Previously: Joey went to visit her jailbird father, Jen’s grandfather died, and Dawson finally grew some balls and kissed Joey. Ugh.
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The Kiss
Kirsti: We pick up exactly where we left off last season, with Dawson and Joey eating each other’s faces in the Shrine o’ Spielberg. Shit gets monumentally awkward when the kiss ends and Dawson wonders aloud what this means for them now. Joey says they should sleep on it, and Dawson stares at his bed in terror. But no, Joey means they should sleep in their respective beds. Dawson says with a smile that it’ll be a like a dream when he wakes up. Joey interprets this as him wishing it had never happened, and glares at him before heading for the window. He stops her and says that’s the exact opposite of what he wants. They face-nom some more.
Democracy Diva: So much miscommunication! So much face nomming! I’m already exhausted.
K: ME TOO.
I DON’T WANNA WAIT.
After the credits, it’s the following morning. The best of 1998 (Fastball’s Out of My Head) (D: I JAMMED OUT SO HARD) plays as we see Joey and Dawson waking up smiling in their respective houses. We cut to Mitch waking up to find Gail watching him. She wants to have some morning sexy times, but he shuts her down, saying he has to shower. Womp womp. He storms off to the bathroom, leaving Gail horny and sad panda-ing. Elsewhere in town, Bessie complains about how much she hates her truck. Joey’s uncharacteristically chipper and also wearing a tank top and shorts. What the fuck, y’all? Last I checked, it was somewhere around November. Did Joey and Dawson’s kiss trap the whole town in some kind of Sleeping Beauty bubble where everything stands still and now it’s summer again?
Diva: The timeline of this show has never made any sense at all. You’d think we’d be used to it by now, but NOPE.
K: I will never be over the wonky timeline. NEVER.
Anyway, Bessie realises something is up given Joey’s cheerfulness and demands information as they change a flat tyre. Joey smiles that she was at Dawson’s the previous night and Bessie gets all excited. Cut to Pacey demanding information from Dawson. Weirdly, they’re at the hairdresser and are gossiping about the kiss while having their hair washed. IDEK. (D: It’s an adorably bromantic moment, but it definitely doesn’t seem realistic.) We cut back and forth between the two. Joey says the kiss was hot. Dawson says it was sweet and romantic and better than the movies. I say it was gag-inducing, but maybe that’s just me. (D: Nope, definitely not just you.)
Bessie asks what happens next, and Joey’s all, “I have no fucking clue.” Dawson doesn’t either. Pacey, somewhat hilariously, says he’s thrilled Dawson and Joey didn’t drag out the will-they-won’t-they thing for another couple of years on account of how that’s how it works on TV, i.e. “Mulder and Scully? They haven’t even kissed yet!” Less hilariously, Pacey goes on to say that if Dawson can finally find his balls and kiss Joey, anything is possible. Like, for instance, Pacey becoming a total stud and getting a super classy girlfriend. So…2014 Joshua Jackson, yes?
Diva: YES. SO GOOD. MOST BEAUTIFUL.
K: Who would have thought that the kid from Mighty Ducks would turn out so well?
Dawson scoffs when Pacey indicates that he could totally hook up with the hot blonde chick in the next chair, because she’s a senior cheerleader and also ALI LARTER OMG. Pacey turns to the hairdresser and announces that he needs a new look: “What do you say we frost my tips?” DUDE, NO.
Diva: It’s a terrible idea, but in his defense, frosted tips were ALL THE RAGE in 1999. Blame every boy band ever.
K: Cut to a tip-frosted Pacey (which I’ve just remembered is because Joshua Jackson filmed Cruel Intentions over the break) (D: LOL BEST RANDOM FACT EVER) climbing into a police cruiser and examining his new hair in the mirror.
He sees Ali Larter approaching and calls out to her, but she keeps walking. He starts the car and pulls out without looking, and promptly smashes into a convertible being driven by the TOTALLY TEENAGED Meredith Monroe. YAAAAAAAAAAAAY, ANDIE’S HERE. (Seriously, though. Meredith Monroe was 29 when she joined the cast…) (D: YAY ANDIE! Also, she still looks a decade younger than Dawson, so it’s fine.) Anyway, she freaks because she hit a cop car and calls Pacey “Officer“. He goes with it, demanding to see her licence and registration. This serves as an infodump: Andie McPhee and her family just moved to town from Rhode Island and they live on the rich people side of town. He threatens to take her licence, and when she begs him not to, he says he’ll be watching her. It’s creepy and weird and I don’t approve.
Diva: Everything Pacey does is made cuter than it should be because he’s Pacey, but yeah, this is not a cool thing to do.
K: Capeside High. Now everyone’s dressed like it’s like 30 degrees outside. Dawson finds Joey at her locker and they grin inanely at each other. He asks how she is and she says “I don’t know Dawson. I think I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.” He looks panicky, but she’s not talking about them kissing. She turned down the trip to France. DUDE, NO. DO NOT TURN DOWN INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL FOR THIS CREEPER. They hug and squeal and it’s meant to be adorable, but I’m stuck on DUDE, NO.
