Previously: Helena goes after Rachel, but a moment of sister bonding with Sarah talks her off that ledge.
To Hound Nature in Her Wanderings
Lorraine: Clone Sister Camping! Camping is not a thing that I want to do ever, but I imagine that camping with your homicidal twin is a new level discomfort, care of nature and the outdoors. Helena, being humanized a little more every episode, shares her can of beans with Sarah and insists she has to eat something. Sarah notes that Cold River isn’t on a map. She wants to know where it is exactly, but Helena won’t tell her, because if Sarah knew, she’d leave Helena behind. Sarah doesn’t refute this. (S: Awkward.)
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn’t forthcoming. And just like that, the moment is over and Helena starts making shadow puppets.
And then further interrupted when we head outside to see Paul going through Sarah’s truck. This is not a regular sisterly camping trip, in case we forgot.
DNA and SCIENCE and NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
After the credits, the weird times roll on as Helena touches everything in the truck while Sarah drives. Helena admits that she’s never been on a roadtrip before. Probably because she killed all her clone-sisters before their relationship got to roadtripping level, you know? Helena switches the car radio on, and picks a station playing Sugar Sugar, much to Sarah’s dismay. Helena starts singing along, mangling the lyrics, but 50% of roadtripping is indeed signing badly to songs. Sarah asks her to please stop singing, but not with out some smiles and a few chuckles.
Sweeney: I assume this scene happened mostly for the fun of the production crew and as an audience member I thank them because it was fun over here too.
Lor: Making Crazy Science Lab. Delphine prepares Cosima’s arm to draw blood post-innoculation. Cosima exposits that Sarah’s afraid of getting sick now too. She wanted to tell Sarah about her sickness initially, but had hoped to couple it with some good news. Delphine bright-sides that if the results stay positive, it means they’ll move on to implantation. Implantation of what? Cosima has an answer for you, disguised as snark: Stem cells from the exfoliated dental pulp of baby teeth. In my uterus. That’s not invasive at all. I hope the invasion of the clones’ uteri is not a developing theme.
Sweeney: The TV Gods were all, “Oh, you don’t like Tragic Magic Vaginas? Weeeeelll how does a Tragic Magic Uterus sound?” Not an improvement, TV Gods.
Lor: Not even a little bit.
Delphine’s phone rings and Cosima answers it for her. Her smile falters, however, and she asks, “who?”
In the lobby, nerdy Lab Mate Scott is nervously waiting. Cosima’s all, “heeeeey… so what are you doing here?” Apparently, Dr. Leekie himself approved his application. Cosima looks at Delphine and asks if she knew about this. Delphine did. They need a sequencing tech and Cosima did say that Scott was the best. Cosima pulls Delphine aside and says they can’t involve him in this. Delphine points out that it’s a little late for that, since she already provided him with her sequence. Cosima is unconvinced, turns back to Scott, and says they aren’t hiring. As the ladies leave, Scott blurts out, “I know about the clones!” Delphine and Cosima looked shocked.
Rehab. It’s group therapy time and we catch the end of some dude’s speech about getting clean. Sassy Pants calls on Alison next, and she unsurprisingly doesn’t want to share. Sassy Pants insists. Alison says she’s there for her kids and sorry she ruined the play with her drinking. Sassy Pants says it isn’t about “sorry” but about taking responsibility for her actions. Alison smiles and says, “Well, I’m not actually a drunk, am I?” Oh, honey.
This is interrupted by a knock. Vic the Dick! peeks his head in. He’s late to group therapy because he was at a specialist, taking care of his wounded hand. Alison tries to look away from him, but there’s nowhere to go. Vic spots Alison and glares at her, though doesn’t immediately say anything.
