Previously: We met War, he had a pretty car, and the brothers went their separate ways.
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Free to Be You and Me
Samantha: We open at a Motel of the Week where Sam is sleeping all by his lonesome. And shirtless. Which I only point out because it’s super rare for the guys to be shirtless on this show. I think I remember reading somewhere once that J2 specifically asked for that to be the case. So I always find it interesting when it does happen. Anyway, yeah, Sam is sleeping and I swear he looks broody and troubled even in his sleep. Nothing is safe from manpain.
Kirsti: Brooding’s what Sammys do best.
Samantha: He wakes up, and turns over to see Jessica, his long dead girlfriend, in the bed in a pretty virginal white. “Hey, baby,” she says, while Sam looks shocked. Then he looks longingly at her, while declaring that he’s dreaming. “Or you’re not. What’s the difference, I’m here.” Except that I think there’s a huge difference. If you’re there while he’s not dreaming that a BFD, you know?
Jess asks Sam what he’s doing, because she watches the show and sees the pattern beginning to emerge. Sammy insists that it’s different this time and I take a deep breath. Jess declares that she wants to save Sam from the terrible plot pattern that is starting to overtake the show. She also reminds him that the people closest to him die and that things are never going to change. Sam nostril acts as Jessica disappears. Here is shirtless Sam. Welcome.
K: Meanwhile, I got weirdly engrossed in how bizarrely straight Sam’s sideburns are. I don’t even know why, they just seemed very…precise.
Samantha: BLOOOOOOOOOOOD!
One Week Earlier, we cut to the same motel where Sam is getting out of the car that he hitched a ride with I guess. Must be nice to be a giant guy who can hitch rides with minimal concern for safety. Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd plays as we montage over to Dean, suited up and heading into a case, solo. Sam burns all of his fake IDs in the sink because he is SRS BSNS about giving up hunting.
K: And then he dies of toxic plastic fumes. Sam. Dude. This is basic stuff.
Samantha: Dean flashes his ID and asks a morgue doctor about the exsanguinated patients. Sam gets a job at a bar and works, as Dean slams a vamp against a car (with an “Eat it, Twlight!”). Sam slices lemons, as Dean wipes blood off of his face. Do you see how different their lives are now??????? I’m going to stop recapping every moment of this montage except to say that a blonde waitress eyes up Sam appreciatively, which, fair. She has Hungry Eyes, which is how I shall refer to her now, as I’ve gotten the song stuck in my head. (K: A+ decision. Also, that was my little brother’s favourite song when he was three because Mum was a little obsessed with the Dirty Dancing soundtrack…)
Dean is cleaning blood off of his jacket when Castiel appears, startling Dean, who enquires how Cas could find him with the symbols carved into his ribs and all. Cas says that Bobby told him and looks quizzically around the room for Sam. Dean tells him about the trial separation and asks for his necklace back. Nobody probably cares but me, but this is important because no matter how pissed he is at Sam right now, he wants the necklace his little brother gave him. The Samulet gives me the feels.
K: Right there with you. Also, throughout this entire scene, there are serious personal space issues going on between Dean and Cas. Like, they’re standing weirdly close to each other. Queerbait-y fan service kind of close.
Samantha: Castiel tells him not yet and asks for help finding an Archangel, Raphael, or a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel” as Dean hilariously calls him. The plan is to trap and interrogate him about God’s whereabouts. Oh, and he’s the angel who smited (smote?) Castiel in the season 4 finale. “So what, I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” Dean snarks. Castiel makes “I don’t understand that reference” face. “I need your help, because you are the only one that will help me. Please,” Castiel says, and my endless sad feels for Castiel start up.
K: Cas is an adorable squish with a terrible plan. And let’s be real here – Dean eats so much terrible diner food that he probably doesn’t poop for a week anyway. Especially without Sam around to make him eat something green once in a while.
Samantha: Bar of Whiney Sam Pain. It’s pre hours or post hours or dead hours and Hungry Eyes waitress asks Sam (who is going by the name Keith) if he plays darts. They banter about what to play for before she starts interrogating him about his past. She noticed that he finished the New York Times crossword puzzle and finds that suspicious. Girl is getting her Nancy Drew on, I guess. Hungry Eyes proposes that when she wins the game, Sam buys her dinner, with a side of Entire Life Story. Sam agrees, right before nailing 3 bullseyes.
Dean and Castiel get out of the Impala and head into a police station. Cas info dumps about why they’re here. It’s weird that didn’t come up during the entire long car ride. The deputy saw Raphael and they need to interrogate him. Puppy Cas’s plan is to tell the officer that he saw an Angel of the Lord and that they need the information. Dean scoffs, takes control of the situation, and passes Castiel a fake ID. While fixing his tie.
K: Dean Winchester: mother hen.
