Previously: Dawson needed to be punched in the dick, and everyone else needed a hug. Also, Andie needed an intervention over her hair and make up.
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True Love
Kirsti: It’s been a long time coming, friends, but WE FINALLY FINISHED ANOTHER SEASON. Cue Snark Lady dance party:
Democracy Diva: YAAAS WE DID IT, LET’S DANCE WITH PACEY UNTIL HE KEELS OVER!
K: What, like you’re all surprised it features Pacey Witter? Please.
Dance party over, let’s get down to business! On the main street in Capeside, Mitch and Gail get smoochy while Mitch thoughtfully informs us that Joey is Gail’s maid of honour. This…makes literally no sense, but also I’m distracted by how hideous Joey’s shoes are.
Girl. No.
Diva: Also, isn’t Aunt Julie Bowen Gail’s sister? Should’t she probably be maid of honor? But as the saying goes, contrivance is thicker than blood.
K: EXCELLENT point. Why the fuck is Julie Bowen not at this wedding??
Mitch and Gail go on their giggly way, leaving Dawson and Joey together. He informs her that the ring is gorgeous and asks how the dresses are. She claims that everything she’s heard about ugly bridesmaid’s dresses is true. It really, REALLY is. Have I told you guys about how I got stuck trying on a dress and the only way to get me out was for a tiny Chinese seamstress to punch me in the boobs repeatedly? Yeah.
Diva: My maid of honor dress for my sister’s wedding was gorgeous. Sorry ’bout it. But I’m sure I will not enter my thirties without an ugly bridesmaid dress under my belt!
K: Mine was polyester and itchy and it ended up costing me double the price of the dress because it needed so many alterations…
ANYWAY. Dawson wibbles about how much of a huge deal it is for her to be involved in the ceremony and Joey gets awkward and bails leaving Dawson confused.
HEY YEAH YEAH.
After the credits, Pacey’s loading boxes onto the True Love while Dougie asks if the trip is a good idea. Pacey says he already cleared it with their totally negligent parents, but Dougie’s talking about the fact that all his Capeside problems will seem a million times bigger when he’s all alone on the open ocean. He also asks if Joey knows Pacey’s leaving, and NOPE. Dougie asks if Joey knows how Pacey feels, and Pacey insists that she does, despite having not used his words. Dougie suggests using his words, because “you can’t run away from her, Pacey.”
Diva: And also because we can’t suffer through any more scenes of Dawson and Joey. Do it for us, Pacey!
K: At Capeside High, Jen and Jack are cleaning out their lockers and I squee because my brOTP is back! She says it’s funny that they’re back together, bitter and bitchy, at the end of this crazy year. Jack insists that he’s not bitter, but Jen’s all “Pffff, SURE.” She spots Henry lurking creepily down the hall, and informs Jack to tell Henry that she hopes football camp is the actual fucking worst. It’s at this point that I confess that I spent quite a long time to pull off Jen’s current aesthetic, but it looks less adorable and more teen-pregnancy when you’ve got F cup boobs.
Diva: Preach. You have to be Jen-sized or smaller to look good in any late 90s/early 00s ensemble, and even then, you may still end up looking like an overgrown toddler.
K: Also, her hair is glorious.
Jack basically tells her to grow up. Henry walks up and goes to speak to Jen, then stops and turns to Jack. He asks Jack to ask Jen for something he left in her locker, but Jack refuses to play middle man and tells Jen that “Henry came over here with this ridiculously lame pretence” and that really he’d like a second chance.
Henry’s disgruntled, and Jen says she threw it out. Jack translates that Jen regrets dumping Henry at the prom, and Jen’s all “HAHAHA, NO.” Henry decides to step up and use his words, and apologises to Jen. “You know what, Henry? I’m sorry too. I’m sorry we ever met,” Jen replies. BURN. Henry sad pandas and leaves. Once he’s gone, Jen sad pandas a little too.
Leery Manor. The doorbell rings, and it’s Andie, wearing Overalls of Overall Sadness. She wants Dawson to sign her yearbook, and all I can think of is Melissa Joan Hart’s character in Can’t Hardly Wait, and I *may* have to make that movie my next Snarkathon pick because it’s glorious. Dawson goes to sign it, but Andie stops him because she’s marked a specific page she wants him to sign. It’s a picture of him and Pacey being all buddy buddy.
Diva: I love manipulative, getting-the-gang-back-together Andie, but I cannot take her seriously when she has paired her overalls with a shirt featuring a denim patch that might even have a puppy on it. Have we issued the Willow Rosenberg Crazy Birthday Cake Fashion Seal recently?
