Charmed S01 E14 – The Powers That Be Contriving

Previously: A fear demon and Phoebe quit another job.
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Secrets and Guys

Lorraine: A black man sits down to dinner with his son when suddenly, some thugs (according to the episode description) break into the house. Thugs grab the boy and tell the dad that they’re going to borrow him and will return him Monday. It’s all rather polite right up until the Thug with the gun knocks the dad unconscious.

Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is painting her toenails in the attic, where her sisters are spring cleaning. Prue is doing most of it with her telekinesis. She hopes that doesn’t count as personal gain and I’m already laughing bitterly. “Personal gain” might be this show’s “soul.”

Piper is going through a box of toys with her actual hands and finds some of Phoebe’s old diaries.

The 3Ps joke about how Phoebe never could keep a secret. Phoebe wants to keep the toys for their future children and Prue says they can throw hers away, which earns her disapproving looks. She explains that the world is a scary place to raise kids in and she doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a mother. Piper objects and Prue says they can discuss it in five years. Piper and Phoebe run downstairs to check on dinner.

Thugs bring the boy, Max, into an autoshop. They tell him to behave and then stand right in front of him as they exposit that they heard he has special powers that can turn off alarm systems. They are going to try these powers out. When the thugs leave, Max starts rocking back and forth with his eyes shut. At Halliwell Manor, the pointer on the Not A Ouija Board starts moving unprompted. Prue calls her sisters back into the attic and shows them the message it spelled out: Help Max.

I AM THE SAHN.

Piper is pacing while on the phone. Phoebe and Prue talk about what “help Max” could mean. Prue wants to go see Andy and be all, “hey, know any Maxes in trouble?” Phoebe thinks that’s dumb, but also offers to look through the Book of Shadows for an entry on a spirit board SOS. They don’t ask Piper to do anything, because she’s stressed over her new chef who has thrown out all of her knives. (Actual plot point.) Piper grabs her things finds Leo on the other side of the door. I feel like these girls leaving just as someone is about to knock has happened enough times to make it a thing. Am I imagining this thing?

Piper and Leo hug and the other Ps come in to say hello. Phoebe is over eager, with her toothy smile and her asking Leo to fix a lamp. Prue shoos her to go do that reading she’s supposed to do in the attic (not suspicious at all). Leo notices that giant Not A Ouija Board Prue is holding and she’s all, “THIS OLD THING?” She lies that she’s taking it to the auction house to get it appraised. Piper promises Leo that she’ll be back soon and kisses him goodbye.

LOLPD. Andy is trying to make sense of the fact that Prue wants to help Max but doesn’t know why and also doesn’t know who Max is. Prue lies that she had a dream that her sisters were playing with a Not Ouija Board and it spelled out “help Max.” Andy stares at her blankly for a second but then types “Max” into his computer. He stares at her moonily, now, as he says that she always has the most entertaining stories. Bro, they usually involve murder and murderers disappearing in a flash of SMOKE AND GLITTER! but okay. Andy pulls nothing up on Max, but Prue thanks him for checking.

Qua   ke. Piper storms into the kitchen and yells at the new chef who in addition to throwing out her knives, is also wearing some super offensive shorts paired with high socks and something I’m reluctant to call “shoes.” Piper shouts that he’s fired and Offensive Chef says that’s cute because she’s only a manager and can’t fire him. Unless she wants to be the executive chef. Which is funny because I swear she was hired to be a chef but I guess if the writes kept her in the kitchen, there would be no reason for 60% of all the scenes to happen at Qua   ke.

Piper freezes time, fishes her knives out of the trash and throws Offensive Chef’s ravioli away. Piper rants a bit to Phoebe via phone call. Phoebe walks into the living room and Leo is floating.

Phoebe hangs up quickly, even though her power is useless and she should’ve been all, “HELP.” She tries to keep Leo back by pointing the cordless phone at him. He assures her he’s not a warlock on the basis that he hasn’t hurt them yet. Phoebe demands to know what he is.

