Previously: A really long time ago we watched an episode where Shitbag Montgomery took more of an interest in his daughter’s life and somehow managed to be a worse father for it. Also there was an academic competition with really fierce music.
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Misery Loves Company
Sweeney: After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I’m sick, I think, “at least there’s more time for TV!” #adult
Fun rock music plays us over to Toby in his A hoodie at A Team HQ where Mona tells him that they’re set for tomorrow. He says it’s too soon and that Spencer’s still lying to him about A – Mona respects how well Spencer can keep a secret. Mona can’t slow things down, though, because she’s not the one calling the shots. “Fear cuts deeper than a sword,” she says, and if this show were about 10 years older and I were watching it at 13, that totally would have been my AIM away message for at least a week. (L: A+) Mona says that they need to understand that she’s in charge and Toby will take care of it.
Sara: God, I hate pronouns in this show. USE A NAME, BITCH.
Sweeney: SHHH!
In his apartment, non-A Toby is looking at some architectural designs when Emily shows up with some coffee to thank him for letting her stay there. Her relevant-to-life reading assignment is Lord of the Flies which she appreciates because staying together no matter what is a super important life lesson that they learned from the previous year’s struggles with MonA. Toby asks Emily if Mona’s been bothering them and if she’d tell him if the stalkage started up again. She lies that all’s well with Mona and of course she’d tell. He heads off to Spencer’s and leaves her the keys. Emily calls Spencer to say that it worked – Toby’s headed to her place and she has the keys.
Marin Manor. Ashley’s asking Caleb for fashion advice. He’s lived in the same hoodie since middle school and thinks he’s totally unqualified for that. He suggests a dress but adds that she should try it on for him. Thank goodness for the cute Haleb scenes to counterbalance all the Toby-is-A-Team squick. Except I spoke too soon because as soon as she rounds the corner he has a shady conversation about Hanna and Mona. Hanna comes back in to call him on it and he lies that he was talking to his mom and switches gears to how Hanna should be super concerned about how Mona’s going to deal with being dumped by Hanna, given Mona’s history of using cars to run people off the road. They’re back on good terms, but we see Hanna linger when she leaves again.
Hastings House. Toby tries to make his creepiness up to us by showing off his abs as he gets out of the shower. It’s going a long way, Toby. (L: Mmmhmm. What hoodie?) (S: Heard that, girl.) It’s their anniversary, but Spencer can’t spend it with him because she’s got to go to some dinner for her father. She picks up his pants and everything falls out of the pockets, giving her an opportunity to assure us that she’s perfect at everything ever because she can sew too. It’s just a pocket with a hole in it, but her show-offy response is totally OK with me because it’s a brilliant callback to the first Halloween: “Three years ago I made an exact replica of Mary Queen of Scots’s execution dress.” She didn’t even have a pattern, guys. Their cuteness is cockblocked by the arrival of MariskaMom offering to help Spencer pick out her clothes for the dinner she’s obligated to go to for her shitty parents. I mean, cockblocking the teenage sex isn’t shitty, but her track record is. “Misery loves company,” she says. She still sucks, but here, have a star:
Toby awkwardly sees himself out. Once he closes the door MariskaMom asks how she did and runs to Spencer’s bed to gush with her about the big secret anniversary plans, which involve Spencer cooking a family lasagna recipe. She’s actually being a cute mom and I don’t know how to process what’s happening right now.
Lor: Best to ignore it.
Sweeney: Montgomery Manse. Aria’s still on the couch when she’s woken up by Meredith creeping around, even though it’s the middle of the day and she should be back at work except LOL nobody does class there anyway so it’s whatever. Aria doesn’t realize that’s what woke her up, though. She drinks more of the tea Meredith is force feeding her. She notices her phone is missing but just asks Meredith to have her mom call her and passes out again before she can properly notice how shifty Meredith is being about where Aria hid the pages.
Sara: She’s so obviously creepy, and it is hilarious. If this were any of the other girls, they probably would have figured out something weird was happening, but never Aria.
Sweeney: Rosewood High School For Sometimes Locating Your Friends. Paige and Emily are sitting at what looks like a full-fledged picnic, complete with a checkered tablecloth. Weird. Paige tells Emily that she’s taking her advice and actually talking to someone about all the legit trauma she’s experiencing. Good for you, Paige. Hanna interrupts because she needs some girl talk to sort out her boy trouble.
