The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Andersone
Release Date: January 2, 2014
Source: Purchased
Order: Powell’s || Amazon
In a nutshell: Haylee and her father Andy have lived their lives running from the memories that plague him after his time spent in the army. That is until Andy decides he wants to settle down in his old hometown so Haylee can graduate from a real school. Haylee struggles with school, struggles with managing her alcoholic and suffering from PTSD father, she struggles with her feelings for cute boy Finn, struggles with her memories of the past and she probably struggles with all her struggles too.
It’s a struggle bus.
We Judge Covers: It’s stark and cold and snow is the worst. I know you think that’s me letting my personal snow bias get in the way, but seeing as how Haylee’s life is kind of a hot mess, we can totally deduce that this is represented by the snow. Which is the worst.
The deep crack takes on a new meaning once you’ve finished read this book and, if it’s possible, makes the cover even sadder.
Finally, play spot the title. It’s those fuzzy words down at the bottom, hanging out in the snow. Want to know what’s important? LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON WROTE THIS BOOK. LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON EVERYONE.
Main Character: Haylee will be what makes or breaks this book for most readers. It’s especially jarring when you dive right into Haylee’s extremely cynical, incredibly dry and (sometimes overly) witty narration. It’s a YA quirky girl standard dialed up to 10. That said, Anderson can write, so there are brilliant moments and turns of phrases courtesy of Haylee that I loved.
Haylee is a little hard to relate to because she’s in a tough situation, but she also makes some stupid decisions. She shuts herself off and even while you get why, it’s sometimes hard to dedicate so much time to reading about someone who isn’t going anywhere. This is the story of Haylee just getting by within the ways she’s learned how to. For me personally, I was on the fence. I liked the story, and it came to us via Haylee, but she wasn’t necessarily my kind of character and never one I grew to love.
Love Interest: Finnegan Ramos. Hot, athletic, insanely patient with our pissy MC and tricked her into a first date, but like in the sweetest way that would be possible. I mean, I’d be pissed if I were tricked into a date, but I hear the kids like that kind of stuff, or something. It was a high school football game. That’s fine, right?
Finn was sufficiently sweet, and nicely imperfect, despite the rocking hot abs and his attraction to a girl who probably showered like 2 times throughout the span of the book.
Negligent Parents? Woof. Haylee’s mother died when she was young. Her caretaker (while her father was in Iraq) was an alcoholic and soon abandoned her in a way that isn’t entirely clear, since we learn the story in bits and pieces. Once her father is back, he takes to drinking, smoking and just about doing anything he can to escape his PTSD, except for seeking professional help. Everyone can see that Haylee is more worried about taking care of her father, than her father is about taking care of her.
But what is she supposed to do? And is he to blame when he’s suffering legit trauma? It’s a sticky situation that forms the very basis of our story.
Beyond that, we don’t actually meet any nice and responsible parents. Finn’s parents tear apart his life for a sibling. Haylee’s BFF’s parents are going through a messy divorce, and sticking their children right in the middle of it. This book is not a good look for parents.
1430: I’ve never read anything else by Halse Anderson, but my understanding is that she’s the queen of writing about Very Serious Things. She does so here, with dexterity. Haylee, as her narrator, lets her explore trauma and how it affects our memory, the past and how it encroaches on the present, the future and lack thereof. It was very touching in places.
#MEH: I finished this book and couldn’t quite pinpoint why I didn’t love it. In the end, I think perhaps it was an odd combination of an improper balance of introspective and plot driven. If this book wanted to mainly exist in Haylee’s head, that would’ve been okay. If this book wanted to come out of Haylee’s head and be driven by plot, that would’ve been okay. What we get is a unsatisfactory flop in the middle. Halse Anderson spends a lot of time laying out the scene and spelling out what Haylee thinks about it, but at the same time, she plants all these other plot strings. Trish, Haylee’s grandmother, Mike, Finn’s family life, Gracie and her family life, and essentially just what to do about her father. None of these things were dealt with in a meaningful way, so what you get is a story that drags through the middle, even when it’s dragging with pretty words.
I also have to mention that there were short little chapters in between that cut to Andy’s POV and talked a little bit about the war. Again, I was torn. I liked having some insight into what was going on in his head, but the story itself didn’t really need them.
Lastly, on the #meh train, I have no idea what was up with all these characters and not showering/brushing their teeth as some sort of show of emotional state. The number of times Haylee commented on people brushing their teeth was weird. That’s really neither here nor there.
The End: Rushed. Rushed, rushed, rushed, rushed, rushed. It’s like 3oo-some-ish pages of all this buildup that literally leads to a moment that lasts two sentences, cuts to black, picks up the last chapter with, “and this is how it all worked out! Thanks for stopping by.” Completely a disservice to the story.
Away Message Worthy Quote: Death rattles bone dice in her mouth, clicking them against her teeth. She spits them on the table and they roll.
We bet it all, throw everything on the line because the air is filled with bullets and grenades. We won’t hear the one that gets us, but it’s coming.
She tells us to show our hands.
We have never been so alive.
For Traumateers who love: LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON.
Final Grade: B+
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
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