I feel like we’ve been working up to this moment for so long.
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Pilot
Marines: This past weekend the Gilmore Girls revival premiered on Netflix. Why not choose this moment to start our journey from the very beginning?
A title card and jaunty yet dated music bring us to a street in the quaint town of Stars Hollow.
Annie: I know it’s early for me to be already interrupting, but Pilot!Stars Hollow was filmed in a small town near Toronto. I visited it last year and all these years later, it really, really looks like Stars Hollow to me. (Sorry, sorry, sorry).
Mari: Forgiven because it came with adorable pictures. (S: COSIGN OF FORGIVENESS.)
We watch Lauren Graham (Lorelai) cross the street and it is then that I realize that this song is the original version of
“There She Goes,” which I of course didn’t recognize because I only know the Sixpense None the Richer version. Hello there, late 90s/early 2000s TV programming. I feel kind of icky already.
Lorelai walks into a coffee shop and very pleadingly looks at the scruffily handsome man at the counter. (S: So dreeeaaammmyy.) She approaches, coffee cup in hand and begs him for a cup, despite the five she already had at home. Luke concedes, but calls her a junkie.
A rather scrawny guy watches Lorelai really enjoy her coffee and decides to approach her with an opening line about making the coffee look good. I think they are really trying to sell us on the fact that Lorelai likes coffee. This actor kind of seems like someone I might now, but the Internet is telling me one of his main accomplishments is guest staring in both La Femme Nakita and Nakita. We’ll call him La Guest Nakita. He tells Lorelai that he’s just passing through Stars Hollow on his way to Hartford. Lorelai jokes that he’s a regular Kerouac, but it’s clear that reference goes over La Guest Nakita’s head and Lorelai is #overit. Also, I know that literature references are A Thing on this show because there is a whole Rory Gilmore Reading List. I tried to read On the Road several years ago and I DNFed at less than halfway through. Maybe one day I’ll finish, but probably not before I’m finished watching this show…
Lorelai finally gets rid of La Guest Nakita by insisting that she’s meeting someone.
After La Guest goes back to the bar, Alexis Bledel (Rory) walks in and comments on the very cold weather and her need for lip gloss. Lorelai pulls out two different make-up bags with many different lip gloss choices. Currently, seriously, honestly as I type this, my hands kind of smell like caramel macchiato because a K-cup exploded in my purse and I didn’t notice. I relate to Lorelai’s having a Hermione-worth of stuff in her purse is all I’m saying.
Samantha: I started using a smaller purse in the hopes that it would encourage me to carry less random stuff around. All it actually means is that I cannot currently zip my smaller purse.
Mari: Rory snips at her mother’s many make-up choices and Lorelai says she’s crabby. Rory’s current problems include lack of caffeine and the fact that she lost her Macy Gray CD (lolol). (A: Is this a safe space? Can I admit to owning that CD?) (S: *starts getting chairs in a circle for our early 2000s musical choices meeting*) Lorelai has the CD in her TARDIS purse and gets up to get Rory caffeine. In the moment it takes her to banter with Luke again, La Guest Nakita is back at Lorelai’s table, now giving Rory the same “I’ve never been here before” line. Lorelai breaks it up and makes it clear that Rory is her daughter. Rory asks, “are you my new daddy?” and it’s wonderful. La Guest gets all awkward about how Lorelai doesn’t look old enough to have a daughter and Rory doesn’t look like a daughter. (S: Nah, she totally looks like a child, probable creep.) Still not quite done yet, La Guest says that he is traveling with a friend. The final blow comes from Lorelai who says Rory is sixteen. La Guest basically runs out of Lukes’s and mother and daughter laugh and laugh.
I never watched Gilmore Girls while it was airing because when I tried, I found the dialogue and pace to be annoying. (SORRY.) That said, you can’t live in this world in my generation and not pick thinks up about this show through osmosis. Somehow, though, this is the first time I’m hearing the credits song ever? And I also didn’t really know that this show had a credits song? I mean, it’s no “you can’t take the sky from me” or anything, but it’s cute, I guess.
