Previously: Kara convinced Cat she wasn’t Supergirl and it was stupid.
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Childish Things
Catherine: Since we’re so late on posting this, I’ll let you all know that in the previouslies we’re reminded that Jimmy thinks Maxwell Carlisle is planning a counter-move against the Kryptonians, Astra is still evil, and Winn is still a garbage dick. Oh, and Hank is Martian Manhunter.
I honestly can’t remember if any of this is even relevant to the episode but only because this episode sucked so much that I immediately blocked it out after I was done watching.
On to the fun!
Marines: I’m definitely super excited to press play right now…
Samantha: Yeah, I was really grumpy about watching this.
Catherine: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t get too excited, girls. We have a lot of episode ahead.
First we’re taken to a maximum security prison in somewhere, America. Two guards are delivering a meal to a prisoner and one says that the last time he had to take this guys a meal he had nightmares for a month.
The guard puts the tray in a slot on the door and we can hear the sound of a creepy voice doll saying ‘I love you’ and ‘do you want to play’ and shit. As a child of the Chucky generation, I’m already done with this. Done!
Marines: The answer to “do you want to play” is seriously always no.
Samantha: I can count the number of horror movies I’ve seen on one hand and Chucky is not one of them and it’s because I am a wimp and this is terrifying.
Catherine: The guard notices through the window on the door that the prisoner is laying on the ground, possibly unconscious so he goes in. IDK why he wouldn’t call for backup. It can’t be policy to go in a violent offenders cell alone like this. But okay.
Of course, when he goes in the prisoner is not unconscious and in a murder mood. He throws what looks like a yo-yo with a Swiss army knife attached at the guy’s heart.
Samantha: Wait…..HOW DID HE GET A BUNCH OF KNIVES WHAT THE WHAT HE DIDN’T JUST BUILD KNIVES.
Catherine: He built them in knife shop.
Look, I’m not gonna jerk you guys around with this villain reveal, okay? It’s Toyman. Can we just….I honestly don’t have the time to like—it’s fucking Toyman. Are we clear? (M: It’s Toyman.) Good.
Toyman is a Superman villain from old school 1940’s comics. Over the years, the name and mantle of Toyman has been taken up by various copy-cat killers but the original and most prevalent Toyman is named Winslow Schott and his whole thing is that he turns regular toys into killing devices. Jack in the Box bombs, dolls with toxic gas inside them, Furbies with their full potential for evil laid unbound. (S: Never got a Furbie because wimp.) (C: That’s why you’re still alive.)
Anyway, he’s a villain from the crackerjack days of Supes where they created a ton of one off, ridiculously premised villains to try and see what would stick. For some reason he stuck. He’s annoying and terrible but all the good villains have tons of copyrights so we’re just gonna have to watch this one.
Back to the episode, Kara and Hanktian (Henshunter?) (M: Hanktian Henshunter) are flying through the sky and Kara is laughing. She tells Hentian that she’s having fun and he’s like No! No fun! Proper flight training! He goes so hot and cold with the comedic relief lately, I’m getting to the point where I think Jon just created Hank’s persona so he could have a serious side and a playful side like the twins in Sister Sister. (S: Oh man. Shoot. Why doesn’t Netflix have Sister Sister?)
They land and Supergirl tells Hank that he could fly around all the time if he wanted and Hank tells her that the worlds needs him to be Hank more than it needs him to be a super-powered alien that fights crime…for some reason.
Samantha: It’s because they couldn’t afford the CGI of constantly Jon Jones-ing him.
Catherine: That’s definitely the reason.
Alex is there and tells them that she did some techie shit and found the Room 52 that Jimmy was trying to get into a few weeks ago at Maxwell Carlisle’s bottle cap factory or whatever the fuck he does. (M: He definitely bottles True Blood.) (S: He publishes the Vampire Diaries books.)
They decide they’re gonna infiltrate Lord Tech and it’s gonna require sneakiness.
Over at CatCo, Cat is in her office interviewing Lucy. Cat asks her about Lois (who is Lucy’s older sister, remember) and Lucy tells her that she and Lois don’t really get along. This is canonically accurate, by the way. Cat is surprised to hear this because apparently Lois portrayed her sister differently in her biography. The name of the biography is ‘A Time To Soar’, btw. I’m dying. Lois is the best.
