Previously: Jim accidentally sent a serial killer after his ex-girlfriend, and Ed killed Kristen’s boyfriend.
—
The Anvil Or The Hammer
Alex: Oh hey. It’s me again, reviewing a Gotham episode for the third time this week. What can I say? The prospect of the season finale next week gave me a renewed sense of purpose. That, and the desire to be done with this show forever and ever.
Marines: She kept asking, “want me to do the next one?” and the answer was always yes. Yes forever.
Alex: So. It’s morning at Christian/Milo/Ogre’s apartment and rather than away screaming when she saw the murder chamber last night, Barbara instead spent the night there having lots and lots of sex. He tries to offer her some quiche for breakfast, obviously, because that’s what crazed murderers eat after a night of passion. Barbara isn’t keen to stick around, but Milo’s pretty insistent. She accuses him of just pretending to be into her, so he’s like ‘well, I was actually going to kill you before but now I really am super into you, pinky swear!’
Barbara is pretty upset by this. I don’t want to labour the point too much but… MURDER ROOM, BARBARA. What did you expect? She makes a run for the door, but of course it’s locked. He throws a bag over her head and tells her that they’ll just have to do it ‘the hard way’ instead.
CREDITSOMGTHISSEASONISNEARLYOVER
GCPD. Inara tries to persude a frazzled Jim to take a break and eat something, but he’s still frantically trying to track down Barbara. He feels guilty for not even thinking about her when he decided to go after The Ogre. It’s OK, Jim, I don’t really like thinking about her either.
Mari: Every time she’s not on the screen there is a 99.9999% chance I’m not thinking about her.
Alex: Bullock appears dragging some young pimp with him, who’s apparently been going around claiming to know who The Ogre is. (M: CONVENIENT!) They take him in for questioning. Meanwhile, Ed sneaks into the precinct looking all kinds of shifty and carrying two enormous suitcases with him.
Once he gets to his lab, he opens them up and we see that they’re filled with dismembered pieces of Officer Asshole. He mutters ‘no body, no crime’ to himself a few times, then gets to work. I’d say that bringing your murder victim’s body into work with you is a pretty terrible idea, but then again, if you work somewhere where dead bodies are getting chopped up all the time then maybe it’s actually kind of genius? I can’t decide.
Mari: It’s also the GCPD. Something tells me this isn’t the first cop-murdered-person to ever be brought in there.
Alex: Also an excellent point.
Bullock and Gordon are interrogating the pimp, who’s being uncooperative. Bullock warns him to stop dicking around because it’s their friend who’s been kidnapped, and the pimp asks how much she’s worth to them. Gordon informs Bullock that he’s about to violate the department’s policy on interrogation techniques, and Bullock casually slips out to get a donut.
Some time later, Gordon steps out with the information he needed: The Ogre was a regular at a club called The Foxglove. Bullock recognises the name and says it’s an exclusive club, where you need to know the right people to get in. Gordon knows exactly who to ask.
Meanwhile, Milo has Barbara chained up and gagged in his murder dungeon. He brings her a glass of water while babbling about how he’s just looking for his soulmate. I can’t believe we’re getting three episodes of this.
Mari: There was just too much plot to deal with!
Just kidding. This show hates us.
Alex: Wayne Manor. Alfred brings Bruce his mail and prepares to go identify Reggie’s body. He’s still struggling to make sense of what happened and Bruce awkwardly suggests that maybe Reggie fell out of a window after drinking too much. Alfred says Reggie could hold his drink far better than that. After he leaves, Bruce opens the mail and finds the key Selina copied from Bunderslaw.
Butch pays a visit to Penguin’s new bar and tells Miss Rosa he’s there to look the place over. When she heads back to the kitchen, he stashes a bunch of guns around the place before reporting back to Penguin at Oswald’s. Penguin is pleased that his plan is all coming together. He starts to make a villain-y speech but is interrupted by the arrival of Gordon.
Gordon says he needs an invitation to The Foxglove and Penguin pretty much goes ‘ooh, matron!’
He points out, however, that Jim’s been asking for a lot of favours recently without giving much back. He starts to explain that he has a lot of important friends who maybe wouldn’t want the cops turning up at The Foxglove, but Gordon’s had enough of this shit and threatens him with violence if he doesn’t help. Penguin grumpily agrees, but adds that Jim now owes him a BIG favour. (M: The tension is building! But not really.)