Diva: GO TO FRANCE, YOU IDIOT. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO TO FRANCE, YOU GO TO FRANCE. THAT IS ALL.
K: EXACTLY.
They walk down the hall and she asks if she’s made the right decision. Nope. Not even. She’s worried about things being complicated between them, and he says that while they may be heading for “uncharted boy/girl territory” (LOL WHUT), they’ll be fine provided they focus on the easy stuff. Like going out on an actual date. She cheerfully agrees that they should go to the movies on Saturday night and they go to kiss but get cockblocked by Jen. THANK YOU, JEN LINDLEY, FOR SAVING US FROM MORE KISSING. She tells them that her grandfather died the previous night, and they ask if there’s anything they can do. She says there’s not and that she’s just going to head home because she’s not doing well. She walks away and Dawson rushes after her, leaving Joey standing alone in the corridor, looking a little confused. (D: Which is Katie Holmes’s default face.)
Elsewhere, Pacey is boasting to some random dudes we’ve never seen before about the trick he pulled on Andie. Unfortunately for him, her locker is right behind him and she’s standing at it. She taps him on the shoulder and informs him that impersonating a cop is illegal and she’s going to report him. He scoffs that his father is the town sheriff, so reporting him wouldn’t do much. She tells him she’s been having anxiety attacks requiring medication ever since he pulled his little stunt, and I’m not convinced something counts as “ever since” worthy when it happened, like, four hours earlier.
Diva: That’s how you know she’s a rich girl – the accident happened four hours ago and she already managed to squeeze a Xanax prescription out of her doctor. Atta girl.
K: Anyway, Pacey says the accident is her fault and he was just having some fun. Ali Larter walks past and greets Andie by name, and Pacey’s all “Skkkrrrttt, how the hell do you know the superhot cheerleader when you just moved to town?” “Well, unlike certain sewer rats, she made an effort to welcome the new, and slightly insecure, to Capeside!” Andie replies. He mentions his newly frosted tips, and Andie scoffs at them before telling him that she’s got a soft spot for losers so she’ll introduce him to Ali Larter.
Chez Grams. Jen walks in to find Grams packing up all of her husband’s clothes to give to charity, even though he died like a red hot second ago. Jen gets a little teary as she says it’s too early because they haven’t even buried him yet. Grams replies that she watched her husband waste away in a bed for almost two years, and waiting a few days to pack up his clothes won’t bring him back.
Leery Manor. Gail rushes up to the porch, apologising to Mitch for being late and offering a bunch of “I TOTALLY WASN’T CHEATING” excuses. Meanwhile, I’m distracted by her hair, which is all kinds of insane:
DAMN.
Diva: Her hair is always terrible, but this might be the worst offense yet.
K: I’m not even going to make a Mean Girls joke, because the sanctity of Mean Girls should not be sullied by association with that hair.
Mitch says that he believes her excuses but he’s going out. She asks where he’s going, and he won’t say anything more than that he has an appointment.
Outside Capeside High, Andie is talking to Ali Larter. She heads over to Pacey and tells him that Ali Larter’s all ready for him. He heads over to her and asks her out on a date the following night. She accepts and he stares in shock because he was fully expecting rejection. Cut to Mitch sitting shiftily outside an office somewhere. A secretary ushers him in, then crosses to answer the phone, conveniently informing us that Mitch’s appointment is with a divorce lawyer.
Cut to Jen sitting sadly outside Chez Grams. Dawson – once again sporting a sweater vest and trousers five sizes too big – appears, carrying the obligatory grief food, which he describes as “chicken-cheese noodle thing with way too many spices.” I have no idea why, but that particular line has stuck with me since the very first time I saw this episode and I have been known to describe dishes in exactly that way. Jen describes his terrible outfit as “spiffy” and asks where he’s going. It’s apparently now Saturday, so he’s going on his date with Joey. Jen sad pandas about it, and Dawson tells her that more than anything, she needs a friend. She hugs him tearfully.
Joey’s house. She sits on the dock, deep in thought. (D: Not to be confused with the time she did this in literally every other episode.) Bessie asks her what’s up, and she tells her sister that she’s kind of freaking out about going on a date with Dawson. The kiss felt right, she says, but it’s been a whole day and they haven’t kissed. I am so fucking confused about this timeline. First the mysteriously changing seasons, now the let’s-go-on-a-date-on-Saturday-night-but-somehow-we-still-had-school-all-day? MY HEAD HURTS. Bessie tells her the second kiss is harder than the first because it’s rational. She says that Joey will get her second kiss. Joey smiles happily at her sister as we fade to black.
Cut to the movie theatre. They stare moonily at each other as the house lights go down, and Joey reaches for Dawson’s hand. Outside, Pacey – wearing a truly hideous shirt – seems to have been stood up by Ali Larter. She probably saw his shirt and ran away.
WHY.
