Previously: Alex comes out to Kara and Mon-El is THE WORST.
The Darkest Place
Catherine: This episode starts with Supergirl being thrown through a wall by Martian Manhunter/Hank Henshaw who still looks like regular Hank with a Martian voice. Supergirl asks him why he’s doing this and he tells her that it’s time for her to die. Yikes! How scary! A flashback episode? Ew.
Samantha: Yeah, I am, 99% of the time not on board with these kind of episode structures. They are almost always purposefully misleading and always frustrating. I’m here for a cool non-linear, really playing with the trope episode but this is so freaking formulaic at this point. No thanks.
Marines: I’m with you, guys. It’s always going to remind me of Stephenie Meyer now because that’s literally how she starts everything ever. If Meyer does it, maybe you should not. #protip
24 hours earlier, we’re taken to the alien bar where Jimmy and Winn are hanging out among the local aliens for the first time. Winn says that they have good chicken wings and Kara asks him how he knows that’s chicken. He chokes on it at the suggestion.
A report comes over the TV from some kinda non-Perd Hapley about the Guardian and Jimmy awkwards about how he totally thinks that Guardian is a good guy and he hears he has big muscles and has sex super a lot.
If you’ve forgotten from last week, Jimmy is the Guardian now.
Samantha: Aw man, let’s watch Community.
Catherine: If only.
We’re shown a flashback of him winning fights against various small time criminals, which, thank god. I had no evidence before this that he could even win a fight. I’m still salty that he decided to become a superhero based off of no evidence that he could take down bad guys and all evidence that he could NOT.
Kara points out that the Guardian wears a mask, and she finds that suspicious. This is, of course one of the age old reasons that the public trusts Superman—he doesn’t wear a mask, so they feel that he has nothing to hide.
Samantha: Hahahaha, right, he doesn’t wear a mask but does wear magic glasses that disguise his identity so IDK if we want to be giving him all the awards yet. *grumbles forever*
Mari: Way to shoehorn in more reasons why mask-less Supers “make sense.”
Catherine: I will always shoehorn them in! I will DIE defending it.
Anyway, Winn defends the Guardian and Alex says that she bets that the guy is working with a partner. This spooks Winn and we’re treated to a flashback of Winn in a surveillance van watching Jimmy/Guardian fight and giving him updates on new crimes that are coming over the police radio.
Back in the bar, Kara says that Clark once worked with a vigilante that had ‘tons of Gadgets and lots of demons’ and I ALREADY USED MY ABED IS BATMAN NOW REFERENCE. Ugh.
Anyway, Kara doesn’t trust vigilantes, which is fair because Supers canonically don’t. (S: So they’re not vigilantes because they work with shady government organizations?) (C: Um… fair point.) Alex agrees. Jimmy and Winn are bad at hiding things.
Maggie shows up, and Alex nervously introduces her to everyone, including Kara, who she seems kinda nervous to introduce her to. Probably because she’s worried that Maggie will eventually figure out the Kara = Supergirl thing? Makes sense.
Trying to change the subject, Alex asks Kara where Mon-El is and Kara says that he is probably with one of his many, many girlfriends. She asks what the word for a male floozy is, and Alex says ‘A Daxamite’. Kara shrugs that at least he’s having fun.
Cut to Mon-El in a cage at Cadmus Labs, trying to irritate his guard into making a mistake. (S: Legit forgot he got kidnapped.) (M: Same.) Finally, the guard pulls a gun on him, and of course Mon-El demonstrates his superior fighting skills by disarming the guy through the cage, getting the keycard and escaping. He makes it to the door only to be stopped by Mama Luthor who has two guards that bring up a struggling Hank. Mama Luthor threatens to kill Hank if Mon-El doesn’t get back in his cage.
Instantly we’re taken to the next scene of Hank at the DEO. Confusing? You bet! M’gann comes in to visit Hank and bring him a Martian soup that she recreated. He’s all positive and thanks for the blood until he starts to hallucinate his Martian family in the room reaching for him. He spaces out, lies that he’s fine and M’gann leaves with a worried look.
