Karina: A while ago I asked Mari if I could hijack Snark Squad to do a Goosebumps post since I had found one of the books at my local library and she was a total sport about it. And then Samantha volunteered as tribute to be my trusty sidekick which is how we got here. (S: Hello!) Truth be told, I didn’t read Goosebumps as a kid or teen so this is an adventure for me on more than one level. (S: Omigosh same, I was a super scairdy cat!) I was an Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie (yes, even at that time) kind of reader. Any-prolonged-introduction-way.
The story opens with our hero of the story, Mark, playing a video game about jungles and shrunken heads with his friends. Apparently the kid doesn’t have another game to play and is kind of obsessed with the jungle and his jungle cry of “Kah-lee-ah”. Mark’s little sister, Jessica, seems to be an even bigger fan of the Jungle King game so there is that.
Samantha: I was struck by how every Goosebumps book I’ve had vague contact with is about a boy. I’m rooting for Jessica. Also, Mark is a rude host.
Karina: The first chapter ends with Mark opening the door and being presented with something utterly disgusting. Dun-dun-dunnnnnn.
Of course it’s a shrunken head because that’s the title of this “scary book”. The harbinger of this shrunken head is Carolyn Hawlings, a fellow researcher in the jungle with Mark’s aunt Benna, whom he hasn’t seen since he was a little boy. It’s totes normal for Carolyn to show up at his house then. Carolyn claims Benna wrote the family a letter announcing her arrival and presentation of the shrunken head and naturally Mark’s mother is all “Oh, I’m sure the letter got lost in the mail”. Because so many letters go missing in the mail? I had one letter go missing in the mail and that was one coming from India. So this feels like a lazy trope to me.
Samantha: Absolutely. MAYBE SOME SUSPICION MOM; she comes bearing a literal dead person’s head. Also, I quietly ship Carolyn and Benna, I can’t help it. Catherine (of snark lady fame) has made me shipper trash recently.
Karina: How did I not see this? I’m usually the trashiest of shipper trash.
Mark’s mom is way too gullible is what we’re saying. Of course Carolyn stays the night and Mark gets to sleep with his shrunken head in his bedroom. Because, why not?! I really don’t know, you guys.
Samantha:
Karina: The head glows during the night and it freaks Mark out, which I find to be a very understandable reaction. I’d be freaked out as well!!! But also, I wouldn’t have slept with the shrunken head in my bedroom in the first place because I make smart decisions (like eating all the chocolate for dinner or an entire cheesecake in two days by myself). (S: Or eating 16 Starburst in the hopes that the sugar will carry you through the work day.)
The next morning, Mark’s mom and Carolyn have great news for Mark; his aunt Benna wants him to come to the abandoned jungle island and Carolyn is supposed to take him there. If this doesn’t sound shady to any parent then I don’t know what shady is supposed to be. But because negligent parents are the one thing you can count on in these sort of books/media, his mother sends him on his merry way off into the jungle. During the school year. Just because a strange woman who claims to work with her sister suggested it.
AND SO OFF THEY GO BECAUSE WHAT EVEN IS PARENTING???
Samantha: Ah, Traumaland parenting. Where negligence is just the tip of the iceberg. Also, Jessica isn’t coming so there goes my hopes and dreams.
Karina: On the island, Mark is greeted by Dr. Richard Hawlings and his daughter Kareen who spends time on the island as well. Benna is nowhere in sight, probably because these strange people and supposed-scientists murdered her and ate her flesh or something. Also, I wonder if Carolyn is also related to the Doc. I can’t remember the book mentioning it. (S: Yeah, do the kids in these books ever die? This is not looking, uh, good for Mark here.)
Mark asks about Benna and they tell him, she is missing. She got lost or something and they need him to find her again, which is very dubious. Even more so, when they mention Mark’s jungle magic which apparently was given to him when Benna last visited him. Not too long ago I reread some Twins at St. Clare’s and The Five books by Enid Blyton and they didn’t strike me quite as ludicrous as this story. I assume it’s part of the appeal, but I really don’t know.