Lucy tells Cat that’s she never read the biography and Cat tells her that she’s the smart one as well as the pretty one.
Lol. Right. Sure. (S: I love your love for Lois.)
Cat runs through a list of Lucy’s accomplishments and Lucy asks her if this is a job interview. Like there’s another reason Cat would be talking to her? (M: Honestly, under what pretenses would Lucy be here…?) (S: To compare what it’s like being married to Harrison Ford and Channing Tatum.) Cat tells her it is if she wants it to be and points out that she had a great job but now she’s here meeting with Cat on short notice wearing ‘glorified yoga pants’ so she clearly needs a job.
Cat also says that Lucy is smart and accomplished and she has to work because otherwise she’s gonna go nuts. Lucy asks her if she has a job for her and we cut to outside the office where Kara, Jimmy and Winn are speculating about what is being said in the interview. Winn points out that Kara could use her superhearing and Kara says that that feels like eavesdropping because it is. (S: Never stopped you before, homegirl.)
Some faceless shifting extra comes in and turns up the TV above Winn’s desk where a news report is talking about Toyman’s escape. Winn jumps up and mutes the TV again. Jimmy and Kara look perplexed. (M: WHAT COULD IT MEAN? DOES HE HATE VOLUME?)
I just realized how many times a exposition is delivered on this show via a news reporter on TV. But…they work in a newsroom? Shouldn’t they be hearing this from, like, sources and shit? They seem to get scooped an awful lot. Lois wouldn’t stand for that shit. (M: Too true. That’s why she’s soaring.)
Samantha:
I’m not even sorry.
Catherine: Don’t be, your head’s in the game.
Lucy and Cat come out of Cat’s office and Lucy tells Jimmy and Kara that Cat asked her to be her general counsel. IDK what that is, I’m guessing it’s a lawyer thing? Could also be an army thing. General Counsel. (M: Lawyer thing. Head lawyer of a legal department.) (S: I keep forgetting that she’s a lawyer so I thought it was like Head Advice Giver or some shit.)
Jimmy points out that Lucy would be working here in CatCo, like, on the same floor as him but he doesn’t seem pleased by this because, remember he doesn’t actually like her that much even though he’s dating her. (M: Because plot.) Before they can talk any farther a veritable cadre of FBI agents march in and announce that they’re looking for Winslow Scott Jr.
Guess who that is.
Yep, we finally get an explanation for why someone would name a kid Winn when all that kid ever does is fail. (M: AHAHAHAHA.) (S: Cracking up in my local cafe.) Apparently Winn is the Toyman’s son. I can’t say I’m terribly surprised since he’s such a repressed nerd.
We cut to a conference room in CatCo where the main FBI lady is interviewing Winn. It took me till the second time watching this to realize that she’s played by Emma Caulfield who played Anya on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
She has totally different hair now so don’t judge me.
Mari: I TOTALLY DIDN’T NOTICE. Wow. Weird. So weird.
Samantha: Oh, I noticed and WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Catherine: This is the part where my stomach started to sink as I realized this was gonna be a Winn-based episode.
Sigh.
Mari: It was supposed to be my episode too. Hahahasorry.
Catherine: We’re THROUGH professionally, Mari. I’m certain this was trickery.
Anya asks him if he’s seen his father and he hasn’t. He tells her the day his father set off a toy bomb and killed 6 people is the day he stopped being his son.
Outside on the balcony Kara, who actually was listening in this time (S: Because her morals wibble wobble.), catches up to Winn and they talk a bit about his daddy issues. She says that she knew his dad was in jail but not that he’s the Toyman and Winn tells her that he didn’t want to tell her because he didn’t want her to look at him the way she’s looking at him now. Idk how that is. Melissa Benoist doesn’t have, like A TON of range. (M: But she’s got great super hair.) (C: Kryptonian shampoo.)
Winn tells her that the worst part is that when he was a kid his dad was normal and a great dad. I don’t know what Winn thinks ‘worst part’ means in this context? (S: That he has the memories of the good times to hurt even more because he can miss that.) (C: Oh sure.)
