Previously: Interplanetary human trafficking.
We Can Be Heroes
Samantha: The episode begins with Supergirl and Mon-El training at the DEO with a little beach ball robot. Remember ’cause Mon-El said he wants to be a hero now? There’s also cardboard cutouts of Hank and some random people. It’s kind of weird to see this fancy beach ball robot technology and then also just, cardboard. Anyway, Mon-El accidentally decapitates a little girl cardboard and somehow this, combined with him punching “really hard” means he’s ready to fight crime.
Samantha: Elsewhere, the police arrive in an alley where Gaurdian has tied up a bunch of bank robbers and left them buried in bags of garbage, for some reason. Someone is going to have to clean up all that garbage now, Jimmy.
Catherine: Also the bank robbers are gonna stink up the cop cars. Also they might have suffocated. Why the garbage, Jimmy?
Samantha: Said Guardian climbs into the van where Winn is falling asleep at his computer. It was now that I remembered all the bullshit that the actor who plays Winn pulled at comic con. In short, he was really rude and mean to Kara/Lena shippers, and most of the cast thought it was hilarious. It was actually mean and unnecessary and then his “apologies” were actually just straight white boy whining because the fans wouldn’t let him act however he wants. So, if this recap has more rancor than usual, it’s because I’m still pissed. (M: Legit.) (C: Winn hate is back! Yay! My time to shine!)
Winn notices that Jimmy got shot (well, grazed) which means his suit is faulty because Winn can’t do anything right. He wants to tell Kara about it all because it’s too much for his little brain to handle on top of having to make Mon-El a suit. I wonder what Mon-El’s hero name is going to be since Superman is taken. Super Mayo? Super Bland? Super Whine? (M: Whatever it is, it will never live up to Supermayo.) Jimmy is annoyed that “that frat boy” wants to be a hero and while I don’t like Mon-El this is pretty rich coming from the man who has no experience or abilities beyond “I want.” Winn insists that the lying to Kara has to stop and Jimmy reluctantly agrees. Then he goes out for one more bad guy round because I guess that bullet graze doesn’t hurt at all?
DEO. M’gann is chilling in a cell that I don’t remember her being put in. She starts hearing voices and screams and bangs on the door of the cell. Alarms go off and Hank J’onn rushes down there as M’Gann starts hallucinating White Martians. She starts saying “Blood. Death. Beautiful War.” in martian and Hank J’onn tells her to stop. She screams, the glass shatters, and she collapses.
Cut to her unconscious in a hospital bed, while Alex and Hank J’onn talk about wtf could be wrong with her. Alex wonders if she could be faking because there doesn’t appear to be an obvious cause for what’s happening but Hank J’onn doesn’t think so. He also tries to pretend like he doesn’t care.
Some prison somewhere. Livewire is talking to a therapist in a cell. Oh man, this is a Livewire episode? Is it too late to tap out? We don’t even have an Cat Grant epicness to balance it out.
Mari: How and why is she the villain we’ve seen the most of? I hate it.
Catherine: Seriously! WHY do they keep bringing her back? Can I just clarify that she is not a main villain in the comics or anything? This is so bizarre.
Samantha: The therapist wants to talk about Supergirl but Livewire just babbles about frying people and then threatens therapist. Sorry lady, you’re probably about to die. I’m not sure why there isn’t a guard nearby but then we see one guard attack another guard as Livewire monologues so I guess it wouldn’t matter. The bad guard unlocks a cell and one inmate knocks her roommate inmate out. An escape plan is afoot! The guard and prisoner come into Livewires cell and kill the therapist lady. “Yum,” says Livewire. Ugh, I hate this villain.
Alex and Maggie are doing crime scene stuff in Livewire’s cell. In the background we hear Kara arguing with the guards about needing to get into the crime scene and Alex and Maggie place a bet on how long it’ll take her to get in. Kara literally strongarms her way past the guards and weirdly introduces herself to her sister and her sister’s girlfriend. I’m not sure why she didn’t come as Supergirl. Every time they remind us about the “Kara is a reporter!” plot it continues to not make a lot of sense and annoy me.