Felix’s Frisky Flat that we probably jinxed because it’s not frisky 97% of the time. (S: WE’RE SO SORRY, FELIX.) Right now he’s drinking vodka straight out of the bottle, painting, and playing loud music. Art lets himself into the flat and when he turns the music off, Felix spins and launches himself at Art. When Felix registers that it’s Art, he tells him to piss off. Art says Sarah asked him to check in on Felix, which doesn’t do much in the way of taking the sting out of being framed for murder. Art tells Felix he’s had enough, meaning to drink, and Fee replies that seeing as he’s been demoted from babysitter to bargaining chip, he has had enough. (S: Rough.) He stumbles right into Art, who pushes Felix down onto the couch.
Group therapy is over and Alison tries to GTFO before Vic catches her. She is unsuccesful. Alison leads with a, “I’m not Sarah,” and Vic claims he’s figured that much out himself. She’s the one who maced him in a parking lot. LOL. Yeah, she is. (S: Memories!) Vic asks if they are twins and Alison honestly says that they are clones.
Sarah pulls up outside of a church, where Helena claims Papa Duncan was last seen. Sarah compares the church door to a picture of Papa Duncan standing outside of a door. They look the same. Helena unbuckles her seat belt but Sarah says she’s staying in the car. Sarah asks Helena to please stay put and not do anything. So, probably Helena’s going to get up and do lots of things. As Sarah goes inside the church, Sneaky Paul also arrives.
Sweeney: SPLITTING UP IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA, SARAH. Why don’t any of the people on TV ever watch any TV themselves?
Lor: In Sarah’s defense, at least, taking Helena places is tough. Like taking my two-year-old niece to the grocery store. That’s never fun.
Inside the church, Sarah takes in her surroundings, in particular some photos lined on a back wall. A woman approaches and asks if she can help. Sarah points out a building in one of the photos and says she’s seen it before. Church Lady says the building in question is the Cold River Institute. Church Lady is a bit curt as she asks what Sarah’s interest is in Cold River, since it was shut down in the 70’s. Sarah shows Church Lady the picture of Papa Duncan and CL recognizes him; “Mr. Peckham” visited the church a few times to go through the archives. Sarah wants to do the same, and when Church Lady hesitates, claims to be a student of Mr. Peckham’s working on her thesis.
Outside, Helena decides she’s over staying put, as anyone not named Sarah Manning would’ve guessed. She wanders into a bar. Paul watches her. Paul watches everything.
Making Crazy Science Lab. Scott is explaining how he used lots of science to figure out the clone thing. He asks to see a clone, which means he hasn’t entirely figured it out. Delphine and Cosima exchange looks. Delphine says they should take it one step at a time. Probably the first step should’ve been actually telling Cosima you were going to hire this dude, but Delphine skipped that step. So.
Sweeney: Delphine, this is the kind of shady shit that has me perpetually suspicious of you.
Lor: YOU Stay Put Bar. (S: A+) Helena has something like eight drinks lined up and the bartender brings her another. A big dude in an oddly puffy vest notes that Helena is starting early and should pace herself. “I’m on vacation,” she says simply. Mr. Puffy Vest Man invites her to join his group of friends who he claims are nicer than they look. Helena calls him a bad goat and bleats at him. That’s one way to handle unwanted human interaction. I’d have to use it sparingly, though, or else I’d just be bleating pretty much all day.
Mr. Puffy Vest Man is immediately insulted and calls Helena a skank, getting just a little too close to her for his own good, or for the good of the finger Helena grabs and twists back. He cries out and Helena tells him to quit being a baby. “I only sprain. Next one I break.” Do you see that restraint? Our little baby Crazy Clone is growing right up.
Patrick J. Adams steps in between Mr. Puffy Vest Man and Helena, telling Mr. PVM to take the not too subtle hint. Patrick J. Adams is on Suits, but also he was on one episode of Pretty Little Liars as Pedzra Fitz’s college friend. He’s also engaged to Troian Bellisario. He also really loves this show, and took to Twitter to get that ball rolling on the guest-star-thing:
— Patrick J Adams (@halfadams) June 27, 2013
Sweeney: That’s the best story ever.
