Democracy Diva: There is only one way to describe how I feel sitting down to rewatch and recap this episode.
Marines: A+. 1430.
Diva: Let’s do this before I lose my nerve and melt into a puddle of feels.
After some uneventful previouslies/credits, Sansa is sewing and someone delivers her a letter. It has the mockingbird seal on it, so you know it’s from Katniss Littlefinger. She reads the letter and asks how far they are from Mole’s Town, the village near Castle Black renowned for its whorehouses. At least before there were wildlings and dead things running around all willy nilly. I think maybe one time Gilly was there, and Ygritte almost killed her but then didn’t? Simpler times. (M: RIP Ygritte and simpler times.)
Mole’s Town. Littlefinger is waiting for Sansa in a dilapidated brothel, which is pretty on-brand for him. She enters, followed closely by Brienne. It’s going to make me happy every single time I see Brienne by Sansa’s side. Littlefinger tells Sansa what a relief it is to see her unharmed. And before you start throwing things at your screen, just let Queen Sansa say it all for you.
“Unharmed?” she exhales, like it’s a shadow of a laugh. She coldly asks what he’s doing there. Littlefinger explains that he’s rallied the troops of the Vale to fight for her. They’re waiting at Moat Cailin. Sansa asks if he knew what Ramsay was. “If you didn’t know, you’re an idiot, and if you did, you’re my enemy,” she spits at him. And we all know Littlefinger is no idiot. She moves closer to him and describes her wedding night – how Ramsay needed the face of Ned Stark’s daughter, but did what he wanted with the rest of her. “What do you think he did?” Sansa asks him directly, and I applaud the direction choice of the camera lingering on Littlefinger’s pained, twisted face, being confronted head-on with Sansa’s trauma. I don’t have a lot to add to the billions of words that have been written about sexual violence on this show. I’ll just say I’m blown away by how earned this scene felt. That Sansa’s rape was not just a tool for a man’s redemption story, that we’re not just going to ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen, that you’re damn fucking right she’s going to talk about it no matter how uncomfortable that makes Littlefinger or anybody else.
Catherine: This is an amazing scene for Sansa and so powerful to watch. She continues to rise from her own ashes like a Phoenix. Or like a young Jean Grey or whatever.
Diva: He tries to avoid the question, and she asks it again. He stays silent until Brienne threatens him. Littlefinger responds like a little boy caught in a lie. “Did he cut you?” he asks, and Sansa’s tone changes as she realizes he did have some idea about Ramsay’s extracurricular activities. He says he made a mistake, underestimating a stranger.
Mari: Alright, y’all. I have FEELINGS.
1- On the fact that Littlefinger says that Sansa looks UNHARMED: for many rape victims, they leave the experience marked and harmed in ways that aren’t immediately visible to the people who would stand there and presume to judge. “She looks fine.” “She seems fine.” “She isn’t acting like a victim would.” Etc. In that shadow of a laugh in which Sansa repeats back “unharmed,” I just heard so much disbelief that he would presume. Every bit of memory of harm poured into a laugh. When a woman (or a person) is raped, it is HARM. Always.
2- We didn’t see the rape either (which I’m really thankful for, honestly). If you’ll recall they made the rather unfortunate choice of pulling away and focusing on Theon’s reaction. I still think that they did this in order not to show us the rape, without thinking of the consequences of framing that particular scene in that way, by focusing on the reaction of a man. I think this is a really interesting mirror to that. Diva pointed out that the camera lingers on Littlefinger’s reaction as Sansa forces him to consider her abuse. This is exactly what happened the first time she was raped, except this time Sansa is control. She is the one doing the confronting, the focusing and the framing.
3- That tender line. It ripped my heart out because one of the tools often used against women specifically is the claim that they are emotional, erratic, or sensitive. In fact, how often have you heard the line that rape victims are probably just women who REGRETTED sex. They let feelings convince them to report a fake rape because of regret. God Bless Sansa Stark for forcing Littlefinger to face not how she feels about what happened to her, but the actual physical action. Rape is a crime committed against the body and when people dismiss women based on emotions, they are assholes, but also they are overlooking the harm brought against the body.
Diva: This probably goes without saying, but I cosign all of the above.
Littlefinger asks if he should beg for his life – he’ll die at her command. Disgusted, she reminds him that he “rescued” her from Lannister monsters only to deliver her to Bolton monsters. She doesn’t want him or his army at Moat Cailin – she and Jon will take back the north on their own and Littlefinger should GTFO. Littlefinger asks to say one more thing before he goes: her great-uncle Brynden the Blackfish has retaken Riverrun, the seat of House Tully. She might want his help if she needs an army loyal to her. Sansa says she has an army, but Littlefinger reminds her it’s her brother’s army. After a long pause, he adds, “half-brother,” and departs.
