Previously: The Fang Gang discovered the truth about Jasmine and headed to the sewers where they found a creepy beastie and a way to get to an alterna-world that might help them defeat Jasmine.
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Peace Out
Kirsti: We open to a deserted Los Angeles and the zoomy cameraman zooming all over the place. He zooms in on the city, then individual buildings, then pans underground and zooms some more in the sewer tunnels. The battle continues between the Fang Gang and the soldiers. Connor throws Wes across the room into a wall, and demands to know where Angel is. Segue Magic to the alterna-world. The creature close in on Angel, then cower away when he holds up the magic glow ball. He looks up to see a path leading to a temple-y looking thing and THIS WHOLE SCENE IS SO BADLY BLUE SCREENED THAT I JUST CAN’T EVEN. Thankfully, we’re thrown to the Electric Cellos.
Lorraine: But why does the blue orb keep the Clickety Demons away? WHY?
Sweeney: The list of things that don’t make sense is exhausting. I was explaining the bits that do make sense to me in the last post/comments and I felt ridiculous all the while. Like trying to glue together a shattered vase. Using glitter and LSD.
K: Pretty much exactly.
The contrivance is strong with this seasons… After the credits, we’re back in the sewers. The Fang Gang kneel on the ground, surrounded by soldiers. Connor walks up and down in front of them, rambling from the Big Book of Villain Gloating. He’s all “LOL, NICE PLAN” and “Now I have to kill you all” and “Now YOU’RE the ones who don’t belong.” Wes tells him that he has no idea what Jasmine is, and Connor raises his sword. One of the soldiers, in Jasmine’s voice, tells him to bring them to her. He reluctantly lowers his sword. Meanwhile, in the alterna-world, Angel is climbing the rockface towards the temple. Because, you know, taking the path would be too simple.
Sweeney: I know you already mentioned this, but SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY, these alterna-world shots are HILARIOUS. This is some of the finest Terrible Special Effects Team work we’ve seen in a while.
K: It really really is. It’s worse than the giant snake in Band Candy, and we all know that was an indescribable low point for the Terrible Special Effects Team.
Hyperion. Jasmine thanks a group of followers for their devotion. They leave as Connor leads the bloodied Fang Gang in the door. She mocks their pain, and Gunn sasses “Don’t get all gloaty,” at her because he reads our tags. She coldly says that she was talking about the pain of life without her. Lorne says sarcastically that losing perfect happiness and tranquility isn’t so bad, and Wes eyerolls at him. Jasmine demands to know where Angel is, and Wes sasses “You’re omniscient. You tell us.” Connor punches him in the face.
Jasmine tells Connor to back off, and Wes wants to know if she recognised the sewer beastie. She admits that she did, and that a few millennia ago, his world wasn’t that much different to ours – full of war and hatred. She made it better, and also helped out their evolution. Basically though, it was a test run for our world. She says that she knows where Angel is and that he’s wasting his time. Wes says that if that were the case, they’d already be dead. Jasmine calls out to a minion and asks her to get the news crews set up in the lobby. Wes realises that she’s about to beam her message to the entire planet (just imagine how fast it would have spread if Youtube had been a thing in 2003!) and Gunn tells Connor to stop her before it’s too late. He replies that she’ll bring everyone together. They tell him that she’s a monster and that Cordy’s blood was meant to show him what she really is. He turns to look at corpsified and gross Jasmine and says that she’s beautiful.
Lor: OH MY FUCKING GOD. HE’S WILLINGLY FOLLOWING THE MAGGOTY THING? HE CALLS IT BEAUTIFUL?
SHIT. Ugh. I don’t actually have words, just expletives and groans. BLECH.
K: Yup. Jasmine tells the soldiers to take the Fang Gang to their rooms and Wes tells her not to use euphemisms – they’re prisoners, bargaining chips to keep Angel quiet. After they’ve gone, Jasmine tells Connor that talking to the whole world will drain her strength, so she needs to eat a shit ton of people, and she’ll be incommunicado while she’s doing so. She wants him to guard the Fang Gang, and then mentions Angel. Connor wants to know what Angel’s looking for, and Jasmine replies “The unattainable.”
