Previously: Dawson and Mitch sorted out their differences, Jack won a football game, and Henry paid $500 to kiss Jen.
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Indian Summer
Kirsti: Shrine o’ Spielberg. Due to their sad tragic single status and the fact that it’s apparently a million degrees, movie night’s list of attendees has been reduced to Dawson and Pacey. It may also have something to do with how much they’re sweating. Seriously, it’s gross:
I love you, but no.
Democracy Diva: For real. They don’t even look like they’re sweating – they just look like they’re covered in baby oil.
K: YES. Which, to be honest, they probably were.
Pacey bemoans the state of their lives, and also how much Indian summer sucks, thereby earning himself a shiny gold star. Good work, Intern Pacey! Please shower before you stop by Snark HQ to pick it up, yeah?
Dawson whinges that he has to write a paper about film noir, which he totally can’t understand. Pacey points out that it, unlike the world of Spielberg, is ambiguous and riddled with anti-heroes and therefore it makes total sense that Dawson wouldn’t understand it. Dawson gets all offended and I laugh. Pacey leaves (through the door because apparently only girls climb in the window), and Dawson walks over to the window, hoping for a breeze. He sees a torchlight moving around inside Chez Grams and immediately calls the police to report a possible robbery. Then, because he’s an idiot, he rushes over there and catches the culprit in the act. It’s Eve, who grins at him.
Diva: Because obviously she just magically appears whenever the story has a gap to fill. Does she even do anything all day, or does she turn invisible whenever she’s not needed to make Dawson question his moral center?
K: Definitely that turning invisible thing.
HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH.
After the credits, Dawson’s bandaging Eve’s grazed elbow in the Shrine o’ Spielberg and demanding an explanation. She sarcastically claims to be sleeping with Jen. He eyerolls and demands the truth or he’ll hand her over to the police. She points out that she can tell the police all about the stolen PSATs, and he’s all “The fuck? YOU stole that”. She has no fucks to give because it’s fun to torment Dawson and “the rest of the Sweet Valley High extras you call your friends“. Legit assessment. Also a nice reminder that Brittany Daniel played Jessica Wakefield in the SVH TV show! Does this count as crossover magic? (D: HELL YES IT DOES.)
Just then, there’s a knock at the door. Dawson judgey stares Eve and heads downstairs to find Deputy Doug at the door. He apologises to Doug and says he thought he saw a burglar but it was just Jen sneaking in so that she didn’t wake Grams up. Doug is as sceptical as I would be when presented with that story, but leaves. Dawson heads back upstairs to find Eve gone and the Saxophone of We’re Trying To Be Film Noir starts up.
Down by the water, Jen and Jack are lying on a quilt staring up at the stars. After some conversation of the utterly pointless sort you have with your best friend, he suggests they head home. Jen disagrees because it’s a perfect moment. Jack’s incredulous about the idea that staring at the stars with your gay best friend could be perfect, and asks if she wouldn’t rather be there with someone else. When Jen suggests Matt Damon or Ben Affleck, he’s all “I was thinking more of Henry”. Jen’s all “LOL NOPE” because Henry’s too sweet and it’s the sweet ones you have to watch out for. She leans her head on Jack’s not insubstantial bicep and says “Besides, I’m already sleeping with the best looking guy on the football team. And best friends are nothing to sneeze at“. BROTP feels.
Diva: Jack’s guns in this scene are OUT OF CONTROL, YOU GUYS. I couldn’t really pay attention to much else.
K: Right there with you, girl.
Jen tells him how jealous she was of Dawson and Joey’s friendship when she first moved to town, and says that their friendship is better because sex will never come between them. Suddenly, the sprinklers come on, and they rush around picking up their stuff and making a run for it as Jen screams.
Marina, the next morning. Our standard establishing shot is all wibbly in a sad attempt at heatwaves, but mostly it makes my eyes go weird. Joey’s cleaning a boat while her Creeper Boss watches from the window. He goes down to join her, offering her a Diet Coke and apparently Dawson’s Creek is now home to some kind of sponsorship cola wars?! IDEK. She reluctantly accepts the drink and sits down. He declares it way too hot and strips off his shirt, which he throws at her. He gestures at his chest and asks if she’ll find it distracting. Joey looks disgusted but says she needs the job so she’ll deal with his gross shirtlessness. He asks her out to the movies that night and her response is pretty fabulous: “Ask me again in two years when I’m legal“.