K: We have not, and she definitely deserves it.
Dawson’s all “Wow. Subtle…” and Andie informs him that Pacey’s leaving town for the summer and that they’re having a picnic by the docks to say goodbye to him. Dawson snaps that tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner, plus he doesn’t want to go. He bitchily signs her yearbook and she tells him that she’s not over the pain of this either, and that letting go is something that has to happen every day. She leaves.
Elsewhere, Joey’s driving into town when Dougie pulls her over at literally the same place where Pacey kissed her. She’s all “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?” when he asks for her licence and registration. She hands them over, and Dougie gives her a warning for driving five miles under the speed limit. And also tells her that Pacey’s leaving town to sail to Key West. “I just thought you’d like to know before it was too late to, uh, say or do something,” he says, and my head canon says that Dougie ships it just as much as the rest of us.
Diva: I ALSO love manipulative, using-his-police-powers-for-good Doug.
K: SAME.
Joey thanks him for the information, and Dougie smiles that he’s just doing his job. Cut to Joey waiting for Pacey outside a supermarket. She’s unimpressed that his solution is to leave town. She calls him immature, but he insists that fleeing is better than watching her and Dawson make cow eyes at each other all summer.
Diva: TOTALLY FAIR. Except WE still have to watch those fucking cow eyes.
K: She asks if he was planning on saying goodbye, and he’s all “NOPE” because what he really wants is for her to ask him to stay, and he knows it’ll never happen.
Joey insists that that’s not her decision, and Pacey scoffs that them being together has always been her decision. Joey says she asked for time, and Pacey tells her she’s going to get another three months of time. She snaps that he’s giving up, and Pacey chuckles adorably. He tells her to turn around. “It’s your wall. It’s unfinished. Just like us,” he says. Joey looks feelsy, and says this isn’t how she wanted things to end before walking away. Pacey looks like a kicked puppy. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, it’s wedding rehearsal time at Leery Manor. Dawson smiles as he watches his parents run through things. Joey looks nervous. Gail asks if they can speed things up because people are coming for dinner, and the priest lets her and Mitch bail. Which is weird. Whatever. Parentals gone, Dawson says he still has to finish his best man’s speech and asks if Joey has thoughts on it. She points out that relationships aren’t exactly her strong point.
Dawson gets a massive case of bitchface and says “If there’s somewhere else you’d rather be, why don’t you just go?“. Ugh. Fuck off, Dawson. Joey’s all “WTF are you talking about?”, and he bitchily mentions Pacey’s going away party. Joey points out that she’s at Leery Manor, and Dawson eyerolls and complains about how she’s not happy and smiling. The fact that Dawson Leery turns out to be a “You should smile because it displeases me when you don’t” type does not surprise me in the slightest.
Diva: Least shocking revelation of all time.
K: They squabble, and he says he doesn’t deserve to feel like she feels she’s stuck with him. Yeah, but…she does. Because you forced her into this situation, you giant bag of meninist dicks. (D: I thought this said Mennonite, and I got VERY confused.) (K: Hahahahahaha, amazing. But no.) Joey apologises, and Dawson sighs and tells her to go to Pacey’s party. She says that she’s staying, and Dawson looks confused.
At the docks, Grams is overseeing Pacey’s farewell picnic, which is adorable because she hasn’t had a ton of contact with Pacey. Jen, Andie and Jack gripe about their failed and/or non-existent relationships, and Grams calls them “a bunch of old ladies“. LOL. Jen points out that Grams has no idea what their lives are like because she was only ever in love with one guy.
Grams is all “Bitch, please”, and schools them on how she met this totally cute boy who was shipping out the next day, and they had a magical day together. At the end of it, he asked if she’d wait for him, and she froze. Pacey asks if she ever wonders what life would be like if she’d kissed him, and Grams grins that she doesn’t have to wonder, because the next day she got on a plane, went to San Diego, and kissed him in front of the whole crew of his ship.
Jen says she has no idea her grandfather fought in Korea, and Grams is all “Yeah, that wasn’t your grandfather…”. Totally Cute Boy died in battle, and two years later she married Gramps. She tells them that she had 46 years of bliss with one guy and one perfect kiss with another. Also she regrets nothing. She wonders if they’ll be able to say the same, and the gang all look feelsy.
Diva: “You don’t know from pain, idiot children” Grams is my favorite Grams. What a badass.
K: She’s come so far from judgey racist everything-is-religion Grams.
