occasion during these recaps.

  • Lil’kitty

    Results are in: someone sent FSG to the psychologists and they determined it to be a description of abuse, (as if we needed to be told): http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/la-sci-sn-fifty-shades-of-grey-sexual-emotional-abuse-20130812,0,2172778.story

    • Heather Bungard-Janney

      Oh thank GOD for this, it’s the best thing I’ve read all day.

  • Nicole von St Ange

    Sub Club rhymes you guys! It was meant to be!

    In my head cannon they all work for subway.

  • Jessica Blundon

    Why is Ana STUNNED by the fact that Leila says she knows Christian as an abusive asshole? HOW CAN SHE NOT KNOW THIS BY NOW? The whole series is supposedly about how she CHANGED him from an abusive asshole to a caring(?), supportive(!) husband. She’s the one who keeps talking about how changed and AMAZING he is now as opposed to when they first met.

    I don’t even know why I keep getting ragey about this book…

    (BTW, first time I’ve ever commented but I’ve been reading your posts since SVH and love them all! I used to snark Fifty Shades myself but when I finished doing the series, I found I still wasn’t done complaining about them so it’s nice to find like minded people!)

    • jess lynch

      There’s an article on Cosmo atm referring to the study done on FSoS basically saying,it wasn’t harmless. I’ve been raging at that the last few days!!!! Here’s the link!
      http://cosm.ag/6035Z4zT

      • Lil’kitty

        Argthhhhh!!!!! This did indeed make me ragey. How could anyone be so blind? And when did “okkkkaaay” become an argument after the age of ten? And her line that people “get off” on abuse, with no evidence whatsoever and in clear misunderstanding of the study that she patently didn’t read? (FUME)

        • jess lynch

          I have the study and haven’t had a chance to read it properly yet,but these idiots get me so ragey! And worrying that still some people out there fail to see the obvious abuse being peddle,makes me both angry and sad for humanity.

          • Jessica Blundon

            This article DOES make me ragey!

            It basically says “This woman is saying FS is an example of an abusive relationship. PFFFT! Whatevers, though, amiright!?”

            I mean, I realize that Cosmo has been recycling Fifty Fresh New Sex Tips since 1965 but they could at least try out a LITTLE research and proper journalism techniques. Why bring up an important topic such as the signs of domestic abuse and then be like “but some people like it kinky!” Clearly, this is not what the researcher was trying to argue against.

          • jess lynch

            Well,we could say the same for EL James’ research! But if you’re going to make an argument against a report on such an issue,the research needs to be a lot more than “okaaaayyyyy” and “some people like kink”. Of course some people like kink,nobody likes domestic abuse as a side helping with it. I just have problems with anyone who says they can’t see abuse here. I think it was on here that someone said someone from the NYT just picked a random supermarket fiction,stuck on stickers saying it was an NYT bestseller and it just went from there,it’s too hard to believe so many people could be stupid enough to not see it from the start!!

  • Alex

    Right. So, Christian’s ex shows up uninvited: a woman who previously declared her undying love for him before pulling a gun on Ana… oh, and then she was stripped naked and given a bath. Ana’s reaction is to take the moral highground and just smile sweetly.

    Whereas poor Gia the decorator shows up having been asked to come and do the job that she’s being paid to do and just happens to smile at Ana’s husband, and Ana decides to verbally bitch-slap her and accuse her of being a man-stealing whore.

    The saddest part of this is that I think E. L. James really thinks that both of these incidents make Ana a really great person: look at what a strong, independent, confident woman she’s become! No, scratch that, the saddest part is that I can think of way too many people who would probably agree with her and would in fact probably be whooping and cheering ‘you go girl!’ at both incidents.

    Kill me now.

  • Gemmy

    I’ve decided that its just easier to comment on your review than to actually talk about this worthless piece of garbage book. I mean your reviews are highly more enjoyable and actually give me hope about humankind instead of judging it.

    First off thank you for the Rock gif. I love him. I have no idea if this is true, but he seems like such a gentleman. A hot beefy muscled gentleman. I bet he has those type of hips for the magic pants.

    The ninja line killed me! I sat at my desk and giggled for 5 minutes straight. Then I had to muffle it since my boss actually pays attention to what I do at work.

    And then I giggled again when I pictured Lor dropping the mic. It’s just such a perfect way to end your rage fest. Lol

    Ok so I’m gonna comment on one part of the book. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t tend to bring up my husband’s exes after sex. Especially to ask if he still cares about them! WHAT?! Seriously who does that. Ugh

  • Clare

    As a British citizen I can confirm that proscribed isn’t part of our every day vocabulary. I
    think it’s once again a case that EL has used her thesaurus to prove
    that she knows words too!

  • Catherine

    So, did Prescott really get fired? Because that sucks. I’m gonna pretend that just as she was leaving she leaded her head back in the door and said, “You’re all fucking crazy as fuck. And your sex is way louder than you think it is. Peace”, and then she dropped the mic and walked out.

