Previously: Eliza Dushku basically played Faith trying to protect a pop-star.
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Gray Hour
Marines: Mountains Somewhere. We hear a woman moaning and I’m pretty sure it’s done specifically in a way so the first thing you think is, “sexy time.” But no. Some woman is giving birth and now I just feel all awkward. (S: Best PSA ever! YOU THINK SEXY TIME FEELS GOOD, KIDS? WELL THIS IS WHERE IT LEADS.) Echo is the midwife and WHY? WHY WOULD ECHO BE THE MIDWIFE? Are these parents on the run from the law? Is that baby the second coming of some deity? Did part of the job include scaling the mountain before assuming midwiferly duties? NO? No need for a doll to be the midwife.
Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.
Sweeney: I mean, that would certainly be a more solid ethical framing than the “Let’s not think about it too much,” they’re going with, peppering in lovely birth scenes so that we can all go, “See, the jobs aren’t all potential murders and rapes! Look, BABIES!”
Mari: Speaking of that baby, it is huge and the birth canal is not. Echo talks the mom through it and tells her she’ll forget all about this scary, painful stuff. (I believe it, too. That’s how second children are even possible.) The Birthing Momma screams that she wants to forget and that takes us from that scene, to the flashes of memory of the assignment, all the way to the Mind Wipe Recliner. Echo asks if she fell asleep. “For a little while,” etc.
Later, it’s the Dollhouse equivalent of lunchtime, I guess. Sierra walks with her lunch tray and Echo greets her. Sierra takes a seat and admits she wasn’t certain where to sit. They have Doll-Talk about swimming lots of laps and being their best. Sierra also isn’t certain how to know if she’s her best. Echo thinks trying to do your best is best. The camera pans to her left to reveal Victor there as well. He says every day is a chance to be better and munches loudly on some raw-looking broccoli.
Boyd and Topher are watching them and Topher tells his “man-friend” that they keep sitting together, even at the same table. They are flocking, instinctively.
Stephanie: Topher got his outfit from The Brady Bunch.
Sweeney: It’s better than the low rent Shaggy from Scooby Doo Halloween costume he sports later.
Mari: All of that reminds me that I’ve seen this on Tumblr:
Anyhow, Boyd argues that the Dolls didn’t used to be bison-ish. Topher reminds him (and us!) that they volunteered for this. “So we’re told,” Boyd says as he leaves
Cut to Adelle’s office. She’s telling a new client that his is a high risk engagement. He makes sure that she doesn’t know what the engagement is and she assures him she doesn’t. The computers are the ones calculating the risk. Adelle excuses herself to answer the phone. She’s clearly talking to her boss and we see an open file with pictures of Paul and Victor. Adelle says Paul needs closure and they are the experts in giving people what they need.
After the call, Balding Client says he’ll pay more if he has to. It isn’t even for him, either. It’s a gift.
Cut to Echo in thigh high leather boots, hiking up her skirt and pushing up her boobs and hair. She puts a lipstick tube in her boots and looks at the mirror and says, “five by five.” JUST KIDDING. That’s a catchphrase from another day, friends. She says, “blue skies.”
Cut to Blue Skies!Echo having a grand ole time.
Stephanie: She never spits that cherry stem out. Is it okay to eat those? …Not important.
Sweeney: It is important though because I was plagued by the same concern and regardless of the unresolved concerns about her digestive system, the priority here is that I am assured I was not alone.
Mari: Cherry stem swallowed, she gyrates on some guy’s leg as one of his friends wishes his grandfather would get him a girl like that for his bachelor party. (Thanks for filling us in, dude!) Bachelor says he’s going to have fun with Blue Skies!Echo (Taffy) (TAFFY?), who says that’s totally cool with her because it’s all blue skies. Their giggling and squealing attracts the attention of a security guard who nicely suggests they take the party to their rooms. He even throws in some complimentary bottles of champagne if they just GTFO. We see Bachelor carrying Taffy!Echo off and we suddenly cut to her running down a hotel hallway. She’s screaming for someone to help her. There’s a little streak of blood on her lip. She runs right into the security guard from earlier and Bachelor and his friend back-off and head back into their room.