At Leery Manor, the pre-wedding wedding party is in full swing, but Dawson can’t find Joey anywhere. Obviously, she’s down on the dock. He joins her as the Tinkly Orchestra tinkles, and tells her that Bessie needs her to stop by the supermarket. They agree that they don’t want to fight, and she says she has to tell him something if they’re going to have an honest relationship. He looks like the blonde spider on his head is whispering murdery plans in his ear.
Diva: Headcanon accepted. The blonde spider on Dawson’s head actually controls his brain, and THAT is why he is such a dickbag. Mystery solved.
K: Joey tells him that she broke up with Pacey because she didn’t want to lose him. His house and his family feel like home to her, and she couldn’t cope without them. But that wasn’t really what her choice was about, and “if I thought there was a chance that you’d forgive me, I may have chosen differently.” NO. YOU’D HAVE CHOSEN THE ADORABLE PUPPY OVER THE CONTROLLING DOUCHEBAG? What a shocker. Dawson looks offended.
In the car, Jen’s teary. Grams asks what’s wrong, and she says she wishes she’d spoken to Henry before he left town. Grams insists that it’s never too late, and pulls a screaming U-turn, saying that they’re going to catch the bus so Jen can tell Henry how she feels. It’s kind of fabulous.
Diva: GRAMS RUNS OVER GARBAGE CANS. THIS IS THE ACTUAL BEST.
K: Meanwhile, Joey’s walking home from the supermarket and stops in her tracks when she sees that something’s been painted on her wall. The camera spins around her as she reads the words “ASK ME TO STAY“. A paint-spattered Pacey jokily asks what took her so long, because apparently the phone call from Bessie was actually him calling Bessie and asking her to call Joey. Squee.
Diva: I would ordinarily say that that wall message is the cutest thing ever, but paint-splattered Pacey is even cuter.
K: SERIOUSLY. I don’t know how it’s possible that the addition of paint-splatter makes him even more adorable, and yet…
Joey’s confused and asks what all this means. He says he’s not ready to give up on her yet, but he needs to know that she’s not ready to give up either. Hence, wall. Joey looks shocked some more. Pacey smiles a little, and tells her that he spent an hour and a half staring at the wall and thinking after they talked the previous day, and now he figures it’s her turn to stare. He leaves, and Joey stares. Fade to black.
Meanwhile, Grams and the gang are still roadtripping. Andie gripes about how they’ve been driving for hours, but Grams insists it’s impossible to miss a bus full of teenage boys. Like the one parked at the rest area they’re passing. She screams into the parking lot and Jen jumps out of the car and starts screaming Henry’s name. Finally, she spots him and stomps towards him.
Diva: The amount of contrivance required for them to catch up to this bus and discover it somewhere between Capeside and CLEVELAND is astronomic. But I don’t care, because this road trip is a fucking blast, no matter how much I dislike Henry.
K: YUP.
Football players crowd around as she tells him that when he paid $500 to kiss her all those months ago, what he was really offering her was a second chance. There’s some cheesy bullshit about being with the person you’re supposed to be with, and GIRL. You’re 17. He’s 15. Calm down. She tells him that the real reason they didn’t have sex after prom was that she was even more nervous than he was, because she’s never been with anyone she loved. They kiss as football players whistle and clap. Grams, Andie and Jack grin at them proudly.
Diva: My favorite part of this scene is that Jen outs Henry as a virgin in front of eight zillion high school football players, but after a quick awkward laugh, he decides not to care. If he had displayed this level of maturity at literally any other point in their relationship, I might have actually been rooting for them!
K: Agreed.
Back at Leery Manor, Pacey stares at Joey expectantly. She finally comes over to talk to him, and tells him she can’t give him a reason to stay. She needs to work through her own shit first. He tells her that she’s made her choice, and they both sad panda. He says sadly that she should have made that decision months ago and saved them all a lot of time, effort and heartache.
Diva: No, Pacey. That would have made for terrible TV.
K: Dawson comes out to ruin everything some more, but then I’m forced to chuckle because he makes a comment about how every corner of the triangle is present and accounted for. Joey grabs the disposable camera from him and bails to take photos. Pacey calls after her to ask if he gets a goodbye, and she gives him a gruff “Goodbye, Pacey” before turning away to hide her feels.
Diva: I know she’s going through some shit, but I legit got ANGRY at Joey for that half-assed goodbye. CAN YOU NOT SEE HIM? DID YOU NOT SEE THE WALL? MY GOD WOMAN.
K: I maintain it’s because Dawson’s standing right there, glaring at them.