Annie: I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out whether or not I knew the song before this show. I’m familiar with other tracks from Carole King’s Tapestry album, so it’s possible. But the original, full song of “Where You Lead” is very different than the cut that is used as the Gilmore Girls theme. Either way, I can’t stop, won’t stop singing along.
Mari: Independence Inn. Lorelai’s at work. The guy at the front desk is trying to tell a woman on the phone that the inn is completely booked, but she keeps insisting. Anyone who has ever worked customer service or retail is doing some kind of symbol of solidarity right now. We feel you, bro.
A small, sassy woman wheels in a harp through the reception area. She snarks at the guests as she goes by. Lorelai stops her (Drella) and asks if maybe she could be nicer to the guests. Her answer is basically no and she keeps snarking and wheeling.
Samantha: The Independence Inn: How Do Most of These People Keep Their Customer Service Jobs?
Mari: Beautiful. This was before Yelp, right?
Lorelai handles an issue with the plumber as Rory walks up and helps herself to some stamps. Lorelai makes fun of her overlarge sweater and then suggests that Michel (front desk guy) look over her daughter’s French paper. Michel is into that 0%, but Lorelai imitates a French accent until he concedes.
School. Rory and her best friend Keiko Agena (Lane) are walking and expositing. Can we all for a moment acknowledge that Keiko was 27 when this pilot aired and she looks like a baby? (S: And has not virtually aged much since then?) Cool. Anyway, Lane grumps about how Parents Just Don’t Understand, and they are setting her up with a future doctor. As Rory and Lane walk into school, an actually baby Jared Padalecki stares at Rory. Watching baby Jared Padalecki on this show is going to be trippy. I didn’t even finish watching that show and he’s still Sam Winchester to me.
Samantha: I watched this show live before Supernatural and so JarPad simultaneously exists as both characters to me.
Annie: I never got on the Supernatural train, so Jared will always be Dumb-dumb Dean to me. Sorry, Jared! I’m sure you’re a nice guy and all, but PASS.
Mari: Anyhow, in class, the teachers talks about Huckleberry Finn. I read Tom Sawyer in high school but never the sequel. I’m 0.5/2 here. I’m going to stop playing this game now. It wasn’t even fun while it lasted.
The teacher tells everyone to finish their assignment silently. A group of girls choose instead to take turns painting a single nail. They notice Rory actually working on the assignment and totally roll their eyes at that. Rory just smiles.
Lorelai is still being busy at work when suddenly there is a crash from the kitchen. She yells at Sookie on the way in there and sure enough, Melissa McCarthy (Sookie) is on the floor, kitchen things about her in a heap. Lorelai tells her she has to be more careful and yells at one of the kitchen guys for not taking care of Sookie. She seems totally unconcerned, despite the multiple bandaids on her fingers, some bleeding, and the fact that she’s on the floor, because she’s fixed her peach syrup. Lorelai takes a taste and it is amazing. Lorelai tells Sookie that one day they’ll have their own inn and diabetics will line up for this syrup. In order to achieve that v important dream, though, Sookie has to not die. Lorelai helps her up.
Rory and Lane go to Lane’s place. The Kims run an antique shop. There is some confusion inside about where exactly Mama Kim is, but the girls finally find her in the kitchen. Mama Kim is less than thrilled about Rory’s presence and she also asks Lane if any girls got pregnant and dropped out from school yet. Rory jokes about one of their classmates glowing, but Mama Kim issues a hard pass on humor, as boys don’t like funny girls. Terrible Dating Advice From Mama Kim (S: Oh my god, best new tag.) ends when a customer walks into the antique shop.