Diva: A+ pedo-repelling snark, Joey. We approve.
K: Creeper Boss tells her that some other girl will take up the offer and then she’ll be jealous, and Joey’s all “LOL NOPE”. He picks up the hose and sprays her with it, and OH MY GOD I WANT TO KICK THIS PEDO-Y CREEP IN THE JUNK SO HARD. UGH UGH UGH. She yells at him repeatedly to stop before walking away.
Diva: Does this guy get killed by a vampire soon? I know that’s not likely, but maybe if I wish hard enough, I can force a Buffy vamp to take a quick trip to Capeside and murder this douchebag.
K: Or even Buffy herself. She’d make some kind of terrible pun while kicking his miserable butt from here to kingdom come.
Meanwhile, Dawson’s playing film noir detective, trying to track down his own personal femme fatale. We cut between the school office and the strip club where Eve used to work. The school secretary gets all judgey when he doesn’t know where his BFF lives. The manager of the strip club says he can’t possibly be at school with one of his former employees because that would mean his former employee was under age, just like Dawson. Also, I get distracted by the fact that my favourite set dresser has put the chemical formula for alcohol on the wall of the strip club:
Back at Capeside High, the secretary tells him that there’s never been anyone named Eve Whitman at Capeside. Dawson gets “WTF??” face and we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Henry and Jack are rushing to football practice as Jack complains that training in million degree heat must violate child endangerment laws. Henry trails off awkwardly when he sees Jen walking down the corridor, wearing a sundress and sucking an icy pole. Jack eyerolls and tells Henry to just ask Jen out already, but he word vomits about how perfect she is. Jen walks up and informs them that the ice cream man is parked right outside, then offers each of them a lick of her icy pole. Henry can’t answer because of his awkward boner. Jen looks at him a little weirdly, then walks away. Henry facepalms, then tells Jack that he can never ever ask Jen out because “I’d hurl all over her like that little kid in South Park“. Awwww, Stan and Wendy! I’d forgotten about them.
Bless.
Jack suggests a way that Jen and Henry can go on a date without Henry having to ask her out. It basically seems to involve Jen not knowing that she’s going to be on a date, which is totally not cool. But Henry looks thrilled.
Diva: Poor Henry. He’s just trying to find a way to not throw up on this beautiful girl – who wouldn’t take advice on that from the girl in question’s gay bestie? But this is incredibly not cool.
K: Indeed.
Downtown, Dawson tracks down Doug, who’s issuing parking tickets. He tells Doug that he’s writing a film noir screenplay, and needs some help with how a cop would track down a person who didn’t want to be found. Doug says that he needs to know his enemy in order to find them, and asks for information about Dawson’s femme fatale. Dawson says that she’s a lost soul who comes off as a wild child but is sweet underneath. Doug has precisely one suggestion: the laundromat.
Diva: This is a dubious suggestion at best, since we’ve really never seen Eve in anything that resembles clothing, so I’m not sure what she’d be doing in a laundromat.
K: A very valid point.
Cut to Dawson staking out the laundromat in a totally obvious way. Pacey walks up with a couple of drinks, and Dawson mopes about how he knows nothing about Eve. Pacey offers some long-winded movie themed analogy that boils down to “some girls are mysterious, deal”. But Dawson’s not buying it. He wants explanations, dammit! Pacey chuckles and says if he wants film noir, they should go rent Wild Things. As they walk to the video store, Pacey spots Eve at a nearby ice cream stand and says that while Doug’s laundromat theory is occasionally correct, he prefers his father’s pin-the-tail-on-the-suspect approach. They sneak off after Eve.
Marina. Joey’s working when Creeper Boss rings the bell for service. He’s on a date, he says, with a girl her age who’s not afraid to show off a little skin. Joey eyerolls and goes to fill up the boat when Andie walks out on deck. DUDE, NO. Andie informs Joey that Creeper Boss and her dead brother Tim were at school together, and says he’s taking her to the movies seeing as it’s too hot to do anything else. Creeper Boss makes it into a That’s What She Said and makes it really obvious that he’s doing this to make Joey jealous and EW. Joey finishes filling the boat. Creeper Boss tips Joey by shoving money into her breast pocket. She shoves it back at him, and snaps “Save it for bail money“. He and Andie leave as Joey looks worried.