Out on….uh, random crime street, the Guardian stops a robber who tells him that he’s gonna sue and he knows a lawyer. The Guardian hero patters about how he’s gonna need a lawyer so that’s good. The Gaurdian speeds off, leaving the guy hanging, Spiderman-style from an overpass by his feet. But whoops! Another costumed person comes up and shoots the guy. (S: I’m laughing, I’m sorry, I don’t even know why.)
The next morning at CatCo, Random Reporter tells Jimmy that there’s breaking news on the Guardian. Jimmy smugly asks who that brave Adonis, that Cadillac of men, the Guardian saved this time. But whoops! No, the Guardian has apparently murdered someone.
Ha! Welcome to being a hero, Jimmy. Who gets to be smug now? Me, I do. I did nothing, but I do. (S: Yes, I think the smugness is why I’m laughing.) Jimmy goes down to Snapper’s office, who shows security footage of the thief from the night before getting killed. The footage barely shows the murderer. Jimmy says that it obviously wasn’t the Guardian and that the Guardian wouldn’t do that. He really does word it like that. He’s very bad at lying, guys.
Snapper accuses Jimmy of being ‘in the tank’ for superheros. A phrase which apparently means ‘blinded by your own confirmation bias’. The more you know!
Winn rushes in and pulls Jimmy away to have a panic attack over the murder.
Winn knows that Jimmy didn’t do it, obviously, since he was with him right afterward. But he wants to shut down the whole Guardian thing. Jimmy gets pissed off and tells him they aren’t gonna do that. He says that he’s gonna set up a sting on the docks by catching drug smugglers and if the Copycat Murder Guardian shows up they can go right ahead and catch him too and clear their names.
Winn wonders why he’s strong enough to say no to joining Jimmy’s fantasy football league but not to this. Good question. I would be out of there. His name isn’t attached to any of this shit. By the way, friends, I will let you go down on a murder charge to save myself, probably. Sorry this episode is bringing out that side of me, but there it is. (S: Wow. WOW.) (M: Part of me feels like this storyline brings out the worst side of us all.)
DEO. Supergirl goes to find Hank, who is doing some type of Tai-Chi thing. He tells her that he learned it from a monk in the 1800’s and it has always made him feel centered when he was out of sorts. He admits that he’s been hallucinating visions of his dead Martian family. Which is great! I was worried that they were gonna drag that out for a while. (S: Yay talking!) Kara admits that when she first came to earth she saw visions of her parents everywhere. Once when she was a teenager she yelled at her adoptive mom about it, and Eliza told her that her parents would want her to be happy. This is all a set up to tell Hank that he might be feeling guilty for having M’gann in his life but that he shouldn’t feel like he’s betraying his family.
This was actually kind of a nice scene for me. I like the interaction between Hank and Kara (even though we know his problem is more serious then either of them think right now) and I especially like that Kara is in costume at the DEO since lately they have been having her there in civilian clothes wayyyyy too much.
Docks of crime. Two criminals are doing crime things when the Guardian shows up and punches them. Fake Murdery Guardian shows up and shoots one of the criminals and tells The Guardian that he wants to clean up the city and he thought they could be allies but Guardian isn’t willing to do what’s necessary yada, yada, yada. When does one of them say ‘Martha’ again so this movie can be over? (S: CACKLING.)
Fake Guardian escapes just as the cops arrive and try to arrest Real Guardian. Real Guardian disappears into a cheap magician light show. (M: They should extra arrest him for that mess.)
Alex calls Supergirl and tells her what’s going on at the docks but before Supergirl can head over there, her earpiece is interfered with by Mama Luthor. Mama Luthor tells her to come to Cadmus because they have Mon-El. She does some classic Luthor speecifying about Greek heroes before Supergirl bursts through the window at where Cadmus apparently is.
I’m not sure how she knows where it is. I guess Mama Luthor told her? Did I miss a scene where they found out this information? Or am I forgetting something?
Samantha: IDK. I keep forgetting they exist. Unless Dean Cain shows up I’m meh at them.
Mari: True about Cadmus, but also true about this show in general.
Catherine: Anyway, Supergirl gets to the lab (it sort of looks like an abandoned hospital) and runs into Hank who is acting as though he’s been possessed. So this is the origin of the fight between them at the beginning of the episode. BUT Supergirl figures out that it’s not actually Martian Manhunter Hank, it’s the REAL Hank Henshaw.