The security guard ushers Taffy into a back office guarded with a keypad. She wants to get out of there ASAP because despite her profession, what those guys did was not okay. The security guard pulls out a wad of cash and tells her it could be hers if she signs a piece of paper saying she won’t take legal action against the hotel or the guests. Taffy tells him, “no thanks,” and knocks the $10,000 to the floor as she turns for the door. The security guard bends to pick it up and Taffy knees him IN THE FACE. He’s out cold and Taffy makes a call: she’s in. She tells whoever is on the other line the door code and gives us one final, “blue skies!” before the teaser is over.
Stephanie: Topher likes to give the dolls useless traits, so I’m guessing Taffy is also a pilot. That’s the only thing that explains the stupid catchphrase.
Mari: LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.
Post-credits, Taffy is changing her clothes and we see that the dudes from the “bachelor party” are actually all hired thieves. They are moving some cabinets around and preparing some explosives. Taffy drugs the security guard and exposits about the no-kill order on this job. She’s in charge of the merry band, but they are all working for a client. A client who apparently didn’t actually tell them shit-all about the mission except perhaps, “bring explosives and wear dark turtlenecks!” because Taffy keeps on with the gigantic dose of exposition: in about 5 minutes, the building on the other side of the wall is going to shut down their security system for one hour -a gray hour- in order to upgrade it. Security guards will be patrolling the perimeter and aren’t allowed in the vault during the gray hour.
Taffy, you are annoying, but fake internet rules are fake internet rules:
Stephanie: Aw, I don’t know if I’d call Taffy annoying. I like seeing a woman be the boss of everything. I’m gonna blame the acting.
Sweeney: I blame neither. Taffy is so Faith-esque that Eliza can actually play her reasonably well! And I find her endearing because Faith. I’ll blame the recapping process.
Mari: Mostly it was all the “blue skies.”
They blow out the wall and make their way over to a vault. Taffy starts stroking it lovingly and trying to break into it all while giving a speech about Bonnie and Clyde’s failings as criminals. She tells the boys to keep it down while she works, but she’s the one who will not shut up. No matter. She gets into the vault in like 3.5 seconds. Inside they find a large art work collection. The shorter dude in the glasses starts skipping around, checking stuff out until Taffy directs his attention to their specific purpose. She shows him a drawing and tells him that’s what they are looking for. Bachelor asks what it is and the Art Expert announces over very dramatic music, “The Parthenon.”
Paul arrives home and slowly settles down on the couch. He’s up again quickly as he turns and points his gun just behind him. Lubov!Victor says, “don’t shoot!” Paul is pretty pissed on account of last time he listened to Lubov, he got shot in the gut. Lubov begs for protection. He only passed the tip onto Paul because it was passed onto him. The Borodins used him to get to Paul, meaning they know he’s talking to the FBI. Paul shouts a lot and shoves a picture of Caroline in Lubov’s face, but he has no idea who she is. Paul tells Lubov that if he helps, he never wants to see Lubov again. Lubov agrees so Paul tells him to stay put while he sees what he can do.
Vault. Art Expert is giving the band of thieves a history lesson on the Elgin Marbles. The others speculate that they’ve been hired by Greece to steal them back. Bachelor asks Taffy out for a drink post-heist and she tells him to ask her again later, which is pretty fair. You shouldn’t make romantic decision mid-thieving. We see why when Art Expert grabs the piece they came for and makes a run for it. They run toward him and Art Expert takes a near by sword and stabs Tech Guy in the gut. Art Expert closes the vault and escapes.
