Previously: A deeply troubling lack of Pacey and Jen. But, you know, Dawson got butthurt which makes everything better. And Jack met a cute boy on the train, but will inevitably get his heart broken because the cute boy is Parker Abrams.
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Barefoot at Capefest
Kirsti: We open at Capeside High. Dawson gushes to Joey about a particular type of camera and how it’s a million times better than shooting video and blah blah, I honestly don’t give a fuck about anything this dude has to say. They head to the film classroom to get the camera, and Kendra’s there fiddling with it. She and Joey exchange some polite small talk, then Dawson tells her to hand over the camera. She’s all “LOL NOPE” because she just checked it out for the next month. He gapes like a goldfish and Kendra says that she cleared it with the film teacher. Dawson wants to know when he’ll get the camera, and she tells him that film making is an art that can’t be rushed. Dawson sad pandas while Joey gets this amazing “OOOOH, YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED” face that makes me laugh.
“LOL 5-EVA”
Democracy Diva: My notes refer to this face as Joey’s “did someone fart recently?” face.
K: Also accurate.
HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH.
After the credits, Jen (YAY) and Jack are grocery shopping. He fills the trolley with cereal, arguing that they’re all for different times of day and she eyerolls at him fondly. BROTP TO END ALL BROTPS. Jen pulls out half the cereal and goes to put it back. Jack calls her a fascist, then comes face to face with Ethan Parker Abrams. Jack’s awkward and Parker is suitably charming. (D: And his eyebrow game is on point. Very Marlon Brando meets Cara Delevingne.) (K: Truth.) He says that he’s in town for Capefest. Jack’s all “The fuck is that?”, despite having lived in Capeside for two years, and Parker tells him that it’s a free concert in the park, and that he’ll be heading down tomorrow to stake out a camp site.
Jack says that it sounds fun, and Parker tells him that he should come if he’s a fan. A fan of what, I’m not quite sure. Jack’s all “I’m totally a fan”, then claims that Courtney Love is his favourite Foo Fighter. Oh, sweetie…
Parker finds it adorable and tells Jack that he should come anyway. Jack looks like a happy puppy, and I just want to squish him.
PUPPY.
Parker heads off to do his grocery shopping as Jen returns to give her seal of BFF approval.
Capeside High. Andie tracks down another one of Capeside’s douchey English teachers – this one is named Mr Broderick and he’s wearing a truly horrible jumper – to say that she wants to be the assistant director of the school play, Barefoot in the Park. He snippily accepts, and Andie looks miffed.
Diva: I’m a theater kid and even I have no fucks to give about whatever this school play is.
K: Our school plays were staged with a budget of about $100, so we always did the shitty musicals that no one else wanted because they were cheap. So yeah. I have a long history of giving no fucks about school plays. Even when I was in them.
Leery Manor. Dawson bitchily impersonates Kendra and Joey’s all “Other kids can use the equipment, yo”. He says that all he wants is for the camera to be returned in a timely fashion, but I’m pretty sure if HE was the one borrowing the camera, he wouldn’t be returning it after seven days. #justsaying
Anyway, they walk through into the family room to find all the furniture gone. Dawson asks Gail what the eff is going on, and she tells him that as part of the divorce settlement, she gets the furniture from the family room and the guest room, and she’s taking it over to her new place. That…seems like a really shitty deal, Gail.
Gail says that she asked Mitch not to say anything because she wanted to explain in person, and then says that she needs Dawson to keep being super positive to make everything easier on her and Mitch. Joey gives her major side eye in the background.
“What the eff, Poodle Hair?”
Diva: Katie Holmes, continuing to make the most out of those “smell the fart acting” skills in this episode.
K: Sadly, still some of the best acting we’ve seen thus far.
Dawson’s all “Yeah, of course!”, but when Gail heads upstairs, he slumps against the doorframe. Joey asks if he wants to talk about his feelings, and he says he’s still trying to work that out. Joey sighs as he walks away.
