Previously: Lianne Mars came home from rehab.
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Sweeney: FINALE TIME, FRIENDS. It’s been a long haul to the finale, what with posting being only weekly and less, still, when you account for all the lateness, but HERE WE ARE. The big finish. We’ll talk a lot next time about how incredible this season of television is, when I attempt to rank a season in which I LOVE ALL 22 EPISODES. ALL OF THEM. For now, there’s still a mystery to wrap up, so let’s get to it.
We start with a reporter, sitting in his cubicle, incredulously listening to Keith’s theory that Abel Koontz couldn’t have killed Lilly because he was with Cheyenne, a call girl. The reporter says flat out (in front of this call girl) that this whole thing sounds far too tabloidy and would basically jeopardize his entire career. Cheyenne’s pretty happy to say, “Great! We tried! We’re done now!” but Keith’s adamant and hands over a file with a whole hell of a lot more proof.
We cut to him, a bit later, going through the mail (something really important and confidential has arrived!) as he walks toward the sound of his daughter laughing with his newly returned wife in their apartment. Inside, they have spoons in their mouths as they dice onions.
They’re making tacos, we learn, as Lianne corrects Keith’s music choice. He sighs and Veronica laughs at all this delightful WE’RE A FAMILY AGAIN nostalgia, because old Lianne, always insisting on the music matching the meal – “It’s called setting a mood!” Veronica, reminding us that however jaded she is, she’s still 17, eats it up, eager to pretend the last year never happened. Keith participates, but we can tell that it’s all a bit strained. All the more so, when Lianne awkwardly references wine, which she can no longer drink.
Lorraine: I’m cringing this whole scene. It’s well acted by all involved so there are lots of smiles and giggles, but the tension is still thick. Awkward, from the strained smiles to Lianne toasting with her water bottle. I feel for them all, but especially Keith.
Democracy Diva: Agreed. Veronica’s total and complete bliss made this scene even harder to watch, because it felt like Lianne was faking it to seem like the perfect mom, and Keith was barely even playing along. But like Sweeney said, it was a much-needed reminder that she’s still just a kid who wants her family to be together no matter what.
Sweeney: Not to cheapen this moment with the comparison, but it’s relevant: this is the second time this week we’ve seen teenagers eagerly ignoring the signs because ignorance is truly bliss in this scenario. Even if it
Mars Investigations. Keith sits at his desk and opens that important confidential email address. It’s DNA test results, and it’s not plot relevant for us to get that big reveal yet. (L: Rude.) Cliff McCormack is playing the role of info block in this scene, because everybody loves Cliff so much that we can’t even be mad. He sasses in that surely Keith is fucking kidding about wanting to sue the Kane family, but Keith assures him that they’ll settle.
Cut to someone reading the newspaper, which contains a frontpage story headlined: “Eyewitness Steps Forward: Escort claims she was with Koontz at the time of Kane murder.” That someone is Dick Cassablanacas. His little brother Beaver his panicking because this news of phone records is serious stuff, but Dick says they need to chill out because they all vowed to take some secret to the grave. Dick is a fun useless throwaway character who only acquires a real personality later on, but I like that they imbued him with loyalty early on, however accidental and plot servicing it probably was. It turns out to be consistent.
Diva: To the Snow, this didn’t read as “loyalty” so much as “probable cause that Dick and his brother are MURDERERS,” but that’s just because I don’t know the future.
Sweeney: Elsewhere in the halls of Neptune, Wallace is eagerly reading the part about what an unappreciated badass Keith is to Veronica. Wallace says that if it were him he’d be “I told you soing” all over Neptune. She’s loving this too. It’s a really good time to be Veronica Mars which is how we all know that it’s actually four seconds away from being a really bad time to be Veronica Mars.
Lor: Everyone, quick, pause and enjoy the smiles!