Catherine: WTF is that supposed to mean? Dick.
Mari: Way to at least sow a little seed of discord on the way out. I saw some people saying that this reminder from Littlefinger is true, but I’m not convinced. The Tully army would just be her uncle’s army. To trust him is equal to (or lesser than) trusting Jon.
Diva: Excellent point. Sure, she only shares one parent in common with Jon, but they grew up together. Surely that counts for more than a great-uncle Sansa has probably met once in her life.
Arya and the Waif training montage. Man, are these getting exhausting. I know in order for her to become the world’s most badass killer, Arya has to lose some fights, but shit, I’m tired of seeing her get beat up. Even if she does this kinda cool jump from lying on her back to supreme assassin fight stance. But it goes on so long that I can’t help but feeling, dude, we only get ten episodes per season, could you just fucking move this along a little bit? (M: Cosign.) While I’m waiting for that to happen, my fiancee chimed in to ask about “Faceless Sisterwife,” which I think is yet another better name for Nameless Cunt than “The Waif.” Faceless Sisterwife tells Arya she’ll never be no one enough, or something, and Jaqen shows up to just sort of linger and be creepy and agree. We’ve seen this scene five times before, no? (M: Yes.)
Jaqen and Arya do a walk-and-talk about the history of the Faceless Men. The first ones were slaves of Valyria, and the Many-Faced God taught the first Faceless Man how to transform his face and give the gift of death. Eventually, the Faceless Men killed all the masters and fled. They founded the free city of Braavos and built the House of Black and White, and they left their face skins on the walls for funzies I guess. Jaqen tells Arya that she’s one of them now, if she desires. But she knows better. “A girl has no desires,” our little smarty-pants tells him. He hands her a bottle and she asks who she’s supposed to give the gift to. An actress named Lady Crane. This is Arya’s second chance, Jaqen warns her, and she won’t get a third.
Globe Theatre, Braavos Style. A theater troupe is performing a farce about… well… this show. Or at least the first two seasons. We begin with King Robert getting gored by a boar, and smacking Joffrey hard across the face, which makes Arya laugh. Then Cersei takes the stage and gives an epic monologue and it’s all fun and games until Ned Stark is introduced as a sort of idiot country bumpkin. The crowd finds him hilarious, and Arya looks around at them strangely. King Robert gives a few hilarious farts during his deaths, and afterwards, Cersei begs Ned to follow the laws of succession while he just plays dumb. You know, kind of like the opposite of how things actually went down? This theater troupe has not gotten the memo about Joffrey and his siblings being definitely not even a little bit related to Robert Baratheon. Anyway, they show Ned demanding the throne for himself, and Tyrion turning on him and sending him off to be arrested.
Finally, an absurdly whiny girl with long red hair takes the stage and begs Joffrey for her father’s life. My stomach is in my throat, watching Arya watch this played as a comedy. Even worse, the show pretends Joffrey was planning on sparing Ned’s life, until the executioner goes rogue and decapitates Ned, and then Joff comforts Sansa. Tyrion appears with a decree from his father, naming Tyrion the hand, and declares Sansa as his wife, putting her hand on his dick and tearing open her dress to reveal her tits before the crowd.
I loved watching Arya realize that her perspective on this story was unique, and how different it was from the story being told in the play. And of course, watching her in a mob of ordinary people, watching her father’s death play out, just the way she watched it in life – another brilliant choice in this episode.
Catherine: I actually can’t remember if Arya even knew about Sansa marrying Tyrion? I took this as her finding out right then and thinking the worst. This was like a real life previously on for Arya.
Mari: Also, I thought it was interesting to see how the common folk are just as happy to make fun of the Lannisters as they are the Starks. We obviously have our favorites, and there is this whole big, well, Game of Thrones going on, but to the common people? Isn’t it kind of all the same? We see some of that push and pull of the leaders and the led over in Meereen and of course in King’s Landing, where the Faith Militant are probably spurring an uprising.
Diva: I can’t remember whether the show has shown Arya learning about Sansa’s wedding. I don’t believe it has, though, and what a fucking way to find out. And yes, I think this scene really hits the point that to common folk, all the high lords and ladies are the same. But it also says a lot about how and why certain news travels the way it does – what twisted version of the events we witnessed made it to Braavos? In this play, Cersei is a hero, Joffrey is a sweetheart, and Ned is an evil idiot. Is that just the narrative the Braavosi theater writers created, or do they believe this version of the events?
