Previously: Rachel Leigh Cook guest-starred, resulting in an amazing amount of She’s All That gifs.
To Be or Not to Be…
Democracy Diva: Shrine O’Spielberg. Jack has made a perfect scaled exact replica of Capeside for Dawson to use in his movie. It looks like something that would take months to do, but sure, let’s pretend he just did this over the weekend!
Kirsti: Come on, Diva. We’ve already established that time moves differently in Capeside. Given that Dawson and Joey’s first kiss seemed to last for like six months when the seasons are taken into consideration, Jack’s probably had tons of time!
Diva: Anyway, Pacey leaves to do homework, because that’s a thing he does now, and Dawson tries to urge Jack to leave too. But Jack won’t take the bait, and wants to stay and help out with the movie. Things are awkward, but they agree to put their Joey issues aside. Jack has to write a poem for class, and asks Dawson for writing tips. (Jack, don’t encourage him.) Dawson says approximately 8,000 gigantic words and I stop listening has he zooms in on his “perfect creekside village.” Ugh.
Post-credits, Sweet Old Man Teacher Mr. Milo approaches Pacey to congratulate him on making academics his bitch. He got three Bs and two As! I’m so proud (K: ME TOO. I squealed at the screen). So is Mr. Milo, and Pacey literally skips through the halls, he’s so happy. He runs into Andie and spins her around for a big joyful kiss. Jack tries to mack on Joey, but she’s all, ew, PDA is gross. Dawson asks Jack about something for the movie. When everyone else leaves, Joey says it was nice to see the two of them getting along, but she says it in a voice that makes it sound like she’s pissed. I can’t decide if that’s a choice or if Katie Holmes’s acting is getting even worse. Anyway, Joey and Dawson do their version of flirting, which is gently shoving each other, because they’re idiots.
Elsewhere in Capeside High of Terrible Romantic Interactions, Ty the bible study enthusiast approaches Jen and calls her a helpless llama. LOL I LOVE BEING COMPARED TO PREY AMIRITE LADIES? Ty wants to know if the bible study freaked her out, and insists that’s not all he is. Listen, buddy, going to bible study is totally fine. Going out on a date, telling the girl you’re taking her to a party, and actually surprising her with bible study is a TOTALLY different thing. Like, a really fucking weird thing.
K: SERIOUSLY. And if you’re trying to tell a girl “Hey, BTW, religion is a pretty big deal for me”, there’s a really simple way to do it without taking her to Surprise Bible Study: USE YOUR WORDS.
Diva: YUUUUP. Jen says religion would inevitably be a roadblock in their relationship, but he says he’s not giving up, because “most women admire persistence.” I don’t even have time to get into all my issues with that sentence. But Jen khaleesi-s that she is not most women.
English class. For a second, Pacey’s panicking because he can’t find his poem, but he finally hands it in. Cranky Teacher sarcastically reads the title of his poem aloud and makes fun of his handwriting. Pacey is hurt and says he worked hard, but Cranky Teacher says handwriting is half your grade.
K: What the fuck, Cranky Teacher?? Also, by 1998, all my assignments had to be typed unless we wrote them in class.
Diva: I think my school didn’t know what computers were in 1998. Anyway, Cranky Teacher tells Pacey he can hand it in now and get a D, or turn it in for a low grade tomorrow because it’s late. Pacey is like, uh, that’s so not fair, and Jack agrees, under his breath. Cranky Teacher now turns to Jack to attack him instead. He orders Jack to read his poem aloud for the class, even though he promised the students these poems would only be read by him. Jack says about four million times that he does not want to read it, but Cranky Teacher insists.
Jack reads the poem, which is about how afraid he is of what he could be. He’s shaking and almost crying as he reveals that this love poem is about a guy and the guilt he feels. Before Jack can finish reading it, he bursts into tears and runs out of the classroom. Pacey tries to follow him, but Cranky Teacher refuses to let him, because he is the worst person alive. Pacey gives him major stink-eye.
K: I do too, but with a side of “Jack, honey, why would you write that poem for class? Sure, write the poem. But put it on LiveJournal or whatever the hell the 1998 equivalent was. Don’t give Cranky Teacher more ammunition to be a big bag of dicks.”
Diva: I have a feeling that “Put it on LiveJournal” is advice we’re going to give to these characters a LOT. Later that day, Joey and Dawson are sitting next to each other and giggling and generally being nauseating. But they overhear a bunch of bros gossiping about how Jack is gay.