Sweeney: She sees one of those potential reasons walking through the halls – Logan. She once again skipped out on him, after discovering the creepy cameras in the pool house, and is pretty set on avoiding him for as long as possible, so she grabs Wallace and runs in the girl’s bathroom, destroying his fantasy of a blonde pulling him into the girl’s room. She, of course, needs a favor. She has Wallace stand outside to let her know when Logan’s gone. She doesn’t listen to or answer his very valid question of, “How long do you think you can avoid him?”
Mars Investigations. Mama Fennel is in the middle of getting dumped by Keith Mars, best dad ever. He can’t pass up this chance to keep his family together, in spite of his feelings for her. Alicia asks if it’s really what he wants, and he doesn’t answer because that’s a loaded question. Alicia tears up and leaves just as Veronica returns. Keith tells Veronica that he just had to tell Alicia that his situation has changed, ever the protective father, shielding her from his own feelings. They hug and Keith continues to rack up eyebrows.
At the Kane Mansion of Murder Cover-Ups & Cheating P.I.s, Jake and Celeste discuss a fancy dinner and we learn that they’re apparently not Republicans. This news still surprises me and is the only thing I gleaned from this conversation. (D: I call bullshit. The Kanes have a lot of money but aren’t celebrities; the laws of science require them to be Republican.) Duncan comes in with the paper demanding to talk about this Abel Koontz thing, and his parents basically gloss over it all like it’s nothing. Duncan demands that they tell him the truth and stop treating him like a child. Jake asks if Duncan really wants to know everything and Celeste interjects, trying to stop him. But this is the finale, so we have a lot of flashbacks to get through and you can’t stop this information from flowing! The everything: “You did it, son. You had a fit – you killed you sister.”
Diva: NOOOOOOO! Because a) that’s just the saddest, b) we won’t feel satisfied by locking up Lilly’s murderer forever, because it’s DUNCAN and it was an accident, and c) this is not nearly surprising enough for a full-season lead-up because there were so many hints that it was Duncan!
Sweeney: LILLYBACK. This one picks up right after Veronica’s speculation about Duncan-as-murderer. His parents come home and call out to him in the back yard only to realize that he’s cradling his sister and has her blood all over his face. SHIT. I often forget about this scene and while I don’t know if I’ll ever really come around to any good feelings on the Kanes, one of the things that show never really gets into – in part because of its quest to keep everyone forever on the suspect list – is how fucking traumatizing this moment had to have been for them. This is the kind of shit your nightmares have nightmares about.
Lor: I too forgot the face covered in blood, and the rocking back and forth. Legit creepiness. Plus, living with the surviving child who killed your other child? ROUGH.
Sweeney: But, of course, I spoke too soon, because after that bomb was dropped, the doorbell rings and we continue this rather flat characterization (which I don’t fault the show the show for too much because there are a whole lot of more prominent, better developed characters) with Celeste nonchalantly leaving this conversation to answer the door. Jake tries to assure Duncan that they knew it was an accident and everything they did was for him. As Duncan cries onto his father’s shoulder, Celeste returns to announce that Keith Mars is suing them and they’ve been SERVED.
Or, like, actually legally served with papers for a lawsuit or whatever. IDK, man – that’s not my department. (L: A+) (D: Legal department speaking. Yes, that is what happened. Can I have a bunch of money now please?)
Neptune High School for Dimly Lit Empty Classrooms Just In Time For Big Finale Reveals. V’s alone in the journalism room when Beaver comes in. He awkwardly corrects that his name is Cassidy and he has something important to tell her about Lilly. (D: I’m glad he insisted that Veronica use his real name, because no information could possibly be taken seriously when it comes from someone called Beaver.) He mentions the surf trip in Mexico that Logan and the Brogans were on, which Veronica was already aware of. What she didn’t know – the TO THE GRAVE! secret – is that Logan got up early and drove home to see Lilly the day she was murdered. Things continue to look not good for LoVe.