Scrotum. Seriously, we cut to a close-up cock-and-balls. Joffrey’s, to be exact. Or the actor playing him, complaining about his genital warts, which is some of the greatest fan service this show has ever done. (M: You can almost hear the writers going, “you asked for full frontal male nudity ha ha hahahaha.”) All the actors are undressing and chatting while Arya acts as a laundry girl but actually assasin-spying. The man who plays King Robert – oh my god, it took me until second watch, but it’s Richard E. Grant, of LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND ALSO SPICEWORLD fame. And the moment I asked myself why he’s playing such a small part, he tells the actress playing Sansa, “there are no small parts.” I think this would have pissed me off as too fourth-wall-breaking if I had noticed it on first watch, but since I didn’t, I find this brilliant and perfect and magical and meta-hilarious.
Mari: This whole episode has been strangely meta.
Diva: Any-tangent, Richard E. Grant tells not!Sansa she sucks at acting, and not!Tyrion makes a sex joke about her, and Lady Crane (who played Cersei) laughs. She flirts with the not!Tyrion actor, and they toast to their children, hoping they’ll have her talent and his filthy mind. They actually seem happy, in their own way. Lady Crane has a sort of young Geena Davis vibe that I’m digging.
House of Black and White. Arya tells Jaqen she’ll poison the rum, which only Lady Crane drinks. She asks for a face from the Hall of Faces, but Jaqen shuts that shit down right away. “She’s a good actress,” Arya tells him, and a decent woman too. Jaqen is fresh out of fucks to give. Arya asks who wants Lady Crane dead, but that doesn’t matter. Arya guesses it’s the younger actress – not!Sansa – acting out of jealousy. Jaqen tells her good servants don’t ask questions. Ugh, whatever, Jaqen.
Mari: He’s like the worst co-worker to gossip with. You give really bad water cooler, Jaqen.
Diva: I do love that Arya has no idea who wants to kill the Cersei character, but assumes it’s the Sansa character. Sure, maybe it’s because of stuff Arya witnessed backstage, but maybe Arya also LOVES the idea of Sansa getting to be the one to kill Cersei.
Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven come upon some green hilly area with a lot of trees with faces. They see a group of Children of the Forest. One of the Children – Leaf? – holds an obsidian dagger and approaches a man, tied to a tree. Now I’m slightly confused, because the man looks like Tywin Lannister and also a human version of the Night’s King who also kind of looks like a younger Three-Eyed Raven. Bran watches as Leaf plunges the dagger through the man’s heart. He screams, and we hear the sounds of ice crackling as his eyes turn White Walker blue.
Anyway, Leaf is all, yeah. Men showed up and cut down our sacred trees and we had to defend ourselves. From you motherfucking humans.
Iron Islands. Aeron (have they actually told us his name? whatever, it’s Aeron, he’s a priest of the Drowned God and also Balon and Murderface!Euron’s brother) (M: BROTHER?) (D: maybe only in the books? seriously, has the show told us anything about this dude at all?) – anyway, Aeron welcomes everyone to the 2016 Kingsmoot. Yara steps up and stakes her claim. She recaps: the mainlands don’t give a fuck about us, they conquer us and humiliate us, and then ignore us. We’re sea people, and we’re going to build a fleet – but a man interrupts to mansplain that a woman can’t lead them. Not when Balon’s heir has returned. Theon steps forward and looks more like Theon than we’ve seen him in years. He looks around for an insanely long time, and says he is Theon Greyjoy, and finally unfurls a giant banner that says #ImWithHer.
Now, I had read before that some people thought this guy looked like Pacey, but all his scenes were too dark for me to be sure. But in daylight, I can confirm that this is one Pacey-looking motherfucker. (C: OMG! YES!) Unfortunately, he’s too much of an asshole to be nearly as attractive. Euron makes fun of Theon for getting his dick cut off and supporting a woman to lead them. Yara says she’s glad Euron is back, because now her first act as queen can be executing him for murdering her father. The Ironborn are all, um, wtf. Euron admits it immediately, without a care in the world. “He led us into two wars we couldn’t win,” Euron says of his brother, in what is maybe the eight billionth similarity to American politics we’ve seen on this show.