They sit a few tables over and Hanna explains that she heard Caleb talking to someone about Mona and arranging to meet up with them later. She needs Emily to tail him after school and Emily’s all, “How can we even know about tailing people!?” and it’s weird because while I can’t remember actual plots on this show well enough to give you an example, I’m pretty confident that’s a thing these girls have done at least half a dozen times by now.
Lor: I specifically remember Emily in a car following someone and by “specifically” I mean, “I don’t actually remember more than that.” But I remember SOMETHING like that, which counts for a lot considering I immediately forget 95% of what I watched immediately after an episode.
Sara: That’s just the way of Pretty Little Liars. I’ve never watched a show where the Previouslies were more important for understanding wtf is going on.
Sweeney: I always write my little “previously” blurb right before I start the episode and then watch the actual previouslies and find myself thinking, “Really? All those things happened? Huh.”
Hanna’s worried that Caleb is going to shut Mona down and get himself in danger and I think Emily’s big sigh is a big sigh of agreement.
Elsewhere, Meredith tells Piper Mom that Aria’s sick and needs her to check in. She sounds vaguely serial killer ish as she says that checking in on Aria was her pleasure because she’s a lovely girl. As Piper Mom walks on, she calls Aria and the music goes all DUN DUN DUN as we watch Meredith take out Aria’s phone and ignore the call from her mom. That music was inappropriately intense for the activity of ignoring a phone call.
Sara: For real, I ignore calls all. the. time. Totally not that big a deal.
Sweeney: Me too! Ignoring calls is so much better than answering calls.
After school, Emily is really bad at being sneaky. Mona clearly sees her, but doesn’t acknowledge and instead goes to take her place with the other kids on the Stole That Shit From Spencer Club. She spots Caleb get into his car and leave and she follows.
Music plays as Spencer bridges the PLL montage by adorably getting ready for her big secret date.
Hanna, meanwhile, is off for her big appointment. I wasn’t really paying attention, but I think it’s a job interview. Inside, there are a bunch of mannequins and no answer from the woman she’s there to meet. The lights go out and then an A Team member appears to run through the weird collection of mannequins and accidentally leave a key behind on their way out. This A sends her a text message promising that “Next time [she’ll] be left faceless.” That was really lame as A attacks go. Hanna had a car thrown at her one time and I’m supposed to buy her as being frazzled by a plastic mannequin? Whatever. She spots the key. It has a label that says “A” on it.
Lor: Way to be sneaky, A Team.
Sweeney: Downtown, Emily continues her poor attempts at stalking. She spots Caleb in the lone coffee shop where she works and gets a text from Spencer telling her that they need to talk ASAP as Hanna’s just gotten attacked. Emily walks away just a moment too soon to see that Paige is inside the coffee shop.
Paige thanks Caleb for meeting her and apologizes for him having to lie, since she knows that both of their significant others would freak if they knew they were doing this. Paige explains that she’s not really afraid for herself so much as Emily who has clearly reached a point where she’s numb to how dangerous everything is. Caleb says that while Mona must have someone on the girls at all times, there’s no way she can have everyone (as in, including them) covered at all times. “While the girls are sitting ducks, we just circle the pond.” They deduce that they’re looking for a trophy room of some sort.
Lor: This was weirdly self aware. Like the show recognizes that these girls do not at all take the danger they are in as seriously as they should. That makes me feel icky inside.
Sweeney: I didn’t want to dwell on it too much for exactly that reason, but yes, you’re right. Paige’s comment, in particular, got to me.
Also, I might be remembering wrong because I watched this at 3am, but I have a feeling that I omitted a bit about the zoomy cameraman trying to tell us something about Caleb at the end of this conversation. Maybe I imagined it.
Marin Manor. Spencer goes online to the store where Hanna was applying and says that the shop moved about a month ago. Womp. Hanna figures that this is just Mona fucking with her for dumping her. Spencer doesn’t really understand what the weird text message means, nor is she having Emily’s suggestion that they take the key to the cops to have them trace it because, you know, LOL going to the police and stuff. The girls decide that they’ve had enough, and Spencer gets it, but they need to include Aria in that decision. Spencer takes the key and says they’ll talk about it tomorrow. Emily good friends that Spencer needs to go have fun now and worry about the stalking tomorrow. Hanna adds that she’s heard guys like naked ladies. Pro tip!