  • Regina

    Just came across this link that claims FSoG is actually about paedophilia. As indefensible as these books are, even I think that’s taking it a little too far. The author has come to this conclusion based on Ana having no sexual experience at the start and having the emotional maturity of a six year old, plus Lorraine and Sweeney have pointed out the many, many, many creepy references to children in the text, usually around sexy times, but Christian Grey is NOT a paedophile. His subs/victims are grown women. Also this is Twilight with the names changed, so there’s that.

    http://theulstermanreport.com/2012/08/16/50-shades-of-grey-pedophilia-hiding-in-plain-sight-letter-from-a-reader/

    • http://geekgirltravels.wordpress.com/ Fox MacLir

      I followed the link and read the article, and the follow-up, and the article they linked to, and one linked from that. And of course while it wasn’t necessarily done deliberately — since we all know this story is Twilight — the last article I read did a very good break-down of exactly how the coercive control Christian uses on Ana is the same as the steps used by other abusers of his ilk, and how those are the exact same steps typically used by pedophiles towards children as well. It was also pointed out in multiple articles that if you described Ana without mentioning college or her age, she sounds exactly like a child or very young teenager. They also mention that pedophilia is often a ‘passed-on’ trait, as the abused grow up and become an abuser; which happens to be the scenario of Mrs Rape to Christian to Ana. So I can see where the writer of the first article was coming from, especially since she works in the field of helping abused and molested children (making that a filter by which she’ll often see the world). And I think she’s less off than the people who defend this books (like, say, that Cosmo article).

      Two further points of my own:

      1): It is often addressed, even on this blog in the Buffy recaps, that the age difference between the brooding vampire and the teenage girl who falls in love with him makes it, if not pedophilia, then at the very least a little off. Without the age difference of a supernatural being, EL seems to have created the same power disparity by making Ana seem young for her age, and Christian repeatedly seem ‘older’ and far more experienced. This has the downside of making the abuse in the situation far more obvious, because it doesn’t have the mask of supernatural beings and their nature to hide behind. It’s just all humans being doing it to each other.

      2): Again, in all likelihood, this wasn’t done deliberately on EL’s part. Which makes it more scary in a way, because it demonstrates the insidiousness of rape culture, male entitlement, and abuse. The people who are reading this without understanding what’s going on are going to be the same people who don’t see it going on it real life. The women who leave comments in reviews about how nice it is to read about a ‘real man’ are actually telling other women to buy into the rape culture, etc. and telling men that it’s okay to be like that, that they SHOULD be like this, that it’s desirable. The facts that these books are so very dangerous, and that THE AUTHOR DID NOT AND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY AND HOW, and that not everyone is calling them out for what they are, is all very very alarming.

      • Regina

        Fair. I read this really late last night and didn’t read the follow-up articles. Ana definitely comes across more like a child than a twenty-one year old. While I don’t think E.L. James intended it to sound like paedophilia that doesn’t make it any better. I think it’s clear to any sane person she’s got some really messed up attitudes towards women, relationships and abuse. Also she’s a grown woman who writes Twilight fanfic.
        Talking about Twilight, let’s not forget about Renesmee and Jacob and her maturing at seven and the other guy imprinting on a two year old, because that was some seriously creepy shit.

        • http://geekgirltravels.wordpress.com/ Fox MacLir

          Ha, yeah, good point about Twilight. When you think too much (like, at all) about a lot of the supernatural creature love stories, they get very creepy and disturbing very very quickly…

          • Regina

            That’s nothing you can’t ruin by over-analysing it :)

  • Victoria Wade

    Proscribed… what is this, I don’t even…. GAAAAH!

    The above is not a Britishism, it is an E.L Jamesism – a sheer idiotic, “look at how intelligent I am!” , thesaraus RAPE.

    You know, I think it’s high time the powers that be invented a potion to make us all forget all about Fifty Shades of Grey…. failing that, there’s plenty of bleach under the kitchen sink.

    One of the things that really gets to me about this whole trilogy is the sheer pretentiousness – you can almost see James’ smug face looming above as you read about how Ana “tames” Mr. Grey, and “understands” classical literature, and oh God that forced purple prose…

    Compare this to J K Rowling, who has always been humble and down to earth about her success, and how her books are easy to read, since they feature, you know, actual CHARACTERS, acting like real human beings with emotions and lives and depth. E.L James’ shitty little fan fiction knock off wouldn’t know character development if it poked her in the eye with a riding crop.

    But then again, I guess I just don’t understand…. after all, I just don’t have a clear enough relationship with my boyfriend, as he hasn’t even had the decency to think up a nice list of people I can and can’t see, complete with allotted time slots and meeting rooms from the office job he got me!

    Eurgh…. brb, I suddenly feel an overwhelming shame of being British, and therefore in all probability sharing the same island as her, I have to go look up that potion….

    • behind blueiz

      A+++

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  • Stella Smith

    fifty shades movie

    I am awaiting for the releasing of Fifty shades Movie.I am excited for the 50 Shades Of Grey Movie. and I watch Ian Somerhalder’s work it is pretty awesome to see on the screen

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