The Traumaland Awards Ballot

HERE IT IS, DEAR READERS. If you’re unclear on what’s happening here, there’s a tiny bit more explanation (not much) and a few gifs on the original nominations post. It’s pretty basic: we’re reviewing 2013 on this blog. All the material we covered and all of our favorite (or most traumatizing) recurring themes. It’s up to you to vote and determine the winners.

The idea behind the two week delay between nominations/ballot was to give you all some opportunity to post about it, though there weren’t enough posts to warrant a separate roundup post. If you’re curious, though: Ashlea blogged about it, I vlogged, and we retweeted a few tweets about it. So there’s your expert commentary before you make your final decisions.

Or just get right to it:

Substitute Parent of the Year


Pedobear Award


The Sandy Cohen Eyebrows Award for Non-Negligent Parenting


Best Effing Dance


One Truly Traumatic Pairing (OTTP)


Most Tragic Magic Vagina


LOLPD Officer of the Year



Best Use of the Pretty White Virginal Dress


Best Punch or Slap to the Face


Pass The Brain Bleach Moment of the Year


The Baby Come Back Saddest Death Award


Best Use of a Flashback


Best Villain

Voting closes on Tuesday, January 28th and we’ll announce the winners that week! Happy voting, Traumateers!

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  • Democracy Diva

    Best Punch or Slap to the Face was by far the most difficult category. 1430s for all the bitchslaps!


    • Clément Polge

      Especially since there’s TWO involving Joffrey… I want to vote for both, MOAR JOFFREY BITCHSLAP PLZ

  • Kendra

    The toughest category for me was ‘Saddest Death.’ I ultimately chose Joyce over Tara because although I was probably more invested in Tara as a character, seeing the impact that Joyce dying had on everyone was incredibly draining.

    Also, I don’t care which punch/slap wins as long as it involves Joffrey (being on the receiving end). Least favorite fictional character…possibly ever.

    • I had to vote for Ned Stark, because that is one I DID NOT SEE COMING EVER. I was torn up about that shit for weeks. I quit watching the damn show because I was so devastated.

  • Nicole von St Ange

    I chose Ashley Marin over Keith Mars for the non-negligent parent award. Even though I LOVE Keith I can’t get over that he gives his daughter A LOT of slack, and even though Veronica is awesome and can handle it… that’s a lot of freedom for a teenager. If it was most awesome parent though, I would have chosen Keith.

    • Clément Polge

      I personally choose Ashley because they’re pretty equal in my mind, and I wanted PLL to have one award that wasn’t about pedo thing or LOLPD or brain bleach or..

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  • All the Pretty Little Liars characters lined up for the Pedobear award is killing me. That freaking show.

    • I died, too!!!

  • Wilhelmina Upton

    I loved Hanna slapping Jenna, that was a no brainer. As was The Mayor for best villain because he is freaking awesome.

  • Ashlea K.

    *just over here quietly flailing because I was mentioned in a Snark Squad post* Made my day 🙂

    • Wilhelmina Upton

      It really is an awesome feeling, isn’t it?

      • Ashlea K.

        I might have squealed out loud when I saw it.

        • Wilhelmina Upton

          I’ve been in your shoes. There is no shame in squealing in that moment!

  • It was definitely hard to pick just one thing to vote for in some of those categories…

    I really like this as part of the year-end wrap-up; it’s a fun idea, and a nice (or traumatic) way to remember what was covered in the last 12 months. ^_^

  • antiscian

    This was really fun, and a good way to think back to all the events (and trauma) that transpired. I really wanted to vote Buffy for Best White Dress because even The Master, he of so much evil, commented on it, but alas, that was too far back.
    I’d say one of the hardest was Best Villain, if only because “Best” can mean so many things: your personal favorite, most successful at being a villain, most entertaining, etc. Because I mean, damn, Tywin Lannister gets shit DONE as a bad guy, and A is freakin’ everywhere, but The Mayor just has so much class tied up in his evilness (not to mention his swanky sidekick Mr. Trick).
    Oh, and the way I chose Best Punch or Slap to the Face (my favorite category by far) was that Tyrion gets in two, AND it’s to someone who pretty much NO ONE ELSE would ever dare slap (except Cersei, and even then it’s kind of weak and way too late). Tyrion is a bad ass.

  • Carmenpoing

    I don’t even know Ashley Marin, but I voted for her as Best Substitute Parent because Giles lost himself all his substitute parent points in the last two seasons. I know it was an actor problem, but I’m still a terrible, bitter human being.

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  • Ronia

    So while Ian was Creepy McCreepson and I can never look at milk the same, I voted for Ezra as Pedobear because everyone on the show seems to think this relationship is ok and I still don’t understand why! (Refrained from writing in caps lock then, go me). So that, and my snarks during the show, is my form of rebellion.

    The best punch/slap was hard. While Ezra Punch is such a win, the Jenna slap must win on the execution (glasses flying off the face) and the delivery. The Ezra punch wasn’t as amazing as I hoped… mainly because it should have happened more than once. But we take what we can get!

  • april_d13

    “Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We shared a
    womb. We came into this world together, we belong together.”

    This is Cersei defending her incestuous relationship with her TWIN BROTHER. How is this not more traumatic than the rest of the nominees?! Guess this category is a “popularity” vote. *sigh*

    I do love seeing that Joffrey (who has the same father and uncle, BTW) being slapped is appreciated by the majority. All slapping and shaming him moments are priceless. 🙂

    • Clément Polge

      Well, as far as I’m concerned it wasn’t, because it involves two grown adults, both fully responsible, making decisions for themselves. I might find it gross, but traumatic ? Nope.

      The Anastasia / Grey on the other is two grown adults, one of them having the emotionnal maturity of a snail and the other one having deep-seated childhood trauma he’s expressing through his relationship to sex with his objects. And we’re supposed to find that romantic.

      The second one is much more traumatic to me, so it gets my vote.

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