Dawson bitchfaces some more and demands to know why Pacey’s there. He says he’s just there for the wedding, and that he’s leaving town tomorrow. Dawson snaps that he’ll pass on Pacey’s congratulations to Mitch and Gail, and Pacey says he should be congratulating Dawson because Joey’s made her choice. “Things are never going to be the same between us, are they?” Pacey asks. Dawson gives him a murdery glare and snaps “No“. Pacey sighs and leaves.
Rest stop. The football camp bus pulls out with many cheers, and Jack taunts Jen that she’ll have to resign from the bitter club now. Grams tells Jen how proud she is, and Jen says she feels like an idiot, despite being happy. Grams hugs her. Jen looks thoughtfully at Jack, and says they’ve got something else to do on their “carpe diem roadtrip“. Jack’s all “HELL NO”, but Jen asks Grams the fastest way to Boston.
Diva: I wish we were in this car so goddamn badly. I also kind of wish this trip had gotten its own episode, complete with scenes of Grams and the gang singing along to Beatles songs on the radio. Or “Daydream Believer,” since Kirsti has legit not stopped listening to that song since we covered that episode.
K: It’s true. Yesterday, I sent Diva an email that said “Should I be embarrassed that I’m listening to Daydream Believer for the fifth time today?”. And yes, I want more roadtrip scenes and less Blonde Spider scenes.
Wedding. Dawson and Joey dance, and he bemoans the fact that he doesn’t know what she’s thinking any more. She tearfully says she’s thinking about summer and how much there is to do. Then she stares at his chest and tries not to cry. In Boston, Jack finds Parker Ethan, and rushes over to him despite the fact that he’s talking to a buff dude.
Ethan asks what he’s doing there, and Jack stutters that he’s not afraid any more. He kisses Ethan, but Ethan pulls away. Jack thinks it’s because there are people around, and says it’s okay because he’s got the courage to do it now. Ethan’s all “Yeah, no”. Because Buff Guy is Brad. “Your ex-boyfriend, Brad?” Jack says. Nope. Just boyfriend. Oof. Poor Jackers. Brad bails as Jack tears up. Ethan says their timing was wrong, but Jack gives zero fucks. Ethan apologises and leaves. Jack looks teary.
Diva: My notes abruptly went from “YAAAAAAS” to awwwwww noooooo.” Also, this moment is credited as the first “passionate” kiss between two men on primetime TV. (I believe Will and Grace had an earlier one, but it was a kiss between friends to make a political statement about network TV not airing same-sex kisses, so I guess that’s what the “passionate” qualifier means.) This show has its moments (and episodes, and even seasons) of terribleness, but Jack’s storyline really was somewhat history-making for its time.
K: Clearly, given that it’s the least passionate kiss of all time and lasts like a second. That said, this means we’ve covered BOTH the first “passionate” same sex kisses on primetime TV, because from memory Willow and Tara’s kiss in The Body (*cries forever*) was the first lesbian kiss on network TV.
Leery Manor. Dawson makes his best man’s speech, which is all about how his parents had a life before him. Shocker. He says love means being able to forgive anything, and that love ends and begins again. He looks at Joey as he says this and she gets SERIOUS THOUGHTS face. Fade to black.
K: RIGHT?! It was so freaking weird.
After the Not Commercial Break, I flail a little because we’re getting to the most iconic Dawson’s Creek moment of all time.
Diva: I’ve been writing “uh oh, Dawson’s getting emotional” in my notes in increasingly intense wording throughout the entire episode, so, yeah, I guess I’d have to agree.
K: Joey finds Dawson on the dock as the Tinkly Orchestra tinkles. She tells him his speech was beautiful, and asks if he meant what he said. He assures her that he does, and tells her that’s why she should go find Pacey. Joey’s all “WHUT”, and he tells her that she gave up the chance to go to Paris for him. He was selfish and wanted her to stay with him, so he didn’t force the issue. But he should have. He refuses to make the same mistake again.
Joey’s all “What if I want to stay?“, and Dawson’s all “Bitch, please” because even he can see the truth. Joey tears up, and so does he. He tells her that Pacey is this year’s Paris and that she has to find out for herself if it’s a mistake. All that matters, he says, is what Joey wants. Joey insists that she doesn’t know what she wants, but Dawson disagrees. “You want him. You want him like I want you. You love him like I love you. The difference is, he loves you back the same way. And you deserve that,” he says.
Joey cries as Dawson insists he’s not going to stand in the way. “You’re free,” he tells her, and I snort laugh because OF COURSE HE HAS TO GIVE HER PERMISSION TO DATE SOMEONE THAT’S NOT HIM.
Diva: Dawson basically just said, “You now have my permission to act according to your own free will!” … *slams head against wall repeatedly*
K: Jesus Christ. This guy and Christian Grey would be BFFs, I swear to God.
