After Chapter 14 – Hardin is not Darcy.

Previously: Tessa had her first day of school and took too many classes.

Samantha: We have made it all the way to Friday and Tessa is excited about spending her evening watching movies, as Steph will be at a party. I just had a flash of prognostication and this will not be how Tessa’s evening goes. She stops by a cafe and the pink haired girl from the party greets her! Oh no!

Tessa somehow remembers her name is Molly and is super rude to her.

“Yeah, that’s me,” I answer and turn to face the counter, attempting to avoid further conversation. 

Look, I totally get the desire to not be social. But, like, you don’t have to completely rude, especially when your basis for it is that she’s different from you.

Marines: She also kissed a boy, Samantha. SHUN THE SINNER.

Samantha: And then, even though we predicted that she wouldn’t be invited back, Molly tells Tessa that she should come to the party tonight. OH MY GOD ARE WE GOING TO ANOTHER PARTY ALREADY? It’s only been like, two chapters. Molly also tells her that Zed has been talking about her and wants to see her. What? She made that much of an impression with her church dress and English majoring and rudeness? What was in those flowers, Zed?

Mari: Perhaps she was the night’s entertainment. Maybe they all have money on what color her nun-dress will be next.

Samantha: Tessa lets Molly know that she has a boyfriend, which is a bummer cause they could have double dated otherwise. I’m having another oracle moment and there will probably be some form of double date from hell later. Odds are high.

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In her eagerness to stop talking to a tattooed human, Tessa grabs her coffee too roughly and burns her hand. She internal monologues that she would never do anything to her Noah, even if Zed is cute and nice. (M: Is this the chapter where Todd learned what foreshadowing was?)

She meets up with Landon before class and he tells her that he’ll be leaving early to head home for the weekend. She internally groans at the thought of being stuck with Hardin in class. (M: Honey, there are so many other people in that class.) He wasn’t there on Wednesday, but you didn’t hear that from Tessa. She says that she’s happy for him getting to see his girlfriend and also sorta judges him for going home? Pick a lane.

Mari: She has. She’s in the self-righteous fast lane.

Samantha: In class, Tessa is hyper aware of Hardin’s presence once Landon leaves. It reminds me of that time Bella and Edward watched a movie in class and got all weird hyper aware of each other. (M: Ewww.) The professor announces that next week begins their discussion of Pride and Prejudice and Tessa is super pumped because it’s her most favorite book. No no no, don’t you dare tarnish P&P for us, book!

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Mari: Oh, she’s totally going to use Mr. Darcy as some kind of excuse for Hardin’s yuck behavior, though really she should’ve gone with Mr. Rochester. Hardin definitely has someone stashed in the attic is all I’m saying. 

Samantha: Hardin follows her out of class, kind of stalker-y, and mocks her for loving Mr. Darcy. Ahem.

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Back off, Hardin.

Tessa wonders again if the novels in Hardin’s room could possibly be his. Uh. They’re in his room, girl. What, would he be holding tons of books for a friend? (M: They came with the room. All the pictures in the frames are also models.)

And then. Oh my god. Hardin says:

“A man who is rude and intolerable being made into a romantic hero? It’s ridiculous. If Elizabeth had any sense, she would have told him to fuck off from the beginning.”

I don’t. I don’t know what to do with this. Is Anna Todd pointing out the fundamental thing we’ve been shouting about in these recaps? She can’t be, not really, because she’s doing the same thing with her books (I’m assuming). So it must be that she’s drawing a Darcy/Hardin parallel? But the thing is Darcy actually does change and grow and become less of a douchebag as the story goes on. Edward/Jacob/Christian/Hardin don’t, however much the authors try to dress it up.

Mari: Jane Austen was also making commentary on class, the treatment of women, society, and of course the role of pride and prejudice in our understanding of people. Plus, yes, Darcy changes. I hate this so much. And what the hell is up with new/baby/bad authors being big-headed enough to draw parallels to the CLASSICS in their literal one-draft fan fiction? They should stop.

Samantha: Tessa laughs at this and realizes that she’s enjoying talking to him and his good looks. He asks if she agrees that Elizabeth is stupid and she defends Elizabeth as smart and complex. They laugh together over their genius witty banter before Hardin realizes that he’s having a pretentious genuine moment with Tessa and takes off. She wonders what his deal is but is interrupted by Noah calling her.

She answers guiltily and Noah is kind of cold and distant with her at first, referring to talking to his girlfriend as “I might as well call.” She asks if he’s busy, and he tells her that he’s just meeting some friends. She enthuses about the weekend and he tells her that her mom will be disappointed if she goes to another party. Woof. Can’t wait for you to get dumped, Noah. Is he based on a 1D boy? I can’t remember. (M: Please. No one in 1D gets dumped.) Tessa compares him to an annoying little brother and that’s exactly how you want to describe someone you’re macking with. They say that they miss each other but I’m not buying it.

Back in her room, Steph gets ready for the party while Tessa browses Netflix. She begs Tessa to come, for some unknown reason, while putting on a skanky green dress that goes great with her hair. Suddenly, Aphrodite herself intervenes and Tessa’s laptop crashes and dies! (M: Apparently, this is not the chapter Todd learns what contrivance is.) She agrees to go to the party so that she isn’t sitting alone in the dorm room, without even Gilmore Girls to comfort her.

 

Next time on After: OMFG already another party in Chapter 15.

Samantha (all posts)

I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.





Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





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