Montgomery Manse. Aria’s still sleeping, but she’s made it up to her room. I should be more sympathetic to the actual bad thing that’s happening to Aria but I’m jealous of how much sleep it involves. Meredith comes in and starts poking around her stuff. Eventually she finds a secret hatch in Aria’s closet and retrieves the hollow doll of Ali’s stuff. As she’s leaving Aria wakes up and ask what she’s doing and it’s then that we see that it’s not Meredith but Ali! Aria’s all, “Is this real,” and Ali’s all, “Yeah, sure!” because how else would your drug-induced hallucination react. Or because Ali just likes to say weird shit when she creeps around all not actually dead and stuff. I suppose that’s the way to play it if you want everyone to keep on believing you’re dead when you go. Also, has Aria had one of these visits from Ali yet? Hanna in the hospital and Emily out in the middle of nowhere around the time Ian died. Is this Aria’s first go-round? Am I asking everyone to remember too much information about this show / Aria?
L: Yes. Not it.
Sara: Damn it. Um, yes, I think this is Aria’s first ghostly encounter? Is that a good enough answer?
L: WAIT. I FOUND THIS:
Sweeney: Ali creeps that she sees everything now and yes, that includes A. They all do, in fact, and she’s surprised Spencer hasn’t figured it out. Aria begs Ali to tell the truth about what happened with Byron. Ali says that she was desperate for the money and she never actually called Piper Mom because it was all just a threat. When Aria asks if Byron killed her she just says, “Do I look dead to you?” Ali also stops Aria from drinking more of the tea, adding that Meredith’s looking for the pages too. Ali shows herself out, leaving the doll, asking if Aria knows why Ali picked her. Aria shakes her head no, and in response Ali only winks and closes the door because that’s all any of the girls get in these fever dream visitations.
Sara: Ali’s fever dream persona is so much more likable than her flashback self, though, so I’ll take it!
Sweeney: So true.
When Aria wakes up again she notices that the doll is sitting where Ali left it. She goes to drink more tea but dumps it out instead. She goes to leave her room and finds that she has been locked in.
Downtown, Emily and Hanna are hanging out when they notice Meredith in a pharmacy arguing with the pharmacist about why she can’t refill a srsbsns prescription she just refilled a week ago. When she doesn’t get her way, she buys four boxes of antihistamines. (S: LOL. Shouldn’t there be a “We got a crazy bitch” button the pharmacist can push when this happens?) We get a quick shot of Aria trying to break out of her room before we see Hanna and Emily googling the drug Meredith was trying to buy to learn that it’s used to put people to sleep. In her room, Aria breaks a mirror and fashions a little handheld dual knife-mirror and gets back into bed.
Hastings House. Toby creeper pops his head around the corner and it’s both terrifying and hilarious. (S: SO HILARIOUS. I LAUGHED AND REWOUND AND LAUGHED AGAIN.) He took a break from work to bring her flowers since he won’t be seeing her that evening. I don’t understand how long these days are. It’s hours after school by this point! How does time work in Rosewood? Regardless, Toby brought her flowers during the never ending day. As she puts them in water he notices the A key on her counter. Spencer effortlessly lies about Melissa having left it there. He heads back to work, noting that the sky looks pretty dark and he might get to come home early.
Montgomery Manse. It is, in fact, storming and Aria wakes to Meredith standing over her holding the mirror knife. They quickly get on the same page about some stuff we know: Meredith has been drugging Aria because she didn’t want her to turn the pages over to the cops and Aria lied about the pages being a secret because the other PLLs already know. Lightning crashes and Meredith goes to the window, buying Aria time to run downstairs. (L: She’s in the middle of a showdown. Why would she be all, “oh, lightening! Let me check that out…”) (S: I HAVE NO IDEA. I tried to write that ambiguously in case it actually made sense to people paying closer attention, but I couldn’t figure out why she went to the window.) Meredith still manages to get the better of her while she tries to use the phone, surprising Aria and knocking her out with a blow to the head.
Sara: I bet Byron makes Aria apologize to Meredith for this, too.
Sweeney: Probably, because he’s the worst.