Taffy places a call to Boyd and tells him he has a double crosser coming his way. Boyd asks if she’s okay, and she says she can get them out of the vault, but it won’t matter if their client isn’t happy. They’re about to end the call when suddenly there is some high pitched, “THIS IS ONLY A TEST” type squealing and whining. Taffy drops the phone and blinks. With any other actress, this might’ve been a huge, “OH CRAP” moment, but with Eliza Dushku, it just looks like she blinks and asks, “did I fall asleep?” It’s the dialogue that clues us into the fact that something has gone wrong.
Stephanie: A huge “OH CRAP” moment ruined by Eliza Dushku’s one-note acting is a good way to summarize this entire series.
Mari: Topher is talking about science. (It’s best if I leave it there.) He’s talking to a female lab tech who complains about having to pick up his snacks for him. He threatens to withhold science-y knowledge which wins the lab tech over. Topher starts babbling about humility being part of the learning process when Lab Tech notices something wrong with Echo’s vitals.
Vault. Echo is on the floor, asking herself if she should go over and over again. Bachelor tries to call out on Echo’s phone but it doesn’t work. He then says some gross thing about having dated his fair share of crazies and tries to speak some sense into Echo. When that fails, he smacks her. That also fails.
Outside, Art Expert is lugging his stolen goodies away, about as winded as I would be mid-sculpture heist. He runs straight into Boyd and tries to escape by dropping the Elgin Marbles on him and running. Boyd grabs the Marbles and shoots Art Expert in the leg to stop him from getting away. Art Expert cries that Boyd shot him and his response is, “barely.” I have to side with Art Expert on that one. Crying still necessary.
Sweeney: I’m not sure Boyd fully understands how these words work. There’s not really a “barely” on this one.
Mari: In his spazzy way, Topher tries to tell Adelle and Dominic that something is wrong with Echo. Dominic tries to write him off, but Topher insists that he “wove more than one thread of unflappable into that tapestry.” And he probably left out the asthma this time! Topher admits he already tried calling Echo and gets very stern looks from Adelle. Their attention is redirected when Dominic plays the last phone call between Taffy and Boyd. Topher hears the This Is Only A Test whine and freaks out. He takes FOREVER telling us that whatever is happening is impossible before finally telling us what it is: a remote wipe. Adelle thought that was impossible and Topher clarifies that it is untested and a bad idea and he doesn’t know how to do them. Dominic starts to head off to salvage the mission but Topher stops him to say that being wiped is traumatic. Like being born. BORN, YOU SEE? LIKE THE BABY WHO NEEDED A MOUNTAIN CLIMBING MIDWIFE IN THE TEASER.
Doesn’t this moment feel so much richer because we had 2 minutes of Echo delivering a baby? (Of course it doesn’t. That was dumb.)
Stephanie: I didn’t even make that connection, so yeah, still pointless.
Mari: The point is that Echo is experiencing sensory overload and it could result in a coma (another one for Dushku…) (S: She’s good at those!) or she could go all Carrie at the prom. They need to help her either way.
In the vault, Bachelor is done with the slapping and is trying to use his words again. He makes Echo repeat things like, “I am Taffy,” and “I can get us out of here,” but it isn’t really working. Echo keeps saying, “I try to do my best.” Bachelor gives up and Tech Guy, all bloody from his gut wound, says Taffy is gone and isn’t coming back. Meanwhile, at the Dollhouse, Sierra has just finished being imprinted. Adelle introduces herself to Taffy, New Taffy, who then cocks a smile and says, “blue skies.” Aw, no, not you too Sierra. I like you.
Echo is looking around at some of the art and examines a Picasso-like one:
Echo says it’s broken and the bleeding Tech Guy can’t help but grumble, “look who’s talking.” He goes on some spiel about how art is supposed to feel right and show us who we are. I’m going to take a guess and say this is significant because Echo is all, you know, broken.