Back inside, Jen suddenly appears and sits down next to Dawson. Joey immediately gets “I WILL CUT YOU” face, which is pretty legit, as Jen tells them she thought she’d take Dawson’s advice to get out of the house. He suggests she could maybe sit with her grandmother, who’s a few rows in front of them, and Jen sadly says that she shouldn’t have come and leaves. After a second, Dawson apologetically follows. Joey sad pandas.
Out in the foyer, Jen mopes about her failed relationship with Dawson, saying “It seems a little sad, really, that I was the girl who’s sole purpose was to allow you to figure out who you were really in love with.” She goes on to say that it’s her fault that she’s lost him because she pushed him away. Uh, NO. It’s HIS fault for being a slut shaming asshat. (D: +1) Dawson says that they can still be friends, and Jen says she doesn’t want to be the third wheel. She begs him not to get too serious with Joey straight away because it might drive her to suicide to see them together. In the only decent thing this asshat has said in the entire show, Dawson replies “Don’t even joke about that.” Jen says that her entire life is a joke and storms out. Dawson sadly heads back into the movie theatre to find Joey’s seat empty, the flower he picked for her sitting on it. He gets “I fucked up” face as we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Pacey’s still waiting. Ali Larter appears and tells him that she’s sorry but she can’t go on their date because it’s her five week anniversary with her boyfriend. That…is a weird thing to celebrate. Pacey’s confused, and she tells him that she wanted to come and tell him how brave he is. That makes him more confused, and she says that Andie told her about Pacey’s super serious, may cause sudden death heart condition. She tells him she understands the whole “don’t treat me any differently” thing that Andie told her Pacey wants on account of she has asthma. (D: LOLOLOL. Yeah, Ali Larter, that’s totally the same thing.) She heads back to her boyfriend, leaving Pacey to facepalm.
At the end of the movie, Grams spots Jen sitting alone near the back. Jen gets angsty, saying that her parents hate her and she has no friends in Capeside except Grams, and she’s not even sure Grams likes her.
Pacey, meanwhile, is looking at hair dye in a supermarket. He spots Andie, and confronts her about what she said to Ali Larter. She tells him that he was deluded if he ever thought Ali Larter would go out with him. He snaps, yelling that Ali Larter was a metaphor. I’m sorry, but I can’t not:
Anyway, Ali Larter was a metaphor, Pacey trying to get over his loser-y ways. Just like dyeing his hair. Andie tells him that his hair is hideous and he should dye it back, then offers advice on hair dye. He asks if she’s playing another trick, and she sasses that he’ll just have to take a chance. With that, she walks away, leaving Pacey staring at bottles of hair dye.
Leery Manor. Gail calls Mitch a liar, and he claims to have no idea what she’s talking about. She demands to know why he talked to a divorce lawyer, having found a business card in his pocket. “Because I’m not sure I can stay married to a woman I love and hate in equal measure. The reason I went to see Mr. Drake is because I want to know what my options are,” Mitch replies. Um. Ouch? Gail tells him that his options are to shit or get off the pot (Note: may be paraphrased), and he says he will. He just doesn’t know which one he’s going to do yet. Ugh. Worst.
Dawson finds Joey sitting on the boardwalk. He apologises and assures her that he doesn’t have feelings for Jen, and she says it’s fine. She goes on to say that she was crazy tempted to go to France, because she could start over and be her own person, not Joey Potter, waitress/daughter of a criminal/possible love interest to Dawson Leery. She didn’t go, she says, because France was the easy way out. Capeside would make her stronger. (D: But also baguettes make you stronger! GO TO FRANCE!) Plus, you know, Dawson finally grew some balls. Joey says that no matter how complicated their friendship, a relationship will even more complex.
Dawson smiles at her and takes her hands as he says “What you and I have may never be simple…but that doesn’t mean that we’re not going to be scorching.” I throw up in my mouth a little. (D: I throw up in my mouth a lot.) He goes on to say that she can have a little taste of France without leaving Capeside, because there’s a river and boats and “ze swingset” (really, dude?). He leads her over to it and they sit down, facing opposite ways. He tells her that there are other French options to consider, like French fries and French toast, and obviously this leads to French kissing.
UGH.
“The second kiss. The rational one,” Joey smiles. Dawson tells her that he’s found out the movie theatre (which I totally forgot to mention is closing and being torn down) is being replaced with another movie theatre. A modern movie theatre. Joey’s confused as to why they’d replace something that already worked, and Dawson looks at her meaningfully as he says “Because maybe it will work even better.” He says that everything’s going to be simple, and kisses her again as we fade to black.
My feelings on this episode can be summed up pretty easily: Andie? YAY. Dawson/Joey? MAKE IT STOP. Welcome to season 2, friends.
Diva: The hair wasn’t the worst thing about this episode, and that really says it all.
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Pacey turns 16 and Dawson reads Joey’s diary because he’s the actual worst in S02 E02 – Crossroads.
(Don’t worry, Britney Spears doesn’t turn up.)
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
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