Charmed S01 E13 – Superstition ain’t the way.

Previously: Piper suddenly grew a whole lot of hair.

From Fear to Eternity

Lorraine: Prue and Phoebe are shopping when the shop owner tells them she wants to close up. Prue thought it was open until 1am, and usually it is, but not on the eve of Friday the 13th. Dawson Leery might be around the corner, waiting to scare you because he likes you. Prue tries to rush Phoebe along as the shop owner looks nervously at the clock. Phoebe quickly decides on a good luck charm.

At the register, Prue pays for the charm. The shop owner asks them to sign up for her mailing list and tells them about a Wicca gathering for the spring equinox. Prue says they never said they were witches and the shop owner gives them excellent, “bitch, please.” eyes.

The clock strikes 12 and the shop owner tells them to hurry up. Instead of respecting this lady’s wishes, they asks questions about why she’s taking Friday the 13th so seriously. It’s a Very Good Question, though, and allows the lady to set up the episode’s plot-trivance: Every 1300 years, really bad stuff happens on Friday the 13th. Shop Owner notices that the clock strikes 13 times and Prue and Phoebe give her super judgey looks. Guys, last week your sister turned into a wendigo. CALM DOWN WITH THE JUDGING.

Prue and Phoebe leave and and this guy shows up in a cloud of purple smoke. Going through his IMDB, you’ll quickly note that he’s been playing villainous roles on sci-fi shows for as long as I’ve been alive. Apparently, he’ll show up on Supernatural eventually too. Professional Bad Guy [PBG] lets himself into the shop. He waves a hand and says Shop Owner’s biggest fear is being buried alive in an earthquake. The shop starts shaking and Shop Owner screams. PBG basks in her fear and dramatically yells that she’s frozen in fear. She passes out and we see her once red hair has turned white. So, in addition to feeding off fears, it appears PBG also gives people really bad wigs. Worst. PBG spots the mailing list and is all, “hey! Convenient!” (I’m assuming). He takes the names he needs. And Shop Owner is probably dead because Prue and Phoebe wouldn’t stop chatting.

I AM THE SAHN.

Piper is going through some jewelery at the Halliwell Manor.

 
 

Phoebe joins her and they talk briefly about Prue’s inability to say, “I love you.” Prue enters in a very chipper mood. Her sisters are suspicious and she shares that she had a wonderful dream about their mother. Prue yawns and Piper shoves her hand in front of her face, saying she has to cover her mouth or she might let the devil in. I have no idea how the last five random things (jewellery! Phoebe’s new clothes! I love yous! mom dream! yawning!) have anything to do with anything, but they couldn’t have been thrown at us more gracelessly.

Ah, but here it is! It’s all about Friday the 13th. Piper explains that Qua   ke is having a superstition themed fundraiser (??), which is why she sent her sisters to load up on amulets and stuff. Prue tries to explain the difference between the real magic stuff they encounter and old wives tales. Phoebe says she prefers the upside to superstition. She’s got her lucky charm to help with a job interview today. If she keeps quitting jobs after one day, to go be herself or whatever, no lucky charm is going to help her. Piper and Phoebe head out. Phoebe says she loves Prue who responds, “yeah, me too!” earning her pointed looks from her sisters.

Andy pays Prue a visit. She assumes he’s there with bad news because it’s “too early” for a social call. She doesn’t know she lives on TV, where morning is bullshit. Andy tells her about the Shop Owner’s murder. Prue’s credit card was the last transaction for the night and he wants to know if anything strange happened. He also tells her that Shop Owner was literally scared to death. There were two other murders just like this one, all tied to the occult. Andy suggests Prue shop in a different place, and she kind of has to because the Shop Owner is dead. A little insensitive, Andy.

Attic. Prue looks for information in the Book of Shadows and finds that the demon of fear appears every 1300 and feeds off the fears of witches to survive. The entry is in her mother’s handwriting.

Qua   ke. Piper is preparing for her Ridiculous Fundraiser. Prue sneaks up on her as she sees a blond man checking her Piper out. They exposit that he’s the Ridiculous Fundraiser organizer and was featured in Some Magazine as the Bay area’s most eligible bachelor.