Catherine: For a second when she was off-screen, bullying her way through the reporters I had a teeny little hope that it was Lois Lane for some reason. I think I just really think they need to bring in Lois.
Samantha: Kara is super flustered and panicked about the escape and then leaves the scene after like 2 minutes so… cool. You definitely got what you needed, intrepid reporter!
There’s nothing physically wrong with her but her brain is gonna die in a few hours. Hank J’onn goes on a weird rant about how he isn’t the one hurting her which, okay, literally no one was thinking that buddy. Alex implores him to mind meld with her so they can see what’s wrong. He, validly, doesn’t want to give a White Martian his people’s memories or his “daughter’s smiles.” Oof. Then he says, “Let her drown in her own sins.” So. Again, valid but also yikes.
Police Parking Garage. Idk, a large group of police officers are chilling in a parking garage because that seems normal. The lights flicker and Livewire appears.
CatCo. Jimmy pours drinks and thanks Kara for coming. Kara is a mess over Livewire and having a nemesis. Jimmy literally says, “The city is not defenseless, Kara.” and it makes me want to smack him. At first I thought he was talking about Supergirl but he so totally probably talking about himself. Smug Jimmy is annoying. (C: SO annoying.) He then is all “You’re not the only hero in National City,” and I know he claims he’s doing it cause he wants to help but it always comes off that he’s Guardian for the glory. Kara obviously thinks he means Mon-El and Jimmy gets all self righteous again. He announces that Mon-El isn’t a hero and Kara, rightly, asks why Jimmy gets to decide that. They then see the news that Livewire has attacked and head off and omg seriously, wtf is Guardian gonna do against Livewire? No sense to be had.
Kara and Mon-El arrive at the parking garage and somehow it’s not actually Leslie Livewire? It’s the fake prison guard and the inmate who’s made to look like Livewire and also they both have her powers? Kara tells Mon-El to protect the officers while she attacks. Mon-El uses a car door to protect the cops while Supergirl somehow gets her ass kicked by these non-Livewires. Mon-El wants to help but Supergirl tells him to keep protecting the cops. Obviously he ignores her and jumps into the battle just in time for the Guardian to show up. Guardian actually gets the cops to safety, except for one who Mon-El accidentally almost gets electrocuted. Guardian saves him and Supergirl makes the pipes spray water, so the non-Livewire’s bounce. Supergirl yells at Mon-El and then they notice that Guardian is hurt on the ground and rush over. Supergirl removes his helmet and sees that it’s James! Oh man! The tension!
Mari: Wow, one scene after he couldn’t use his words she finds out! What a shocker.
Catherine: Was that a pun?
Samantha: I sure hope so.
DEO. Alex is checking Jimmy over while Mon-El prattles on about wanting a motorcycle. HOW is this idiot the love interest? Supergirl is pissed that everyone, sans Mon-El, knew about Guardian and didn’t tell her. Everyone vacates the room so that Jimmy and Kara can talk and she wants to know why. He tells her that he wants to help people and this feels the most right. “I was never meant to be in Superman’s shadow,” he says and there’s that ego again. Supergirl tells him that he’s human and breakable and stuff and Jimmy rants about Mon-El again which is beside the point. She tells him he’s not strong enough and he gets all hurt even though it’s an actual fact. He tells her it’s not her decision, which also true I guess, and Kara says that if he doesn’t stop she’ll make him stop. “You’re welcome to try,” he says dramatically and I laugh and laugh. If these two ever come to blows and Supergirl doesn’t immediately win I will be so mad.
Mari: Same. See, because they just decided to saddle Jimmy with this hero plot and we’ve never actually seen him capable of, like, anything, all his smugging around is all the more unbearable. It isn’t Supergirl’s decision if Jimmy wants to go out there and risk his life all the time because he’s got a super-sized ego, but having him take some morally righteous ground here is bullshit. Basically: SHUT UP, JIMMY.