Like, the human alien hunter that Hank accidentally killed and assumed the identity of. Remember? It was last season? Dean Cain was there, still looking fine as hell? Anyway, real, human Hank Henshaw is still alive and has apparently been working for Cadmus this entire time. Twist! And what a way to save on that actor budget!
Real Hank villains about how Cadmus has taken up the alien hunting mantle that the DEO dropped the ball on. Am I mixing my metaphors? Maybe. Real Hank and Supergirl start fighting and we get to see a replay of him telling her to die. He calls her ‘alien scum’. Rude.
Supergirl heat visions his face and part of his skin melts off to reveal a cyborg eye. Real Hank says that he is Cyborg Superman now.
You’ve gotta be FUCKING kidding me.
Real Hank is the cyborg Hank Henshaw from the comics? YOU’VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. Why?? So, okay, wait. So the canonical comic version of Hank Henshaw, this guy:
Is actually in the show now? The whole thing about them mashing up the characters of Hank Henshaw and Martian Manhunter was only partially true, I guess? So was my nerd rage for the past year unjustified? (S: Nah. Always justified cause purposeful misdirect.) Right, it wasn’t, because him calling himself Cyborg Superman makes no fucking sense. He only called himself that in the comics because after Superman died (briefly, hey, it was the 90’s). Hank Henshaw/Cyborg showed up looking like Superman and acting like Superman in order to fool everyone into thinking that he was Superman and destroy his reputation. Having Real Hank say that he’s Cyborg Superman while still looking like Hank Henshaw makes no goddamn sense. They only did that for the name recognition in a clumsy, ass-handed attempt to please comic fans with no real understanding of what they were even referencing I can’t believe I’m going on another rant about this an entire year later everytime I do this my head explodes and I just know it’s gonna
So basically, in conclusion, this twist is dumb and it makes no sense and I HATE it. Once again. I’m not sorry.
At the DEO, Winn is nervously watching the news as Maggie says that they’ve issued an arrest warrant for Guardian. Alex comes in and asks if he’s seen Kara since she’s been gently missing for a few hours.
Mari: I love gently missing. I’m going to use that now every time someone walks into HR looking for my boss.
Catherine: Winn says that she’s probably just out looking for Guardian and asks Alex if she can tell Maggie to lay off Guardian. Alex asks why, and Winn says that he just sort of generally supports vigilantes. Alex manages to see through Winn’s terrible lying and realizes that he knows something about Guardian. She pushes him against a wall and tells him that she knows six different ways to get him to confess what he knows using only her index finger. Painful ways. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Winn folds like a piece of paper and tells he that Jimmy is Guardian. (S: Well THAT barely lasted an episode.) Alex starts to call Kara but Winn stops her and convinces her that Guardian is doing good, and she can’t tell anyone about his secret identity. Alex smacks him upside the head and says that she’ll deal with him later.
Cadmus. Kara wakes up inside of a neighboring cage to Mon-El. He tells her that they captured Jon and she tells him about Real Hank. Mon-El realizes that he was bamboozled. Kara tries to bend the bars of her cell but apparently they’re made from some unbreakable metal from another planet. (M: Convenient!) Kara tells Mon-El who Cadmus are and realizes that they kidnapped him to get to her.
Outside the police station, Alex stops Maggie and asks her to lay off Guardian. I mean, the damage is already kinda done here, Alex. Of course, Maggie isn’t willing to drop her prime murder suspect over Alex just sort of asking her to. Maggie asks for more information and reminds Alex that they’re friends but Alex interrupts her and says that they so aren’t friends. Maggie is confused. Alex reminds her about the awkward rejection and tells her that she was proud to come out to Kara only because of the feelings that she already knew she had for Maggie. Since Maggie rejected her she’s been feeling less proud and more embarrassed. Now she’s just angry. She tells her that the only thing that’s important is that Maggie backs of Guardian and storms off.
I’m genuinely not sure how I feel about this scene. It makes sense for Alex to feel shitty about being rejected but I also don’t like the implication that she sort of… blames Maggie for not wanting to date her? But I also feel that it’s fair that she doesn’t want to be friends. I’m all confused about my emotions now. Help?