Insect Temple. Angel walks in to find a massive statue of Jasmine in an alcove. A voice offscreen says that he’s come a long way for no reason, but at least the trip back down will be fast. Conveniently, this voice is speaking English. Or there’s a TARDIS nearby… (L: Oooor Gina Torres used her down time teaching them English.. which was not invented yet. Never mind. TARDIS.) Anyway, a guy who looks like a reanimated mummy walks in, and introduces himself as the temple’s High Priest. Angel sasses at him that the temple is kind of empty, and the High Priest snaps that the weak have lost their faith waiting for Jasmine to return. She’ll return, he says, when she’s done with Angel’s world. Angel asks what her name is, and the High Priest laughs. Angel lifts him off the ground by the throat, demanding to know her name, but the High Priest replies “Fool. You can take away her power, but you’ve already lost…everything.”
Sweeney: That DOT DOT DOT was totally there, too. I bet it was in the script and everything.
K: I would bet my life savings (approximately $5) that you’re right.
Hyperion. Connor locks the Fang Gang in the basement cage and sends the soldiers away. He sits in a chair by the stairs, sword at the ready, as Lorne asks if Connor’s always seen Jasmine’s true mouldy look. He confirms that he has, and that appearance isn’t important to him on account of growing up in Quor’toth.
Lor: Ugh, fine. I don’t entirely buy that explanation given how EW EW EW he’s been about demons and magic and such because of Quor’toth. I just… ugh, it’s so sloppy. UGH.
Sweeney: That’s such an excellent point. I hadn’t even considered that fact. Think of how awful he was to Lorne and for a good long while. It’s super ridiculous that he’s all, “BUT I LOVE MAGGOT FACE ANYWAY!”
K: Every parent thinks their kid is beautiful? IDK, that’s literally all I got.
They ask what IS important to him, and Fred brings up Cordy, saying that she needs medical care. Connor insists that Cordy’s fine and that she’s been moved somewhere safe. Wes interrupts to ask what Jasmine eats. Connor insists that he doesn’t know, so the Fang Gang nut it out themselves – she eats people. Wes, with a pointed look at Connor, says that they have no way of knowing if Cordy’s safe. Connor looks concerned.
Insect Temple. Angel, still holding the High Priest off the ground, demands Jasmine’s true name. He refuses at first, then says that only the keeper of the name knows. Angel demands to know where the keeper is, and the high priest glances towards a corner. Angel looks over to see another beastie lurking there. The high priest conveniently informs him that only with its dying breath will it reveal the name. Angel drops the high priest and heads over to the keeper, which proves to be a linebacker-y looking demon with a club. Angel says they can do things the easy way or the hard way. The keeper growls at him through its sewn up lips and Angel smirks “Right. The hard way,” as we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Connor stalks into the room where Jasmine’s latest lunchtime treats are getting undressed. (L: Gina Torres keeps getting hungrier and hungrier…) (K: She’s the Very Hungry Caterpillar!) He pulls Jasmine to one side and asks where Cordy is. Jasmine replies that she’s out of harm’s way, right where she needs her. He looks increasingly panicky as he asks again where that is. “You think I ate her,” Jasmine smiles. He insists that he doesn’t, and she tells him that she couldn’t harm Cordy or him because they’re her parents. Excuse me while I vomit and locate the last of the brain bleach because APOCALYPSE NOWISH FLASHBACKS OF DOOM. She tells him that she had some of her followers move Cordy to a secure location and that she’s under constant guard. Just like, she reminds him, the Fang Gang should be. He looks sheepish and leaves.
Insect Temple. Angel fights the Keeper as the High Priest tells him there’s no point in fighting because his friends are probably dead by now. He trades blows with the Keeper as he replies that he’s fighting for his world because it needs him, even if it doesn’t know that it does. The High Priest says that’s not what he’s fighting for, and Angel throws the Keeper across the room, knocking him out. He confronts the High Priest, who says that he’s fighting for Connor. But it’s too late because he’s going to lose him just like he lost Cordy. The Keeper leaps up and attacks Angel from behind.
Lor: Here’s hoping that’s an official prophecy! I’m only a little bit kidding.
Sweeney: Can we vote him off the island? Is that an option?
K: Just you wait, Snows. Just you wait.
Hyperion. The lobby’s packed with journalists. Connor sniffs the air and walks through the crowd as reporters discuss how long it will be until the various timezones will be online. He sniffs a woman, and she spins around. He apologises, telling her that she smells like…and she interrupts that she read this was Cordelia’s favourite perfume. He keeps moving through the crowd, getting asked for a few words on how proud he is to be Jasmine’s father as he goes. He’s laconic.