Cut to a camp site just off the beach. Jack’s telling Jen all about how great it’s going to be while she worries about logistics like where the toilets are. She then sasses that “I thought I’d go to extreme measures to get in some guy’s pants“, and Jack gets “EXCUSE YOU” face, insisting that this is the first gay guy he’s ever really talked to and he just wants to get to know him. Jen’s adorably supportive as Jack stares around the camp site, looking for Parker. She tells him to play it cool and let Parker come to him. Obviously, Jack immediately sets off in search of Parker. Womp womp.
School play auditions. It’s a typical teen movie style montage of terribleness. Eventually, a guy with a 90s curtain rail haircut tries out. Andie likes him, but Mr Broderick is too busy popping migraine pills to care. Besides, he has someone else in mind. He says that he’s cut a deal with one of his students. Obviously, it’s Pacey. (D: RETRACTING MY AFOREMENTIONED APATHY. I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS PLAY NOW.) Andie gets “Oh God, please don’t make me do this play with my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart after I pretended to have been raped” face. Pacey looks awkward, and we fade to black.
Diva: It’s stupid how much I’m smiling simply because Pacey is on my screen. We haven’t seen Intern Pacey in SO LONG, you guys.
K: I KNOW. I’ve missed him so much.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dawson turns up on Kendra’s doorstep and informs her that being the principal’s daughter doesn’t give her an excuse to be rude and hog the camera equipment. DUDE. SHE WASN’T RUDE. AND IT’S NOT LIKE SHE’S USING EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF FILM EQUIPMENT. Calm the fuck down, child. She tells him she didn’t know he wanted to use the camera, and he softens slightly until she says that he’s just going to have to wait. LOL. Principal Green comes outside and invites Dawson to dinner, which would basically be the epitome of awkward. Dawson and Kendra are both all “DUDE, NO”, but Principal Green pulls rank “as a father and as a principal” and chuckles as he ushers them both inside. I…actually feel sorry for Dawson Leery. This makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Diva: Also, the Greens’ house is fucking GORGEOUS. Does her dad really afford all this on a principal’s salary? I smell corruption in the Capeside school system.
K: Valid point.
Capefest. Jack’s still looking for Parker. He hears a voice from behind him and turns to see Parker UP A TREE HANGING A TARP??? I am so confused by this choice. It’s ridiculously awkward.
“NBD, just chilling up a tree…”
Diva: Cool gay dudes always pose in trees. Obviously. Also, it’s a testament to Parker’s handsomeness that he still looks amazing despite his mom jeans/90s turtleneck sweater combo.
K: YUP.
Parker asks if he’s there alone, and Jack says he’s there with a girl but she’s just a friend and also he left her to put up their tent. Alone. Uh, RUDE. Parker says he’s all on his lonesome and asks Jack if he wants to get something to eat. Jack’s adorably awkward, and they head off together. As they walk along the beach, Parker wants to know why Jack didn’t ask for his number after the train ride. Jack says he got paranoid, and wants to know why Parker didn’t ask for his. Parker claims that it’s important for Jack to make these moves given that he’s the newbie. I’m pretty sure that’s code for “I’m playing a gay version of Parker Abrams and will break your heart into a million pieces within a couple of episodes”.
Aaaaanyway, Jack lets slip that the conversation on the train was his first time talking to another gay guy, and Parker is kind of stunned.
Jen, meanwhile, is doing battle with a tent. She appears to be trying to pitch it in the middle of a walkway, which probably isn’t ideal. She sees a hippy guy walking past with some food and asks where he got it. He points and claims that the guy manning the grill is “like a genius with a veggie burger“. She drops the tent and heads over there, and OBVIOUSLY the veggie burger genius is Henry. Ugh. He seems less than thrilled to see her. Still, she bats her eyelashes and asks if he can help her put the tent up. He pissily agrees.
As they walk towards her mangled tent, she asks why he’s not thrilled to see her. Um, maybe because you crushed him like a bug? He says basically that, except that he implies that she led him on. DUDE, NO. Also, you’re FOURTEEN. Ew. He says that she’s just seeing the satisfaction in being “on the requited side of unrequited love“, and ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Stop. Jen sighs sadly and says that she thought they’d agreed to be friends. He starts yelling, because apparently he’s been giving her the silent treatment for a month and she didn’t even notice. Awwwwwwkward. He finishes with “You know what? You can put up your own damn tent,” and walks away. Jen looks after him thoughtfully.
