Sweeney: WE FINISHED ANOTHER SEASON! It was a slow crawl to the finish line on this one partially because of real life stuff and also because this show where nothing happens inexplicably decided to have a 25 episode season. WHY? In last week’s finale post we rejoiced to learn a thing! Mona is A! Except actually we get to take two steps back because THERE’S A WHOLE A TEAM! And the mysterious alarm clock!
Remember last season when we complained about how impossible this show was to rank? Given how much nothing happens and how long it took us to slog through all that nothing (but, like, super pretty nothing!) we all agreed that there was simply no way we could rank this season. Some high and low moments for sure — Pedzra got punched! but then he and Aria had sex, so ew — but it all blurs together too much for a ranking.
As such, we’ve decided to give you the tweetable breakdown of the season: 25 episodes, each in 140 characters or less.
- “It’s Alive” – The Liars get sent to therapy. Unfortunately, A disrespects doctor/patient confidentiality.
- “The Goodbye Look” – Aria is punched in the boob, Mona & Hanna make up, Ezria grossly makes out in front of a school bus.
- “My Name Is Trouble” – Jackie Molina sniffs out pedophilia, Toby starts working for Jason, and the Marins start hooking up.
- “Blind Dates” – Ian’s dead again, but like for real, Hanna fights with Alison in her head, and Mike suspiciously turns down pancakes.
- “The Devil You Know” – Ian is buried and Em finds out his suicide note is fake. Hanna goes boss on Caleb’s foster mom.
- “Never Letting Go” – Ali’s mom makes the girls whear dead friend dresses in a fashion show. Loud & Wrong Syndrome is born.
- “Surface Tension” – Dinner at the Montgomery’s turns into a pedo-off between Jason and Ezra and (surprise) Garrett is revealed to be a sexual predator.
- “Save the Date” – Caleb is being followed, Emily is drugged by A, and the girls break into the morgue for Ali’s autopsy.
- “Picture This” – Emily learns she’s been drugged and Aria’s sexy dreams make us wish we had.
- “Touched by an A-ngel” – A upped their creepy factor when s/he gave Emily a massage. Trust us, it’s worse than it sounds.
- “I Must Confess” – Hanna drunk vomits on her stepmom’s wedding dress, Grandma Marin is weird but awesome, and Em mocks Blind!Jenna’s stick.
- “Over My Dead Body” – To save their therapist, the Liars give into A’s demands and then get arrested for being near or around a shovel.
- “The First Secret” – Halloween flashback magic. Ali gets upstaged by Jenna in their Lady Gaga costumes.
- “Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares” – EZRA GOT PUNCHED. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. BEST.
- “A Hot Piece of A” – Hanna throws a lakehouse party and Lucas rows her out into the middle of a lake because of reasons no one understands.
- “Let The Water Hold Me Down” – Age Appropriate Love Interest Holden betrays us and becomes the pedo-lationship accomplice.
- “Blond Leading the Blind” – The PLLs worry about their boyfriends. Hanna blends the plot, Spencer breaks up with Toby, and Ezria makes out as usual.
- “A Kiss Before Lying” – Alison used to wear a wig around town! That’s pretty much it besides implied lesbian sex.
- “The Naked Truth” – Rosewood High takes a page out of the Mean Girls book for town-group therapy. Spencer learns that Jason is her brother & Mona helps Emily.
- “Ctrl +A” – LOLPD take Caleb’s computer and Hanna has to hack it. Ali was blackmailing Papa Hastings because she’s the worst.
- “Breaking the Code” – The Liars discover Melissa was in A’s room the night of the murders, so Spencer gets drunk and kisses Wren.
- “Father Knows Best” – Father-Daughter Dance, in which Papa Fields is the best forever and Aria is declared the biggest liar.
- “Eye of the Beholder” – Ezra tells Byron he ain’t going anywhere. PLLs get new info from a pilot friend of Ali’s. Hanna rescues Jenna from a house fire.
- “If These Dolls Could Talk” – Ezra and Aria have sex after he’s fired. It’s almost as creepy as having to look at Jenna’s eyes now that she can see.
- “unmAsked” – Masquerade ball. Mona wore Joker makeup for her big A-reveal, but then she fell off a cliff.
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