Sookie is working her clumsy magic in the kitchen. Kitchen Dudes help her avoid any major accidents right up until Lorelai walks in and one of the Kitchen Dudes gets whacked in the face with a pan. Lorelai happily announces that Rory got into prep school because a spot opened up. Lorelai is so happy that Rory will be able to get into Harvard and get the education Lorelai never got and then she’ll get to resent her daughter and they can have a normal mother/daughter relationship.
Rory walks in and Sookie and Lorelai both look happy and slightly guilty, to the point that Rory asks if her mom did something slutty. “I’m not that happy,” she clarifies. Lorelai hands Rory a gift and it’s a uniform skirt, so that Rory thinks she’s going to be in a Britney Spears video. Now that’s a timeless joke.
Sookie spills: Rory’s going to Chilton! Rory can’t believe it. There are hugs all around and she rushes off to call Lane with the good news. Before the scene is out, Sookie sets a dishrag on fire and the real hero here, Kitchen Dude, promptly puts it out.
Annie: I hope Kitchen Dude gets danger pay.
Mari: Inn. The phone rings and Michel ignores it because people are stupid. Lorelai tells him that unemployment is even stupider, so he sighs and picks up the phone, only to tell whoever is calling that their inn is completely booked.
We cut to Lorelai on her own phone call to an enrollment lady at Chilton to see if she can pay half of the registration fee since it’s got a lot of zeros in it. The answer is presumably no as Lorelai says she’ll figure it out and then makes angry faces at the phone after she hangs up. (S: I know that face!)
Gilmore House. Lorelai is pacing and freaking out about how she’s going to make this work. Sookie tries to suggest something but Lorelai shoots her down, saying she would rather recreate scenes from Stephen King novels than do that thing. Rory comes out in her uniform skirt and it’s way too long on her. She tells her mom it would be okay if she hemmed it a little bit, which pleases Lorelai.
Inside, Lorelai hems while Rory happily talks about her last day of public school in which she even participated in gym and was reminded of why she doesn’t participate in gym. Sookie announces that she’s going to the store because Lorelai has nothing to eat. Sookie suggests duck and Lorelai says that’s cool, if it’s made of chicken. Lorelai pins Rory’s skirt and tells her to check it out. Rory says she loves being a private school girl and Lorelai looks gutted. Even more so as she looks at pictures of Rory up on the mantle, particularly one of baby Rory in front of a mansion.
Mansion. Lorelai sullenly drinks coffee outside.
We cut to her knocking on the door and Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore) answers, surprised to see her daughter. Lorelai says that she finished up her business class and figured it would be nice to come see Emily. Lorelai is as forced as Emily is fake when she invites her daughter in. (S: And let the buckets of Emily/Lorelei feels commence!)
The exchange more forced pleasantries. There hasn’t been dialogue so far that’s been particularly bad or good, but there is a line in here that I think sums Emily’s character (or introduction, I should say) so well. She asks Lorelai about the business class she mentioned. Lorelai says it’s a couple times a week at the community college and she’s sure that she mentioned it to her mother. Emily evenly responds, “well, if you’re sure, then you must have.” There is nothing wrong with those words, but the delivery and how cutting it seemed, almost insulting Lorelai in the most pleasant manner. Well done.
Annie: Insulting Lorelai in the most pleasant manner: Emily’s character in 7 words.
Mari: We hear Lorelai’s dad, Richard, call from elsewhere in the house. He (Edward Hermann) comes into the living room and is surprised to see Lorelai as well. Lorelai admits that she’s there for a reason. “You need money,” Richard guesses and Lorelai circles around the request, explaining that Rory got into Chilton but she needs to pay the registration and tuition before Monday. “So, you need money,” Richard repeats. It’s so painful. Lorelai says that it isn’t for her, it’s for Rory, and she never asks for favors. Richard says he’ll get his checkbook. Emily stops him, though, and says she’s got conditions. If they are going to be financially involved in Lorelai’s life, Emily wants to be actively involved in it. She wants a once-a-week dinner with Rory and Lorelai and a weekly call with updates on their lives. First dinner is tomorrow night and if Lorelai shows, she can walk away with a check. Lorelai doesn’t want Rory to know she’s borrowing money. Emily seemingly accepts those terms as she suggest 7pm the next night. Lorelai looks at an old, huge picture of her as a child with her parents. You can almost hear her yelling on the inside.