 
 
 
 

Prue fills Piper in on the Professional Bad Guy. The entry by their mother says that if PBG can feed off the fears of 13 unmarried witches before midnight, he’ll be released from the underworld forever. All it said about conquering the demon was that their powers would be paralyzed and they have to release their fears. Prue says since Piper’s fear is flying, she should stay in the crowded restaurant, and since Phoebe’s fear is being trapped in an elevator, she should take the stairs all day. Piper tells Prue to stay away from pools, then, since her fear is drowning, ever since their mom died. Prue’s all, “WHATEVS. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.” Prue’s skipping work to go warn other witches. She’s got the flyer for the Wicca gathering and is going to start there.

Job Interview. Phoebe nails it and is hired to start immediately. Some guy shows up and the Boss Lady hands Phoebe the keys to the office and tells her to just answer the phones while she’s gone. Plus, part of her new job description is to cover with Boss Lady’s husband from time to time. Phoebe looks between Some Guy and Boss Lady and is all, “OH.” Her very thin eyebrows get just a tad judgey but she agrees. Boss Lady leaves.

Incredibly Purple Apartment. (Seriously, it’s lavendar on plum on violet on, um, mauve.) Purple Witch senses someone has entered and surely, it’s Professional Bad Guy. She grandstands that she has no mortal fear left and PBG waves his hand all, “oh really? Check this!” Her repressed fear is of fire and soon, she’s surrounded by flames. Prue is just arriving at the apartment, because it was the contact on the Wicca flyer. She telekinesises the door open, but it’s too late. Purple Witch has a bad white wig on. RIP.

Police examine the Purple Apartment. Someone shows Morris the visitor log. The last person to see Purple Witch was… Prue.

Qua    ke again. Prue didn’t say anything to the police, because she doesn’t want Andy to know she was near the crime scene. Prue spills salt and Piper tells her to throw some over her shoulder. This launches them into a chat about superstitions again. SUDDENLY, (please try to keep up with the plot developments) Phoebe spots a ladybug on the flower centerpieces. The superstition says that whatever direction it flies in will lead to true love. Phoebe flicks it and the bug lands on Eligible Bachelor’s shoulder. Prue is amused right up until a waiter trips and drops food all over her. Piper says she should’ve thrown the salt. Prue huffs away. Phoebe shouts, “I love you,” as she leaves and only gets a dismissive hand wave in response. Girl, that example is a bad one. She has spaghetti in her hair, blast your “I love you.”

Piper says Prue’s I love you problems probably stem from her trying to be strong for them all the time. Phoebe leaves and as soon as she’s gone, Eligible Bachelor comes over and asks Piper out. She’s hesitant to accept until she sees the ladybug land on his shoulder again.

Lying Liars Realty. The phone rings and in her haste to answer, Phoebe tips over a water bottle. When she touches the water, she gets a vision of Prue drowning in the shower. DON’T ASK ME ABOUT THOSE VISION LOGISTICS. Phoebe hangs up on whoever called and tries to reach Prue.

Prue climbs in the shower (probably having learned that bad things happen in bath tubs). Phoebe calls and leaves a message but Professional Bad Guy shows up and wipes it away? Upstairs, he swipes his hand again and reads that Prue’s greatest fear is drowning. The shower starts to fill with water. She tries turning the water off, opening the door, squinting at him, but nothing works.

Andy and Morris arrive at the Manor to question Prue. They ring the doorbell and Prue gets her head above the water long enough to scream. The water level seems to vary during this scene, but I don’t care enough to rewind to confirm. Andy and Morris break into the house and run upstairs. PBG is scared off, and when the men enter the bathroom, all they find is Prue with her eyes shut in the shower. Morris sees himself out and Andy stares a bit longer before saying he’ll wait for her downstairs. When she opens the shower door, a bunch of water escapes as well.

Downstairs, Prue is not trying very hard to sell the lie she screamed due to soap in her eye. She more convincingly tells them that she visited the Purple Witch because she had occult items she was interested in auctioning. She cops to having placed the 9-1-1 call. Andy asks what Prue would think if she were in his shoes. She assures him she would never think him capable of murder. Andy is worried since five women her age have died of fright and he walked in on her screaming. Phoebe runs in calling for Prue but stops short when she sees the officers. They let themselves out.