Cut to the Thugs explaining to Max what security systems he has to shut off. Max is hesitant, but the Thugs threaten him. Max rocks back and forth while he shuts off the system. Thug 1 is able to walk into the building free and clear. A security guard walks up on him though and Thug 1 shoots him.

Manor. Leo is a white lighter, which he explains is like a guardian angel for good witches. He was sent to watch over them when they got their powers. Phoebe asks sent by who? The Powers That Be (Contriving)? The Senior Partners? Guardians? Nope. A group of Elder White Lighters. Leo wasn’t ever supposed to let them know about this, but he messed up. Phoebe asks if he’s back to protect them from something. Leo is actually there to help Max. He explains to Phoebe that Max is a good witch, new into his powers. All Leo was meant to do, though, was get the “help Max” message to Prue, who will do the rest. In the meanwhile, he wants to talk about his love life! He asks Phoebe to keep his secret for him and she laughs. Hey, remember that one time, five minutes ago, when we learned that Phoebe is bad at keeping secrets? White Lighters and witches aren’t allowed to fall in love. Now, he has to break up with Piper.

Buckland. Andy comes to see Prue with news on Max. She quickly hides the Not Ouija Board as Andy sits and retells everything we’ve seen, what with the kidnapping and security guard shooting, etc. Meanwhile, the pointer on the Not Ouija Board starts moving and Prue is doing her best to look at it and pay attention to Andy.

Andy asks what she’s writing and when she claims to be doodling, he realizes she isn’t going to tell him anything. He stands and very intensely says that one day he’s going to figure out her secret. After he’s gone, Prue calls Piper. She tells her about kidnapped Max but their conversation is cut short when Offensive Chef grabs the phone away from Piper and throws it in the sink. He throws a bunch of orders for ravioli at her.

Prue goes to visit Max’s dad, Mr. Franklin. He tells Prue to get lost because no one can help and his son definitely isn’t kidnapped. He tries to shut the door on her like 5 times, but she insists, and instead of saying, “I’m a witch too!” she squints at a picture frame and it goes flying at Mr. Franklin.

Qua   ke. Phoebe and Leo are sitting at a table and apparently one of the White Lighter powers is getting Phoebe a refill on water. Purified water, I hope. I don’t know where Leo’s hands have been. Piper comes out briefly to greet them, but a crash in the kitchen sends her running back. Phoebe says this gives Leo time to work out his speech. He tries a, “I can’t stay in San Francisco but I love you,” one that Phoebe says sounds like he has a family in another part of the country. He tries a, “I wish things could work but they can’t” one that she says sounds like he found someone better. Phoebe’s advice is to avoid some phrases (“I don’t deserve you… yet” and “It’s not you, it’s me”) and he should be fine. Leo is stressed.

Mr. Franklin tells Prue about his wife, who was also a witch. Except, she didn’t tell him about the family secret until right before she died, three months ago. Now Max has her powers and he doesn’t know a thing about them. Prue tries to defend the wife’s decision not to tell her secret but Mr. Franklin isn’t having it. Prue asks if he knows any auto-shops, on account of Max’s clue. Mr. Franklin realizes that one of Max’s friend’s older brother works at one near by.

We cut there and Max is trying to break out of his ropes. Prue runs in and tells him she’s there to help and his father is waiting for him. The Thugs run in and Prue telekinesises them away. Max says he can’t leave or they’ll kill his father. During this 10 second conversation, Prue doesn’t notice Thug 2 stand up and walk toward her because he SURPRISE! PUNCHES her into unconsciousness.

After a not!break, Max and Prue are both tied up. Thug 1 shakes Prue awake and tells her not to try any more witchy stuff because he’s got a switch  and reveals a bomb strapped on Max under his jacket. No word on why Prue couldn’t telekinesis the switch far away from Thug 1. He asks what Max and Prue are, anyway, and then laughs when Prue says they are witches.

Then Thug 1 leaves, Prue makes sure Max is okay and then has a heart to heart with him about their powers being gifts and she’s going to protect him and his daddy loves him. REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME, 20 MINUTES AGO, WHEN PRUE SAID SHE WOULDN’T BE A GOOD MOTHER? She was mistaken, see.