Ice House. Joey tells Dawson that she hasn’t talked to Jack about what happened yet, because he’s still upset. Joey says she’s heard the gossip and it’s ridiculous and obviously a lie. Dawson isn’t so sure, and Joey immediately gets defensive. Dawson is just trying to help, but agrees with me that Joey’s being super-defensive about this. She insists that’s not true, and Dawson’s trying to invent bullshit drama to ruin her relationship. That is what Dawson does approximately 93% of the time, but actually, that’s not what he’s doing right now.
K: And slightly too gleefully for my liking…
Diva: Pacey and Andie study sesh. Jack leaves to go to the Ice House, and Pacey notes how cold Andie was to him. Andie insists that she knows Jack better than Pacey does, and he’s always been a little different and it was stupid to expose himself to Cranky Teacher and write that poem. Pacey insists that Andie should talk to her brother about the poem, because maybe it wasn’t “misinterpreted.” Andie takes the Joey approach and says obviously that’s a lie and Jack is not gay. Pacey asks how she would feel if he was, and she admits she would be disappointed. Pacey immediately judges her, and Andie says, don’t attack me for my hypothetical feelings about something that will never happen. Pacey’s all, well, I hope that’s true, for Jack’s sake.
K: Excuse me while I jump on my Pacey Witter soapbox again: how many sixteen year old boys in 1998, upon finding out that one of their friends might be gay, would just be like “that’s cool” and roll with it to the point of defending said friend’s possible life choices to their slightly judgey sister? As my notes say, “this kid is hella well adjusted”.
Diva: Further proof that Intern Pacey is flawless.
Jen’s phone rings and of course, it’s Ty. She denies his request for a date, and hangs up. The phone rings again. This is horrific. She declines and hangs up again. THE PHONE RINGS A THIRD TIME. I AM GOING TO CALL 911 ON YOU, TY. After approximately the 8,000th time Ty asks, Jen agrees to go out on a date. Wow, you literally refused to give her a moment’s peace until she agreed to go out with you, and so she agreed! That’s such an achievement, Ty. You should be so proud that you’re enough of an asshole to exhaust a girl into dating you.
K:
Diva: *bows*
Ice House. Bessie tells Joey to go fucking deal with her boyfriend and his issues. She tries to follow Bessie’s advice and gives Jack a, “long day, huh?” But he is not even having it with her small talk, and tells her to ask whatever the fuck she wants to ask. Joey apologizes and says, just tell me why you wrote that poem, and Jack insists he doesn’t have to tell her anything. Joey (pretty reasonably, for her part) says, yeah, that’s true, but since I’m dating you, it would be nice for me to know why you wrote a poem that made you cry about a guy. Jack insists that there was nothing sexy about the poem and it wasn’t gay. He doesn’t know why it made him cry, it just hit a nerve when he was reading it. Jack knows that’s a shitty explanation but it’s all he has, and he tells Joey to take it or leave it. She takes it, and he says that if he wrote a love poem, it would only be about her.
Meanwhile, Ty and Jen are at a jazz club, or something? I don’t know, and I don’t care. I think we’re supposed to think Ty is cool now, but I’m still all:
K: Legit reaction is legit. Also, this is a hella weird date for a 16 year old to go on to prove that he’s not a weirdo.
Diva: Don’t worry, I have a plethora of Beyoncé reaction gifs saved for future use.
At school the next day, Jack’s poem has been posted everywhere. In English class, Cranky Teacher wants Jack to continue reading the rest of the poem, knowing that it’s now public knowledge. Again, Jack says he doesn’t want to, but Cranky Teacher will straight-up fail him for refusing to read this fucking poem out loud. Jack wants to know why Cranky Teacher is doing this to him. SO DO I. (K: ME TOO. Cranky Teacher is the actual fucking worst OMG) Pacey stands up for Jack – literally – and gets all up in Cranky Teacher’s face. Pacey says he’ll read the damn thing, and he does. But Cranky Teacher rips the poem out of Pacey’s hand and screams at him and sends him to the principal. But Pacey won’t be intimidated by Cranky Teacher’s bullshit scare tactics. Cranky Teacher then threatens to fail him, even though he’s never gotten below a B on an assignment. But Cranky Teacher doesn’t care about things like grades, because teaching Pacey is like spitting in the face of the educational system.
And so Pacey SPITS IN HIS FACE. And storms out.
Principal’s office, where Pacey is refusing to apologize. Sweet Mr. Milo insists that Pacey was provoked, but the principal tells Pacey to apologize by tomorrow or he’ll be suspended. Jack is waiting outside the office, and insists he didn’t need Pacey to make a spectacle. He accuses Pacey of being addicted to playing the hero. Jack, I get that everything is a mess for you right now, but that was out of line and totally unfair.