Joey cries that she wants them to still be friends, but he says they’re just words. She’s going to walk away from him. She says she has to leave or she’ll never know. He tells her to go. She does, and THEN IT HAPPENS. THE MOST MAGICAL MOMENT IN DAWSON’S CREEK HISTORY:
Diva: YES, YES, THANK GOD, THIS MOMENT IS FINALLY HERE! (Also, honestly, I thought it would last a little longer. The whole crying jag is pretty much the length of that gif. I wanted a little more Dawson misery than that.)
K: ALL THE MISERY.
Joey runs tearfully up the driveway as Mitch and Gail drive away. Grams pulls up at the same time, and Jen watches Joey go in confusion. Then she sees Dawson crying like the world is over on the dock. House of McPheelings. Jack walks in to find Jerky McPhee there. Jerky asks what’s going on, and Jack says he wants to be alone. Jerky says Jack can talk to him, and Jack insists he won’t want to hear it.
Jerky’s all “TRY ME”, and Jack tells him Ethan and Brad got back together. And he found out after he kissed Ethan. Jerky gets awkward, and Jack starts ranting that Jerky’s disgusted by him. Jerky insists it’s not true, and that Jack’s just angry. Jack’s all “DUH” because he spent the whole year working up to kissing Ethan and now it’s a trainwreck. Just like the rest of his life. He breaks down and cries that he can’t keep doing this. He can’t cope with a teenage life that comes with the usual drama plus an extra layer of fear and stress.
“I didn’t ask to be gay,” he says. “No more than I asked for a gay son. But boy, am I glad I got one,” Jerky replies. He hugs Jack, and Jack cries and I’m maybe crying a little bit too.
K: Meanwhile, Dawson is sad panda-ing around his empty house. He heads into the former Shrine o’ Spielberg (sorry. I just had to bring it back from the Nickname Graveyard) to find Jen, Andie and Jack waiting on his bed. Jen says they thought he could use some cheering up, so they brought movies. Dawson starts to say that he wants to be alone, but Jen insists those words are used far too much in pop culture.
The conversation turns meta and ridiculous, and he joins them on the bed. He sadly asks what they did today, and Andie launches into an excited spiel as our obligatory female singer-songwriter does her thing. (D: I cringed so hard when they actually meta-referenced the female singer-songwriter in the background.) Pan across to the ugly ass painting of Mini!Dawson and Mini!Joey that Aunt Gwen did.
That cuts us to Joey, sprinting down the marina. But, like, she stopped to change her clothes so she clearly can’t have been in that much of a rush. She screams Pacey’s name as she jumps onto the True Love. He walks down the dock behind her, and she excitedly says that she wants to talk to him. He says it’s too late and that he’s leaving town.
She insists that she doesn’t want to stop him, and starts word vomiting about how she doesn’t want to stop anyone or be stopped by anyone, and this whole year was about her working that out. He starts casting off, then stops when she starts talking about how he’s challenged her all year and been there for her every step of the way. He tells her that he’s leaving in 30 seconds, so she should get to the point.
Joey looks terrified. “I think I’m in love with you,” she says. Pacey stops dead. “You think or you know?” he asks. “I know,” Joey says as she walks towards him. She says she’s known since he kissed her and maybe even before and I flail and squeal and flail some more. She doesn’t want to run from her feelings any more. Pacey stands up and smiles, and asks what they’re going to do. “I want to come with you,” she says.
Diva: DUH. “Ask me to stay” is cute, but “ask me to take you on a three-month sex romp aboard True Love” is SO MUCH BETTER.
K: Agreed.
Pacey’s shocked, but happy shocked. He says Bessie and the B&B need her. “Not as much as I need you, Pacey,” she replies. I scream at my television some more.
Obviously, I love this episode because MY SHIP IS LITERALLY SAILING and also Dawson makes that amazing cryface. Also obviously, I give very few fucks about Jen and Henry, but I have a ton of Jack feels and I’m thrilled that my brOTP is back to help him deal with all his post-Ethan feels. It’s not a perfect episode, but it’s still pretty great. Because the HMAS Pacephine is finally here. For real this time.
Diva: If it were any other couple on earth, I would have mocked the sailing-into-the-sunset thing mercilessly. But I cannot think of a better way for HMAS Pacephine to set sail than by LITERALLY SETTING SAIL. I hope someone packed the condoms!
Next time: We rank this endless season. Find out if we can remember what actually happened back in the early episodes in our Dawson’s Creek Season 3 Wrap Up.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