Annie: I hate how absolutely smug both Emily and Richard seem to be about Lorelai coming to them for money. Like they knew this day was coming and are so glad to be able to prove themselves right. Emily hits my feels in a special way, because she is so much like my grandmother. Unless my grandmother is reading this, and then I take it all back.
Mari: Hey, gma! Annie was joking.
Stars Hollow High. Rory is cleaning out her locker and gushing about uniforms and private school. Lane has to go for her hayride with a future doctor.
On the way out, Rory drops a few of her books and some trash. While she’s kneeling to pick it up, someone very tall stands near her. She tells this person they are like Ruth Gordon just standing there with a tannis root. Baby Paledecki (Dean) (LOL, he’s a Dean!), (S: I know, it’s amazing.) for that is who this is, gets the reference from Rosemary’s Baby. Rory stands, impressed by his knowledge but also probably by his pretty.
Dean asks if Rory is moving, but she says only her books are. Dean just moved from Chicago. He introduces himself and Rory returns, saying that her name is actually Lorelai because her mother named her daughter after herself because she was in the hospital just thinking about how boys get to name their children after themselves all the time. The feminism just took over, though Rory suspects the Demerol helped. That is also a pretty basic thing I never knew! Huh. All of these basic things pop-culture never taught me are going to be fun to pick up. Also, that makes the name of the next episode make so much more sense.
Samantha: One of my favorite things about doing this show is seeing what pop culture did and didn’t teach you.
Mari: I’ll be sure to keep that train rolling then.
After Rory babbles all of this, Dean says he has to go because he has to look for a job. Rory suggests he go to a dance teach named Ms. Patty, who apparently knows everything that is happening in town. Dean wonders if Rory will go with him and after a bit more awkward babbling, they are on their way.
As they walk, they pass a shop and Rory tells Dean that it has very good, round cakes. Undeterred by that brilliant conversation move, Dean asks Rory how she’s liking Moby Dick. She says she’s enjoying it, but then wonders how Dean knew she was reading it. He says he’s been watching her, but not in a creepy watching you way, but in a noticing her way. (A: Well, a long as he tells her it isn’t creepy…)
Luke’s. Rory and Lorelai are having dinner but they are both distracted and broody. Lorelai mentions that Rory got home late and she vaguely mentions the library. Lorelai tries to quickly tell her about the dinner with her grandparents the next night, and even though Rory seems to let it go at first, she later says she can’t believe they are doing this. Lorelai didn’t even ask Rory if she had plans. Lorelai said she would’ve known if Rory had plans, but Rory insists that she has her own things going on. The next bomb is that Rory doesn’t want to go to Chilton. She’s got a bunch of reasons why: it’s bad timing, Hartford is a 30 minute commute and it must be costing a lot of money. Lorelai can’t believe what she’s hearing. She gets so flustered, she has to leave the diner.
Samantha: You definitely get the vibe that they don’t miscommunicate/fight very often. It’s nicely done.
Mari: Outside, Lorelai and Rory walk and brood. The hayride passes by and Lane is sitting in between future-doctor and his older brother. She looks miserable and Rory gives her a little smile.
As they are walking, Rory and Lorelai pass by Ms. Patty’s dance class. She’s standing outside smoking and spots Rory. Patty tells her that she’s found a job for her male friend at the supermarket. Lorelai wants to know who the boy is and Patty makes it worse by going on about how handsome he is and what good taste Rory has. Rory walks away but Lorelai follows closely behind.