Samantha: Inside, Dean introduces them and Cas awkwards. Misha Collins is too good at just standing awkwardly. In a rather popular moment, Castiel holds up his FBI badge upside down. Dean eyerolls and fixes it, while claiming Cas is new. I dunno, even all these years later, this whole scene is still puppy Cas adorable to me.
K: I also love that Dean’s face is all “Are you fucking kidding me how are you such an amateur?” when this is literally Castiel’s first time undercover. And probably holding a badge. That face says “We’ve been doing this for years, how do you still fuck it up?”.
Samantha: Yup. It is the face of the long suffering. Drama Queen Dean.
The officer tells them what went down. He was at a gas station when 30-40 people started murdering each other, Hunger Games cornucopia style. Castiel informs us that “It’s angels and demons, probably. They’re skirmishing all over the globe.” Dean makes a face like he can’t believe this is happening, but honestly what did he think was going to happen? Cas was suddenly going to be good at this part? The guy’s default face is “I Don’t Understand that Reference Awkward.” He tries to save the situation with an overly serious “we all have our demons, Walt.” The officer goes on to explain about an explosion that was pure white and leveled the gas station. Everyone died, except for one guy, who survived without a scratch. Walt IDs him as a local mechanic, but we all know better. It’s our ninja turtle. He’s being held in a place called, St. Pete’s.
Cut to St. Pete’s, a mental hospital. A man sits vacantly in a chair as Castiel and Dean look in. They conclude that this is only an empty vessel now and Dean wonders if this is what he would look like if Michael wore him. “No not at all, Michael is much more powerful. It will be far worse for you.” Which is a pretty raw deal. Do archangels fully explain what the repercussions of possession would be? I’m going to go ahead and guess no. So, sure, angels have to ask permission first but other than that there isn’t a lot of difference between that and demonic possession. Informed consent is important. I’m looking at you, Christian Grey.
K: TRUTH. But also, Cas really sucks at being reassuring. Although I guess maybe he’s trying to make sure Dean knows the truth?? Which is something…
Samantha: Sam is doing some Book of Revelations research on his laptop, because he’s totally definitely out of the game, god why won’t anyone believe him? He scrolls through his phone and I take too much time to examine his contacts. Who are all these people? Is there a hunter directory that beefs up the Winchester’s phone books? Anyway, he settles on Bobby. He fills Bobby in on the storm and how it’s tied to Revelations. Bobby’s all “Cool story, bro. Why can’t you handle it?” Sam awkwards about being done and Bobby gives him crap. Sam rudely hangs up on this excellent father figure to brood at his laptop.
K: Bobby’s “OH, THAT’D BE YOU” was fabulous. I may have applauded a little.
Samantha: Random Scary House of Horrors. Seriously, this place is going to be featured in the next Saw movie. Castiel and Dean are setting up for an angel snatching ritual. Cas brought them oil, that he had to go to Jerusalem for, ’cause it’s special and rare. Just, maybe, keep that info in your head. For future exasperation. The ritual has to go down at sunrise (because!) and they discuss the likelihood that they will survive. Dean will, because the angels need to keep him unharmed for Michael’s use (ew?) but Cas is probably going to die.
K: I don’t know why I find that so adorable, but I do.
Samantha: Dean cannot let that abide and pushes, asking if he wants booze or women. Weary misogyny shots. Cas awkwards hard and somehow this causes Dean to infer that he is a virgin. (K: Whereas my head canon says the awkwardness means something totally different…) Castiel, interestingly, says that he has “never had occasion” to have sex. He doesn’t say that “angels don’t have sex” so does this mean that angels do have sex, just like humans, and it’s just Cas who hasn’t? Dean replies “There are two things that I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin.” Okay, the Bert and Ernie thing felt weird but obviously, to Dean Winchester, dying a virgin would be the omg worst ever, so they head off to a brothel.
Bar of Whiney Sam Pain. Sam is working when some Guys Who are Obviously Hunters come in and start calling his name. But, Sam is Keith here, so he tries the ever successful “Sam is my middle name” routine on Hungry Eyes. Random Hunters and Keith sit down and discuss the omens in the area. The hunters ask for his help but Keith sticks to his guns. Random Hunter #1 asks “What baggage is so heavy it can’t be stowed away for the freakin apocalypse?” But Random Hunter doesn’t understand that Sam Feels are heaps and oodles more important than anything else. The hunters leave and Hungry Eyes comes over to bug him some more. She insists that he’s going to tell her everything and it’s so weird to me. He’s been working there like a few days. Why does she feel so entitled to know everything about him? How can she even know yet if she likes him enough to want to know everything about him?
K: He’s, like, the prettiest of ever. So of COURSE she likes him enough to want to know everything about him.
Samantha: Brothel of Misogyny and Making Samantha Frustrated. The dynamic duo drink beer and Castiel looks hella nervous.