Lor: It colors the TO THE GRAVE! reveal because at first you think, “oh no! What did Dick and Beaver do?” you know, because they kind of suck. But in reality, and going back to what you said, their secret was covering up for Logan, probably because of loyalty. Makes you wonder if they think he did it.
Diva: I absolutely got the impression that they thought Logan did it, because of the TO THE GRAVE!iness of the secret. They knew he was back in Neptune at the right time, and lying to everyone about when he got back, and they had no reason to think anyone else would have killed her, not knowing about Duncan’s rage black-outs. I guess this still counts as loyalty, but not in a good way. Just in an obstruction of justice way.
Sweeney: Mars Investigations. Veronica has just finished revealing this news to her father, adding that Cassidy mentioned that Logan bought Lilly a shot glass that said, “I Got Baked in Encinada.” Keith asks if Veronica’s doing all right. She’s processing, but he interrupts because he has a revelation. Cut to a bit later when Keith is digging through files to confirm that the shot glass was, indeed, in Lilly’s car. Keith’s excitement at a new case development blinds him a little to how hard this is hitting Veronica. Garbage’s “Bad Boyfriend” plays in the background as she confirms that this means that Logan did, indeed, find Lilly. (D: Excellent song choice is excellent. Kudos, show.) (S: YES. I love the music on this show, in general, but THIS is some A+ soundtrack selection.)
Bad Boyfriend continues as we cut to Veronica back at Neptune High in its conspicuously empty halls, save for her and Logan.
Lor: She sees him, there is a pause, and she puts on this smile and really, “puts on” is the only way to describe it because you see Veronica getting ready to act. Kirsten Bell is acting Veronica who is getting ready to act. TALENT.
Sweeney: With that game face in place, Veronica confesses that she had been avoiding him, but lies about why, saying that it was just because they were crossing into something while she was coping with the stress of the night and her guilt about Duncan and Lilly. Logan says he gets it, but just wants to be clued in. He’s also spooked, especially with the Abel Koontz thing and what they know about Duncan – “I just have this feeling that things are gonna get really bad.” It’s only 10.5 minutes into the episode, so your intuition is strong, friend! Veronica takes Logan up on his offer and confirms that she needs to “do whatever” at this moment and will then get as close to back to normal as she can get.
Once he leaves, she calls her dad, saying that she ran into Logan – she couldn’t help it – and he just tried to pin it on Duncan. Keith says that border patrol has Logan entering at 7am, verifying Cassidy’s story. Veronica gets very explicit, adding, “He had plenty of time to get back to Neptune and kill her.” OF COURSE, because we need plot and stuff, Weevil happened to be lurking in the completely empty classroom eavesdropping. I can come up with no non-stalkery reasons for him to have been there. Veronica tries to say it wasn’t what it sounded like. “It sounded a lot like Logan killed Lilly. These rich boys think they can get away with anything, don’t they?”
And as Weevil walks off, I’ll hand this big mess of finale twists over to Lorraine.
Lorraine: I was really worried about Veronica making that call right in the hallway, but because I expected Logan to turn back around and be all, “hey, dude, I’m still right here.” But alas! Weevil in an empty classroom! Kind of sloppy to have three main characters hanging out in an empty school, but it’s finale time. Whatever.
Keith and Cliff sit opposite Celeste and her lawyer in a, um, settlement meeting. (Not my department either.) (D: It’s probably arbitration or mediation. That will be $10,000, please!) Cliff pretty much says what Diva Esq. said in the last post – that Celeste made a deal with Veronica, but Keith, licensed and professional PI, found Duncan. Celeste says she’ll cut a check on the condition that Veronica relinquished any future claim on the Kane estate. Cliff is confused and intercepts the contract Kane Lawyer is handing Keith asking, “so what? She slips and falls outside Kane Enterprises– tough toenails?” LOL. I love Cliff.