He heads out into the garden, and confronts a couple of guys who are gathering jasmine flowers and discussing how the Lakers have disbanded in order to have more time to worship Jasmine. Okay, show. Whatever. Connor tells the guys that he needs to know where Cordy is, and they insist that they don’t know and to talk to Jasmine. He knocks one guy out and shoves the other against a pillar, saying that he can smell Cordy on them (EW). He threatens some more.
Insect Temple. The Keeper has Angel by the throat, holding him off the ground. The high priest asks why he puts in so much effort for Connor when it’s clearly never enough. Angel hisses that it’s clear the high priest never had kids. He breaks free and starts to fight the Keeper again. Connor, the high priest continues, shouldn’t exist and was only a vessel to get Jasmine into their world. Also, he’ll never love Angel. The Keeper swings a flaming torch, and Angel ducks. The Keeper hits the high priest instead, who slams into a spike-covered wall. (Not to be confused with a Spike-covered wall, which is the domain of fangirls the world over…) (L: Ew.) While Angel’s gloating, the Keeper grabs him and lifts him over his head.
Angelus Cage. Gunn kicks uselessly but repeatedly at the hinges on the door. Lorne begs him to stop because LOUD AND ANNOYING AND HEADACHE CAUSING. Fred wonders why Connor ran out and left them unguarded. Wes wonders why Cordy hasn’t just been killed to stop people like them from using her blood against Jasmine. He suggests that maybe Jasmine CAN’T hurt Cordy, and that maybe Cordy can, in some way, hurt Jasmine. Lorne says that they’ll need to wake her up, but Fred points out the slightly more problematic part – they’ll have to find her first.
Cut to a cathedral. The sign out the front reads “God is nowhere. Jasmine is the way!” Connor stares at the sign, then heads inside. It looks abandoned, but the entrance to the sanctuary has been boarded up. Two cops appear and tell him that he’s not allowed to be there – Jasmine’s orders. He throws them through the boarded up doors, then follows to knock them out. He looks up to see a shroud-covered figure lying on the altar. He heads up the central aisle towards it.
Hyperion. A green light floods the banquet room where Jasmine’s lunchtime treats were. The camera pans up to show us that the glow is coming from something with octopus-y legs which slowly – and squishily – turns into Jasmine. “Time for my close up,” she says as the green light fades and she rubs her belly. Fade to black.
Lor: Such a large meal before such an important moment! Hope she doesn’t get indigestion.
K: Having a growly stomach during a worldwide brainwashing session would be hella awkward…
After the Not Commercial Break, Connor stares down at Cordy, who’s draped in gauzy fabric. He sits down next to her. He thought, he says, that this – protecting Jasmine, their baby – was what she wanted. So the world can be a better place. Angel likes the world to be harsh and angry, because that gives him a reason to fight. Not him, he says. He’s tired of fighting, and he really wants to rest. He tears up as he tells Cordy that he tried to go with the flow, but it didn’t work. Because Jasmine doesn’t make things better for him. For everyone else, yes. But not for him. She’s just another lie, like everything in his life. He thought this one was better than the others, but it’s not.
Lor: I again want to feel for Connor, but I think my main hang-up, apart from this more sympathetic characterization coming SO late in the game, is the sloppy storyline that’s bolstering the Connor sympathies. I don’t buy Connor seeing Gina Torres as the “better lie” or thinking he could rest with her when she was using him as a military force. It doesn’t quite add up for me, though I’m sure some of you will over look these bits, or head canon them, to focus more on the feelsy bits.
I get that Connor just wants to be happy, but the fact that he thinks, for however long, that he could be happy next to Gina Torres does not at all endear me to his character.
Sweeney: Especially given her whole people-eating thing. His childhood trauma was that Holtz was the mega worst but trained him to hate anything demonic and believe in the superiority of the human race. Using that background as an excuse to devote himself to the maggot thing that eat people?
Again, if his struggle had been better played up front (like it should have) maybe things would be different.
K: I genuinely don’t know why they left this stuff until the last minute. I mean, I get that some of it is related to Cordy “leaving” him when Jasmine was “born.” But if you’re going to try and make him a sympathetic character, why would you make him a douchebag for like thirty six episodes in a row and THEN change your mind? Sigh. Still, at least he got to have a non-murdery emotion?
Seizure cut to the Hyperion. In the lobby, reporters speak to the camera about how fabulous Jasmine is. In a hallway upstairs, the guy Connor tackled in the garden insists that he needs to speak to Jasmine. She walks around the corner and he says that he was forced to tell where Cordy was. “Connor,” she says with a note of surprise. Her assistant reminds her about the press conference and she heads out onto the landing. People applaud and kneel as flashbulbs go off all over the place. She tells them to stand and that she’s come to them as a partner, not a god, so they can work together to make the world a better place.