Lor: Agreed. But also, I once Tweeted Nathan Fillion about how hard I would marry him and nothing’s happened yet. I also Tweet a lot about wanting to be rich and having lots of chocolate. Nothing yet on those fronts either, so I have to conclude Twitter is prejudiced against me.
ANYWAY, Jesse (Patrick Adams) orders a beer and some pork rinds, or basically, the exact recipe to worm into Helena’s heart. They make eyes at each other when Smarmy Hipster Cowboy Mark walks into the bar.
Church Lady leads Sarah into a basement where rows of boxes comprise the archives. She explains that they were brought to the church when Cold Water was closed down. She shows Sarah the 1910 and 1920 boxes, as that’s where Papa Duncan was looking around. She warns Sarah that what she’ll see in the arvhives won’t leave her. In addition to being very open to bringing Sarah to the basement, she’s also providing lots of great tonal and context cues. Thanks for being so helpful, Church Lady.
Sweeney: That’s a fun skill – being able to subtly allude to all the secret shit people are really coming to you for. I mean, it’s a skill only held by sidelined characters so pursue it at your own risk (or benefit, really, because sidelined characters get to go home and watch TV without pants on instead of wearing the same swamp ass leather pants for days while on the run.)
Visiting hours at rehab. Alison is upset because Donnie said he’d bring the kids, and hasn’t. He says it’s not a good idea until Alison starts taking rehab seriously. She snaps at that, saying she isn’t really the one who should have to be proving herself right now. Donnie thinks she’s threatening him again and gets up to go. Alison says she isn’t threatening, but also, if he shows up again without her kids, she’s going to cut off his “dangly balls.”
Vic sees the commotion and interrupts in a friendly manner, asking if everything is all good. Alison snaps at him too, but Vic just says some #deep thing about using anger on problems and not people, and assures Donnie that Alison is working harder than he would assume. Vic bows and leaves.
She keeps going through the pictures. They flash by quickly but I did a crap ton of rewinding and pausing: a nurse wearing a gas mask setting a pod-like thing in a crib; a nurse sans-gas mask pulling A BABY out of one of those pod-like things; a bunch of medical personnel crowded around an operating table; some pictures of brains with the caption, “criminal 41;” a picture of a baby with misshapen toes. The last picture makes Sarah close her eyes and look away.
Felix’s Frisky Flat. Felix is waking up and finds Art still hanging out there, now using one of his canvases as a makeshift evidence board. Art gives him coffee which is much appreciated. Art explains that he found lots of new evidence in Maggie Chen’s locker and he needs Felix’s help sorting through it.
Rehab School of Ballers. Vic is in a small gym, meditating. Alison interrupts him when she picks up a basketball and starts taking some shots with her one good arm. Felix startles, but then calmly stands and gathers his things. Alison knows all about “Vic the Dick” thanks to what she heard from Felix. Vic says that he did some bad things when he was in a lot of pain, but now he’s walking the path of the Buddha. Alison scoffs. Vic says she’s there for her children and she asks why else she would be there. It’s his turn to scoff a bit so she admits that she’s a “bottle hider.” She doesn’t get why she has to admit that to a bunch of losers, though. Vic says she doesn’t have to but as it turns out, those losers make the best listeners. Alison feels like she’s in a prison yard. Vic chuckles at that, sympathetically. Or maybe thinking, “oh honey. This is nothing like prison.” Either way, it appears our Alison has softened and she passes him the ball. He tries a lay-up and misses and Alison teases him lightly.
This… is weird.
Sweeney: VERY. Watching potential/actual love interests cycle through the clones is very, very weird.
Lor: Hiding From My Sestra Bar and Lounge. Helena is telling Jesse about her past, except it’s a mash up of the lives of all the clones: she was a police officer who shot many criminals (Beth), she was a scientist (Cosima), she was in rehab for drinking problems (Alison), and now she’s with her sestra (Sarah). Jesse loves her backstory and also her crazy roots, so he asks what a simple guy would have to do to get a girl like her to stick around. I hear she likes powdered doughnuts, friend. Helena goes with, “you’d have to be very strong.”