Keith and Celeste pretty much ignore him and he says it’s a good time to protect their assets now that the Abel Koontz thing is blowing up. Celeste says she’s sure he’ll encourage his daughter to do the right thing. Keith is willing to make this deal, but because he’s a damn good human being, he says this is Veronica’s decision to make once he figures out how to explain it to her. Celeste isn’t buying that, because she damn well knows that Veronica knows why she’d be asked to sign that. Cliff is stumped.
Sweeney: In my head canon Cliff puts it together, but it is such an odd little moment. We, the viewers, have been in on this secret for ages, and it’s concurrently refreshing to see it put out in the open and also somewhat odd to see that there’s somebody (most people, in fact) oblivious to this piece of information. I get why, obviously, but it’s still sort of strange to see.
Lor: Mars Investigations. Keith is intensely staring at the contract when Veronica walks in. She jokes but he has serious dad face on. He asks her to sit and explains that he met with Celeste and she agreed to pay up if she signed the contract to waive her claim on the Kane fortune. Veronica quickly picks up a pen and signs and then levels a loving look at her dad. I already have tears starting. Keith asks if she knows what she just signed away. Veronica looks down and says she doesn’t want a thing from them. Keith is crying now too as he says she didn’t sign away a thing. He digs out the results of the DNA test and tells her he is without a doubt her father. Veronica hugs him and they happy cry and I FEELS CRY.
Sweeney: YES YES YES. THIS is why the shipper stuff on this show is whatever to me, because OBVIOUSLY the father/daughter relationship between Kieth and Veronica is INFINITY TIMES GREATER than all other relationships on this show and 99% of all the relationships on all the shows.
Lor: Keith says all that charm isn’t learned behavior, but genetics. Veronica wants to celebrate but Keith was acutally thinking he would suck all of the joy from this moment and remind Veronica her boyfriend might be a killer. Keith says they have enough information to go to the authorities.
Sheriff Lamb and two of his deputies are at the Echoll’s mansion with a warrant to search Logan’s room. Lamb instructs the deputies to search the vents, so we’re real clear who is responsible for getting this ball rolling. He tells Aaron that all the cool kids hide stuff in vents these days.
At Neptune High for Everyone Who Hasn’t Just Learned Who Their Father Is, Logan is walking to his car and we see Weevil is waiting for him. He follows behind Logan for a while and gets ready to attack with a lead pipe, but stops short when two more deputies come from behind a school bus to escort Logan to the station. We cut there, where Lamb has Logan in an interrogation room. He asks Logan questions which he cheekily ignores.
He asks for his one phone call and when Lamb relents, he steps into the corner and calls Veronica! SHIT. (D: My heart absolutely broke for Logan at this moment.) He asks her, trying his best to be cool and collected, to track down his father and work the “Veronica magic” that gets people out of these things. Lamb looks like he could piss himself, he’s so excited about this. As soon as Logan hangs up, Lamb of course tells him that Veronica is the one who came to the police with information about him. Logan is crushed.
Later, Keith calls Lamb to find out what happened with Logan. Lamb says he’s pretty sure Logan is Veronica’s boyfriend and he calls Veronica “hard-boiled.” (D: True life: I still don’t understand what that actually means.) Anyway, they let Logan go because they couldn’t keep him on so little evidence. Keith hangs up and asks Lianne where Veronica is.
She is walking Backup on the beach, where Logan has found her. “So I guess we broke up, huh?” he starts. Veronica starts moving away from him, but asks what he wants her to say. He goes with, “Logan, I’m gonna go home and put my head in the oven because I can’t go on living knowing what a heartless bitch I am.” Veronica asks him if he’s really saying he wants her dead. He says yes. After threatening him with Backup, who allows himself to be petted by Logan, he explains that he knew Lilly was seeing someone. It was driving him crazy. When he left for Neptune that day, he didn’t know if he was going to scream at her or beg her to take him back. He says he watched her at the car wash, (the “I’ve got a secret!” car wash) and he just knew it was over. He wrote her a note saying as much and left it in her car with the shot glass. If Veronica could read that letter, she’d know he’d never hurt Lilly.
