snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

May 2017

Supergirl S02 E07 – Gently Missing

by Catherine May 31, 2017 Uncategorized
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This episode starts with Supergirl being thrown through a wall by Martian Manhunter/Hank Henshaw who still looks like regular Hank with a Martian voice. Supergirl asks him why he’s doing this and he tells her that it’s time for her to die. Yikes! How scary! A flashback episode? Ew.

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Charmed S03 E09 – The Blood of Dwight Schrute

by Marines May 17, 2017 Charmed
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[…]

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E17 – Splitting up saves lives

by Jessica May 16, 2017 Pretty Little Liars
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We start off in Caleb’s hacker apartment, with the “suspicious storage unit was rented in Hanna’s name” plot point. Caleb and Spencer are convinced that the barrel they found in there contains Mona’s body, without, you know, having looked inside it. Maybe they’ve been reading the Rosewood LOLPD manual on how to investigate potential crime scenes.

Marines: They also haven’t been paying enough attention to their lives to figure out that whatever they think happened is 100% not what happened.

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A Series of Unfortunate Event S01 E07 – Destroyed.

by Marines May 11, 2017 Uncategorized
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New two-parter = new credits! NPH sings, “the lumber mill is where the Baudelaires are forced to work, the eye doctor is sinister, the owner is a jerk, they end up in a fiendish plot with logs and hypnotism, the very thought of watching should be met with skepticism.”

Look away, look away, etc.

New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.

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Supergirl S02 E06 – Really good crying.

by Marines May 4, 2017 Season 2
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We start in Svalbaro, Norway at the Thorul Arctic Research Center. A lady scientist finds a Dr. Jones, as there is something he needs to see. Dr. Jones is played by William Mapother, who has guest starred in a bunch of stuff, was on Lost and is Tom Cruise’s little cousin. (C: I wouldn’t put that particular detail on my resume.) We cut to a lab where there is a dead wolf on a table. The lady scientist explains that they found an arrowhead in it, dating back to 3000 B.C. Dr. Jones kind of waves off the discovery, as they are climate change experts not archaeologists, but lady scientist invites Dr. Jones to touch the dead wolf. Despite having been trapped under the ice for 5,000 years, the wolf is warm.

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Doctor Who S05 E03 – Heil Dalek

by Dani May 3, 2017 Doctor Who
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This is the first episode of Doctor Who that I get to recap, and I’m so psyched to join the team that I won’t even complain about it involving stupid Daleks.

Marines: That’s a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!

Kirsti: I’m super happy to have you too because it means I have to recap fewer episodes of the Matt Smith era!! 

Dani: #Priorities

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After Chapter 34 – Chamomile tea is not enough.

by Samantha May 2, 2017 Uncategorized
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You can stop sweating with anxiety, dear readers! Hardin goes over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of blue and white boxers that are apparently hideous. (M: How hideous can they be without cartoon characters or something on them? What’s happening?) Tessa notes that Hardin’s soon to be step mom or father must have bought clothes for him to have here. Hardin leaves the room to change because it’s really nice to have privacy and stuff and to feel comfortable and IT WOULD REALLY SUCK IF SOMEONE FORCEFULLY TOOK THAT AWAY FROM SOMEONE. Ahem.

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After Chapter 33 – Stomach Ache

by Marines May 2, 2017 After
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Hardin’s eyes are on fire (“blazing”) as he pulls Tessa onto the bed and on top of him. Tessa is straddling him, which she’s done before, but now she’s straddling him with very little clothing on. She stays up on her knees so they aren’t touching but “Hardin isn’t having it,” and he pulls her all the way down. Because clearly what Hardin’s having is the only thing on the menu.

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