Cut to them arm-wrestling. Helena wins and laughs like a crazy person. Mark [Smarmy Hipster Cowboy] is watching from the bar. Paul sits next to him and compliments him on his super stealth spying skills, which sounds suspiciously like a pick-up line. (S: They do have some similar interests!) Mark guesses that the Dyad sent Paul after Sarah. Paul doesn’t confirm, but rather asks if Mark is waiting for Helena to drink herself stupid or for the bar to clear. Mark is just letting Helena have a good time. That’d be sweet if the rest of the sentiment weren’t, “before I kidnap her so we can implant her against her will.” Paul says Helena isn’t worth dying for and for the first time, Mark fully faces Paul. “Is yours?”
Sarah is still in the archives basement. She’s talking to Cosima on the phone while she loads the microfiche. We cut between the basement and the Making Crazy Science Lab. Cosima asks, as Sarah pulls up an article titled “THE PROGRESS OF EUGENIC STERILIZATION,” if good intentions and bad science sounds familiar at all. Sarah’s a little slow on the uptake, but Cosima is referencing Project Leda. “Cold River is the perfect ideological breeding ground for a nature/nurture cloning fiasco.” Sarah sighs as she says they did a shite job of breeding them. Cosima points out that science is what scientists do. They don’t have answers, they just poke at things with sticks. There’s a pregnant pause before Sarah asks if Cosima is going to be alright. We see Cosima force a bit of a smile as she assures her fellow clone that yes, she will be. The new stem cell match they are testing is “promising.” It’s nice that after opening up to Helena about her sister-feelings, we see Sarah here admitting to Cosima that she can’t do this thing without her. Cosima jokes that she’s the geek monkey. They both smile, and I swear I know they are the same actress, but also they’ve never looked more alike.
Lor: Sarah abruptly changes the subject: she just found a picture that proves that Papa Duncan was at Cold River.
Arm Wrestle Mania 2014. Helena beats Jesse again as she compliments his nice hat and nice red (or rat?) face. They take another shot and set up for another round but Crazy by Diana Salvatore starts playing and Jesse’s all, “A SONG CALLED CRAZY. WE GOTTA DANCE IT, CRAZY CLONE.” Something like that. They slow dance. (S: This was a little cheesier than I’ve come to expect from this show.) Back that the bar, Paul tells Mark to grab Helena and let him grab Sarah and then everyone will be happy. Except the viewing audience. They agree and we pan back to the slow dance, that turns into kissing, that turns into backing up onto the pool table.
Mr. Puffy Vest Man is not happy about this development. He pulls Jesse away from Helena, demanding to cut in. Was the sprained finger not enough? Apparently not because he now gets punched in the face with a pool ball, flipped onto the pool table and then clawed at by Helena. I’m pretty sure she’s poking out his eyes. (S: I am also just “pretty sure” – I looked away as soon as she was moving in that direction.) Paul sets down his drink and wishes Mark luck with his charge.
Sarah finds Church Lady and asks her about some missing files she noticed. “Pilfering,” Church Lady explains. Church Lady says it was probably the woman who came after Papa Duncan, Margaret. Sarah realizes she means Maggie Chen.
Back across the street, the cops have arrived and are taking Helena away in handcuffs while Jesse protests. Sarah exits the church in time to see them putting Helena in the patrol car. Mark surreptitiously grabs Jesse’s trucker hat from off the pool table.
Helena sits at the police station, handcuffed to a bench. A policewoman tells her the men from the bar aren’t pressing charges and she’ll be free to go soon. Also, her sister’s here. Helena looks up hopefully only to find Gracie there, and not Sarah. Gracie covers her mouth until the cop is gone, and as she lowers her hand, we can see how swollen it is from being sewn shut. You can see the puncture wounds lined all along her lips.
Sweeney: “IT HAPPENS!” says that laugh. Oh, Helena.