Diva: I never for a moment of this episode believed that Logan killed Lilly, but I’m still not sure how this note is supposed to entirely absolve him of guilt, unless it includes a receipt from him going to the grocery store at her exact time of death, or something. Like, just because someone writes a love/break-up note doesn’t mean they’re not also a murderer.
Sweeney: Yeeeaaaah, it’s one of those things where clearly Veronica is capable of putting her feelings aside in favor of the facts and evidence (to an extent, that is – we’ve all argued at one time or another that the actual issue here is the depth of Veronica’s feelings for her dead best friend) so I’m not sure what Logan thought this FEELS! defense would do for him.
Lor: I get Logan, because he has nothing else. And I’m sure Veronica isn’t ready to drop the charges but she’s at least paused. She seems to be softening but we hear a car horn honk multiple times. It’s Keith, jumping out of his car and running toward them, yelling at Logan to get away from her. Logan backs away and Keith grabs Veronica. “You two are dating?” he asks. “Not anymore,” she replies, sadly.
At home, Veronica is in her room watching a video of her and Lilly dancing around, singing to the Spice Girls. (D: I’m fully weeping now, because like most women and gay men my age, I have so many memories of doing this exact thing to this exact song with my childhood besties.) Veronica’s Voice Over says that if Lilly wanted to keep Logan’s letter a secret, there is one place she would’ve kept it. We Lilly!Back to see her uncover one of her one of her vents and take out some naked pictures. In the present, VVO is sure that’s where Logan’s letter is. So, Veronica has to get into the Kane Estate, so she dresses up as a waitress, puts on a black, curly wig and some glasses. It’s all very Sydney Bristow.
On the way out, Veronica grabs a water bottle, but after she takes a sip, she spits it out in the sink. It’s the same water bottle we saw Lianne chugging from before. Veronica calls the rehab facility.
Kane Estate for Parties After Telling Your Son He Killed His Sister. (D: A+) Veronica is serving, being careful to avoid Celeste. Going back to what we said earlier about what Logan would accomplish with his non-evidence letter, we see here that he’s at least piqued Veronica’s curiosity. And a curious Veronica is an investigating Veronica. And that is a good thing, if Logan is telling the truth.
She puts down her tray, but does so carelessly, so it crashes. In Lilly’s room, she goes for the vent and finds that one of the screws is already loosened. She keeps working but we see that behind her, the closet door creaks open. So we’re clear, we switch shots and look out from the view of whoever is hiding in the closet.
After a Not Break, Veronica is still working on the vent when Duncan comes in and tackles her, not recognizing her. She’s all woah, woah, woah! but Duncan goes off on her, asking if she wants to check his room. Veronica stops him and says she thinks Logan killed Lilly, not Duncan. Duncan says no way. Veronica quickly explains what we’ve learned so far, that Logan wasn’t in Mexico, that he claims to have written a break-up note, that she thinks it may be in the vent. Duncan lets her finishing looking but all they find are some tapes. Duncan says he has a camera they can play them on.
In Duncan’s room, they play the video and we see it’s at Logan’s poolhouse, which Veronica recognizes. Lilly is wearing her pep squad (murder) outfit. She jumps onto the bed and calls out to her “lover.” As she waits, we see her go through pretty much exactly the same thing Veronica did: she notices the camera lens on the fan, she follows the cables and stick her hand out over the bed to prove the camera is capturing her. Lilly leaves and the tape ends.
Diva: C’mon, Echolls House. Be better about hiding your creepy secret cameras. They should not be this ridiculously easy to find.
Sweeney: Word. With all that money, you should be able to keep your secrets a little better than that.
Lor: They put in the next tape and it’s Lilly having sex. Duncan looks away so he misses when AARON ECHOLLS pops up into the frame. “OH MY GOD,” Veronica says and Duncan hilariously goes, “Mr. Echolls?” We quickly flashback to the car wash and Lilly saying, “I’ve got a secret. A good one.”