Catherine: Jimmy’s whole Guardian thing would be so much more believable if he had ANY training or had showed any interest in becoming a hero before 5 minutes ago. This plot line came out of nowhere and while Jimmy is a fit guy the idea of him Batmanning around is ridiculous. Plus WHEN the fuck is he ever gonna work on the fucking magazine he’s supposed to be running?
Samantha: Alex and Hank J’onn are in a basement of the DEO or something. Hank J’onn admits that he can always feel how M’Gann is doing and Alex tells him that M’Gann saved him at the cost of her identity. Hank J’onn doesn’t want to forgive her because hate is his reason for living. (C: Same.) Alex tells him that forgiveness is something he does for himself, not for her.
Outside the DEO Kara catches up to Mon-El and tells him she she can’t trust him ’cause he’s so reckless. She point blank asks him if he likes her a few times and he acts like a jerk. She storms off to find Livewire.
Some warehouse somewhere. Livewire is strapped to a chair and some dude in a lab coat flicks a switch and Livewire screams for help. What? That sure felt disjointed. Should I know who this guy is already?
Mari: That, my dear, was the show trying a plot twist.
Samantha: DEO. Winn shows Supergirl, Mon-El, and Hank J’onn surveillance footage from the prison. It shows that Livewire was actually kidnapped by the inmate and guard. No word on why it took super genius Winn so long to get this footage. He also is having trouble figuring out where Livewire is. Except, psych, after everyone leaves he calls Jimmy and gives him Livewire’s location???????? LITERALLY WHAT? AND WHY? Apparently Winn’s ego is so big he wants him and Jimmy to be the ones to catch Livewire to show Supergirl how big their penises are. What the fuck this is so stupid. Also, Mon-El was eavesdropping.
Mari: Not only stupid but completely out the little bit of character they’ve built for Winn. He was the one telling Jimmy to tell Kara and he was the one who thought this was a bad idea and he’s always the fidgety one when it comes to this whole operation. Now, he’s risking his standing at the DEO so he and Jimmy can have the glory? Hokay.
Catherine: He also JUST DID his whole “We can’t do this anymore” whiny schtick a few fucking scenes ago. Fucking Winn. You are the human equivalent of a traffic jam.
Samantha: Alright. I walked away and did a charcoal face mask to find my zen.
In M’gann’s room they are waiting for her to die in Faith’s Coma Makeup when Hank J’onn has a totally surprising change of heart and decides to mind meld. Listen, I appreciate that they took the time to really examine how difficult this would be for J’onn. But I also never thought that he wouldn’t save her. He tells them that he’s going to have to relive deaths and the war and asks them both to stay with him. It’s actually very sweet.
Catherine: This part reminded me that I feel that J’onn and David Harewood’s acting are the most underrated part of this show.
Samantha: He mind melds and finds himself at a martian concentration camp. The CGI is bad but this is still pretty horrifying. M’Gann is kneeling nearby in her human form even though you’d figure in a Martian Mind Meld they’d be their true selves. (M: Burning the budget on the background CGI, girl.) J’onn tries talking to her but she appears too deeply entrenched in the memory to realize that it’s not real. She set a fire at this camp and killed the other guards so that some Green Martians could go free and now she’s waiting to be found and killed. She begs J’onn to leave so they don’t find him. They wanted her to kill a child but she couldn’t so she killed her people. J’onn gives her the rundown about how she doesn’t die here and she starts to come back to herself. She apologizes for pretending to be a Green and they cry a little. J’onn holds her face and tells her that she is his friend and she’s forgiven.
Mari: Not sure how I feel about this? I mean, unsurprised. Again, they go with the path of least resistance. How do they make M’gann instantly more sympathetic and easier for J’onn to forgive? She rescued a kid, see! And we move on.