Theon reminds Euron he’s been galavanting all around the world while Yara was on the Iron Islands, being a badass. Yara says she’ll built the biggest fleet in the goddamn world. Euron says no, I’M going to build it, and there’s someone across the sea who hates the great lords of Westeros as much as the Ironborn do. She’s got an army, and three dragons, and she’s SINGLE, AMIRITE GENTS? Euron wraps up his summary of Dany’s Tinder profile and says I’m going to give Dany the iron fleet, and also my penis, and then we’ll take the Iron Throne together. Everyone is like, YES, LET’S GET YOUR DICK WET! And starts cheering for Euron.
Catherine: Pfft. Like Dany would even be interested. She has two other bfs right now. She’s not even looking.
Mari: Dany would never fall for Discount Pacey.
Diva: A+ nickname is A+.
Now, we get the show’s weird take on Ironborn baptism rituals. Aeron holds Discount Pacey underwater and says a blessing. The blessing voiceover continues as we see Yara, Theon, and a bunch of other Ironborn running towards some ships. Our fave Greyjoys have hundreds of men aboard with them as we cut back to Discount Pacey getting legit drowned by Aeron. The Ironmen carry his body back to shore, and just kinda dump him on the ground and wait.
[Book sidenote: They actually revive people with mouth-to-mouth in the books. They do this ritual a lot, not just for kings, and they’re not fucking idiots who just HOPE everyone survives. They definitely lose a few folks now and then, but they at least attempt to resuscitate everyone. Show, YOU’RE DOING THIS DUMB.]
Of course, Discount Pacey magically wakes up and spits out a ton of water. Aeron rests a driftwood crown on his head and they do the “what is dead may never die” thing.
Diva: It’s hard out here for a Discount Pacey. He asks where Theon and Yara are, and when no one responds, he says, “Let’s go murder them.” Writers, I think you can do a little better than that. Anyway, Discount Pacey’s plan is ruined when they realize that Theon and Yara stole all the best ships and peaced the fuck out. DP orders them all to collect enough wood for a thousand ships. Build him the ships, and he’ll deliver them the world.
Somewhere around Vaes Dorthrak. I don’t know where Dany’s tens of thousands of followers are, because she and Jorah and Daario are chilling all alone in the silence. She recaps her relationship with Jorah: she’s banished him twice and he keeps saving her life. Jorah reveals his greyscale and Dany’s eyes immediately fill with tears. Maybe it’s because I know how much more emotional shit is coming in this episode, but this isn’t really giving me as many feels as it probably should.
Jorah tells Dany that Tyrion was right – he loves her, and he always will. Again, the writing is more than a little heavy-handed here. Jorah starts to leave, but Dany orders him not to walk away from his queen. She reminds him that he swore to obey her, and she orders him to find a cure. He gives her a look, like, I’m not fucking Joe Biden, you can’t give me a greyscale moonshot, but Dany insists she needs Jorah with her when she takes Westeros. Jorah starts to ride off to find the cure to greyscale somewhere, and we see Dany and Daario at the head of her khalasar, leaving Vaes Dothrak.
Meereen’s Situation Room. Tyrion pours wine as Varys asks Missandei and Grey Worm how many murders there have been since their pact with the Masters. Grey Worm delivers the news: no killings by the Sons of the Harpy, and a (very) fragile peace has settled. Varys thinks this is a good start, but Tyrion is skeptical. He thinks the people need to know that Dany is responsible for it. Not just the freedom, but the peace and security. They need someone who can’t be bought to tell them that Dany’s the reason things are better, and Tyrion has a certain lady in mind.
The subtitles introduce us to a red priestess named Kinvara. She might be like, president of the red priestesses? I’m not sure. But she’s dressed like Melisandre, necklace and all. Tyrion asks for her help, but Kinvara says she doesn’t need persuasion. Daenerys is the one who was promised, she tells them – the fulfillment of the prophecy, who freed the slaves and crucified the masters. And her dragons are a gift from the Lord of the Light, who will “purify nonbelievers by the thousands, burning their sins and flesh away.” Tyrion says, welp, maybe not so much with the purifying, because she has followers of lots of different beliefs. Kinvara says, don’t you want her, and you by extension, to be worshiped and obeyed? She tells them that she’ll spread the word – Daenerys is their savior, who will fight for them in this war and the great one to come. Lots of Melisandre-shit we’ve heard before. (M: But definitely not about Dany. What’s the game, little old ladies?) And also has the rumblings of a Faith Militant-esque religious fundamentalist uprising, so, that’s always fun.