Diva: My unedited, verbatim notes from this moment: “Lilly’s having sex with someone. It… doesn’t look like Logan. OH MY GOD IT’S LOGAN’S DAD. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD TIMES INFINITY WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK THIS IS DISGUSTING.”
Lor: Still pretty much exactly my non-Snow thoughts.
Veronica tells Duncan, and us, that she knows what happened.
We Lilly!Back to what the tape was showing us, with Lilly in the poolhouse finding the hidden camera and the tapes. She grabs them and leaves just before Aaron walks into the poolhouse. He looks for the tapes and finds them missing. Lilly drives home and stashes the tapes, then grabs her stuff to go outside and sun. Aaron shows up, demanding the tapes from her. Lilly is all, “Mr. Echolls! Hi, sorry, Logan isn’t here!” but he isn’t in the mood to play around. You figure he knew at this point that Lilly was alone. Aaron demands the tape, calling Lilly a stupid little bitch. Lilly, not sensing any danger I guess, says Aaron can watch the tapes on TV with the rest of America. Aaron picks up the killer ash tray and hits her over the head. We see Lilly fall into that position we’ve seen before. Aaron looks a bit shocked, but still has the presence to wipe his fingerprints off the tray and throw it into the pool. He runs away.
And the Kane Estate, inventors of streaming video, should probably invest in cameras around their large grounds.
Sweeney: YUP. It’s a little perplexing to me that they wouldn’t have had cameras.
Lor: Duncan gets home and sees Lilly dead by the pool. He grabs her body and begs her to wake up, rocking her, and pressing his face against her wounds. Later, the Kane parents come in and find him there and we see again, his creepy bloody face, and them demanding to know what he did. He won’t answer, though. He’s catatonic.
We don’t get a clean cut here, but since we’re heading into the last act, I’m handing it over to Diva to take us home! HAVE FUN, GIRL.
Democracy Diva: I WILL. Back to Duncan and Veronica at the poorly-timed party. He can’t believe Aaron could have murdered Lilly, but Veronica has seen him almost beat a guy to death and act like it was no big deal. Not to mention the abuse Logan has suffered at his hands. Then we learn that Aaron is here, now, in that house, because he’s here to meet the governor. Veronica begs Duncan to keep Aaron in his sight at all times while she gets these tapes to her dad. He tells her to be careful, and before she leaves, she reveals that they’re not actually related. Can everyone else save their dramatic life-changing information concerning Duncan for another day, please? I think the poor kid is a bit overloaded right now.
Sweeney: Word. Timing, Veronica. Isn’t there a connection between emotional overload and his episodes?
Lor: Also, Teddy Dunn’s version of overloaded is a slight, blink and you’ll miss it eyebrow raise. #acting
Diva: Veronica heads for her car and calls Keith, telling him everything she’s just learned. He wants her to stay where she is, but she insists she’ll come straight home and be there in ten minutes, so of course that will not happen.
Somewhere nearby, Logan is drunk and standing on the edge of a bridge and I CAN’T. I SIMPLY CAN’T. Veronica calls him, presumably to be all “I know you didn’t kill my bestie and I’m sorry,” but he doesn’t answer. The biker gang pulls over in front of Logan’s car and Weevil appears. Logan is completely wasted and basically begging Weevil to kill him.
Cut to Duncan phoning Veronica, who is driving home, to tell her that he can’t find Aaron. And we see that that’s because he’s IN THE BACKSEAT OF VERONICA’S CAR AND I JUST HAD A PANIC ATTACK. Aaron grabs the tapes out of her purse and says he’s been looking for those. She tightens her seatbelt and purposefully crashes the car into a tree.
Sweeney: (1) That shit still gives me panic attacks. YOU CAN’T EVER BE PREPARED FOR THAT. (2) This girl is so fucking quick-thinking it’s insane. I would be far too lost in the panic to do any strategic thinking.