Lor: Helena correctly guesses that Pastor Broody Cowboy sewed Gracie’s mouth shut. Someone once did that to her. “It will heal,” she offers. Gracie asks her to come back to the Prolethans Who Heart Science ranch, but Helena wants to get back to her sestra. Gracie says Sarah isn’t coming for her, and Helena easily accepts that as the truth. Gracie says that they want to take her to her children. Helena whispers that they took her babies from inside of her. Gracie says Pastor Broody Cowboy made her eggs whole, because he sees something beautiful in Helena. “But you don’t?” Helena asks. Gracie flinches and non-answers that it doesn’t matter what she sees. Helena wants to know if they will put her babies back inside of her, like she was made. Gracie doesn’t quite understand until Helena points at her pelvis. Gracie says yes, just like that.
At this point, the cop comes back and says Helena is free to go. Helena follows Gracie to the reception area where Mark is waiting. Mark hands her Jesse’s hat and says he sent it for her. Helena tells them to take her to her babies and Mark smiles proudly at Gracie.
Sarah is speeding away from Not Cold River Church, asking Art via phone to check in on Helena. Satisfied that that’s enough (she really didn’t go after her sister…) (S: That bummed me out to watch.) she tells Art and Fee both about the missing files and about Papa Duncan using the name “Peckham.” Felix recognizes it immediately. He picks up a medical record for Andrew Peckham who died in 1943 at two years old. It appears Papa Duncan stole that identity and Sarah puts them on the job of tracking him down.
Making Crazy Science Lab. Delphine tells Scott it’s good to have him around and asks if he needs anything. He reminds Delphine that he signed his confidentiality agreement and then shares that Cosima had him running stem cell growth kinetics. He got curious, though, and wanted to see if Dyad tagged them the same way they tagged the clone cells. Long, science-y story short, the stem cells come from a relative of the clones. Like a daughter… So either the stem cells come from Kira or someone else. I don’t know which reveal gives me more exclamation points so here’s for both: !!!!! Delphine asks him not to share the results with Cos and he gives her A LOOK.
Sweeney: MORE !!!!!!!
Lor: Unlikely Allies Rehab Center. Alison chases Vic down and she asks him to help her make some place settings for family day. He smiles at her warmly and agrees to help.
Alison takes off and Vic goes outside to smoke. Except he takes a single puff from the cigarette and throws it out before climbing in the passenger’s side of a red car that should look familiar. It’s Deangelis. I wasn’t expecting that. (S: +1) Vic shares that he’s getting close to Alison and that he’ll tell the detective all the dirt in exchange for his charges being cleared. I’m not sure how he’s trusting Deangelis’s snarky, “MMHMM. OKAY.” in response, but alas.
Art located Andrew Peckhan and Sarah is just pulling up outside of his house. She knocks on the door and it’s answered by… SIOBHAN. WEARING A SKULLY. I wasn’t expecting that either. Siobhan, not the skully. She has a gun and there is a moment of them staring at each other before we cut to black.
After a break, we’re inside the house that is full of crap, Hoarders style, except it seems to be serving the purpose of blocking doors and windows. Sarah accuses Siobhan of being one of “them,” but she snaps that she isn’t; she just got caught in the same struggle Sarah’s in, except she’s been at it longer and is better at it. Sarah yells that she didn’t come here for Siobha’s shit; she came to find Papa Duncan. Siobhan corrects that his name is Peckham, and has been ever since he joined their side 20 years ago. They hid him in exchange for information about the experiments being done on unborn children and to help him find the surrogate who got away. Amelia. Carlton found Sarah in the foster system and Dyad has been after them ever since. Sarah says she doesn’t believe a word Siobhan says. A tea kettle whistles and when Sarah looks back to the kitchen, she sees a man walking around back there. It’s Papa Duncan.
