Previously: The boys went to Miami to save the Nana from a horrible marriage and lick whipped cream off girls.
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The Showdown
Meagan: When the OC debuted, I was 13 years old, and I got totally sucked in. I had a crush on Ryan and probably Marissa too. I don’t know why, because my life was about the opposite of these kids–I was living in a studio apartment with my mom, the two of us sleeping on a couch together with the cushions falling in to the springs, one blanket, and loads of cats. Yeah, my childhood was pretty interesting. I wouldn’t trade it for this drama I’m about to cover, though I might have then.
Anyway, a few episodes in, my mom’s boyfriend lost his cable–so bye bye, OC. I forgot about it, until a creepy teacher at my junior high later that year told me I looked like Mischa Barton. I took that as a creepy compliment, but I also don’t really see it.
Marines: Ah, yes the creepy compliment. Um, thank you?
Meagan: This and reading a few of the recaps here on Snark Squad is my OC experience level. I am not caught up on recaps, so I’m jumping in without really knowing where I’m at. However, we conveniently open with some Previouslies highlighting a bunch of people kissing–I can’t keep track of who–and Ryan’s brother attempting to rape Marissa on the beach, who beats him off with some driftwood and runs away. Disturbing, but that driftwood was convenient. Is it just me, or does it seem like TV shows prefer to go with “attempted rape” because they don’t want to overwhelm their audience, even if the getaway strategy is somewhat contrived? It’s like they are rationing out the disturbance level in carefully measured amounts.
Mari: I also suspect they don’t want to deal with the consequences too long. An attempted rape lets you move on after a few episodes, you know?
Meagan: After the previouslies we open to Kirsten apparently making a mixed drink first thing in the morning? I’m not sure, but that fact that she runs to hide something in the fridge when Sandy comes in lends credence to my hypothesis. Sandy starts to ask Kirsten to go on a weekend trip with him, but as she is turning it down (due to alcoholism? I hope I get to find out) the boys make their entrance and remind us about Seth licking whipped cream off of a girl on spring break, and how this is going to cause trouble with Summer. Ha, that’s punny. Spring break causing trouble with Summer.
But he has to tell her, because the moral of this scene is that, as Sandy opines, “When you start hiding things, that’s when the trouble starts.” Kirsten looks guilty in the background. As the boys exit, she changes her mind and says she’ll go on the trip, as she sets her glass in the sink. When she leaves the kitchen, Sandy smells it. That was too easy! I’m glad I came in at an apparent reveal. I wonder how long that plot has been building.
Mari: Homegirl has been chugging increasing amounts of wine all season. This has newly crossed the SERIOUS SITUATION line, though, which is probably why Kirsten doesn’t know enough to DUMP THE DRINK OUT.
Meagan: California, here I am…..Northern California that is. We don’t do beaches here. These kids are just too cool though. Look at Ryan riding his bike next to Seth on his skateboard. That clip gives me chills. When I was a teenager I must have thought that was the epitome of… something.
Marissa is concerned with her bruises in the mirror when Ryan’s Older Brother calls her. ROB is trying to “explain,” so she hangs up. Cut to some girl in a bra who apparently slept with the attempted rapist last night, and must know something about it, given the bloody bruise on his forehead from the driftwood. She wants more sex, but he kicks her out for school, indicating that this was a one night stand. She doesn’t seem very willing to integrate this information, kissing him on the cheek as she leaves, and making a weird comment about how she left marks on his back as she strokes his bloodied forehead.
Next scene is Seth trying to make right with Summer, who not only saw his Spring Break Leads to Summer Troubles adventure on TV, but decided to kiss another guy in response. She’s disappointed in him messing up again (what did he do last time?) (M: He does a lot of stupid stuff on account of being a self-involved but adorable baby…), publicly this time, and thinks that their relationship shouldn’t be so hard. Smart girl. However, if you give up on this whole monogamy thing, it might be easier! (Disclaimer: I am polyamorous and have always hated watching my favorite–and other–characters struggling to choose between multiple people they obviously like–date them all I say!) (M: Girl, “date them all” would equate to “we have absolutely no plot left.” I like it.) (M: Glad you like it. Aren’t there other things we can plot about though? Like being poor in a rich people’s place?)
This show is surprisingly low on Seque Magic. The cuts are not so obviously connected to one another, although the theme is this next scene is also “relationships are hard.” I think–the guy looks too old for the woman who has just spent two hours making him breakfast, which he rudely turns down, with an insult to boot. She angrily dumps the food in the trash. I also hate it when characters on TV do this. I will eat that, lady! There are hungry people in this world; don’t waste food.