Winn tells us Toyman’s origin story, that his boss stole his toy designs and got rich off them and instead of standing up for himself Winslow sent a bomb to his bosses office. But instead of his boss opening it his secretary did and the bomb killed her and 5 other people. This is basically the same origin story that Toyman has in the comics.
Kara says that at least Winslow is keeping his distance and Winn shows her a toy that he found on his desk that morning. When you pull the string it says for him to meet his dad at their favorite place. Kara asks him why he didn’t tell the Feds and he says he doesn’t know and whines about how he wants to forgive his father and blah, blah.
Samantha: It was at this point I wondered why they had to give Kara a whiney white boy who believes in the friendzone as a BFF.
Catherine: I’ve been wondering that for 10 episodes. Anya comes out onto the balcony/patio thing to tell Winn that she’s leaving an agent with him in case his father shows up. Winn tells her that he has to tell her something.
DEO. Alex and Hank are trying to figure out how to penetrate Maxwell Carlisle. I’ll tell you how I’d penetrate him! Haha…. wait…. no…. (M: Leftover Twilight love…?) (C: He was the best thing in that movie! Dr. Hot Dad, M.D.)
Alex tries to convince Hank to use his Martian powers to break into Lord Tech. Hank finally tells her that he can’t and he tried to be J’onn J’onzz on Earth but it was a bummer and people that he loved kept trying to kill him.
Alex tells him that times have changed and everyone loves Supergirl. Hank says that Supergirl looks like a cheerleader and Jonn looks like a monster.
I don’t like Supergirl being referred to as a cheerleader ever but the sentiment is pretty true. Humans are much more likely to accept aliens that look like them than ones that look like giant green monsters. This was like, the entire plot of that show ‘V’.
At least I think it was. I don’t remember a lot beyond the rat eating.
Mari: All I know is that it was remade with Morena Baccarin, meaning it was quickly cancelled.
Samantha: Why did you curse me with that gif? I’m still having nightmares of PuppyMonkeyBaby.
Catherine: I have to share the pain/wealth.
Anyway, out on the ubiquitous docks that all shows have, Anya and Kara are watching as Winn, who is fitted with a police wire, is down below walking toward his meet up with his father. Winn keeps pulling up the wire to talk directly into it until Anya tells him in an exasperated voice that he doesn’t have to do that.
That’s right, folks, Winn—AN I.T. SPECIALIST– does not know how a police wire works. It’s the most basic technology in existence but he doesn’t understand it. Have we ever even seen him successfully use technology in the first try? I mean? Who did he sleep with to get this job, exactly?
Mari: Sorry, I’m not actually blaming Winn this time. I blame the stupid writers. #objectivity
Catherine: I wanna blame both.
Winn goes into the building he’s supposed to meet his dad in and there’s a little Superman ride out front. It’s actually really cute and I like this detail.
Anyway, Anya tells Kara that the only reason she’s there is because Winn wouldn’t agree to do it without her and she needs to stay out of the way.
Back at CatCo, Lucy is researching the company online and tells us that 90% of CatCo companies are run by women. Jimmy says he knows that and it’s cool. Lucy asks him if she should take the job and Jimmy’s like, “…Sure?” Surprisingly, Lucy doesn’t see that as a ringing endorsement. She tells Jimmy that she wants to work for a strong powerful woman for once instead of a bunch of angry old white men.
Jimmy tells her that he wants her to be happy and that she should take the job and Lucy tells him that she wasn’t asking his permission. (M: I get that sentiment for sure but also… you asked him if you should take the job, girl.) (S: Exactly. You were having a conversation about taking the job, Lucy. Whut.)
Over at Maxwell Carlisle’s lemonade stand, Maxwell Carlisle gets a call from Alex and his caller id lists her as ‘Mata Hari’. He tries to flirt but Alex steamrolls over it and tells him that they need to talk somewhere away from his office. Maxwell Carlisle snarks that it sounds like she’s asking him on a date. He asks what her boss would think and she tells him that her boss is shortsighted and doesn’t get the job done and all that. He agrees to meet her and when Alex hangs up the phone we see her turn to Hank and tell him that she set it up so she’ll have Max out of Lord Tech until 10. Mata Hari, indeed.