New Taffy is arguing with Adelle about how the Parthenon job was supposed to be hers. Adelle says it was the client’s decision, causing New Taffy to echo a line First Taffy said earlier about never second guessing a client and wearing comfy shoes. New Taffy’s last objection is that she learned to lap dance. Finally they tell her they’ll pay twice her fee for help extracting Echo and the team. She agrees but asks to see the cash first.
Topher is giving some wicked crazy eyes to the Lab Tech as he tells her that he suspects that a gigantic, multi-pronged conspiracy is behind the wipe. Because he’s so damn good, no one person could take him down, I guess. He calls Boyd, who doesn’t have a clue about Echo’s wipe. After Topher fills him in, he also yells, “it’s not my fault!” It’s like he can hear Boyd stand and assume the murder pose through the phone.
New Taffy and Adelle are still in the office reviewing the blueprints. Boyd calls Adelle and she tells him there is nothing he can do, but they are working on a solution. Boyd asks what happens if it doesn’t work and she tells him to be prepared. Back in the Stalkermobile, Boyd asks Art Expert to draw him a map to the access point his team used.
Bleeding Tech Guy and Echo sit and look at a painting of a SNOW COVERED MOUNTAIN. (S: We really underestimated that opening scene. Deep as shit.) Echo says she likes the sky and Tech Guy is all, “I KNOW.” She asks him what her name is (Taffy, he replies), but she has a feeling her name was different when she was on the mountain. Tech Guy starts rifling through his bag, explaining to Echo that they are bad guys and when they get caught, they’ll go to prison, which is a place with no sky. He takes out a syringe and almost injects himself but Bachelor swoops in and says they aren’t taking the easy way out. He’s lifting the no-kill order and when the doors open, they are going to shoot their way out. So, probably, just die anyways.
Lab Tech is at the fridge again. 3/3 times we’ve seen this girl, she’s been near or around the fridge. And I mean, if I had to do science all day, I’d probably be around the fridge as much as I could too. (S: Having to do science all day isn’t even a necessary condition for me on this one.) Topher is still lost in his conspiracy theories until he decides there is only one person who could’ve done the remote wipe and he’s dead.
New Taffy is having no luck reaching Echo on her cell phone. New Taffy explains that there is glass in the vault door and someone trying to drill from the inside out would shatter it and set off the alarms. Resin, however, would cause the glass to crack not shatter. And then…? You’ve drilled a hole in the door and it will open? I don’t know guys. Vault doors aren’t my department either. Either way, the gray hour is over.
Stephanie: I was really hoping you would get the drilling thing and then I could be all, “yup, yup. I knew that too.”
Sweeney: I don’t think anyone’s really surprised that we don’t have a Vault Robbing Department at Imaginary Snark HQ.
Mari: It explains so much, really, about why we blog for totally free.
Echo discovers her phone in her pocket and picks it up this time because of plot. The security systems are coming on one at a time, so if they can get the vault open before motion detectors come on, they’ll be good. New Taffy instructs Echo to search her bra and boot for the resin and nozzle. She also needs a drill, which Bachelor has on hand. Echo goes to the door and New Taffy tells her that she has to stop drilling on command. Echo does so successfully. Next, Echo spays some resin in the little hole. Finally, Echo has to reposition the drill and turn it on again, careful not to move her hand. We can assume she does move her hand (it kind of seems like she pushes the drill forward too forcefully) and the alarms start blaring. Bachelor is so pissed he smashes the phone and thus ends the call.
Stephanie: No one understands what the fuck that drill was supposed to do.
Mari: The guards will be in the vault in 45 seconds. Adelle thanks New Taffy for her services and tells her it’s time for her treatment. She grabs her cash and goes. Adelle looks so sad as Dominic says Boyd may have to neutralize Echo. Adelle suggests sending two other agents out since Boyd might not have the distance to get the job done. Dominic says he’s sorry and Adelle is as well.
Dominic takes New Taffy in for her treatment and gets more sad looks from Topher as he asks about Echo.