Prue starts to explain what happened, but Phoebe saw it already. Prue takes off the towel wrapped around her hair and she’s got a strip of white hair. The bad wig was so close.

Up in the attic, Prue, sporting her Poor Man’s Rogue Hair, and Phoebe consult the Book of Shadows. Prue smells sandalwood, a fragrance their mother used to wear. Also, there’s a new portion in the PBG entry saying they can release fear with the greatest power of all. Phoebe wonders what that could be. I’d guess LOVE but I did that last episode and then they burned a bitch.

Prue doesn’t feel up to going to work, but Phoebe says it’s best if she isn’t alone and probably she should stay away from water. Phoebe says she loves Prue, who responds, “me too.” Phoebe finally asks about why she deflects that way. Has she ever said “I love you” to anyone? Prue says yes. She used to say it to their mom. They hug and have lots of emotions.

Qua   ke. Piper splits her skirt. Bumbling Bartender asks if she’s okay, and she tells hm about her string of bad luck since accepting a date with Eligible Bachelor. Bumbling just duhs that it’s Friday the 13th.

Piper tries to light some sage and recite a simple spell to get rid of her troubles but she ends up setting off the fire alarm and burning her hand. Granted, she does stick it in a pot of boiling water for some reason, so that’s all on her.

Lying Liar Realty. Boss Lady’s husband comes in and Phoebe finds she can’t lie to him. She tells him she’s quitting and Cheatee thanks her for not lying to him. He suspected Boss Lady was having an affair and realizes that he just had to face the truth. After he leaves, the phone rings and it’s a Mrs. Joffee who was supposed to meet with Boss Lady. She’s flown in from LA to see a property so Phoebe offers to show it to her. We cut there, and it turns out it’s just PBG who wasn’t swiping away Phoebe’s voicemail, just stealing the caller ID information, which makes so much more sense. Awesome power there, buddy.

Anyway, he threatens Phoebe and reads that her greatest fear is losing a sister. Then there is an awkward few seconds of them just looking at each other before we cut away.

 
 
 

Buckland. Prue gets a call from “Phoebe” asking for a ride but we see it’s actually PBG. Phoebe is tied up behind him either shivering or crying with her shoulders.

Qua    ke. PIPER’S DATE IS AT QUA    KE. She needs to get out more. Her date is going really well until she admits that she was sending out negative vibes because of that Friday the 13th superstition. Then she changed her mind because of the ladybug superstition. This turns Eligible Bachelor off completely and he says he’s looking for someone who isn’t superstitious. He just likes to build Ridiculous Fundraisers around superstitions, see?

Lying Liar Property. PBG pushes Prue into the pool. PBG says some incredibly cheesy things as Prue drowns. Down there, a white light shines and the 3P’s mom shows up to tell Prue to face her fear. AND TRUST IN THE POWER OF LOVE! It’s actually love this time, you guys. Ma-Ti would be so proud.

 
Spirit!Mom pulls Prue up to the surface, she swims to the edge, and squint-throws PBG. Once she’s out of the pool, she announces that she isn’t afraid anymore and PBG disappears in a prolonged flash of Bad Special Effects. I think the writers really just like to see wet Shannon Doherty.

Prue and Phoebe embrace and this time when Phoebe says I love you, Prue reciprocates.

Manor. Piper is brooding about her failed date but is distracted by the returning sisters’ tales of demon vanquishing. Prue says she loves Piper and realizes she should’ve said that before. She was just afraid of losing them. Prue excuses herself to bed but instead goes into the attic to stare at the entry in her mother’s handwriting. Ghostwriter appears to write, “thanks for letting them into your heart.” Prue says, “I miss you mom,” with tears in her eyes, so I guess it wasn’t really Ghostwriter, but close.

 

Next time on Charmed: Prue tries to help a young boy kidnapped by “thugs” (according to Netflix) on S01 E14 – Secrets and Guys.

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





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