Samantha: Alright, I had to google Mata Hari and apparently she was a courtesan and dancer who was convicted of being a spy and died via firing squad. Imma go get lost on her Wikipedia page, brb.
Catherine: Well at least we got one thing out of this.
Back at the docks, in an old arcade, because of course, Winn walks in and we see the same doll that was in Winslow’s cell hanging on a wall. It’s a very creepy little puppet doll. He picks it up and we see a stuffed wolf behind him whose eyes track as he moves away.
Samantha: I am a children’s associate librarian and I cannot stand human puppet dolls. It is mostly because of Buffy and Angel. I flinch when my co workers get them out.
Catherine: I know that he didn’t pick this but lol at him meeting his crazy toy-hijacking father in an arcade, surrounded by toys. It’s like meeting a terrorist in a bomb museum. It’s literally exactly like that.
The Toyman is waiting around the corner and standing creepily in the dark. He tells Winn that he’s sorry that he was gone so long and he broke out of prison for him.
We got a good look at the actor playing the Toyman earlier but this seems like a good place to point out that he’s being played by the actor that played Conrad Grayson on ‘Revenge’. I bring this up because ‘Revenge’ was one of my favorite shows and if you’ve never seen it you should watch it because it’s everything.
That’s it. That’s the show.
Anyway, Winn tells his father that he needs to go back to jail. Yep, good job, Winn. That outta do it. The Toyman calls Winn his ‘greatest work’ and I’m thinking he definitely doesn’t know this kid because Winn isn’t anyone’s greatest anything. Unless you mean greatest regret.
There’s an endless scene of ‘we’re the same, you and I’ and ‘you’re just like me’ and ‘I did it for you’ dialogue before Anya mobilizes her men. But she tells Kara she has to wait outside on the kiddie ride.
The FBI guys burst into the arcade and tell the Toyman to surrender. He doesn’t of course, and he asks Winn how he could betray him. Since he’s not putting up his hands, the FBI guys open fire and the image of the Toyman shatters and breaks into a million pieces. So I guess a hologram… made of glass?
His little puppet is all that’s left and it tells Winn to run. Before he can gas starts rushing out of the toy prizes lines up on the walls. Try not to put too much thought into it, the writers didn’t.
Winn and Anya and the FBI guys start choking but Supergirl shows up to suck in all the gas and release it harmlessly in the open air.
Don’t make a fart joke; this is a very serious show.
After a commercial break Anya is grilling Winn again about what his father said in their meeting. Winn, for what’s it’s worth, genuinely doesn’t seem to know anything about what his father has planned or why he said the things he did. Anya gives him a very suspicious look and walks off.
Winn asks Kara if she’s okay and she says she ‘doesn’t normally inhale’. (M: What the…?) (S: We were laughing so hard because this is such a terrible line and I don’t even know.)
Then he starts freaking out about how they’re gonna find his father and kill him. Kara says they won’t if the two of them can find him first. But Winn doesn’t want to ask Kara to go behind the FBI’s backs like that. Kara reminds him off all the stuff he’s done for her, um, when he wasn’t acting like a pissy little baby because she wasn’t falling all over his dick, I guess. Kara begs him to let her help and he eventually agrees. Just at that moment Cat texts her and she has to run off, Devil Wears Prada style.
Over at an empty restaurant, Alex greets Carlisle Maxwell all glammed up for their date. I guess National City officially has more than one restaurant now. Headcanon ruined! (M: I have no idea what you are talking about. I saw nothing.)
He asks her where she could be hiding her gun under her dress and she tells him that if he behaves he won’t have to find out.
CatCo. Cat demands to know why Kara didn’t tell her that Winn was the spawn of Toyman. Also, she calls him a ‘beloved little computer elf’. I always feel like any affection or attraction to Winn on Cat’s part is thrown in by the writers in a desperate attempt to make us sympathize with him or at least agree that he’s cute/sexy/beloved. It just doesn’t jive for me. I don’t believe that Cat does actually like Winn. I don’t believe anyone does.
Mari: I think he’s growing on me because of your beefed up hatred. THANKS A LOT, CATHERINE.
Catherine: No! You’re like my rebellious teenage daughter. My hatred for him is only pushing you into his arms!