After a Not Break, Emily and Hanna are knocking on the door and calling out to Aria, but there’s no answer.
Spencer calls Toby to check in. He thinks he’ll be home before the worst of the storm hits.
Montgomery Manse. The girls find the key and show themselves in. The power’s out inside. They go up to Aria’s room to find it empty. Hanna calls Aria and finds Meredith creeping up behind them with Aria’s phone in her hand. Meredith says that Aria went down to the basement to get some lightbulbs but it’s been a while so they might want to check on her. As Gunn learned, that’s the most DON’T GO IN THERE of any basement scenario ever. Or maybe it was batteries? I forget. Anyway, the girls are idiots and go down the stairs first, allowing Meredith to lock the door behind them. They find Aria passed out at the bottom of the stairs.
Lor: I yelled at my TV when I saw them going down first. WHO DOES THAT? Is this show trying even less than usual?
Sweeney: After a Not Break, Aria’s awake and the girls try to figure out what to do. They hear Meredith walking back and forth upstairs. There’s a noise and Emily looks out the little window to see that it’s her dad returning. The girls aren’t sure if he’s in on it and Aria’s not sure what she believes now.
Upstairs, Meredith sits by the fire when Byron returns. Meredith explains that Aria knows everything – about the pages and where he went. He heads down into the basement, where the girls are all waiting with whatever makeshift weapons they could find. (Emily was going to try to break out the window but ran out of time – just so we all credit someone with using that thinking cap.) Byron says it’s not what they think…
Aliback! Alison reiterates that this is his last chance to save himself and he agrees and heads off all sadly. Given that he’d been chilling with his mistress that night, you get zilch for sympathy, Shitbag. They hear a noise and it’s Melissa stepping out to the back porch to talk on the phone. We hear her ask if she has to call 911 to get someone’s attention.
Back in the basement, he explains that he was prepared to tell the truth, but when Ali went missing, and the longer she stayed missing, the harder that got.
Hastings House. An A Team member breaks in. We see this person rummage through the drawer where Spencer put the A key earlier. Behind them Spencer asks if “this” is what they’re looking for, holding up the key. Toby looks up with a serious case of “OH SHIT” face.
Sara: OH SNAP. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS.
Sweeney: After a Not Break he gets slapped in the face by a teary-eyed Spencer. He asks how long she’s known and she shows him his fake Radley ID. I’m now realizing that we maybe saw this during the cute getting ready montage and I just didn’t notice because of how little I pay attention. I for sure for sure recall seeing the ID at some earlier point in this episode. (L: It was the montage.) Mariska Mom calls out to her and Spencer turns to look, giving Toby time to flee through the open door. Mariska Mom is confused but she hugs Spencer as she sobs.
Montgomery Manse. Aria sits on the couch by the fire as Byron says that he called the police and they’re searching Meredith’s apartment. Are you sure that’s wise for you, bro? She drugged a teenager so she for suresies deserves that, but she can definitely take you down with her if they find anything. Regardless, Aria – not warming to his halfassed apology – asks why he didn’t confess about this when he confessed to the affair. He says he knew how it would look. Aria tells him that she found an old diary of Ali’s and pulls the pages out of the doll, which she brought downstairs with her. Aria says that she wanted to talk to him but Meredith’s reaction scared her. Byron wants to know if there’s any part of her that still thinks he could have done that and she’s silent. He volunteers to go to the cops and Aria continues their insane pattern of losing evidence by THROWING THE PAGES INTO THE FIRE to prove that she believes him. Fuck.
Later, Spencer sits outside an apartment that I think is Toby’s. She tries to open the door but the key no longer works. We hear music playing inside. She cries and asks if he’ll please tell her that what she saw that night wasn’t real.
She sits on the ground by the door sobbing and we pan inside to Mona in her A gear, sitting down to the lovely dinner Spencer prepared. That fucking blows. End credits.
Sweeney: Agreed! I think part of my feeling that Spencer is the best one stems from the fact that Troian is far and away the best one. This was a good episode for her.
I watch this show with such half-focus for a recapper that most of the little twists in this episode still managed to get me! Well done, show! For the first time in basically forever I’m legit excited to watch the next one. Weird.
Next time: Ezra is back and learns that his child-girlfriend didn’t tell him about his actual child in Pretty Little Liars S03 E17 – Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Inferno.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
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