Varys agrees, and tells Kinvara that there’s another red priestess out there who thought Stannis Baratheon was the fulfillment of that prophecy. And, you know, Stannis was defeated at the Blackwater by Tyrion, and at Winterfell more recently. Varys scoffs at the red priestesses who think everything is the lord’s work. He doesn’t trust Kinvara to know any more than Melisandre. Tyrion tries to smooth things over and say they’re all loyal supporters of the queen, but Kinvara approaches and says everything happens for a reason, including terrible things. She tells Varys to remember his castration at the hand of a “second-rate sorcerer.” Kinvara starts to describe the memory of Varys’s mutilation, and as I pause the show to type, I realize that they framed this exactly as they framed the interaction between Sansa and Littlefinger earlier in the episode. We have the same close-up wide shot of Varys’s disgusted, horrified face – a face we rarely see anything but calm, cool, and collected – just like Littlefinger’s. Varys looks terrified as Kinvara asks if he remembers the voice calling out from the flames, if he wants to know the name of the voice that spoke to him during his mutilation. Kinvara comes closer and tells Varys that if he is truly Dany’s friend, he has nothing to fear from Kinvara. Varys’s brow is so wrinkled he may actually have frozen.
Mari: I really have no idea what to even say about this or what to expect from it.
Diva: Forbidden Forest. Bran looks around, kinda bored, and decides to toss some pebbles at the Three-Eyed Raven to try and wake him up for a little stroll down memory lane. Raven isn’t having it, so Bran makes his way over to the tree and his eyes go white. Suddenly, we see him alone, back at the same spot he watched the Children of the Forest, but now it’s winter and everything is covered in snow. He turns around, and sees hundreds of thousands of wights. Bran decides to walk towards them, for reasons I cannot possibly comprehend. As he gets closer, he looks at each one, rotting skulls and missing limbs and all. Finally, four White Walkers appear on horseback before him, and it’s clear the Night’s King sees Bran. Suddenly, all the corpses can see Bran, and the Night’s King grabs his arm.
Back in the cave, Bran screams that the Night King saw him. Three-Eyed Raven knows that he touched Bran, and this means he can find Bran and get into the magical protection of the cave because of reasons I don’t understand. (M: MAGIC.) (C: Starks are just so, so bad at comprehending obvious danger.) Bran apologizes, but Raven says it’s time for Bran to become him. Not that Bran is at all fucking ready, but it’s time anyway. Bran’s eyes go white.
Castle Black Situation Room. Just the sight of Jon, Edd, Sansa, Brienne, and Davos around a table together brings me endless joy. They’re talking tactics about how to take back Winterfell, and when Tormund joins them, Brienne gives him some side-eye that I’m appreciating. The Umbers and the Karstarks have already declared for the Boltons, so they can’t be won over. Sansa makes it clear that she gives no fucks about no Umbers.
Mari: Honestly, he looks mostly tired. Like he went from zombie to war in no time at all. Under that, I think there is surprise. One part because she is being so bold and another because just last episode she was like, “you are Ned Stark’s son!” Suddenly we’ve reached, “I’ve got the Stark name.” I don’t think that could go unnoticed.
Diva: He’s definitely earned the right to look tired.
Edd notices Jon’s reaction too. Sansa quickly adds that Jon is as much Ned Stark’s son as Ramsay is Roose’s – true, though a weird comparison – and the Tullys will back them too. She drops the news about the Blackfish retaking Riverrun, but pretends she heard it because Ramsay got a raven about it before she escaped Riverrun. Interesting that she keeps the Littlefinger meeting secret from her trusted confidantes. Davos is energized by this news – the Tullys’ help could make all the difference.
Sansa and Brienne have their own walk-and-talk, where Brienne airs her suspicions about their plan. Sansa wants Brienne to go talk to her uncle the Blackfish, but Brienne is afraid to leave her her alone. She trusts Jon, calling him “trustworthy, but a bit broody, perhaps” – but not the others. She still blames Davos for Melisandre’s blood magic. And Brienne’s voice gets much higher when she complains about “that wildling fellow with the beard,” which I simply adore. Sansa doesn’t care about any of that – Jon is her brother and she trusts him. Brienne asks what we all want to know – if that’s true, why did she lie about Littlefinger? Instead of responding, Sansa goes to show off some fabulous new clothes to Jon.
Diva: And we cut straight from that moment of #feels to what is undoubtedly the most hilarious moment in this show’s history:
Okay, tumblr may have added the hearts, but good GOD did this moment make me laugh.
Catherine: I definitely remember those hearts being in the actual episode.
Mari: Definitely.
Diva: Jon tells Edd not to knock the Wall down while he’s gone. They hug goodbye, Edd wishes him good luck, and Jon and Sansa ride off with the rest of their crew.