Dinner of Awkward. Principal Green gushes about Kendra’s early movies, including “A Day in the Life of Daddy“. He asks Dawson if he’s been enlisted for Kendra’s new project, and he’s all “LOL, NOPE”. Kendra insists that she doesn’t need his help. Principal Green thinks it would be a great idea for them to work together, and they’re both all “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO.” They look at each other in that “we hate each other but we’re totally going to make out” way that only happens on television.
Beach. Jack and Parker talk about what it means to be gay. According to Parker it has nothing to do with what sex you’re attracted to, which I suspect would come as a surprise to many gay people. He then clarifies that he means that being gay isn’t just a part of your life, “it’s everywhere“. Um. Okay? They get back to Parker’s camp site to find that his stuff’s gone. LOL. Sucks to be you, dude.
Capeside High. Andie and Pacey bump into each other in the corridor. She tells him that she wants him to quit the play, but he says that Mr Broderick said he’d give him a C in English if he did the play. Andie’s horrified that he’d stoop to such lengths for a C, then says that she got into the whole play thing as a way of getting over Pacey and she can’t do that if he’s in it. He tells her to quit because “Witters aren’t quitters“, and Andie scoffs. Pacey has no fucks to give and walks away.
Diva: WITTERS NEVER QUIT, QUIT, QUIT, QUIT, QUIT. You’re welcome, Taylor Swift. I just wrote your new single.
K: I’d buy it.
Dinner of Awkward. Dawson wanders into Kendra’s bedroom and is surprised by the lack of film geekery in there. She says that she bets his room is all Spielberg all the time, and he replies “Uh, yeah. More or less a shrine.”
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. THE SHRINE OF SPIELBERG IS CANON, FRIENDS.
VICTORY DANCE PARTY!!
Diva: YAAAAAAAAAS THE DAWSON’S CREEK WRITERS TIME-TRAVELED TO 2015 AND READ OUR RECAPS!
K: Bless their little hearts. It almost makes up for the fact that our favourite nonsensical set dresser hasn’t been around in a while, adding random shit to the background of scenes. Almost.
She tells him that there’s a world of stuff out there to be passionate about, and that she loves film because it lets her explore all her other interests. She basically calls him a one trick pony, and I kind of love her.
She goes on to apologise for Principal Green’s weirdly intense attitude about wanting them to be friends, and says that he’s been doing it ever since the divorce. He asks how she feels about the divorce, and her response is basically “It sucks, but I don’t have a say”. He’s surprised given how together she seems, and she tells him that it’s all a façade and that she’s as angry as any other kid with divorced parents.
She asks how he feels about his parents’ divorce, and he falls silent before saying that he’s mostly okay with it but sometimes it sneaks up on him. And when it does, he’s overwhelmed by the sense of being “the product of something that didn’t work out“. Oof. He starts talking about how our parents are our primary examples of love, and clearly his wasn’t strong enough to work out. He gets a little teary and rushes from the room. Kendra looks feelsy. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Jack and Parker find Jen sitting in a sleeping bag on top of their unassembled tent. Jack introduces her to Parker, who offers to help with the tent. She’s thrilled. Jack pulls her to one side while Parker starts on the tent, and fills her in on the stolen stuff situation. He then asks her to go take a walk for a few hours and come back around midnight. Jen is not impressed, which is pretty freaking legit. She sasses that she’s going to take the car and go home for the night and that she’ll be back to pick him up in the morning. “Besides, Jack, I thought you two were just getting to know each other,” she says, complete with Eyebrows of Innuendo. She makes a kissy face at him as she walks away, and I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
Me watching my BROTP, basically.