Wayne Enterprises. Bruce is getting a tour of the offices from an over-enthusiastic lady who probably hasn’t ever had to give a tour to a twelve-year-old before. Bruce excuses himself to use the restroom, then quickly pulls the fire alarm.
GCPD. Gordon gives Bullock the Foxglove invite and tells him to pose as a customer while Gordon and his backup wait outside. Bullock is excited to have the chance to wear a fancy suit he stole from evidence, and Gordon just kind of affectionately rolls his eyes at how hilariously corrupt his partner is.
Murder Dungeon. Barbara is still chained up, but Milo removes her gag with a warning not to bother screaming, since the room is soundproof. He tells her that he’s all nervous and excited, which just proves that Barbara’s totally The One since it never happened with any of his other murder victims. Barbara calls him a psycho and slaps him, but he isn’t remotely bothered until she mentions Jim’s name, saying that he’ll find her. He hits her, hard, and she falls to the ground. He brings her some water and she quickly drinks it down. Then he orders her to come look at something, saying that he loves her so very much, but that he’ll chain her to the ceiling and gut her if she tries to escape. Barbara gets up and walks over to look at one of his weapon cases, where he displays all the photos of his victims taken right before he killed them. She looks suitably terrified before passing out, presumably drugged by whatever he put in the water.
I’ll pause for a moment to say that Milo Ventimiglia really is doing an excellent job with this character. I think, though, that that’s only making it worse for me. Gotham’s villains have generally been a bit lame or felt like larger-than-life caricatures, preventing us from taking them too seriously. But Milo’s making this character a little too believable, and while I realise that’s a strange complaint to make, this whole thing feels like such a massive departure from the campy silliness of previous episodes and I’m struggling to understand why someone decided this was the right way to (almost) close the season.
Mari: There was a bit of back-and-forth in the comments last recap about Barbara and what she’d exactly done to warrant so much hate and even some death wishes. I’m reminded of that now, while I make this point: this show is too far gone. There is already so much build-up of hate, for me personally, that I don’t know where it started and it makes me rather insensitive to the things that are actually okay. So, yes, this is effectively creepy but the greater sense of “OH MY GOSH, I JUST DON’T CARE.” hasn’t really dulled and it makes for a weird combination.
Basically, he’s doing well with such a squicky thing. Though it’s a different kind of discomfort, this is making me uncomfortable to watch. That should be a credit to the story-telling, but instead it’s melding with all the other discomfort Gotham causes me and it’s hard to really differentiate the two things in my feelings.
Alex: Excellently put, as always. There was never really a chance that they’d be able to win us over in these last few episodes.
Wayne Enterprises. Bruce sneaks into Sid Bunderslaw’s office while the alarm is still sounding. He locates the safe and uses his shiny new key, while what sounds very much like the actual James Bond theme plays in the background. Weird. Unfortunately, the safe is empty and Bunderslaw suddenly appears in the office, having been expecting him. He offers Bruce a cookie and sagely advises him that you should never turn down a cookie when you get the chance to have one. Wise words.
Bruce confronts him about what happened to Alfred. Sid admits that he hired Reggie to snoop around but insists that the stabbing wasn’t part of the plan. He tells Bruce that it’s time for him to have ‘the talk’ which all members of the Wayne family get when they reach a certain age, which basically boils down to an admission that Wayne Enterprises go out of their way to do illegal things if it means turning a profit. Sid goes on to explain that Bruce’s father had similar concerns at first, but eventually changed his mind. He strongly advises Bruce to back off and just enjoy the privileged life that his parents would have wanted for him.
This little chat is interrupted by the arrival of a man who Sid introduces as Lucius Fox, one of the company’s executives. Some Twitter excitement tells me that this name is somehow significant. (M: Hey! The dude Morgan Freeman played in the Nolan films!) (A: Oh!) Lucius has come to take Bruce back to his tour guide, so Sid sends him and his cookie away. Bruce gives him some serious glare as he leaves.
As they wait for the elevator outside the office, Lucius carefully positions himself so that no security cameras can see his face, then shares a cryptically-worded secret with Bruce: ‘Your father was a true stoic. He kept his best self… hidden’. Then he sends Bruce off in the elevator, wishing him luck.