They get home and Lorelai starts yelling about how of course this is about a boy because Rory is Lorelai. Rory protests but Lorelai says throwing away opportunities for a cute boy does sound awful Lorelai-ish. Rory insists that she doesn’t want to go to Chilton for all the reasons she’s already stated, all while Lorelai yells about tattoos and motorcycles and how the boy better have them to make missing opportunities worth it.
(I’m sorry that all I can think about when people mention bad boys and motorcycles is Sweet Valley High and how Elizabeth woke up from a coma as a bad girl.)
Rory stomps to her room and a beat later, Lorelai follows, apologizing and asking if they can start over. She wants Rory to tell her about this guy, but Rory won’t talk. Instead, Lorelai lectures: Guys are great! Lorelai says you don’t get knocked up at 16 while being indifferent to guys, but guys will always be there. This opportunity won’t. Rory has always been the sensible one and she wants Rory to channel that feeling now or else she’ll kick herself in the butt for passing this up. Rory says it’s her butt and turns over, done with this conversation, so Lorelai says she’s going to pull the mom card. Rory is going to Chilton, whether she likes it or not. Rory says they’ll see about that and Lorelai says yes they will. Rory plays Macy Gray in her room.
Lorelai plays Macy Gray in the living room.
Samantha: Do they have 2 Macy Gray CDs?
Mari: Gotta be.
The next day, Sookie’s had another accident and it killed the stove. In between freaking out about that, she assures Lorelai that mothers and daughters fight and it’s totally normal. Michel comes in and says Rory is out front. Lorelai goes to the reception desk and tries to play it like everything is normal, but Rory is still being a brat. Lorelai sends her home and tells her to be ready for dinner at 7.
GilMansion. Lorelai stands outside of the door, having emotions again, and Rory asks if they are just going to stand here. Lorelai tells her to be civil at least for dinner and she can pull a Menedez later. Rory agrees and Lorelai rings the bell.
Emily answers, all happy they are there, though she gets a crack in about Lorelai’s coffee cup. Emily pulls Rory off and starts gushing about Chilton. In the living room, Richard is still sitting, reading the paper, though he does look up to comment (a few times) that Rory is tall. They have a toast celebrating Rory’s acceptance to Chilton, and Emily says education and family are the most important things. Lorelai adds a “and pie!” because why not make this more awkward? (S: Lorelai just cannot help herself. That could also be a drinking game contender.) Richard hands Rory a section of the newspaper which she doesn’t even know how to handle that.
Annie: I know that Alexis was brand-spankin’ new to acting in this role, but the confused expression on her face does not match up with the fact her grandfather is handing her a normal, everyday item like a newspaper. You’d think Richard had handed her a rubber chicken. That look always makes me laugh.
Mari: At the dinner table, Emily asks Rory how she likes the lamb. Rory says it’s perfect, but Lorelai has to instigate some more and says the potatoes could use salt. Rory quickly changes the subject and asks Richard how the insurance business goes. He blandly replies, “Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.” Lorelai jokes that at least he has a slogan now, but humor is dead and this dinner goes on. (A: “Boys don’t like funny girls!”) Richard asks how things at the motel are going and Lorelai says it’s an inn. Emily says that Lorelai is the manager now and Richard says, speaking of which, Christopher called yesterday. Lorelai doesn’t understand how that is a segue at ALL. (S: *unintelligible grumbling*)
Richards says that Christopher’s Internet start-up is going public next month. He tells Rory that her father is a very talented man and that she must get her smarts from him. That’s enough for Lorelai who excuses herself to grab a Coke or a knife. In the kitchen, Lorelai is so frustrated she starts washing dishes. Out at the dinner table, Rory says she’s going to go talk to her mom, but Emily stops her and goes instead.