Kara tells Cat that Winn didn’t want anyone to know his secret and Cat points out that he should consider changing his name. Cat starts talking about getting Winn to do a TV interview and Kara says that she doesn’t think Winn would be up for that. Cat is like, ugh, fine.
She then tells Kara to go get paperwork to start Lucy on at CatCo. Kara asks her if she doesn’t think she should’ve asked Jimmy if he was cool with having Lucy work there before she offered him the job.
Catherine: Me-ow!
Cat tells her that this is a place of business and it doesn’t matter what goes on in their little social lives ’cause she needs a damn lawyer.
Over at National Cities Other Restaurant, (M: Lies. Also, what time is it right now?) (S: You know, that time when it’s day but also night?) Carlisle Maxwell is trying to feed Alex but she’s like, ‘lol no thanks’ and feeds herself. He then tells her that she just ate snail eggs. Way to bury the lead.
Max mentions Supergirl again and Alex asks him why he’s so obsessed with her. It’s a good question. But the answer is because he’s the villain, so he can’t really be honest here. Alex asks him if he’s threatened because Supergirl is a woman. Carlisle Maxwell jokes that only a woman would say that. Yeah, because ya’ll are all fucking liars.
No. I’m kidding! Don’t send death threats. (S: OMG I love you, please keep being my best friend?) (C: Only ’cause you asked so nice.)
Max asks Alex what her relationship is with Supergirl and she tells him about the DEO’s relationship with her. Apparently sensing quid pro quo, Max tells her that the aliens who broke in a few weeks ago didn’t take anything. He checked. He went over his list of all the things in the building and everything was there. Alex asks why they broke in then and Max tells her he doesn’t know either.
Then they toast to not knowing anything and Alex checks her phone for the time.
Over at Lord Tech, Hank has shape shifted into Maxwell Carlisle and his assistant comes up to him and asks why he’s there if he’s supposed to be on his not!date with Alex. He tells her that he ended the evening early and that he was disappointed. His assistant confides that she felt like Alex was a little humorless for him. Of course, since she’s actually talking to Hank he answers with:
Hankwell tells her that he needs to question his life choices now and he needs to be alone. I’m thinking this is what I’m gonna start telling people whenever I need to be alone.
As Hankwell walks away his eyes glow red. He goes up to Room 52 and tries to use the fingerprint scanner for entry but it denies him.
“You can take the martian out of Mars,” he says as he phases through the door. He acts a bit winded for a moment after, which I guess is the writers way of showing us why he didn’t just do that in the first place.
Inside the room, Hankwell starts taking pictures with his phone. There’s a red hologram of an arm on a table and in the center of the room is young woman in a hospital bed. Her ID tag says that she’s Jane Doe and when she opens her eyes they are completely black. This is the girl we saw for, like a second at the end of last weeks episode. Or the week before or something. Who cares? (M: Unfortunately, probably not anyone recapping this show for Snark Squad…)
Hankwell wonders aloud what regular real Carlisle Maxwell is doing to the girl.
She can’t answer because she’s all gross and in a coma but her eyes are open. A security guard bursts into the room and draws a gun on Hankwell but realizes who it is and puts his gun down. He tells Hankwell that the silent alarm went off and then apologizes and goes to leave him alone.
Ew. What is Carlisle Maxwell doing standing over this girl alone regularly enough that his guards all know that’s what he wants to do? Wtf?
Hankwell tells him that he wants to get the girl to a doctor off site and to get an ambulance.
The security guy reminds him that the girl is code Phoenix and Hankwell is like, duh. The security guy, getting suspicious, asks him what code Phoenix is and Hankwell knocks him down because fuck if he knows.
He gets the guy on the ground and uses his powers to erase his memory. Oh, right, he can do that, too, btw. Martian Manhunter can kind of do anything. (M: Except have a name that isn’t Martian Manhunter.) He shifts back into Hank to do it and then tells the girl in the bed that he’ll be back for her before leaving.
CatCo. Kara and Winn are examining the little doll his dad gave him. Apparently there’s a chip inside with a little slingshot logo on it. Winn says that Slingshot Toys was the name of a company his dad created. It went bankrupt but the old factory is still there. (M: Convenient. I bet space is whatever in this well-populated city.) Winn knows that his dad is hiding out there.