GCPD. Kristen knocks on the door of the lab, looking for some case files, while Nygma is busy dissolving her boyfriend. He lets her in without bothering to cover up what he’s doing at all. While he goes to find the files, she steps inside and is suitably grossed out at the sight of the mangled body in the sink, although she doesn’t recognise it. Nygma quickly invents a story about an accident involving industrial machinery.
Oswald’s. Penguin is briefing the Irish Mobster about killing Maroni. He’s to deliver a message from Penguin before he does the deed, although Irish is confused as to why anyone would give a speech to someone they’re about to murder. Clearly he doesn’t watch enough TV, because that’s like lesson number one from the Big Book of Villain Gloating. The Irish guy asks Penguin how he even knows Maroni will be in Miss Rosa’s bar that day, and by way of explanation Penguin shows him a newspaper article about some notorious hitman named Tommy Bones getting released from Prison.
Meanwhile, Tommy Bones arrives for dinner at Miss Rosa’s place, which I’ve just learned is actually called ‘Lydia’s’. He’s greeted by Maroni and a bunch of other mobsters, because dinner here is apparently a getting-out-of-prison tradition for anyone in Maroni’s crew.
Bullock arrives at the Foxglove, looking pretty sharp in one of his expensive suits.
The place is a weird vision of what a fetish club might look like if it was held in a hotel bar and there was no actual nudity allowed. Basically it’s a lot of PVC and masks along with whatever other random accessories the props department had going, like biker helmets and Roman centurion costumes. Anyway, Bullock doesn’t look too comfortable. The compere welcomes the evening’s entertainment on stage, and Bullock watches for all of two seconds before he pulls out his badge and calls a stop to things. The sound effects suggest there were pigs and power tools involved. Let’s not even try to guess.
Christian Grey apartment. Barbara is passed out on the sofa and Milo comes to wake her up. She immediately starts sobbing into his arms. He says that he’ll prove that he loves her by killing whoever she wants, then holds a knife to her throat and tells her to name someone. She protests a bit, but eventually whispers something in his ear.
Mari: Creepy. I wonder if my sense of self-preservation would overpower me in this moment or if I’d be a Very Good Guy and just be all, “kill me! I will no be responsible for the life of another!” I mean, I mildly wonder. I don’t ever want to find out.
Alex: Foxglove. The cops have arrived and Gordon asks the compere, who seems to be the club boss, for information about The Ogre. After he threatens to perp-walk all of her rich customers in front of the paparazzi, she points him in the direction of one of the masked hostesses. The hostess removes her mask and reveals a nasty scar across one side of her face, which she got from The Ogre nine years ago. Gordon asks why she didn’t go to the police, but she did. The cops just weren’t interested in investigating an attack on a prostitute. Ouch. All she remembers is that his apartment faced a building with a neon sign ending in ‘OYAL’, which they guess is the Royal Hotel. They hurry off, with the hostess urging them to kill The Ogre when they find him.
Lydia’s. The Irish Mobster and his pal gatecrash the party, bringing a bottle of fancy booze which they claim is a token of respect from Don Falcone. (M: Hey, it’s the Foreshadowing Booze. Who would’ve ever thought that booze they mentioned heavy handedly would ever again make an appearance?) (A: I actually missed that, even though you pointed it out before and everything.) Maroni lets them in after having them searched for weapons. Irish leans against the bar and sneakily locates one of the guns planted by Butch. He delivers the message from ‘Falcone’, which is ‘it wasn’t easy for him to decide to kill you, but business is business’. He and his friend take aim, but both of their guns jam. Maroni says something about it being a sign from God and blah-blahs something about a message for Falcone, before having them both killed.
Oswald’s. Butch rushes in to warn Penguin that Maroni is still alive, and suggests that he get out of town. Penguin smiles and says he wouldn’t want to miss all the fun, because he of course set this whole thing up. He doesn’t want to work for Falcone OR Maroni, so he found a way to engineer an all-out war between them.
GCPD lab. Nygma chats with Officer Asshole’s skull as he tries to decide how to fake break-up with Kristen in a letter.
Yes, I am using ALL the Nygma gifs today. What of it? Anyway, he then puts the skull in a sack and smashes it to pieces with a hammer.