Duncan doesn’t seem to notice the tea kettle or Sarah, and is more concerned with feeding his birds Bronwen and Roslyn. When he sees Sarah, he tries to guess who she is, and she offers, “Sarah Manning.” “Not Rachel?” he asks for extra confirmation. Not Rachel. Duncan looks at her quizzically, and when he catches himself says, “forgive me.” “I didn’t come here for that,” Sarah says. It’d take a lot longer than the five minutes Siobhan gives them, that’s for sure.
Sarah doesn’t know where to start so Duncan starts for her: he doesn’t know how many clones there are. They weren’t the only implementation team. It’s smart that they are keeping that plot point open for the future, but also crazy to imagine many more clones. Sarah wants to hear about Project Leda and the why behind it. From Duncan we learn that it started as looking for proof of a concept and they succeeded when they cloned human embryos. After that, an oversight committee declared them an ethical failure. Dyad swooped in all, “LOL. ETHICS.” and made it possible for them to continue their work to term. Sarah again asks why they did it. For babies. Specifically, for “little girls.”
Paul’s tracked Sarah to the Peckham house. Siobhan peers outside and sees him. She grabs her gun.
Back in the kitchen, Sarah tells Duncan they aren’t just a concept. They are a consequence. Duncan wants to know if Sarah’s met Rachel. She can’t keep her eye roll reaction in check as she says Duncan created a right monster. He protests, saying he loved Rachel and would like to see her again. Sarah asks why she would do that for him.
Outside, Siobhan is walking across the street to Paul’s truck. He freaks out and it’s hilarious. Man, I love Siobhan and I also like that she ruffles Paul. He gets his gun out but Siobhan walks up to him with a thermos in one hand and the other hand up in surrender. He lowers his window and she greets him with a slow, amused, “hello, Paul.”
In the car, Paul trains the gun on Siobhan. He asks if Sarah is in there with Duncan. S confirms and asks if he wants tea. She assures him that it’s just tea and just a conversation. Paul asks what they could have to talk about. “Well, your next move, of course,” she answers while pouring the tea. She says she’s also got biscuits in her pocket and… I’m not touching that. She offers him the tea and asks who sent him. “Dyad,” he says, which Siobhan thinks is a non-answer. “Dyad’s a hydra.” Paul doesn’t take the tea and Siobhan rolls her eye before drinking from the thermos directly. Paul is satisfied and takes the drink. It does look nippy out.
Siobhan says that if Sarah is caught between Rachel and Leekie, he must also be. He’s probably just answering to himself. Paul asks who Siobhan answers to. She smiles. “I’m their mom, aren’t I?” THEIR mom. THEIR. GUYS. THEIR. If Paul notices that, he lets it go, as Siobhan says that if he thinks he’s taking Sarah back, he’s going to have to kill her.
Sweeney: GOOD THING WE DON’T LET STUFF LIKE THAT GO. “THEIR.” (Sorry, we were doing excited shouting and I wanted to play too.)
Kitchen. Sarah wonders if Duncan’s family was ever real or just an experiment. He insists it was both. He was Rachel’s first monitor. Sarah wonders if he knows what Rachel’s become. Duncan says that isn’t the Dyad’s fault– it’s the Neolutionists inside the Dyad. A hydra, remember? So it all comes back to Dr. Leekie. Duncan gets nervous and clams up, but Sarah yells at him that this is her life. Rachel may be lost but there is housewife Alison and brilliant scientist Cosima and her. No mention of Helena because that would probably ruin her argument.
Duncan cries that he can’t help them, but Sarah says he has to. “Cosima is…unlike anybody I’ve ever met. And she’s sick. We’re sick. You’re little girls are dying. It can happen to Rachel too.” Duncan says that he tried to expose the whole experiment but Leekie found out. He trails off as Siobhan reenters the kitchen. She tells him to go ahead and tell her. “Who do you think I’ve been hiding from all these years? Aldous Leekie killed my Susan! He killed Rachel’s mother!”
Cut to black.
Next time: Cal has to move Kira and Sarah leaves Siobhan and Duncan to go after her daughter in Orphan Black S02 E07 – Knowledge of Causes, and Secret Motion of Things.