This little scene was weird and seemed a bit unnecessary. IDK why they had to pull the doll apart and find that little chip. Also, how did he even make that chip in prison? How did he make the doll? I know there are workshops in prison but no one thought it was weird that a former terrorist who used to put bombs in dolls was making a doll and a highly intelligent computer chip? What kinda shitty prison is this? (S: THE KIND THAT LETS HIM PLAY WITH KNIVES.)
Supergirl flies over to the factory and calls out for Winslow. Instead of him coming out a little Supergirl doll on a unicycle with crashing cymbals wheels out. It’s just this side of creepy.
Supergirl calls out to Winslow again and tells him to think about his son. Winslow shows up on top of some giant blocks and tells her that Winn is all he thinks about. She lunges for him, (I guess the peaceful negotiations are over?) and he jumps out of the way onto another block. Before Supergirl can follow him he presses a button on a remote and the top of the block she’s standing on caves in. Inside is quicksand.
Listen, I couldn’t make this shit up okay? I’m not that talented. This is a real fight and these writers wanted us to feel real tension in it.
The Toyman isn’t a meta-human or a super human or anything. He’s just a dude who’s good at building things. This is why I hate this villain and always have, because no fight with him is gonna come off as serious and high-stakes. Supergirl sinking in a giant alphabet block full of quicksand is never gonna not be funny.
She starts to bargain with him and talk to him about Winn as she’s struggling to get free. To be honest, I don’t know enough about quick sand to say for sure, but I feel like Supergirl shouldn’t be having such a difficult time here? She can lift cars above her head. This is a couple feet of quicksand. I don’t even think if she did sink all the way she would drown as the box isn’t really deep enough.
I know I’m being wordy here but this is really stupid, you guys. Maybe the dumbest episode yet.
Mari: Okay, I made this comment a paragraph earlier before I saw you wrote this too. The quicksand makes 0 sense to me and kind of seems like it would be like me pulling on her leg while she tries to fly away…?
Samantha: Yep. There are a multitude of powers she could have used to immediately get out of here.
Catherine: Supergirl is distracted by the sound of a little girl calling for help in a box on the assembly line above her. The Toyman tells her that the more she struggles, the faster she’ll sink in the quicksand.
Where did he even get quicksand, also? Like… Amazon? (M: 2 day shipping wasn’t fast enough so he upgraded to next day.)
He tells her that he understands that even she needs oxygen and…no she doesn’t? Not really. She flies through space all the time. She doesn’t need to breathe for a while if she doesn’t want to.
Samantha: Thank god you said this I was like, “uh, Supes goes into space…? So….so can she?”
Catherine: She starts to blast the sand with her heat vision but The Toyman tells her that she shouldn’t do that because it’s laced with Thermite and if she heats it up it’ll ignite and the whole factory will blow up.
Literally every moment I don’t think this can get dumber and then it does. I can feel my life slipping away.
Winslow leaves and finally getting an idea, Supergirl uses her super breath to blow away the big shredder/crusher thing that the little girl’s crate was headed into and then she uses her freeze breath to freeze the quick sand so she can get out. Because lol physics. What is that?
She manages to catch the box before it hits the floor and opens it to find that there is no little girl inside and it’s just a talking Supergirl doll.
“I’m scared,” it says. Me too, doll. Me too.
Mari: So far the stupidest part of a Winn episode hasn’t even been Winn. We should all be terrified.
Catherine: It can only get worse from here.
DEO. Alex comes back from her date to find Hank looking at the pics he took of sleeping beauty. Or sleeping beast, since they think what’s in her IV is hydrochloric acid. Alex points out that that’s impossible because it would be literally melting her and Hank says that her vitals were stable but she showed minimal brain activity. Lol she must’ve been watching this show.
Alex asks Hank if he had to use his powers to get in and he says that he did but not just shape shifting. He tells her that he didn’t want to use his powers ’cause he knew someone would get hurt and he had to do something he swore he’d never do again.
Lord Tech, Maxwell Carlisle and his assistant are listening as a doctor tells them that the security guy can’t remember anything about his life. Not even his family.