Qua   ke. Piper finally sits down with Leo. He says he could be “summoned” at any moment, so probably he isn’t trying that hard to keep his white lighter thing a secret. He can’t actually break up with her, though, and ends up saying he really missed her. Offensive Chef yells something at Piper so she has to get up and leave again. Phoebe comes back and asks how Piper is, thinking Leo broke up with her. Piper assumes she’s talking about Offensive Chef.  Ha ha ha, misunderstanding. Once Piper is back in the kitchen, Phoebe tells Leo that they have a bigger problem than his love life: she can’t find Prue.

LOLPD. They’ve identified Thug 1 as a bank robber, but still don’t know how Max fits in. Phoebe calls Andy and asks if he’s seen Prue since the morning. He hasn’t and asks if she knows anything about a boy named Max. Phoebe is all, “G2G” and hangs up on him, which won’t make him suspicious at all. Leo says he wasn’t able to reach Prue or Max telepathically. Phoebe asks if that means they are in trouble just as Piper walks in. Phoebe lies that they are talking about football and then excuses herself into the kitchen.

Piper says Offensive Chef quit (what was his point??) and leans in for a kiss but Leo backs away. He sighs and says he’s been trying to figure out a good way to say this. Piper freezes him with her cute little hand motion all, “I can’t even.”

Piper calls Phoebe back and asks if Leo is about to break-up with her. Phoebe looks like she’s almost going to spill but then says she should ask Leo. Phoebe leaves and Piper unfreezes time. Leo carries on with his break-up speech and Piper asks if he’s married. Engaged? Leo goes with “involved” but not in the way she thinks. He just can’t stay in San Francisco. Calmly, Piper says she  understands. He’s a nice guy and all, but he’s “geographically undesirable.” She gives him a kiss and leaves.

Phoebe comes in to ask how it went, but we hear a tinkling sound effect. Leo touches his forehead and says he has to go right away.

Aut0shop. The Thugs pack up their felonymobile. Prue is still having that heart to heart with Max and he even goes so far as to wish Prue were his mom. LOL. Anyway, Max’s power is psychokinesis, which means he can move things he can’t see. The Thugs say it’s time to get moving, but Mr. Franklin shows up. Thug 1 tells Thug 2 to load the witches into the van. Mr. Franklin begs for his son. Thug 1 shoots him. Neither of the 2 witches who can move things with their minds saved him. They do cry, though.

Felonymobile. They arrive at the bank and Prue tells Max to cooperate so they can get back to his dad. Max turns off all the alarms and in they go. Thug 2 starts grabbing money from the vault as Thug 1 holds the witches hostage. Prue finally whispers to Max to us his power on the bomb. Max does and the alarms inside the bank start going off. Guards appear and Thug 2 shoots at them, but Prue telekinesises them out of the way. She then throws the Thugs into the vault and locks them in there. Prue grabs Max, who wonders if they should wait for the police and explain everything. LOL. He’s so new.

Mr. Franklin is dying from a gunshot wound when tinkly music starts up and a burst of white light floats about the autoshop. Mr. Franklin calls for his wife, but no. It’s Leo. He says it isn’t time for Mr. F to rejoin his wife. He needs to be with his son and raise him well. Leo heals Mr. F and twinkles away just as Prue is driving in. Prue asks about the marked lack of blood and wound and Mr. F says it’s a miracle. Prue echoes Leo’s words and says to raise the boy well. Mr. F says there is somewhere they need to go.

Cut to Mrs. F’s grave and Mr. F asks Max to forgive him for being angry about the whole secret powers thing. They hug and Prue watches happily.

Manor. The girls are back to attic cleaning. Prue says she learned her lesson about going to fight evil alone. Piper says Prue missed saying goodbye to Leo. Piper felt like he was holding back some secret and Phoebe quickly tells them about Leo being a White Lighter. Except, they think that is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS and don’t believe her. Sometimes I hate this show.

And then we end on Prue deciding to keep some toys because she does want kids.

Next time on Charmed: An earthquake unearths something called a Woogy and it sounds kind of cute in S01 E15 – Is There a Woogy in the House?

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.