In the hall of OC High, Ryan tries to sneak-kiss Marissa from around her locker door, but she now has PTSD and jumps. I don’t know how to snark this, guys. We’re talking about sexual assault here, and there’s things to make fun of–like how she wore a shirt with a cut open collar while trying to hide a bruise–but it seems horribly cruel. (M: Agreed. She’s also a horrible actress but this is still icky to watch.) Ryan wants to make plans for this weekend, and she is less than enthusiastic. This is so sad. She’s probably traumatized about him because of what her brother did, huh? I am a sucker for tragedy. It seems like they just got together (she says she isn’t used to hallway kisses) and now this. I hate screenwriters. I just want wish fulfilling happily ever afters (like what JK Rowling recently called her “unrealistic” pairing of Ron and Hermione, that she now regrets). I wish she felt safe enough to tell him and get the support that every sexual assault survivor deserves and needs.
Kirsten receives a gift box from a former employee or co-worker who has cleared out his office. Was she having an affair in addition to the drinking? (M: Mostly just having cheater-feels. They kissed.) (M: Only kissed?! Damn, by the end of the episode I was sure they’d had sex.) The present is a gold necklace in the shape of a feather, from “Featherbrook Gift Shop.” That was an easy present–they probably sell those at the front counter.
Back in the halls of OC High, Zach asks Marissa what their kissing meant–was it revenge, or something more? She says both, and Seth walks in on them, giving Zach the chance to deliver the news that he’s quitting working on a comic that was coming between him and Summer–who leaves to get away from the awkwardness. Seth thought that Zach was a nice guy, but Zach promptly corrects him: “Wake up, I’m a water polo player! We’re never nice guys.” LOL. Was I supposed to know this already? Does this count as a Snark Squad Life Lesson? Watch your back around those water polo players! This dialogue gets unrealistic and cartoony and is followed by a cheesy shot of them walking down the hallway in the same direction towards their lockers.
Mari: I’ve been meaning to say this in the last few recaps, but I figured I’d wait until this I’m Not a Nice Guy Reveal: HATE. HATE, HATE, HATE. It was already so weird that they were keeping Zach around as an ex-boyfriend, but weird in a good way. AND THEN, they make him not nice because no one that isn’t Seth/Summer or Ryan/Marissa can exist in this world, apparently.
Meagan: At this point my computer crashed and when I reloaded the episode, there was a pop-up window that would not go away for the rest of the episode, so I couldn’t see people’s faces. In fact, Marissa uses the pop-up window, as well as a tree, to hide from Trey behind. (M: Pop-up window was probably more effective than the tree.) She asks Summer for a ride to avoid him.
Awkwardness with Sandy and Kirsten about the now cancelled vacation, Sandy finishing her “tomato juice” cocktail, and him noticing her new golden feather necklace. Not much to say about this scene.
Zach is forced to stay with the comic book project after being threatened by lawyers. That was an easy solution to a non-problem.
The woman with the eggs benedict from earlier shows up at her husband’s office and demands couples counseling or a divorce. He offers her a restaurant date instead and she accepts. I am more than a little disgusted by the lengths she will go to for this jerky guy. I guess people who waste food have lower standards in life partners. (M: Also, she’s mostly after the money. When you have lots of money, you can waste food.) (M: Sigh.)
Kirsten comes home and seems lonely and calls Carter. She leaves a message saying, “Don’t call back,” then goes for another drink. We are having a lot of quick scene cuts sorely lacking in seque magic.
The girl ROB aka Trey had a one night stand with confronts Ryan as he is trying to meet up with Marissa. (By the way this high school is ridiculously fancy.) She hits on him and tries to feel him up under the pretense of “borrowing a pen.” She is the kind of bitchy TV girl I am not convinced actually exists and is designed by male scriptwriters without a clue about intimacy, psychology, or human potential. Marissa seems to see them and goes outside to be confronted by ROB/Trey. Ryan follows and tries to get them all to go out to lunch together, obviously a horrible idea but no one’s told him anything. He asks about Trey’s forehead bruise and gets some excuse. Trey leaves, and Ryan asks Marissa to go to Seth’s comic book release followed by dinner. She says yes, obviously still shaken up.
Mari: This is the kind of “use your words!” situation that is tough but realistic. This isn’t just some plot device. You can really imagine that having to tell Ryan that his brother is an attempted rapist, on top of the facing the memory herself, wouldn’t be at all easy. It’s really weird that this is all in the same episode where the other core couple are fighting over Spring Break and whipped cream.
Meagan: Definitely agree that this is realistic. She might wonder if he would believe her, or defend his brother in some way. I realize that I have unrealistic expectations of Ryan to be the super-boyfriend who will be her ally. Based on past evidence, what he would probably do is believe her, but then run to go beat up Trey, which I seriously doubt is what Marissa wants either. I actually volunteer for a Rape Crisis Intervention, and our philosophy is, “Give the survivor the options and ask them what they want to do.” This empowerment is thought to support healing from violation, rather than re-victimizing if friends, family, and/or legal system/hospital respond by telling a survivor what they “should” do.