Samantha: There’s a lot of nuance? I think? It’s fine that she doesn’t want to be friends but the anger at her is misdirected. I think it’s valid that she’s confused and hurt and generally a mess about it but that’s not Maggie’s… fault?
Mari: It’s very human, if a little shitty. I mean, how many of us have also turned rejection into anger, you know? I think we are supposed to be feeling all the complicated emotions right along with Alex, though I would’ve liked her to be like, “we can’t be friends because I really like you DUH.”
Catherine: Again, fair. Thank you both for the help.
Alex goes back to the DEO and asks Fake Hank, aka J’onn, (which is what we’re gonna have to call him now, btw, in order to avoid confusion) if he’s heard from Kara. He says he hasn’t but suddenly hallucinates a White Martian at the top of the stairs and pulls his gun. Of course, the White Martian isn’t really there and everyone freaks out about him pulling his gun on a coworker. Pfft. Bunch of babies. J’onn tells Alex that she needs to run some tests on him because somethings wrong.
Cadmus. Mama Luthor comes in, and Supergirl realizes that she has seen her at Lena’s office before. Mama Luthor admits that she is, indeed, Mama Luthor. Or Lillian Luthor, a name that we will probably never call her. (S: Is the dad Luke? Or Lenny?) (C: In ‘Smallville’ he was called Lionel. So….there’s a fact.)
Supergirl asks if Lena knows that her mother is a crazy villain. Mama Luthor asks Supergirl who she is to Lena and Supergirl says that she’s a friend. There are a lot of shippers on Tumblr who disagree, girl.
Mama Luthor says that years earlier, Superman came to Lex and said that he was a friend. But then Superman started getting more and more famous and Lex got jealous and tried to kill him. Look, this isn’t how she describes it obviously, but I’m reading between the lines here. Then Superman put Lex in jail. And now Mama Luthor hates aliens.
Mari: So she’s trying to kill more of them WHICH WAS THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Catherine: She’s not great at plans.
Supergirl asks what she wants from her and Mama Luthor tells her that she wants her to be human for a little while. She references Supergirl’s fight with Red Tornado, when she depleted the solar energy in her cells by using her heat vision too much and became human for a day. This was a nice call back to last season and some great comic book science. Cadmus has designed a helmet to absorb the radiation and turn Supergirl into a solar flare. Supergirl says she won’t put it on but then Mama Luthor shoots Mon-El with lead bullets, lead being his Kryptonite.
Of course, Supergirl agrees so they won’t kill Miracle Whip. She puts on the helmet and heat visions into it until she’s out of heat vision. Then she collapses and Mama Luthor slaps her. RUDE. The Cadmus lackeys take her away while Mon-El shouts for her. Supergirl gets dragged into a scary operation room and strapped down to a table. Mama Luthor takes some of her blood and tells her to relax in a really condescending way.
CatCo. Winn finds some info about the guy that Fake Guardian murdered. It turns out the guy was convicted of buying drugs before but was released on a technicality. The OTHER guy that got murdered was also released on a technicality from a murder conviction. Sounds like there’s an awful lot of strange technicalities bugging up the law and order system in National City. COULD IT BE because Vigilantes taking it upon themselves to string people up from telephone poles wouldn’t really get by in an actual court? Maybe? (S: WEIRD.)
Anyway, Fake Guardian is targeting people that he feels escaped justice and conviction. Winn finds a woman that was murdered and the murderer was let go because of a mistrial. Of course, the woman’s husband was this jacked up Navy Seal that went missing a few weeks ago. The woman’s murderer has already been killed. So Winn thinks this guy is just going around killing people that the cops can’t arrest—wait a minute, this is the Punisher. You just created the Punisher. (S: LOL NICE TRY, DC SHOW.)
I mean, The Punisher is a cool vigilante. You shouldn’t be ashamed of coming up with The Punisher. Would have been nice if you’d thought of it first, though.
DEO. Alex is taking Jon’s blood and then she computers it to find out that his blood is doing some super weird shit. I’m not a doctor, guys. She used a lot of big words.
Alex pulls up a zoomed in pic of his blood cells or something and they’re looking WILD. Alex is shocked but Jon realizes that he’s seen this before and he’s pissed.