Bullock and Gordon raid The Ogre’s apartment (just the two of them, really?) but the place is empty. They find the murder chamber with all the photos of the previous victims, and Gordon freaks out because he can smell Barbara’s perfume in the room. Bullock tries to prepare him for the worst. Just then, the phone rings and it’s The Ogre himself, who’s been alerted to their presence by his alarm system. The Ogre has nothing at all important to say, because this call only happens so that Bullock and Gordon can detect the shit out of the background noise and somehow figure out that he’s taking Barbara to her parents’ place. Just go with it.
Mari: I wouldn’t dare question it this close to the end.
Alex: At Barbara’s folks’ house, Milo pulls out a knife and proceeds to brutally murder them both while Barbara makes this face:
Later, Gordon and Bullock arrive (still without backup). Gordon finds the bodies on the sofa before Barbara walks in and casually asks what he’s doing there. Upstairs, Bullock is ambushed by Milo, who knocks him down the stairs before rugby-tackling Jim. They grapple on the floor while Barbara continues to fail at facial expressions.
Milo eventually breaks free and runs over to hold a knife against Barbara’s neck, while Jim points a gun at them. Barbara tells Jim to just leave them alone, but Bullock suddenly appears and surprises Milo long enough for Gordon to fire a bullet into his forehead. Barbara ends up with a nasty gash in her neck, but she’s alive. Gordon rushes to her side and reassures her that everything will be OK.
Wayne Manor. Alfred returns from identifying the body and Bruce can’t keep it a secret any longer, so he explains exactly how Reggie died, and what he told them about Sid Bunderslaw. Alfred is more concerned with knowing what’s been going on with Bunderslaw, and Bruce tearfully repeats everything that Sid told him about his father. Alfred assures him that his father was a good man. Bruce replies that ‘even good men have secrets’.
GCPD. Gordon’s colleagues all applaud his entrance, impressed by his serial-killer-killing skills. Inara says that she’s proud of him, and that she was selfishly worried that if Barbara got hurt, his guilt would ruin things between them. He promises her that she’ll always come first, and she offers to take a look at his wounds.
Nygma visits Kristen in the records room. She has a letter from Officer Asshole, saying that he left town and that she should just go have some fun without him. She laments her terrible taste in men and he advises her to ‘read between the lines’. She heads out to go get a drink instead, and he admires his handiwork.
Mari: Yeah, good work leaving your name to something related to a murder!
Alex: At Wayne Manor, Bruce cuts out a picture of his father and adds it to his big board of teenage sleuthing.
Falcone takes delivery of a box at his mansion, which turns out to contain the head of the Irish Mobster. Meanwhile, in a Gotham street somewhere, Maroni and some of his thugs open fire on a couple of Falcone’s men.
Back at the GCPD, Essen calls all the officers together and announces that there have just been three separate attacks on Falcone businesses across town. It’s war. Meanwhile, Penguin sits alone in his club, looking pleased with himself.
One more episode you guys. ONLY ONE MORE! I will be sad to lose #gothamsnark, though.
Quiche: the food of creepy serial killers. #gothamsnark
— Samantha Ania (@SamanthaSpice91) April 28, 2015
“I didn’t even think of Barbara.” Yeah, none of us did either. We liked it when we didn’t have to think of her. #GotHamSnark
— Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) April 28, 2015
Yeah, Jim probably will find you, but I wish he wouldn’t. #gothamsnark
— Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) April 29, 2015
How did Bruce Wayne playing Hardy Boys become the best part of #Gotham? #GotHamsnark
— Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) April 28, 2015
Baby Bruce it is never too serious for a cookie, c’mon bro. #gothamsnark
— Samantha Ania (@SamanthaSpice91) April 28, 2015
*face palms* Gordon has to struggle to figure out a 5 letter word with the last 4 being OYAL. No wonder he needs Batman. #GothamSnark
— Starman Morrison (@GeekyGeekyWays) April 28, 2015
MY MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSHES ARE BEATING EACH OTHER UP JUST LIKE THEY WOULD HAVE ON THEIR RESPECTIVE SHOWS!!!! SQUEE! #gothamsnark
— Samantha Ania (@SamanthaSpice91) April 28, 2015
Next time: AND THEN THEY ALL DIE! (Probably not, but we can dream) in S01 E22 – All Happy Families Are Alike
I'm a thirty-year-old postgrad living in Scotland. When I'm not writing (which, between my degree and Snark Squad, is almost never) I watch entirely too much TV, and live in constant fear of the day that I run out of things to watch.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