That night, Henry sets up a blanket where Jack and Jen sat the previous night. He’s got notes written on his palm, and mutters to himself as he gets things ready. Jen turns up and Henry word vomits that she’s awesome. She asks what he’s doing there, and when he says he’s just hanging out, she says she’s waiting for Jack. Henry says that Jack had other plans, and Jen gets a slight case of “I’m going to murder my best friend for this” face. Legit, girl. Legit. Henry says that he thought this could be their first date, and Jen tells him coldly “Dating is a consensual activity that usually involves some sort of pre-arrangement. Next time, don’t skip the part where you ask me.” YES, YES, YES. I love Jen Lindley so fucking much, you guys. (D: +1 to all of that.) She storms off, leaving Henry to pack up his blanket.
Dawson and Pacey follow Eve to the docks, which is toooooooooootally stalking, and watch her go onto a boat and change her clothes as the Saxophone of Film Noir does its thing.
Diva: We see the silhouette of Eve taking off her bikini top – but her shadow has no nipples. THE MYSTERY DEEPENS.
K: It’s the deepest thing about Eve, really.
Clothes changed, Eve leaves the boat, and the boys hide as she walks past them. Pacey goes to follow her, and Dawson says he’s going to check out the boat. Pacey dashes off, and Dawson heads onto the boat and rummages through Eve’s stuff, finding a photo of a young blonde woman. He pockets the photo and goes to leave, but is greeted by Doug announcing that he’s under arrest. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dawson tells Doug that he’s totally not breaking and entering because the boat belongs to a friend. Doug’s all “ORLY?” because the boat actually belongs to an eighty-something couple who spend their summers in Capeside and the rest of the year in New York. Dawson awkwards that he must have been on the wrong boat, and Doug says it’s far more likely that Dawson’s friend/femme fatale is the person they’ve been looking for who stole a speedboat a few weeks ago. Dawson pleads ignorance, but Doug’s not buying it. Pacey returns for the obligatory jokes about Doug’s sexuality. Ugh.
Does this look like the face of a guy you’d want to threaten?!
Dawson and Pacey giggle, and Doug orders them to leave the dock. As they go, Pacey tells Dawson that Eve lost him in an instant.
Cut to to Joey at the grand reopening of the movie theatre. She peers in to see Andie and Creeper Boss sitting together, but Creeper Boss is looking around like he’s waiting for someone to turn up. Andie walks out to the foyer and spots Joey, getting all gushy. Joey pulls her aside and tells her to be careful because Creeper Boss is a fucking creeper. Andie has no fucks to give because he’s rich and she doesn’t mind being “a sexual object“. DUDE, NO. THE WORD “OBJECT” SHOULD NEVER BE USED IN THAT CONTEXT. (D: She could have just said “I like sex,” and it would have at least been a little empowering, but no, it had to be “I love being objectified!” WORST.) Joey continues to insist that dating this guy is a terrible plan, providing examples, and Andie turns bitchy, accusing Joey of trying to ruin things for her and saying that Joey has zero experience with guys and that she should be doing what Andie’s doing and move on with her life. She heads back inside and rejoins Creeper Boss.
A few seconds later, Joey – carrying a tray of movie snacks that must have set her back at least $20 – joins them. Andie whispers at her to leave, but Joey whispers back that she’s not leaving Andie alone with Creeper Boss. FISTBUMP OF SOLIDARITY, GIRL.
If you haven’t seen Whip It, please do so immediately.
Diva: I LOVE WHIP IT. It encouraged me to come up with my own roller derby nickname. It’s Ruth Skater Ginsburg.
K: AMAZING.
Andie looks hella awkward as Joey offers a cranky looking Creeper Boss some snacks.
Chez Grams. Jack rummages through the fridge (which contains a Diet Pepsi can. WHO IS SPONSORING THIS SHOW?!) and apologises to Grams for eating all their food all the time since he started playing football. Jen storms in, and demands to know what the fuck Jack was thinking. He says that she’s overreacting and he just wanted to help out a friend who’s a nice guy and who happens to be infatuated with her. “Well, I’m not infatuated with him. And I told you that a thousand times, and you didn’t listen to me,” Jen replies. She glares at him and walks away, leaving Jack sad panda-ing.