He stops M’gann as she’s leaving work and confronts her because, surprise! She’s a White Martian. I think we already knew that but I sort of forgot about it.
As a recap, the White Martian’s basically enslaved and killed off all of the Green Martians, which are Jon’s people. So, needless to say, he’s not as in to fucking her anymore. M’gann tries to explain and tells him that she doesn’t want to kill anyone.
Samantha: It has. I think it was my recap episode so I remember it better. The first time she told it she claimed she was one of the Green Martians freed by this White Martian.
Catherine: I’m just impressed that you retained any of this.
She says that she barely managed to escape the planet with her life. Jon says that she should have died and demands that she show her true form. So she CGI’s into a giant White Martian and Jon CGI’s into Martian Manhunter.
CADMUS. Supergirl is literally thrown back into her cage, looking rough. She tells Mon-El that she’s scared and that if she doesn’t make it out, he wants her to tell Alex that she wasn’t scared and to keep living her life on her own terms. IDK why she thinks Mon-El will make it out if she doesn’t. His only Achilles Heel is the thing we ALREADY make bullets out of on earth.
He points out that he might die and he probably deserves it for surviving Daxam when everyone else died. She says that the Prince obviously thought that he was worth saving since he gave up his own life for it. Mon-El says that there’s something about Daxam that he needs to tell her. OF COURSE there is. Of course. It’s gonna turn out that he caused the planet to explode or some shit so we can hear all about his manguilt. God. I hate this dude so much for some reason? It’s like I stopped hating Winn and I had to put that hate somewhere and it just naturally transferred. (S: It’s SUCH a valid fit. He’s a terrible annoying white boy.)
Mon-El is interrupted by a hooded figure opening her cage and telling her to come with him. She demands to know who he is. He takes off his hood and it’s DEAN CAIN.
MARI! WAKE UP! DEAN CAIN CAME BACK.
Mari: IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW FROM THE FUTURE THAT I WAS BARELY COMMENTING ON THIS POST! HOORAY!
Samantha: HOLY SHIT I WAS TOTALLY KIDDING EARLIER AHHHHH!
Catherine: Kara gives him a hug and he tells her they have to move and unlocks Mon-El’s cage. Of course, Mon-El just flops out onto the ground like the useless dick he is. (S: They do make a governmentally funded pill for that, buddy.)
Dean Cain brings Mon-El to a operating room to get the bullet out before he dies.
Then Kara and Mon-El run off because Dean Cain’s budget is too much for more than five minutes of screen time.
Samantha: I can’t stop wondering if he’s okay??? What are they doing to him????
Mari: I’d sacrifice a lot of budget for more Dean Cain. Like all of Jimmy and all the CGI flying, for instance. Don’t need it.
Catherine: Back outside the alien bar, Jon and M’gann are fighting in the sky. He tells her that he is going to kill her to avenge his wife and children and all the other Green Martians that were killed. But before he can, she reverts back into her hot, human self. She doesn’t want to die as a White Martian. Jon demands that she change back but she doesn’t and he looks at her all “Dammit!” before the scene changes.
Other crime alley. Gaurdian shows up to rescue a guy who is tied up. Fake Gaurdian, aka The Punisher, shows up also and they fight again with a bunch of flips and hey—Fake Guardian has an automatic gun that he’s shooting. Wow. They aren’t really leaning away from this comparison, are they?
Winn helps Jimmy fight, because I guess that’s his job now too. Fake Guardian goes up to the tied up guy and asks him if it felt good to kill. The guy reminds him that the cops let him walk free and Fake Guardian says that just makes him lucky, not innocent. Jimmy charges into him before he can kill the guy. More fighting happens, then Fake Guardian pulls his mask off. Guardian and this guy, Phillip Navy Seal have a talk about what it’s like to lose someone you love. Guardian says that he lost his father, but he’s not killing people in his name because that’s wrong.
If this scene seems familiar, you may remember it as the roof confrontation between The Punisher and Daredevil in the most recent season of Daredevil on Netflix.
I’m sorry, I just really love Daredevil and this?