Samantha: Shit, that is a dark power. That is a dick move. I know it was a bad situation but dick move.
Catherine: Definitely a dick move.
Max looks exasperated and says that he needs to see the security tapes but his assistant tells him that someone wiped them all clean. Unfazed, he tells her that he set up invisible backup cameras and sets the tape from them up to play on the screen in front of them.
On the screen they see Carlisle himself going into Room 52. He points out that that’s not possible because he was out with Alex at that time. His assistant tells him that she saw him right before that. They see Hank phase through the door on the tape and now Max knows to be on the lookout for him. Great. Great fucking job, everyone.
Kara’s super pad. Winn is in a tizzy because Kara was almost hurt. He wants to call Anya and tell her where to find his father. Kara reminds him that they will kill him and I’m confused because I thought they were gonna just take him to jail? Is this an FBI team or a hit squad? (M: It’s America so you never know?)
Kara promises that she will find him and get him back to prison. Apparently without informing the FBI?
Winn gets mad and says there’s no point in saving his father because there’s something rotten inside of him. Then he gets all teary and we find out that what Winn’s really worried about is that he’s crazy like his father, too. That he’ll crack one day, too. If this is supposed to be big reveal, it’s stupid. Of course he’s worried about that. Does it really even need to be mentioned?
Mari: Like 80% of all the things ever said on this show: Probably not.
Catherine: Kara comforts him by reminding him that she also has experienced loss that time when everyone and everything she ever knew exploded into a million little pieces in space. In comforting him, she takes his hand and he sees this as a perfect excuse to physically assault her.
Oh, I mean, he kisses her. My bad. I forgot it was supposed to be romantic since it was unsolicited and she pulls away and gets really uncomfortable. Winn starts apologizing and Kara tells him it’s okay. He leaves, because obviously he’s the one who should be upset by this. Let’s all think about Winn’s emotions you guys. It’s really hard for him.
Mari: Okay, OKAY, it’s awkward that he came on to her, but I think had he STAYED we would’ve been like, “gosh Winn. Take a hint a leave.”
…right?
Samantha: You can’t win with Winn.
Catherine: As he’s leaving his dad pops up and chloroforms him.
Winn wakes up in an elsewhere and his dad tells him not be scared. He says that they are gonna make his old boss (the one who stole his toy designs) pay. Not with money but with, like, death.
Toyman crazies a bit about it being his old bosses fault that he went to prison and stole his and Winn’s life away. Winn asks if he’s gonna kill him and Toyman is like, nope you are, obvi.
CatCo. Anya and her guys are going through Winn’s desk when Kara asks them what they’re doing. Anya tells her that they suspect that Winn is working with his father because they can’t find him right now. Anya asks one of her guys to confirm the tactical sweep of the convention hall. Kara asks her why they’re doing that.
Cut to the convention hall where there’s a Toy Con going on. Of course.
It cuts between scenes of Toyman instructing Winn on what to do and Winn doing it.
Basically Toyman gives him a plastic squirt gun that he can take through the metal detector at the Con’s entrance. Winn’s supposed to use the gun to shoot Toyman’s old boss, Chester Dunholtz. Winn refuses but apparently Toyman has planted 10 bombs at the convention and he’s gonna set them off if Winn doesn’t kill this guy.
Toyman tells him that whether they escape or end up in prison or even die at least they’ll be together. Prison with Winn sounds like the worst fucking case scenario ever.
He also tells Winn that even with all the toys he’s made, Winn is still the best thing he ever made.
Ew. Whatever.
At the convention, Chester Dunholtz is giving a speech and Winn is in the audience. He realizes that there are kids there and shit so he better get on this shooting thing.
He gets up on the stage and tells Chester he’s sorry but before he can shoot him the FBI storms in. And then before they can shoot him Supergirl storms in and jumps in front of the bullets.
Supergirl yells at everyone to come toward her while the FBI apparently does nothing. Then she heat visions the sprinklers and freeze breaths the water that comes out of them so that there’s an ice shield between the crowd and the bombs. It sounds ridiculous and it is but I actually like that solution. It’s creative. (M: Same! It was quick thinking and at least not quicksand.) (C: Anything is better than quicksand.)