Down in the Angelus Cage, the Fang Gang look up at the sound of the crowd cheering. “So, we’re alone. It’s just us now,” Gunn says. Upstairs, Jasmine opens the floor for questions. A reporter asks what they can do for her. She replies that they don’t have to do anything except love one another. And maybe build her a bigass temple. Blue lightning crackles in the middle of the crowd and they all step back in shock as a portal opens up. Angel steps through it, magic glow ball in one hand, the Keeper’s head in the other. Jasmine orders her followers to kill him, but he shakes the head and they all step back.
Angel pulls a knife and cuts the stitches holding its mouth shut. The Keeper utters the word, which is less word-like and more breath-like. Jasmine glows green, and suddenly everyone can see her true corpsified face. Panic and screaming ensues. Jasmine glows green again and manages to find some kind of mid-point between Gina Torres and Maggot Face. She begs people not to leave, claiming that it’s a lie. They leave anyway, despite her continued pleas. She looks for a way out, and Angel follows.
Angelus Cage. The Fang Gang wonder what all the ruckus is as Gunn continues to kick at the door. Just as Wes tells him to stop wasting his time, the door pops open. Gunn grins proudly.
Lor: Angelus can’t break out of the cage. Gunn gets it in a few kicks. WHY?
Sweeney: This gif accurately sums up the entire show.
K: It really does.
They rush out. Semi-Corpsified!Jasmine wanders the streets, which have abruptly returned to much the state they were in when the Beast blotted out the sun – people running and screaming, burning cars. Someone throws a bottle at her, which smashes on a wall. She closes her eyes and calls out to Connor. Cordelia Cathedral. Connor’s still sitting by Cordy when one of the cops sits up and speaks with Jasmine’s voice. She needs her father, she says. He runs out, no hesitation.
Jasmine walks down the middle of the road, cars passing her on both sides. From a few steps behind, Angel tells her that it’s over. He did what he had to do, he says. She tells him that there’s no right or wrong, only choices. She offered them paradise and they chose chaos. “Because I could. Because that’s what you took away from us – choice,” he says. She yells that free will hasn’t gotten them very far. He insists that free will is what makes people human. “You’re not human!” she yells. He replies that he’s working on it. She orders him to leave her alone, but he refuses. He’ll die, he says, before he lets her hurt anyone else.
She cries as she asks why he hates her so much. He runs through the list of Why Season 4 Sucked, ending with the fact that she eats people. She insists that he’s done the same, and that this is worse because now people will die of starvation and war and disease which wouldn’t have happened under her reign. She would have murdered thousands to save billions. He replies that the price was too high. Not to mention the implications of overpopulation and its impact on the environment… Anyway, he goes on to say that maybe she can still help them make the world a better place, even without her powers. She replies that she hasn’t lost all her powers, and punches Angel. He flies over the edge of the bridge and lands on a car. Fade to black.
Lor: THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS when you suddenly trust the Big Evil enough because it cried a few tears. Keep your distance the next time, Angel.
K: You’d think he’d know by now.
After the Not Commercial Break, Angel pulls himself up a little and tells the driver of the car to run. From the bridge, Jasmine says that he hasn’t even begun to pay, and throws a station wagon after him. He rolls off the car bonnet just in time. The station wagon crushes the car he’d been lying on and explodes into flames. He lies on the ground, a little dazed. Jasmine jumps off the bridge and stalks towards him. She says that maybe she can still make the world better, one body at a time. She punches him and he flies back, landing near some live electrical cables. She says that she sacrificed everything for them, she cared when the Powers That Be (Contriving) didn’t. He grabs the live cable and jabs her with it. She’s knocked back a few metres but is mostly unharmed.
“I was forged in the inferno of creation, vampire. Do you really think a little electricity would destroy me?” she says. He replies that it was worth a try as he punches her. She rolls with it, and throws him into a lamp post, which smashes. She drags him upright and reminds him of the prophecy that says he’ll be a major player in the apocalypse but not for which side. Thanks to him, she says, she has just enough power left to destroy mankind, and it’s all his fault. She drags him upright and kisses him. “Always the same, dad. I get a girl, you gotta make a play for her…” Connor says. Jasmine’s thrilled to see him.
Lor: EW, WHY. WHY WITH THE GRANDPA KISSING THE TECHNICAL GRANDDAUGHTER AND THEN THE DAD SHOWING UP TO SAY HIS DAD IS MAKING A PLAY FOR HIS DAUGHTER? WHY?