And now, a tribute to everything I love about Dolorous Edd:
Forbidden Forest. Meera tells Hodor how happy she is that they can go home – or at least somewhere not cave-like. She makes him giggle about eating eggs and bacon again, and it’s sweet and happy. Until they’re suddenly able to see their breath, and Meera realizes something is not right. Bran and the Raven are still in a warg-sleep as Meera runs outside, where a massive army of the dead lead by Night’s King is amassed. Night’s King touches the ground, and a giant fault cracks through the ice and breaks through the entrance to the cave. Leaf orders Meera to get Bran and run as the scary music kicks up and the wights start moving. Inside the cave, Meera frantically tries to wake Bran up as Hodor “Hodors” in a terrified way.
Cut to Bran and Three-Eyed Raven, still in warg class at Winterfell, where everything is quiet and peaceful and there aren’t a hundred thousand wights breaking down their door. Bran watches a boy who looks a little bit like him hug a smaller boy, who looks a lot like Rickon – but it’s actually his father Ned and Ned’s little brother Benjen. But they look enough like our Stark boys to give me feels.
Cut to the cave, where Meera begs Hodor for help. Outside, the White Walkers are marching forward as the Children of the Forest throw these epic exploding fireballs at them in a truly stunning sequence.
The wights are scared off by the giant ring of fire the Children create, but the four White Walkers give no fucks. They walk through the fire and enter the cave as the rest of the wights swarm off around the other side.
Mari: It really freaks me out that in a battle of actual ice and fire, the ice portion of this is like “LOL. FIRE. Whatevs.”
Diva: Bran is still warging in Winterfell, watching his father Ned prepare to leave for the Vale. (Remember, as a kid, Ned was fostered at the Eyrie with before-he-was-King Robert Baratheon, under the watchful eye of Jon Arryn, AKA breastfeeding Robin Arryn’s father whose death set this entire show into motion.) Ned’s father Rickard Stark tells him to be good, but if he has to fight, win. Rickard Stark looks enough like Sean Bean that I don’t even know how the fuck they cast these flashbacks so perfectly. (M: 2 seconds with Rickard Stark and I love him too.) I think the brothers and cousins of everyone already playing a Stark must have been called up to bat, or else all white dudes look the same to me.
Cave apocalypse. Meera is fighting off wights and still trying to wake up Bran. Leaf saves her by ripping a wight’s head off, and shooting some more with arrows. Hodor continues to sit and shake and repeat his name, and Meera realizes a wight’s about to murder Leaf and shrieks, “Bran, we’re all going to die!”
Warg Winterfell. Bran hears a sort of echo of Meera’s voice, telling him to wake up, telling him to help her. He looks confused, pained. Back in the cave, Meera shakes Bran, begging him to wake up and warg into Hodor to fight off the wights. Warg Winterfell Bran hears Meera begging him, “warg into Hodor now!” and the Three-Eyed Raven tells Bran to listen to his friend. Bran looks at Wyllis – young, fully-functioning Hodor – and hears Meera’s voice saying “Hodor!”
Back in the cave, Hodor’s eyes go warg white. He stands up and is ready to fuck shit up. Finally one of the White Walkers steps up and murders a Child of the Forest, or maybe is trying to murder Leaf – it’s hard to tell when the Children all have the same makeup and my TV is super dark – until Meera grabs a spear, throws it into his neck, and the White Walker shatters into a million pieces. (For those keeping track, that makes 3 characters who have killed White Walkers: Sam with dragonglass, Jon with Valyrian steel, and Meera with whatever that spear was.)
Meera and Hodor, carrying a still-warged-out Bran, are starting to leave when Summer appears, growling furiously at the wights. We hear Summer screaming as the wights tear into him, and his screams get further and further away as Meera, Bran, and Hodor leave him behind. A weird sound escapes my throat as I realize Summer is staying behind to die, sacrificing himself to buy Bran, Meera, and Hodor more time.
Catherine: I hate this show, I hate this show, I hate this show. Everything’s the worst.
Mari: I regret every other time I’ve told you guys that something I saw killed me because THIS KILLED ME. It was such a quick progression from, “oh! SUMMER!” to “ohgodnopleasenotsummer.”
Diva: I didn’t even know what was happening until it had already happened. Summer was there, and then… he wasn’t. By the time I was cheering for his arrival, he was gone. My GOD, this one hurt me in the soul.