Anyway, Sandy walks in on Kirsten passed out drunk, carries her to bed, and brings her breakfast in bed the next morning. He asks her about her drinking and she denies she has a problem. He mentions Carter leaving and she is thrown off but he only meant that she might have to take on his workload now.
Mari: She denies her breakfast too and I’m just like, “OMG SOMEONE FEED ME. I WILL TAKE ALL THE BREAKFAST.”
Meagan: Wow, I didn’t notice that double breakfast-waste.
Seth and Ryan are playing video games. Ryan mentions that Marissa has been acting weird. Seth suggests asking Trey because he was around. Ryan bypasses this and inquires about phase 2 of the Zach plan. Seth is using the comic book club to spy on Summer and Zach. He then gets a call and leaves to approach these very two and spills that Zach is still working on the comic. Apparently Summer didn’t know this and is now upset about Zach withholding information. I can’t believe Summer wants to date either of these guys. (M: Word.)
Ryan follows Seth’s advice after all, going to see Trey to ask about Marissa. Trey shuts this conversation down right away. As Ryan is leaving he is confronted by ROB One Night Stand who continues to hit on him and almost spills the beans about Trey’s apparent obsession with Marissa. I think we learn that her name is Jess here too.
Marissa walks into Summer’s room with a ton of shopping bags. Marissa says she has a problem, but it isn’t that Trey tried to rape her, it’s that she doesn’t know what to wear on her date. Summer sees her bruise and gets another lie. Summer is destroying all reminders of both Seth and Zach. She picks out a black outfit for Marissa, then goes to confront comic book contract lady, because she has now decided the whole boy debacle is all her fault.
Eggs Benedict shows up at Kirsten’s for advice and apparently, she is married to Kirsten’s dad even though she and Kirsten might be the same age. Kirsten gives her a really strong screwdriver despite it being “too early.” Eggs Benedict confronts her, and gets a confession about a wall being between K and Sandy. This is the second marital wall mentioned today. (M: #significant)
Summer shows up to confront Comic Book Lady, which seems really pointless. CBL redirects her with promises of fame through her face on a comic book cover.
Marissa shows up at Ryan’s and starts kissing him which leads to a long PTSD scene where they are making out on the bed and he keeps looking like Trey to her. She runs off.
Sandy asks Kirsten what happened with her and Carter and gets an angry non-denial before she runs off.
Seth is introducing his comic to an audience. He gets kicked off stage after going 45 minutes over describing each panel in detail and fights with Zach over a water bottle. Summer comes on stage in a comic book character outfit composed of black pleather, a mask, and a whip.
When Cal and Julie (finally got their names) go to their restaurant date, a woman hands Eggs Julie (M: A+) divorce papers as Cal slips out. She goes to Cal’s office to confront him and he shows her pictures he had taken of her kissing someone else.
Back at the comic book release, Seth pulls Summer off stage and begs forgiveness and a second chance, but Zach interrupts.
Ryan is calling Marissa and not getting an answer. After talking with Sandy, he decides to go to her house.
Marissa is crying on her bed when Trey walks in trying to apologize. This is a super fucked up way to apologize for violating someone–continue to walk into their private space uninvited after being told repeatedly to leave her alone. Apparently Marissa feels Trey has wronged Ryan more than her, because they are brothers…and what, he assaulted Ryan’s property? I’m not sure what is going on here but I’m determined to blame it on the patriarchy. (M: Oh, absolutely. You can’t go wrong.) Ryan shows up as Trey is leaving, unfortunately probably believing that the two of them are hooking up. Very sad misunderstanding. Use your words please people.
Kirsten is at a bar, while Sandy drives around looking for her. She pays and calls Sandy. She’s driving drunk and says she loves him. He asks her to pull over so he can get her, but then she drops her phone and runs a red light, narrowly missing getting hit by a car. Unfortunately, as she is taking a breath of relief, a semi hits her. The car is shoved maybe half a block down the street, rolls over, and is generally destroyed, but not enough to be sure she is dead. I’m guessing not.
Mari: A Wiki entry and future Snarkers will save you the pain of also finding out which boy Summer really chooses.
Next time: It’s prom time with an under the sea theme in The OC S02 E23 – The O.Sea.
I'm a cat-loving Pagan going through my quarterlife crisis in Northern California. I vacillate between trying to figure out how to save the world and reading Harry Potter fanfiction. If I wrote down all the amazing things I think of, I'd feel more legitimized in calling myself a writer, and also would probably be famous and maybe not living on a shoestring.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
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