Sweeney:
K: I swear to God, this show just wants us to hate it.
Hyperion. In the lobby, the Fang Gang wonder why the hotel is suddenly deserted. Lorne checks the TV to find all the stations offline. Gunn finds the Keeper’s head, and they realise that Angel made it back. Wes heads towards the door, saying that they have to find Angel and Cordy before Jasmine does. He opens the door, and stops dead in his tracks. They all stare in shock.
In the street, Jasmine fondles Connor as Angel stares at them weakly. She tells Connor that Angel’s ruined everything but he can’t defeat both of them. She asks if he still loves her. “Yes,” he replies before PUNCHING HER SO HARD THAT HIS FIST GOES RIGHT THROUGH HER HEAD. WHAT THE FUCK. She crumples to the ground, dead, as Angel stares in horror.
Lor: Oh, did you blink just then? Because if you did, you missed the DAMN RESOLUTION TO THIS ENTIRE PLOT LINE IN ONE SECOND. IT WAS A PUNCH TO THE FACE. IT TOOK ONE SECOND.
Sweeney: That may well have been the most epic IN THE FACE punch ever when you combine it’s insta-murder with the insta-resolution to the Tripping Balls Plot.
K: Exactly.
Connor looks heartbroken. Angel calls Connor’s name and tells him that it’s over, but Connor runs off into the darkness.
Hyperion. The Fang Gang sit silently around the office. Angel stumbles through the front door, and they rush out to meet him. He’s thrilled to see them all alive. He starts to fill them in on what’s happened with Jasmine and Connor, and Wes keeps trying – and failing – to interrupt with important news. Angel says that he has a bad feeling that Connor’s given up and is going to do something, like… “End world peace?” Lilah says from the office doorway. Angel stares in shock. “Well, you already took care of that. Congratulations,” Lilah continues. Fade to black.
Sweeney: I spotted her name in the credits and got excited. This was well played because I had completely forgotten about that by the time she appeared.
K: I actually quite enjoyed this episode. While Angel in the Insect Temple dragged on too long, everything that happened once he got back to LA seemed well paced. The scene with Connor talking to an unconscious Cordy managed to give me a teeny tiny amount of Connor feels, and that ending was completely WTF worthy, even on rewatch. I do dearly wish that we’d been able to have the originally planned Jasmine death – in which Cordy wakes up and defeats her – but the death we got was so quick and brutal that it still managed to be shocking. It wasn’t like Glory, in which there has to be an incredibly intricate plan to force Ben to surface. It’s a single punch, and Connor’s reaction to it is so blank that it’s a great counterpoint to his emotional outbursts earlier in the episode. It would have been nice for the Fang Gang to have more to do, but we can’t have it all, can we? Onwards to the season finale!
Lor: I’m pretty much at the exact opposite place of where Kirsti is. It seems most of everyone else is just on the LA LA LA ENJOY IT FOR WHAT IT IS train and I’m over here going, “but guys! BUT GUYS!” To me it was awkwardly paced, flying by in moments that could’ve had more weight and tension, and slowing down in places the didn’t require it. The final death was TOO QUICK and not nearly brutal enough to give it a proper WTF moment of victory.
That all said, this episode was an improvement over the last two and they set up bits of the Connor story well, though I explained my issue with it earlier. The ending though, was nice. HELLO LILAH.
Sweeney: To be clear, “enjoy” is a complicated word. It’s bad. This is a bad show. I have no delusions about that. And you’re right to be frustrated because everything makes so little sense that it’s an insult to any amount of paying attention that you do as a viewer. In order to write recaps we have to do a whole lot of paying attention, so it makes that much more sense that you’re extra annoyed. Nothing makes any sense and it’s damn difficult to invest yourself in a story that cares so little for sense making. Nothing they do matters, full stop. That’s basically the point of the most recent reveal. So yes, it’s all mega bullshit.
But on the other hand, I’m definitely sitting over here going, “Well what nonsensical, bullshit thing will they do next?” And the last thing was make Lilah appear, so that was fun.
K: Absolutely. To clarify: when I say that I enjoyed this episode, I enjoyed it as far as episodes of Angel go. The show is still awful and at least 90% contrivance and filled with spectacularly awful writing. But at least it resolved something. And it gave us Lilah. So overall, I’m calling it a win.
Next time on Angel: Lilah has a pretty major offer for the Fang Gang. Find out what it is in S4 E22 – Home.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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