Lor: I mean, I’d probably still crash the car, but not on purpose.
Diva: Veronica is passed out on her steering wheel after the crash when her phone rings. Keith can’t get through to her, so he leaves to go find her. Aaron is unconscious next to Veronica, having flown from the backseat into the front during the crash. Terrified, she grabs the tapes from his pocket and reaches for her phone, crying. But he coughs and starts to wake up. Veronica gets out of the car and runs to the nearest house, begging to be let in. The straight-up horror movie vibe continues as she looks back at the car and realizes Aaron is no longer inside it. She hides two tapes in garbage bins and throws one on the roof. She panics as she hears someone nearby, but a light goes on in the house! A man appears in the window, but collapses, because AARON IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM AND HE’S COMING FOR VERONICA NEXT.
Lor: This whole thing is so super intese because of Veronica’s sheer panic. I mean, yes, she’s still quick thinking, but we’ve never seen her this panicked and it tears me apart.
Diva: After the not-break, we hear Aaron’s voice through a walkie talkie. Veronica appears to be in a fucking coffin, still alive. I am having traumatic Buffy flashbacks. Aaron is sitting on the coffin – I think it’s actually a refrigerator – and says he’ll let her out as soon as she tells him where the tapes are. Veronica says she feels safer in the box, but she shouldn’t, because Aaron DOUSES IT IN GASOLINE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH. Cut to Keith, driving nearby. Cut back to Aaron who rants about Joan of Arc for a long time and I have no idea why. He’s screaming for the tapes. Keith pulls over and sees Veronica’s car crashed, with both doors open.
Back to Aaron, screaming and kicking the box. Veronica finally admits the tapes are on the roof. Aaron climbs up there and finds a tape. Below him, Keith appears with a gun – but Aaron JUMPS OFF THE ROOF and tackles him. A horrific fight ensues, in which they hit each other with increasingly random objects, and it’s terrifying. Veronica is still in the box, sobbing, while Keith and Aaron try to explode each other’s faces like it’s a trial by battle in Westeros. Before Aaron can probably kill Keith with what looks like an axe, Keith kicks him in the balls and punches Aaron until the bastard stays down. Unable to get up, Aaron simply clicks his lighter and TOSSES IT INTO THE GASOLINE HE POURED ALL OVER VERONICA AND THE WOODEN SHIT SURROUNDING HER. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Sweeney: Your use of capslock is entirely appropriate. You’re doing this recap right.
Diva: GOOD. Aaron tells Keith to check on his daughter, who is pounding on the box and screaming for her father. Keith runs in to rescue her, and he does not even care if his eyebrows of non-negligent parenting get singed off by the flames. (L: A+) He helps her out of the box, but then falls into the fire, and it’s Veronica’s turn to save him, as she pulls him out of the fire and uses a blanket to put out the flames all over him. She cries and tells her dad that she loves him and that she knew he would save her. BRB, need more tissues. (S: FEELINGS FOREVER.) Meanwhile, Aaron runs back to Veronica’s car and finds the keys to Keith’s car. So he gets into that car, but there’s another surprise guest in the backseat: BACKUP! The greatest dog known to mankind bites the shit out of Aaron’s arm and rips off part of his sleeve, because Backup knows that this physical evidence will be very useful to them in the future. Aaron runs out into the road, and a flower truck hits him, HARD. When the driver comes out of the truck to apologize, he looks at the guy he just ran over and says, “Oh my God – you’re Aaron Echolls!” CLASSIC.
Veronica appears and pulls a gun on Aaron, warning the truck driver not to touch him, just to call an ambulance, the police, and the fire department. They arrive, and Keith gets pulled away on a stretcher. But we know he’s going to be okay, because he tells Veronica, “Who’s your daddy?” Aw/ew! The police are arresting Aaron just as Duncan and Jake show up. I had so many feels and heart attacks happening in this scene that I sort of forgot about every other character on earth. But seeing Jake Kane scream at Aaron for murdering his daughter absolutely destroyed me. Jake insists that Aaron is going to pay, but Jake also gets arrested, because obstruction of justice. He gets taken away, screaming “MY DAUGHTER!” over and over again.