K: Legit, girl. Especially when Cas’ face is screaming “I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS BUT DEAN WANTS ME TO SO I’LL DO IT”. (S: So much yuck.)
Marines: Look, guys, I took a time-out from commenting on this post because busy weekend was busy but I just had to jump in here and comment with Bible story-time. In the book of Genesis, it says that angels started lusting after women and their children were giants and also awful. It’s heavily implied that this was one of the reasons God sent a flood to wipe mankind out and start again…
OKAY. BYE.
Samantha: A girl in, oh man I’m shocked, the sexy version of the white nightie, comes over to Castiel. Her name is Chastity and Dean cackles at this. As she leads Cas off to a back room, he gives him last minute instructions. “If she asks for a credit card? No. And just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get her, tiger. Don’t make me push you.” Cas takes the money and heads back with Chastity. As Dean shares a toast with his choice? woman? person? we hear a scream from where Castiel went. She’s yelling at Castiel and throws her shoe at him. Dean asks what is going on and Cas replies “I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn’t her fault her father, Gene, ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office.”
Then Dean responds and I just kinda want to puke. Here. “Oh no, man. This whole industry is run on absent fathers. It’s the natural order.” Sometimes, my tv boyfriend makes me sad and pukey. Then security heads back so Dean and Cas take off. They leave out the back, while Dean cracks up. “It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard.” The scene ends and I just feel gross.
K: You and me both. This entire “Dean tries to get Cas laid” subplot was so icky and unnecessary.
Samantha: Bar of Whiny Sam Pain. Hungry Eyes and Sam are sitting at a table eating. Hungry Eyes wants to know who the hunters from earlier really were. Sam non answers and she half guesses that he’s in witness protection. He denies this and she says “Don’t mean to pry. My bad.” Girl. You are the personification of trying to pry. Sam relents and tells her some half truths: he was in business with his brother, good at the job, made mistakes, and a lot of people got hurt. She deduces that he was an addict and fishes out her 3 years sober chip. She advises Sam, “No one has ever done anything so bad, they can’t be forgiven.” I dunno, maybe I’m hella jaded, but this sounds like the stupidest thing ever.
K: When this episode first aired, I was convinced she was going to turn out to be a demon because of her unnatural level of interest in Sam’s every move.
Samantha: Non commercial break. Dean and Cas close the blinds in Raphael’s vessel’s room. Cas circles the man with the special oil because once it is lit, no angel can pass through it. Castiel explains that there’s an “open phone line” between a vessel and his angel. He chants some nonsense words (I’m going with Enochian) into the man’s ear. Dean wants to know how long they’re going to have to wait for Raphael to show. Cas just tells him to be ready, which so means it could take awhile. Won’t someone be coming in to check on this patient at some point? (K: Nah. Patients never get checked on in non-medical TV shows.)
Then we cut to Cas and Dean pulling up to their abandoned house and it’s really weird because I kept thinking I’d missed a scene. But no, just poor pacing. They walk in with Dean complaining that he lost a day. Cas stops him short because Archangel Raphael is hanging in the living room, looking like he’s suspended on wings of electric currents.
K: Archangel wings are kind of badass.
Samantha: Dean scoffs that the best he could do was black out the room. “And the eastern seaboard,” Raphael replies. Dean looks mildly humbled. But only for a moment, as he continues to taunt Raphael and introduce himself. He’s clearly putting on some false bravado. He strolls over to the cooler and grabs a beer. Raphael is talking about how he could take Dean to Michael and it wouldn’t be pleasant. Dean looks mildly shaken up, with his back to the angels, as Raphael reminds him of the time he had stomach cancer. He turns around and says,
“I bet you didn’t imagine one thing. We knew you were coming you stupid son of a bitch.”
He drops the lighter and Raphael is trapped in a ring of fire. The archangel looks murderously at Dean, who completely loses his cool and says, “Don’t look at me, it was his idea.” Castiel looks at him like “are you for serious?” Cas demands to know where God is but Raphael only says that he is dead.
Bar of Stupid Sam Feels. Sam is washing a table in the darkened bar when someone walks in. Sam tells them that they’re closed before turning and seeing that it’s one of the hunters (Hank) from earlier. He’s alone and fairly beat up. He starts off by asking if there’s anything Sam wants to tell him, so you know that this is going no where good. Sam asks where the other guys are. Steve is dead and Hank is pissed. They got jumped by 10+ demons and the demons told them crazy things about Sam. Through clenched teeth Sam insists that demons lie but Hank seems pretty sure the demon was telling the truth. He demands the truth as the other hunter (Reggie maybe?) comes busting in with a knife to Hungry Eyes’ throat. I mean, okay, as viewers we have the benefit of knowing that this time, the demon was truthing. But what proof/reasoning does Hank have for trusting the word of a demon so much he’s willing to hurt a random girl? Is it supposed to be a grief thing?