Shrine o’ Spielberg. Dawson walks in to find Eve sitting in the window. The saxophone strikes up again as she demands her picture back. He says he wants answers first, specifically what she was doing at Grams’ house. She says she was looking for money for a bus ticket out of Capeside, but Dawson doesn’t believe her, given that an old photo clearly means so much to her. Eve backs away sadly and tells him that yes, she lied about everything. And also, the girl in the picture is her mother, who she’s never met, and the picture is the only clue she has. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dawson demands further information. Eve says that she found the photo at Christmas time, and realised that the girl in the picture looks a lot like her. She asked her parents about it, and they admitted that she’s adopted. So now she’s trying to find her mother to put the missing pieces together. And all she knows is that she lived somewhere on the coast, so she’s moving from town to town trying to find her. She’s exhausted the possibilities in Capeside, so it’s time for her to leave. Dawson hands her the picture and tells her that she may be a lying liar who lies but he believes her. She apologises to him for playing him, and says that she’ll be checking movie credits for his name. They smile at each other and she leaves. Via the window, obviously.
Diva: This makes so little sense it’s astonishing. So she’s just drifting her way from town to town, alone, with nothing but a photograph to go on, stripping to make ends meet, even though she has an actual family at home somewhere? And why does this require her to pose as a high school student? How does she know she’s exhausted her possibilities in Capeside, if literally no one knows she’s there to find her mom?
K: Seriously. Zero sense. ZERO.
Jen lies on a quilt by the water, staring at the stars. Jack walks up and sits down next to her, saying that she’s got it all wrong. He didn’t do it for Henry. He did it for her, because he wanted to show her that all the things she wants are within her reach. She says he doesn’t understand – this was THEIR place and he brought someone else into it. She’s never had a friend who was JUST a boy, someone who liked her for who she is. Also, she thinks Jack setting her up with Henry was more about Jack than anything. He scoffs because he doesn’t like Henry like that, but she says it’s not about Henry, it’s about being lonely for a relationship. He admits that maybe she’s right because Capeside’s gay population is him and him alone, and her reply is sweet and perfect and I just want to hug my BROTP forever and ever:
Diva: Me too, but I’m still mad that this plotline isn’t about Jack and Henry falling in love.
K: Legit. That would have been preferable.
Marina, the next morning. Andie walks up to Joey and tells her that Creeper Boss was a perfect gentleman the previous night and that nothing happened. Joey’s incredulous. Creeper Boss arrives, and says that the next time they have a threesome, he wants to be in the middle. I throw up in my mouth. And then he fires Joey for closing early without his permission. Andie tries to sort it out, but Joey tells her not to bother. She tells Creeper Boss to rot in Hell and storms away. He smirks after her, and Andie looks concerned.
Diva: Creeper Boss is disgusting and terrible and statutory rape-y, but like… Joey is a really shitty employee. For all the mistakes she’s made, I would have fired her by now too. So while she’s right to hate him and think he’s disgusting, this also isn’t really a great example of “he fired me because I won’t fuck him.” Because she’s also terrible at her job.
K: Very true. Also, I’m not quite sure why she didn’t get a job waiting tables at a restaurant in town considering that’s what she was doing at the Icehouse all these years…
Chez Grams. Dawson turns up with a spare air conditioner, and Grams is thrilled. He loses his hold on the air conditioner and it slides to the ground. As he goes to pick it up, he spots a picture of Grams with a young blonde woman, who looks exactly like the one in Eve’s photo. He asks Grams who she is, and she says it’s her daughter, Jen’s mum. Dawson gets “OH SHIT” face, and we fade to black.
Well, that was a thing. There was a lot of stuff I loved, like Joey’s determination to protect Andie, and Jen telling Jack that he fucked up. And I loved Jen reassuring Jack that he won’t be alone forever. But there was also a lot I really didn’t like, including any scene with Dawson in it, and the never ending jokes about Doug’s sexuality. So…yeah.
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Another effing dance because it’s homecoming time! Also, Gail returns to Capeside in S03 E06 – Secrets and Lies.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
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