Andie wants to know if Pacey is going to apologize, but he says he’d rather take the suspension. Dawson and Andie both think that Pacey was wrong to spit in his face. Cut to Jack, showing Joey the pamphlets about being gay that the guidance counselor gave him. Back to Andie, Pacey, and Dawson: Andie reminds Pacey that he’ll be back at square one after all his hard work if he takes this suspension. But Pacey tells Andie that she’s the reason he believes in himself and trusts his own instincts. And his instincts said that Cranky Teacher is Evil (K: Legit instinct, Pacey). Suddenly they turn around and see Jack and Joey approaching his locker.
After seeing the crowd’s reactions, Joey walks over to Jack and says “kiss me.” They make out in front of the lockers, and everyone continues gossiping.
At home, Andie is apologizing to Jack for avoiding him. She admits to resenting him for being one more family thing she needed to worry about, but she read his poem and thinks it’s beautiful. She doesn’t know or care whether it means he’s gay, but she knows that whoever wrote it is scared. Andie wants Jack to know she’s there for him, and he’s not alone.
Joey runs to Leery Manor, via the window, natch. She awkwardly asks for Dawson’s advice. She admits he might have been right about Jack being gay, but she can’t just ask him. And now it’ll just be the gay elephant in the room. Dawson then gets serious and tells her to be honest with him if she wants their relationship to work. Wait, is Dawson being helpful and not selfish and giving good relationship advice? What show am I even watching? (K: He does it all while looking slightly happy, though, just to remind us that he’s a bit of a dick) Anyway, Joey thanks him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Dawson gets broodface.
Capeside High. Pacey is considering apologizing and realizes Dawson thinks he was in the wrong. Dawson says he can’t judge if he wasn’t there, but he wouldn’t have spit in Cranky Teacher’s face. Pacey wants to know if Dawson will be ashamed of him if he can’t apologize, but Dawson insists he could never, ever be ashamed of Pacey. Pacey gives the tiniest little smile, and I have all the feels. Dawson has been a good friend to TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE this episode. This is nothing short of a miracle.
In the principal’s office, Pacey says he is ashamed of what he did in that classroom; it was wrong, and he apologizes for it. But he will never apologize for its intention. Because all day, every day, students are under the complete and total control of their teachers and administrators, and they never question it. Because they believe that the authority figures know what’s right. But Cranky Teacher destroyed that. He publicly humiliated Jack, and Pacey will never respect that. He wishes everyone a good afternoon and swaggers out, armed in his own awesomeness.
K: NGL, I cheered insanely loudly during this scene. Although part of me wonders how much of it is him using these people as surrogates for his douchebag of a father. He can’t say what he wants to his dad, so he substitutes other authority figures in his place.
Diva: Truth. I didn’t even think about Pacey’s massive daddy issues, but that’s spot-on.
Andie interrupts Pacey’s creekside brooding to ask how things went. He’s suspended for a week; it could have been worse. But mostly, Pacey’s upset because Andie wouldn’t support him. She says she can’t support everything he does, and Pacey clarifies that she doesn’t have to agree with him, but she does have to be there for him. Andie is all, fuck that, I challenge one thing you do and you throw it in my face? He then brings up Jack, and says Andie wasn’t there for him either. But Andie explains that she apologized to Jack, and she came here to apologize to Pacey too. But Jack didn’t do anything wrong, and Pacey did. They fight about whether he should have spat in Cranky Teacher’s face or not, until Pacey confesses that he bears all the responsibility for this. If Pacey hadn’t instigated Cranky Teacher in the first place, he never would have gone after Jack. Andie wishes Pacey would have told her how he feels, but he says she just didn’t want to hear it. He leaves, and she tears up, and dammit, I just want these two to be happy. And I want everyone else on this show to not exist.
K: I have so many feels about Pacey feeling responsible. So. Many. Feels.
Diva: Ice House. With no preamble, Joey asks Jack if he’s gay. She speed-word-vomits for awhile until Jack says no, he’s not. She’s relieved, and they make out. Joey asks him not to write any more poems for awhile, and he agrees. Spinny-camera makes me nauseous as they kiss and hold each other. Jack whispers, “I’m not gay, Joey. Okay?” “Yeah,” she replies. But the look on Jack’s face gives me hay fever.
K: We should probably stock up on tissues before the next episode, shouldn’t we…
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Jack confronts his feels and so do we, and Pacey’s battle against the establishment continues in S02 15 – … That is the Question.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
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