The Three-Eyed Raven’s eyes are still warged out when Night’s King approaches him in his tree, holding an axe. “The time has come. Leave me.” the Three-Eyed Raven says – maybe in both timelines, in the cave and at Warg Winterfell, because it seems like both Night’s King and Warg Winterfell Bran hear him. Night’s King raises his sword, swings it, and we cut to Warg Winterfell, where Three-Eyed Raven disappears into black smoke and ash and it’s COOL AF. But also, very sad, because he too has sacrificed himself for Bran & Co.
Meera tells Leaf to follow them, but Leaf stays behind and holds a mysterious ball in her hand. It turns ice blue, like the White Walker’s eyes, and as she gets surrounded by wights tearing her to pieces, they all explode into a giant fire. The third to fall victim to the wights while protecting Team Bran. But the wights keep coming after our crew, as they finally pry open the back door to the cave and shut the wights back inside.
Hodor holds the door shut, against thousands of wights still trying to fight their way out, his feet slipping on the snow, and Meera screams, “Hold the door! Hold the door!” Warg Winterfell Bran hears the voice and turns around and looks at Wyllis, who suddenly looks very strange. Wyllis’s eyes go white and he falls down, seizing uncontrollably. We cut between Hodor holding the door the wights are trying to break through, and Wyllis seizing terribly. Old Nan runs over to him, and in unison, Wyllis and Meera in their two different timelines are screaming, “Hold the door! Hold the door!” Wyllis is screaming and shaking, repeating “Ho’ de door” in an increasingly strangled voice as Bran watches him in horror. At the cave, the wights finally break through the door, reaching for Hodor, as Meera and Bran keep on going, disappearing into the snow and leaving Hodor and the cave behind. We cut back and forth between Hodor’s body being ripped apart by wights as he holds the door in the present timeline, and Wyllis in the past timeline screaming and seizing, “ho de door, ho de dor, ho dor, hodor, hodor.”
Well. I didn’t speak for fourteen minutes after this episode ended. (For someone who lives with someone, and likes to dissect every GoT episode immediately after viewing it with them, this is an EXTRAORDINARILY long time.) I couldn’t do anything but feel. I don’t know that I’ve ever watched anything that twisted my emotional core like this. The last ten minutes of this episode just build and build and build into chaos, glossing over truly significant deaths – Summer in particular – to give Hodor a devastating scene worthy of his devotion to Bran. The best I can explain this – and I am really not good at understanding or describing timey-wimey stuff – is that Bran wargs into Hodor while in the past, controlling him in the future. This opens up a sort of portal that lets Wyllis hear Meera’s cries of “hold the door” and witness or experience his own future death at the hands of the wights as his words morph into “Hodor.” So the traumatic catalyst for Hodor’s mental state is his own death, his own sacrifice for Bran and Meera.
I think this is the perfect amount of complicated and thought-provoking without being distractingly confusing. It left me feeling physically pained and drained, like I had suffered some small portion of the trauma our characters went through this episode. It wasn’t the kind of gratuitous violence that makes you want to quit the show in anger – it’s an emotional devastation that hits so hard because of six years of fan (and show) devotion to Hodor. It’s the kind of epic feels fest that Game of Thrones can only give me when it’s at its best.
Mari: Beautifully said. I also felt really emotionally destroyed by the final scene. I keep saying this, but this season seems to be doing such a better job of balancing highs and lows. We get two clear examples of that here: Arya laughing at the play before she’s confronted with her trauma and Hodor and Meera laughing about bacon before the entire last scene, which explains to us Hodor’s trauma. They are giving us lighter moments and moments of triumph in order to offset the terrible moments and to make them count. They aren’t always effective (but we took a break from Ramsay today, so we won’t mention him more than this) but it’s getting better.
I thought the pacing of the last scene was phenomenal. From that moment of silence where Meera sees the army to the rush at the end, I was tense the entire time. Dear Hodor. Precious Summer. RIP everyone.
Diva: The high/low balance has been significantly better this season. They gave us a Stark reunion, for God’s sake. Getting to see Jon and Sansa hug and smile makes all the trauma so much easier to bear. And yes, the climactic final scene was paced and directed in an absolutely brilliant way. The stakes got higher and higher with every moment, and the cuts back to Warg Winterfell Bran, where everything was quiet and peaceful, were so jarring, you wanted to join Meera in screaming for Bran to wake up.
And, because I want to end this on a happier note, an assorted list of things I loved about this episode and would like more of please: Sansa telling it like it is; Littlefinger and Varys looking vulnerable; Ramsay being absent; backstage theater gossip; Tormund holding a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” over his head outside Brienne’s window.