The bombs go off and the ice wall shatters but no one gets hurt.
Supergirl flies off to find Toyman and catches him before he can escape.
Back at CatCo that night, Jimmy is out on the balcony of deep thoughts when Lucy comes out and tells him that she got an office upstairs. He apologizes for being mad and says that he does want her to work there but he was jealous or something, IDK. I’m nearly done with this episode and my brain is shutting down to deal with the trauma.
She tells him that he stopped being a photographer too soon and he agrees. But like, I thought that’s what he did at CatCo? Is he not the photographer? Is a photo editor a different thing? Shut up. I don’t care. Whatever.
Samantha: Aside from Kara and Cat I’m not sure I know anybody’s “job.”
Catherine: I’m not sure they do either.
Jimmy and Lucy kiss and make up and Kara sees it from the window and gets sad.
She goes over to Winn’s desk where he’s playing a video game and asks him if he wants Thai food. He blows her off. Oh God. I swear to God if he’s mad at her because he kissed her and she didn’t like it I’m gonna fly into the sun with rage.
He apologizes again for kissing her but does it in a creepy intense way so the juries still out. Then he tells her that his dad kept his feelings bottled up for years and he was a coward like Winn. He says he’s sorry for ‘dropping this huge bomb on our friendship’ and I roll my eyes at not only the shitty wordplay but the fact that he was blithely use that imagery when a ton of real people almost got blown up earlier that day.
Calling out to Jesus to help me through this episode.
Winn tells Kara that he’s in love with her because, lets remember, everything is about his emotions and how he man feels. Kara’s like, ‘Yeah but I just wanna be friends’. And Winn’s like ‘WTF I don’t wanna be FRIENDS with you, stupid. Vagina or NOTHING’ because he’s a piece of shit.
He tells her that he can’t keep bottling up his emotions because he might turn into a psycho like his father. Yeah, that’ll convince a girl to date you. Dumbass.
Kara asks what this means for them and he says he doesn’t know and then turns back to his computer.
Okay so….are they not friends now? COOL! Yay! You are not losing anything important, Kara. 180 pounds of dead weight. High five for freedom!
Samantha: Yeah. *eyeroll, shrug*
Catherine: As if she can hear me, in the next scene Supergirl is sadly flying over National City and then goes back to her apartment. Alex is there with pizza.
Kara tells her about Winn and says that she might have ruined their friendship.
Okay. No. You didn’t ruin shit. You are a completely innocent party in this. HE kissed you without your consent. You don’t owe him romantic feelings. That’s not how this works. He fucked up your friendship by pushing for something that you don’t want. It’s his fault and he’s the one who should feel bad.
I thought this was a feminist show?
Samantha: I know. At the very least, Kara did absolutely nothing wrong. No, Kara.
Catherine: Alex asks her if Winn kissed her and Kara is surprised that Alex knew that Winn had a crush on her.
Come on, Kara, everyone fucking knew. He’s not subtle.
Alex tells her that she got Hank to use his powers but he did something bad and she doesn’t know what. They also both take one bite of pizza and then put their slices down which is very WTF to me.
Mari: Girl, my only other thought between “I’m sorry I kissed you” and the end of the episode was, “who takes just one bite of pizza and then puts it down?”
Catherine: No one. No one does that.
The quicksand scene was more believable than this. Kara asks if they got any intel on Max. Alex tells her that she had to go on a date with him but that she did get intel. Kara is ticked that Alex didn’t tell her so she could be backup. Alex tells her that Max isn’t gonna do anything that she won’t see coming from a mile away. The camera pans to Alex’s purse which, surprise surprise, has a hidden camera attached to it.
Well, hidden is the wrong word. It’s got a blinky red light and everything. There’s no fucking way she wouldn’t have noticed her purse blinking.
Of course the purse is pointed right at the sisters and Carlisle Maxwell is across town watching them on a screen. Now he knows that Alex is Supergirl’s sister.
Mari: I lied. I had one final thought: dumbasses.
Samantha: Powerpuffs, I want pizza.
Catherine: I agree. Let’s all go get exactly 2 bites of pizza.
Next time on Supergirl: Another martian is in town in S01 E11 – Strange Visitor From Another Planet.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