Sweeney: His daughter. His family. His entire fucking life, utterly shattered at the hands of this asshole. Jake played a hand in his undoing and the show never really shakes the shady, “SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER!” brush they painted him with, but even the role he played in all of this was driven by a pretty compelling motivation. My feels here are reserved pretty exclusively for Veronica and Keith, but while we’re taking a breather for our thinky thoughts, it’s worth remembering the severity of the Kane family’s suffering in all of this. (Because yeah, I was right there with you in forgetting the existence of all other characters because WHAT PURPOSE DO THEY SERVE IF THEY’RE NOT HELPING TO END THIS MADNESS?)
Lor: This show has given us lots of these characters painted in suspicious colors. It never, truly gave us a clearly evil dude… except for maybe psychopath Aaron Echolls. As much as we always knew this guy was off his rocker, and we actually talked about how none of the characters were reacting to him the way they should be, I think the show did a good job of keeping our suspicions of him, and of all the suspects, at an even level.
Diva: In the hospital, Veronica is watching over her father. The doctor tells her that Keith is going to be fine, and she should really go home and get some rest. He asks if he can call anyone, and Veronica just sort of smiles. When she gets home, Lianne is there, worried sick about where her family has been all night. Veronica promises that she’ll tell her the story tomorrow… because right now, Lianne needs to pack and be gone before Keith gets home. Veronica knows that her mom is still drinking, and reveals that she never finished rehab – she just checked herself out. Sobbing, Veronica says that was her college money, and she’s always been betting on her mom and losing. She’s done. Lianne tells her it’s not easy; Veronica says she knows, and walks away.
Diva: Hospital. Keith wakes up to Mama Wallace watching over him. Veronica called her so that Keith wouldn’t be alone, and I’m crying AGAIN. At home, Veronica gets into bed. Lianne sees the check for $50,000 in Keith’s bag, takes it, and runs. Because she is the absolute worst. She has approached Hank Summers levels of terrible.
Sweeney: RUN STRAIGHT PAST. Hank Summers has nothing on this new parenting low. She’s the absolute worst.
Lor: And my personal pick for 2014’s Negligent Parent of the Year.
Diva: Veronica has a beautiful, perfect dream about her and Lilly laying on floats in a pool of flowers, wearing pink bikinis. This is how it’s going to be from now on, Dream!Veronica insists – like it was always supposed to be. Dream!Lilly tells her that she must know how things are really going to be from now on. Just like this, Dream!Veronica says. Dream!Lilly just tells her best friend not to forget about her, and disappears. Suddenly Dream!Veronica is alone in the pool, crying, and saying that she could never forget about Lilly.
Diva: At 3:00 in the morning, Veronica wakes up to a knock on the door. She answers it and says, “I was hoping it would be you.” Cut to black, before we see her visitor’s face.
WOW. This was one of the most satisfying season finales I’ve ever seen, that still left us with a little bit of a cliffhanger at the end. Every moment was a complete shock to me, but left me wanting to know more. How the hell did Aaron and Lilly’s disgusting affair start? What the fuck will Logan do when he finds out about it? Who was at Veronica’s door? (My money’s on Wallace.) I’ll save the rest of my feelings for the season wrap-up post, but again: WOW.
Sweeney: As excited as I was to watch the finale, I was mostly excited for you to watch the finale. While we’re here, in the post, let the record show that we both send her, “I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE THIS!!” emails. I’m really glad your short reaction is “WOW.” This, like the finale itself, is super satifying.
Next time: Join us for the start of season 2 and find out who’s at the front door in Veronica Mars S02 E01 – Normal is the Watchword.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
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