Emily tells Lorelai to come back to the table. Lorelai asks if this is what it’s going to be like every Friday. They come over and her parents attack her. Emily thinks Lorelai is being dramatic and took what Richard said the wrong way, but Lorelai doesn’t think there was any other way to interpret that. Lorelai asks why Emily jumps on everything she says, but Emily says Lorelai hasn’t even said anything. Practically the only think Lorelai has said is “pie.” Every time they mention pie, I have to take an hour break to sing through the entire Waitress soundtrack.
Samantha: Should this be my next Musical Adventure?
Mari:
Lorelai asks why Richard had to even bring Christopher up and Emily says he likes Christopher. That’s funny considering that they didn’t like Christopher when he knocked Lorelai up. Emily says they were 16. Was she supposed to throw them a party? They threw away their bright futures. Lorelai argues that by not getting married, they were able to keep those bright futures. This is, I’m sure, an argument that Emily and Lorelai have had before and are always having, even when they are quiet. (A: You’re very good at TV, Mari.) Emily, the traditional and high class mother who would’ve seen the problem of Lorelai’s teenaged pregnancy resolved with a shotgun marriage and by shoving Christopher into the family business. Lorelai, who decided to buck all of that and instead work her way up in a job in order to provide for Rory while accepting no help from the people who would also force their expectations. Lorelai sees her actions as admirable, but Emily sees them as proud. I’m not sure either of them is entirely wrong. (S: It is nicely complicated.)
Lorelai says she wasn’t too proud to come asking for money for Rory’s school. Of course, they are shouting now and Rory overhears this. Richard is asleep at his chair. Lorelai and Emily remain at a deadlock: Lorelai has her pride and Emily has her weekly dinners.
We cut to Lorelai and Rory leaving for the night. Lorelai takes a deep breath outside the door and asks her daughter if she looks shorter because she feels shorter. Rory suggests a cup of coffee.
Luke’s. Rory admits that she overheard the whole argument. Rory thinks it was brave of Lorelai to go to them for money (S: Aw.) and asks how long before they repay it. Lorelai takes this as Rory’s change of heart. She’s going to Chilton.
Luke walks up to take their order and he’s clean shaven and in a collared shirt. Lorelai says he looks nice and he nearly shuffles his feet, in his gruff, emotionless way. It’s strange to me how little Luke had to do in this episode, knowing that he becomes A Thing. I mean, I get that the pilot had a lot to do, as it always does, but still.
Annie: I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that as originally written, Luke’s character was a woman named Daisy. The network told Sherman-Paladino the show needed more men, so she made Daisy into a man. In interviews, Amy said she didn’t even bother to change the dialogue in the pilot, but that it was Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson’s chemistry that made Luke and Lorelai into a Thing.
Samantha: I just read this recently too and it’s so interesting because, although I’m biased by the future, they do very clearly have sparks.
Mari: The girls order coffee and chili fries and Luke comments on their unhealthy habits before leaving again. Lorelai tries to get more information about Rory’s mystery boy, but Rory won’t spill. Luke returns with their order and says more about how unhealthy this is for Rory and how she doesn’t want to turn out like her mother. Rory says it’s too late and they smile fondly at each other. We pull out of the shot with emotional music and more banter about boys.
I feel like emotional music and boy banter is a thing we’ll see again on this show. I’m a Snow again so that means you’ll get to enjoy many more of those Snark Lady Prophecies in the seasons to come.
Annie: It helps that you’re very good at TV, but I’m super excited for your Gilmore girls-related Snark Lady Prophecies.
Mari: Considering that my first impression of this show (many, many years ago) was a hard pass, I found this more enjoyable than expected. It was a solid pilot that introduced characters, premises and conflict pretty seamlessly. The Gilmore girls are charming and yeah! I think I’ll like this, friends. I think I will.
Next time on Gilmore Girls: Rory has a no good very bad day on on S01 E02 – The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Fuchsia-haired, caffeine enthusiast, dog person, Raptors fan, sometimes blogger, music & social media geek, freelancer, human being. She/her.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.