Samantha: Is Mark’s weird jungle cry going to be the key to this whole thing? It’s not even catchy. Also, it’s like ancient indigenous people magic which made me uncomfortable.
Karina: The Hawlings play the missing person crap and jungle magic stuff up and enlist Mark to help him. Mark studies Benna’s journal and discovers that the Hawlings aren’t as nice as they seem. In fact, they want to exploit the jungle and milk it for their own gain. Benna wasn’t having any of it which is why she disappeared. (S: There goes my ship.) At least something that makes sense. Aside from the jungle magic, I find Benna to be a decent person. (S: #TeamBennaSorryThatYouProbablyGotEaten.)
Mark decides he isn’t safe there anymore and thinks he should leave. Where to on a jungle island, I have no idea but I don’t think he thought that much ahead either. Anyway, he is stopped by Kareen, who tells him she is worried about Benna and doesn’t care about Bennas arguments with her father. So Mark enlists her to help him get away. For any further help, Mark has to refer to his jungle magic which he (a) didn’t know he had until very recently and (b) has no idea how to access. So this is a great plan. At least he has his shrunken head.
Samantha: He doesn’t even know what exactly the jungle magic is? Like, what if it’s completely useless when it comes to actual survival? You are not Tarzan, Mark.
Karina: On his own in the jungle he first encounters red ants all over his body. Yikes. Just the thought makes me want to take a long shower to make sure nothing crawls on me. For some weird reason he starts screaming Kah-lee-ah and the ants disappear. Is that jungle magic?! IS IT? I think the boy found the jungle magic inside of him! HUZZAH!
Samantha: Oh my god I knew it. I knew it was going to be his stupid catch chant.
Karina: You’re so good at this!! Have a virtual cookie.
Later, Mark walks into quicksand and gets trapped. He tries the jungle magic word again but he doesn’t have his shrunken head anymore and the magic isn’t working. But don’t worry, he gets his hands on the shrunken head once more and manages to free himself from the quicksand.
Samantha: Okay but he does this by bouncing the head closer to him? Like. He bounces the quicksand? I… can’t possibly imagine how.
Karina: Farther into the jungle he goes, following the magic glowing shrunken head GPS. I’m not even kidding with this.
When he falls into a pit and can’t get himself out, Kareen shows up because apparently she followed him. And because he is a little trusting idiot, he explains to her the Kah-lee-ah and jungle magic stuff.
Not too long after that, Mark finds Benna and she fills him in on the true face of Dr. Hawlings. He isn’t nice at all and wants to see Benna dead for his own gain. And… and the little rat Kareen was in cahoots with her father the whole time because the Doctor shows up to take Benna and Mark back to the house.
Hawlings holds Benna and Mark hostage, trying to get Benna to reveal the secret about jungle magic but she isn’t having any of it.
Samantha: I mean obviously Benna is better than the Hawlings but she also admits to hypnotizing a 4 year old and putting him in massive danger with ancient jungle magic. So. She’s got some issues. #complexcharactersIguess
Karina: In the end, Mark uses jungle magic to free Benna and himself while shrinking the Hawlings gang.
Samantha: Even Kareen gets shrunk! And she’s an actual child! Is this an early lesson of snitches get stiches? Wtf.
Karina: Benna relieves Mark of his jungle magic but he gets to keep the shrunken head as a souvenir of almost dying by evil scientists. Totes normal.
Naturally, he is excited to show his shrunken head to his friends after returning home safely and going back to school. But now the head talks to him. So, not only did the kid get a shrunken head, he also got a talking shrunken head? #mindblown
Samantha: What the hell. IT TALKS TO HIM NOW. NO THANK YOU BYE.
Karina: What the frik-frak was this? I guess my takeaway is, never follow a stranger into a jungle and also never trust little kids. Did I get it right?
I'm a 30-something safety engineer dreaming of finding someone to support my habit of shipping badass women in media with each other. Love running and singing and also self-depricating humour.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.