K: The whole Sam-tries-to-live-a-normal-life thing is SO FUCKING MELODRAMATIC and I give zero fucks about it.
Samantha: One Not Commercial Break later we are back in the abandoned house where Raphael is telling Dean and Cas that God must be dead because the 20th Century was awful, and He wouldn’t have let that happen. Sounds like the angels of heaven are having the same faith crisis that many a lowly human have. Castiel looks panicked and Dean quips, “Oh yeah, well then who invented the Chinese basket trick?” I had to google this and it’s definitely a sex thing involving a swing. I truly thought it was going to be a magic trick.
K: Sometimes it’s best just to let Dean’s random comments go through to the keeper without checking what they actually mean. I mean, we have limited amounts of brain bleach on hand.
Samantha: Raphael has some daddy issues that sound remarkably similar to some other boys I know. Raphael can’t understand how Dean can not care that he’s living in a godless universe. Dean snaps that it’s no excuse for starting the apocalypse. Raphael says that the angels are tired and they just want paradise.
Bar of Anger. Sam tells Reggie to put the knife down and leave Lindsey alone. He puts the knife down but keeps hold of her. Sam admits that everything the demon said was true, he started the apocalypse.
Back to Dean and Castiel. Cas, yelling over wind and rain, thinks that God has to be alive because he was brought back to life. Raphael hypothesizes that Lucifer raised him because he needs rebellious angels. Cas won’t believe it and turns to go. Raphael warns him not to leave him here, trapped in angel fire, because he will find him. “Maybe one day, but today you’re my little bitch.” So. Misogyny shots. Dean looks dramatically at Raphael and goes, “What he said.” Dean and Cas are also soaked at this point.
Bar of Oh Shit I Forgot About this Scene. Hank pulls out a vial of demon blood and Sam looks horrified. He wants Sam to drink this and hulk out and kill all the demons that killed Steve. Or Lindsey dies. Sam tries to reason with Hank and then they all dramatic stare at each other before Reggie charges Sam. They all fight a bit before Reggie holds Sam’s mouth open and Hank pours the blood in. Teenage me was screeeaaaaming at the TV by this point. Sam collapses back and gets up slowly. Hank asks if that was so bad and Sam responds by spitting the blood in his face.
K: Logic is not Sam’s strong point, clearly.
Samantha: Impala. Dean is empathizing with Cas over missing fathers. Remember, back in season 1, when they were looking for Papa Winchester? Who was being the worst? Dean always knew in his heart that he was still alive, even when logic pointed to him being dead. So if Cas believes God is alive then he should go find him. He follows this up by saying that he’s really good, “especially without my brother.” Look. I know we’re all super mad at Sam right now but this hurts my heart, I can’t help it. Dean spouts some more bullshit about being happy to be alone and Castiel does the angel version of an eyeroll and poofs away while Dean’s not looking.
Cut to Sam in bed. Jessica wakes him up and Sam leans over and kisses her cheek. She wonders if this is his life now. Sam sits up and turns his back on her in order to pontificate better. Of course this means she takes the opportunity to morph into Mark Pellegrino aka Lucifer. (K: I may have snort laughed a little over that transformation.) Introductions are made and Sam is horrified. Lucifer says that Sam is hard to find and Sam wants to know why Lucifer wants to find him. Lucy says that Sam freed him so he wants to give him everything. Sam wants none of it and Lucifer apologizes because it turns out that Sam is his true vessel. Nick is just plan b, and can barely contain him. Lucifer says that Sam was in that chapel because he’s The One, but that has never really jived with me and Azazel’s Demon Kid’s Olympics from season 2. I mean, Sam was the favorite but he could have easily died and in fact, did. So were all of those kids true vessels?
K: Don’t poke the plotholes, Samantha. The entire show will unravel around us.
Samantha: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know better.
Anyway, Lucifer says that he will find Sam and Sam will let him in. Sam realizes that Lucifer needs consent because he is an angel. He declares that he will kill himself before he lets Lucifer in, but the devil will only bring him back.
I’m kind of meh on this episode. I know everyone loves the Cas and Dean stuff, and it’s amusing, but it’s not enough to elevate the episode past meh for me. They had to do something with Sam’s story, because what he did was so awful, they couldn’t just ignore it and move forward. Of course Sam is Lucifer’s vessel as Dean is Michael’s, that’s the whole fate angle of the season. This episode just feels like a means to move the season forward, which is fine. A little forgettable.
K: This episode really isn’t great for me. The whole thing feels like it’s built around that final reveal, and the construction of the whole thing is pretty flimsy. Like one-gust-of-wind-and-it-will-all-collapse kind of flimsy. Still, I guess it was worth it for that moment where Cas held out his ID upside down.
Next time on Supernatural: Dean takes a trip to the future on S05 E04 – The End.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.