Catherine: Seconded to all of the above. I can’t say I loved this episode, although last week’s Stark reunion was a tough act to follow. But Sansa was perfection in this episode. I love the epic comeback she seems to be making. It’s one that I think none of us really dared to hope for.
The addition of Red Lady #2 to the cast is kinda daunting to me as it’s SO obviously a mistake. When has the Red Lady/Lord of Light story line ever gone well for our heroes (aside from Jon’s resurrection obvs)? So it’s a bit like watching a car crash in slow motion at this point. Also a bit out of left field. Like who the fuck even is she?
The special effects in this episode were well done and the fight at the end was TENSE, you guys. I hate that Summer was killed. Especially so soon after ShaggyDog. Is it possible that the writers are killing off Direwolves because they feel like they’ve become extraneous to the plot? Is Ghost next? I hope not. It’s emotionally compromising me. These are animals, yes but they are also characters that are worth more than that to viewers.
On a final note, the gratuitous penis shot in this episode was both 1. Not one of the main actors and 2. Sandwiched in between boob shots (DON’T MAKE THAT JOKE YOU PERVERT). In other words, writers, if this is your effort to equal out the naked man/naked woman scenes so that people will stop thinking you’re misogynists, I’m unimpressed. It’s overly obvious and poorly executed. Dick shots are very important to me. I take this very seriously. I have a chart documenting this. You show me Jon Snow’s dick and we’re even.
Diva: I kind of like the Red Lady #2 introduction, because it helps prove that while these red priestesses obviously have power, they also can’t agree on something as simple as who the fulfillment of their god’s prophecy is. And I’m excited to see how the influence of R’hllor’s followers plays out in the east rather than in Westeros. As for the wolves – a lot of the internet seems convinced that direwolves are getting killed off primarily because the show can’t afford to show them very often. (At least, not if they ever want us to see a dragon again.) I hope that’s not true, because that’s weaksauce, and the direwolves are too important to be treated like disposable characters. (M: Just jumping in a final time to say that I saw a lot of SUMMER is gone, WINTER is coming stuff around Tumblr as well. Ugh, whatever. Winter has been coming forever. NO NEED TO KILL SUMMER.)
Also, Catherine, please send me that chart ASAP.
And now, the #gameofsnark tweets:
overcome with sansa empowerment, cant talk now #GameofThrones #gameofsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) May 23, 2016
Baby girl Sansa, I love you so much. Hold on to the happy. #gameofsnark
— Samantha Ania (@SamanthaSpice91) May 23, 2016
Littlefinger better step off. Sansa and Brienne don’t believe your shit. #GameofThrones #gameofsnark #thronesyall
— Tayci (@TayciBear) May 24, 2016
I want to watch this play forever and ever. #gameofsnark #GameofThrones
— Jessica Babb (@Jessicababb) May 23, 2016
Penis!!! A penis! And Richard E Grant! It’s all going on at the theatre #gameofsnark
— Franuel (@LollyWheeks) May 23, 2016
Wait, wtf? That white walker king guy was hot! Turn him back! #gameofsnark
— Catherine McGinnes (@CatherineJane91) May 23, 2016
euron’s going to build a wall, and he’s going to make Meereen pay for it! #gameofthrones #gameofsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) May 23, 2016
Jon/Sansa/Davos/Brienne working together is like building a rainbow of kindness. #gameofsnark
— Catherine McGinnes (@CatherineJane91) May 23, 2016
“He’s a bit of a brooder” says Brienne Understatement-of-the-Year-Tarth regarding Jon Snow. #YouWouldBroodToo#GameOfThrones #GameOfSnark
— Denise Wendt (@dwendt203) May 23, 2016
Sansa sitting in on political meetings and also sewing some fierce clothing. She is queen. #gameofsnark #GameofThrones
— Mari (@mynameismarines) May 23, 2016
DID SUMMER JUST #GameofThrones #gameofsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) May 23, 2016
Welp. I’m going to go cry forever now. #gameofsnark #GameofThrones
— Mari (@mynameismarines) May 23, 2016
Well that ending sucked. Gonna go cry for the rest of the night. #gameofsnark #GameofThrones
— Daria Marshall (@idoubledogdaria) May 23, 2016
Join us every episode for #gameofsnark. We live-Tweet at 9pm EST, but you can join in whenever you watch the episode! We keep checking for new Tweets until the recap airs.
See you next week!
Next time on Game of Thrones: Sam takes Gilly to his home in S06 E07 – Blood of my Blood.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.