En route to the car, Jen comes across a group of people sitting around watching a trio jam. She’s surprised to see that the guy playing lead guitar and singing is Henry. He launches into Bruce Springsteen’s No Surrender, and really, guys? REALLY?? Okay. Sure. Whatever. Jen looks kind of insta-love-y and sits down to watch. She actually gets teary watching him sing, and it’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle weird because he kind of looks like a potato with hair on top…
Diva: I grew up in New Jersey. I have many years of experience falling in love with guys solely by watching them play Bruce Springsteen songs. Except in Jen’s case, the guy actually likes her back!
K: Capeside High. Rehearsals have started, and Mr Broderick wants Pacey to be “louder and angrier“. Andie, in contrast, thinks that Pacey’s usual dry wit is perfect for the character. (D: WITTERS GONNA WIT, WIT, WIT, WIT, WIT.) (K: A+, girl) Mr Broderick douchily overrules her, and Pacey reluctantly starts shouting in his co-star’s face.
Capefest. Parker says that it’s super cool of Jen to give up her sleeping bag for him, and I eyeroll forever. He asks if Jack and Jen ever dated, and he says they didn’t, but they got set up at a school dance one time. Parker’s all “COOL STORY, SLEEP TIME NOW”, and Jack’s obviously disappointed. He says that he thought they could talk some more, but Parker says they’ll need their sleep because there are 20 bands playing from daybreak tomorrow. Jack sad pandas and turns the lantern off.
Elsewhere, Henry’s packing his guitar away. Jen comes up and fangirls a little over his singing. He basically tells her to fuck off, but she follows him and eventually admits that she misses him and the goofy way he used to look at her. God knows why. He tells her that he used to spend every minute of every day thinking about her and moping about the fact that she didn’t share his feelings. She may miss how he looked at her, but “I don’t miss how you never looked at me.” He turns and walks away, leaving Jen teary.
Maybe she doesn’t love you because you look like a fucking murderer, Henry.
Diva: Or maybe she doesn’t love you because you think you’re rock star Jesus.
K: Shrine o’ Spielberg. Joey climbs in the window to find Dawson pulling down all his Spielberg posters. (D: OH NO! How are we going to start 95% of our recaps without the Shrine o’Spielberg?!) (K: SRSLY OMG) She’s hella confused, and asks if this is about his parents. He emotionally says that he’s not the kid who hung up all the Spielberg posters any more, he doesn’t see the world the same way. Joey calls him a sell out for following Eve around like a puppy dog and now giving up his entire identity because Kendra told him to. Dawson gets pissed, and says that he’s just trying to work out his identity and that Kendra helped him work through the weird parent situation he’s going through. Joey gets pissed because she wanted to talk to him about that, and he wants to know when this became about her. I reluctantly admit that that’s a fairly legit point.
Dawson starts shouting about how she treats him like “some sort of criminal” any time he talks to another girl, and she’s all “Um, pot meet kettle?”. He claims he does no such thing to her. HAHAHAHAHAHA, SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAWSON.
They yell at each other some more, and Joey storms out the window. Dawson shuts it behind her and pulls the curtains shut. It would probably be more meaningful if he actually locked the window, but whatever. Fade to black.
Capefest, the next morning. Parker thanks Jack for letting him stay and then suggests that Jack ask for his phone number. Jack’s confused because Parker just wanted to sleep the previous night. Parker lets slip that he just wants to be friends, and Jack looks like a kicked puppy. Parker admits that he thought Jack was interested, but says he’d never go there because Jack’s not ready. Jack’s incredulous. Parker reluctantly says that he IS maybe sort of interested but he’s more likely to stay in Jack’s life if they’re just friends for now. Jack sad pandas because Parker was the first guy he was ready to take the next step with, and Parker turned him down. Parker scribbles down his phone number and walks away.
Capeside High. Pacey’s co-star bitches about how she ditched a perfectly good date for this rehearsal only to have Mr Broderick bail. Um. Who the hell has a date at like 9am on a Saturday? CONFUSION. Andie says that he’ll show, and another kid complains that they’ll just have to listen to him demand that they be louder and angrier some more. Pacey suggests that they start without Mr Broderick and let Andie direct. She reluctantly agrees, and starts giving direction.