In the vault, Bleeding Tech Guy is trying to teach Echo how to surrender, but Bachelor gives her a gun instead, telling her she’s going to have to shoot. When the vault doors open, Bachelor tells Echo to shoot, or else he’ll shoot her. She stares us into a Not!Break, but when we’re back, Echo spots the syringe from early. She grabs it and jams it into Bachelor’s neck. He goes down and starts shooting at the guards. Echo goes back to Bleeding Tech Guy and pulls out a smoke bomb. He throws it and tells her that she’ll be able to escape now.
Boyd runs through the hotel.
Bachelor keeps on shooting.
Bleeding Tech Guy tells Echo to go on ahead with out him. Boyd makes it to the security guard’s office and what he sees is Echo helping Bleeding Tech Guy out. I’m not clear on how they managed to hobble out past all of those guards, smoke or no smoke, but let’s assume Bachelor took out most of them. Boyd grabs Tech Guy and Echo announces that he’s broken. Boyd tries to help Echo down but she confidently says that she isn’t broken. Boyd agrees. She isn’t.
Ballard gets back home and Lubov!Victor is still waiting for him. Lubov asks what his new identity will be (S: “I got the good American accent.”) and Ballard is all, “ACTUALLY. I just ran out to put you on every lookout list ever.” Lubov is confused by his own plot line (probably) as Ballard explains (I use the term lightly) that he knows all about Russian murder methods so if they kill Lubov, it’ll give him lots of information.
Echo gets wiped and we get a longer-than-usual montage of her memories in the vault, all leading back to when she was remote wiped.
Adelle’s office. She instructs Dominic to get the Elgin Marbles to their client the next morning. He asks about Art Expert and Adelle says they can have him too. Dominic leaves and Topher enters. He’s put Echo through every test he could think of and she’s okay- wiped clean with no permanent damage. Topher tells her about his theory that Alpha is alive and behind the remote wipe and Adelle pushes some papers toward him. He thinks he’s being fired, but actually, she wants him to sign them so she can up his security clearance. Topher takes this to mean that he’s right and Alpha is alive. Topher says he’s scared, “like a little girl,” (groan) and Adelle tells him again to sign the papers. She’s going to tell him everything she knows about Alpha and he’s going to tell her how they can stop the remote wipe from every happening again.
Sia sings us through a montage of Echo walking through the Dollhouse, taking a swim, sitting at the bottom of the pool, taking a communal shower and then drawing a bit of the painting from earlier in a steamy mirror before wiping it away.
It’s a little more obvious now that we’re recapping how formulaic these first handful of episodes are. Echo gets sent on a mission, something goes wrong, Echo retains some bit of information. The first two times we saw her do something that made it clear she was retaining at least a little, it was shocking. Here, I feel like I’m hitting the point of, “ALRIGHT ALREADY!”
That said, though, this show is pretty good at feeding us little morsels of information. I can see why this would frustrate some people. It also does well at raising new questions. We see that Sierra, Victor and Echo are “grouping” but this raises the question of what the Dolls remember or what sort of information goes into the resting state. It also, without much fanfare, raises more ethical questions as we see that the Dolls are left in a pretty helpless state without their own personalities or an imprint.
Also, thinking back on that snowy mountain opening scene makes me laugh. It’s almost like the show’s been all, “but look! We reunite fathers and daughters, help suicidal pop stars and deliver babies!” As much as they delude themselves with their own “we help people!” propaganda, what we see here is just good, old fashioned theft. They supposedly asked no questions of the client. They don’t even care what he wants with the Active, as long as he pays the right price. That is the Dollhouse.
Next time on Dollhouse: Echo gets sent into a cult blindly. Like, actually blind. Find out what happens in S01 E05 – True Believer.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a miniature adult who still gets offered the kid's coloring menu at restaurants. I like to pretend I'm an illustrator, but mostly I spend my time complaining about TV on Twitter. My life dream is to have my consciousness placed into an android body so that I'll have more time to watch/read things.
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