Anyway, Alex and Maggie show up and point guns at everyone. Maggie has to decide whether she’s gonna arrest Jimmy (who is still Guardian and hasn’t removed his mask) or let him go before her backup arrives. But of course, she lets him go and he jumps away in the super fast way that he can apparently do.
DEO. Alex rushes in to see Kara after she finds out that Cadmus took her. Kara shuts her up by telling her that Dean Cain helped her escape. Alex is shocked. She’s usually pretty shocked.
In the next scene, DEO agents swarm through the tunnel that Kara and limp dick escaped from. We all already know it’s not gonna be that easy right? OBVOUSLY. Of course, Cadmus is gone.
DEO. J’onn walks in to a new toilet-less window cell thing to see M’gann. Hey! There’s a new cell in the new DEO. I don’t think we’ve seen that yet. Juries still out on whether there’s a toilet. (S: What about the Netflix?!)
J’onn tells M’gann that he only spared her life so she could rot in a cell. She warns him that the White Martians have been experimenting with finding new ways to kill the Green Martians and one of them is apparently through transfusions. So her blood is turning him into a White Martian and that’s why he’s been having hallucinations and shit. (S: I mean I know he was dying or something but damn, this was a pretty big thing to just DO to him.) As Jon turns to walk away his hand shifts into a gross White Martian hand.
Super Pad. Kara is tending to Mon-El’s leg which is still not healed? Despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a fucking superhero and gain powers from the sun and shit. Okay. Fine. Alex, Jimmy and Winn come in with food and Kara heats up the food to demonstrate that her powers are back now because it was a last second plot point and not a whole episode plot point, this time.
Not Perd Hapley comes on the news and says that Guardian is being hailed as a hero for assisting in Fake Guardian’s arrest. Kara admits that she was wrong about Guardian and Jimmy smugs about how right he was. Kara wonders who Guardian is, and Alex says something leading that makes Jimmy look at Winn accusingly.
Kara and Mon-El talk about how good it is to be not kidnapped anymore. Mon-El tells her that he was only able to be courageous because he learned it from her blah, blah, blah. Watching their blooming romance is like watching a car crash in slow motion. There’s nothing we can do stop it and we’re gonna have to just watch it make a mess.
Mari: It hurts, too.
Catherine: Ugh. Mon-El watches Kara move off and asks Winn and Jimmy (who are together so much now that I move we refer to them as ‘Wimmy’ from now on) if Kara has “mated” to someone yet. Wimmy is appropriately weirded out. Mon-El explains that they have arranged marriages on Daxam that work within the concept of soulmates. Basically, when you reach a certain age, your soul latches to a mate. I know it’s slightly different but this gave me flashback to imprinting from the Twilight series that then, additionally, went on to give me nightmare screams and sob crying. The trauma is real, you guys. (S: STOP IT RIGHT NOW MAYO BOY.)
Wimmy explain the concept of earth marriage to him, and he asks if Kara has chosen anyone to marry. Wimmy explain that she hasn’t, very casually even though the entirety of Wimmy was very recently in love with Kara.
Mon-El tries to fob it off like he’s just learning earth customs but no one believes him.
There’s a knock on the door and it’s Maggie. Alex goes out into the hall to talk to her privately. Maggie tells her that she heard what Alex was laying down and she does care about her.
Kara asks her how that went, and Alex scolds her for spying. Then Kara brings up Dean Cain and assures Alex that they’re going to find him. But Alex is glad that he seemed okay and that he is still the same. Also, neither of them can believe that Mama Luther is the head of Cadmus and also, also? They want to know why she stole Kara’s blood. Probably not for a craft project. Although technically ANYTHING can be a craft project, even shady science!
Up in the Fortress of Solitude, Hank (Robot Hank) walks in as cute little robot guy, Kal-Ex tells him to halt or be disintegrated. Hank drips the vial of Kara’s blood all over his hand and then touches a Kryptonian symbol. Kal-Ex instantly starts addressing him as Kara Zor-El.
Hank demands that Kal-Ex tell him everything it knows about a project called Medusa.
Samantha: Shouldn’t Kara and Alex be telling their mom about seeing Dean Cain?
Catherine: Ssh, that’s for next week to deal with.
Next time on Supergirl: Something, something, FLASH! in S02 E08 – Medusa.