Capefest. Jen finds Henry and apologises “For being careless with your heart“. She says that she stayed up all night thinking about what he’d said, and came to the conclusion that he was right. She doesn’t know what it’s like to lose yourself in someone else, but she’d like to. She gives him a meaningful look, and he offers her some coffee with a grin. Ugh. I just…I really hate this relationship. Shit or get off the pot, Jen. He’s a fucking child, and he clearly can’t deal with the emotional fall out of your indecisiveness…
Diva: I don’t hate this relationship quite as much, but mostly because Michael Pitt is an awesome actor and I’d probably watch him trim his nose hairs and find it relatively interesting.
K: I can’t see him as anything but a psycho killer, so the less time he spends on my screen, the better.
Capeside High. The rehearsals are going much better under Andie’s direction. Mr Broderick appears and gives them a round of applause before praising himself for how well his exercises have gone. Pacey and his co-star try to give Andie the credit, but Mr Broderick just talks over the top of them. He tells Andie to go get the set designs, and when she does, he says that they’re not what they discussed. She insists that they are, and he says that he must have changed his mind and that she needs to follow orders. He tells Pacey and his co-star to run the scene again, but Pacey runs off after Andie, who’s stormed out.
He catches up with her in the hallway, and says that she can’t quit because she’s really good at directing, and they all need her. “I need you, McPhee,” he finishes, and Andie and I have a feels attack.
She says that she’s still going to quit, because Mr Broderick is a big bag of dicks, but Pacey pretends he can’t hear her, and runs off, saying that he’ll see her at rehearsal.
Capefest. Jack fills Jen in on getting the “let’s be friends” brush off, and she sasses about how his rudeness in sending her off into the night alone was all for nothing. He replies “Rude is such a strong word. I prefer something more like ‘momentarily self-involved‘”. She chuckles and forgives him before saying that they should make a greeting card for the moment when a girl’s gay BFF dumps her for another guy. He realises that she’s far too cheerful, and asks what happened. She admits that she made a new friend while wandering about in the night, and that it’s someone he knows. Jack wraps an arm around her shoulders and asks who it is. She giggles and refuses to tell him, and they adorably bicker their way back to the car.
Spielberg-less Shrine. Dawson’s lying on the bed staring up at his bare walls. Joey appears at the open window – IT’S AFTER THANKSGIVING, YOU GUYS, WHAT THE EFF – and asks if she can come in. Dawson reluctantly says she can. She’s brought him a John Lennon “Imagine” poster, because there was one summer where they found a bunch of old Beatles albums and played them all the time and Dawson wanted to be John Lennon. The Beatle who was abusive towards women? Yeah, that sounds about right for Dawson Leery…
Yup.
Dawson has no memory of this, and Joey says that she wanted to remind him of the time when he was interested in more than just Spielberg. She tells him that no matter how jealous she gets or how much they yell at each other, she’ll always hear him. He says that he’ll always hear her too, and UGH CAN WE STOP WITH THE IDEA OF THESE TWO BEING SOUL MATES? THEY’RE THE WORST. (D: +1 times infinity.) She tells him that he doesn’t have to share his inner turmoil with her, but he should keep trying to share it with someone. He looks feelsy and stands up on the bed to hang the poster. “Imagine” starts playing as they pin the poster above his bed and stand back to admire their handiwork. Joey tells Dawson to be on the look out for his Yoko as we fade to black.
This was…meh. I hated everything about Henry and Jen, and wanted to punch Dawson in the face slightly more than usual. Jack was a dick for making Jen wander around all night. Joey and Dawson yelling at each other continues to be the worst. And the highlights – Pacey, Jen and Jack being cute, Joey’s hilarious face when Kendra stole the camera from under Dawson’s nose – weren’t enough to redeem it. At least we’re nearly to the squee-worthy now?
Diva: THE LAND OF THE ETERNAL SQUEE APPROACHES.
K: And never ever leave.
Next time: The Potter B&B opens and things don’t go exactly to plan. Find out more in Dawson’s Creek S03 E12 – Weekend in the Country.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
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