Catherine: It is pretty cheap. I literally shouted “That was it?” at my Netflix. That’s all he had to do to cure her? Agree to be her friend?
Samantha: Livewire is still strapped to the chair where the Mad Scientist is collecting her energy to create knock offs. Livewire bad acts that they could team up but Mad Scientist is not here for that. He wants to sell his super soldiers to all the militaries and calls her a “Nasty Woman.” Was that on purpose? Or am I too hyper-sensitive? I’ll put on my Planned Parenthood Nasty Woman shirt right now, show! An intruder alert goes off and the two knock-offs go to investigate and Guardian lamely ziplines in. (M: ZIPLINE LOL.)
He deflects the electricity with the awesome reflexes he got from years of taking pictures (C: DRAG HIM.) and goes to release Livewire. Mon-El busts through the window and rams into the knock offs. He introduces himself as “the other Superman” which is a TERRIBLE name. The Mad Scientist has just been chilling in the background and takes this moment to announce that he also has powers and zaps them.
After the not!commercial break, Winn radios over to Supergirl to be all “Lolz actually I did know where Livewire was and now the boys need saving.”
Warehouse. Livewire says, “You know what I love? Little boys who think they can do a better job than the woman who’s an actual superhero. It’s pathetic,” and it’s the only moment that I’ve ever loved her.
Mari: SAME. It also was like a AHA moment for why I hate these super-sub-plots anyway. It IS a bunch of little boys thinking they can do a better job than Kara. And one line to call it out, while appreciated, doesn’t actually make this better to watch.
Samantha: Said boys are chained up and when Mon-El tries to bust loose he gets zapped by the cuffs. Mad Scientist wants to pump the perfect idiot specimens full of Livewire’s juice. That sounds gross, sorry. He flicks the switch and Supergirl busts in, throws Mad Scientist, and frees the boys with her heat vision. Does Mon-El have the vision power too?
Catherine: He does in the comics. IDK if he does in the show.
Samantha: Supergirl freeze breaths Livewire out of her chair and the boys go after the knockoffs. Livewire immediately starts fighting Supergirl so I’m not sure why we didn’t leave her in the chair until all the other battling was over. Supergirl talks her into teaming up against Mad Scientist and the fighting continues. Guardian, Mon-El, and Supergirl take down the knock offs and then Supergirl notices that Livewire is about to kill Mad Scientist. She tells her that he should go to prison, but Livewire will only agree if she doesn’t have to go back to prison. Obvs Supergirl can’t promise that but she does say that she will maybe let Livewire get a head start out of here. Livewire agrees and zip zaps off. Supergirl decides to let her go today because it’s not like Livewire regularly murders innocent people or anything.
Samantha: Hank J’onn yells at Winn and then tells him that he and Jimmy are impressive which seems to negate the yelling a bit.
Mari: They somehow get to keep getting away with being terrible at this.
Samantha: Maggie and Alex ask Supergirl why she let Livewire go and blah blah there’s still good in her blah blah.
Mari: That’s cute that that line comes after I spent the whole recap complaining about how much i hate it dot com.
Catherine: Adorable. Of course we don’t disagree. This is trash.
Samantha: This was brought to you by a late recap panic that I was being too hard on the men of this episode. Which was, of course, silly.
They say that they want to work with her but Supergirl can’t support this. She won’t stop them though.
Catherine: I do like that they didn’t write her being grudgingly fine with it. I was worried that was what they were working around to in this ep.
Samantha: M’Gann’s hospital room where she’s wearing slightly less coma makeup. J’onn tells her that she’s free now and M’Gann tells him that it was a psychic attack against her. It was made by her people and they’re coming.
Kara’s apartment. Mon-El is waiting for her. He tells her that she was right, he remembers kissing her. He tells her that he didn’t mind that he was going to die because he got to kiss her. He tells her that he cares about her and that he knows she doesn’t feel the same way, which is okay if she keeps being his partner. They high five and he leaves. Kara looks conflicted.
Ugh. I didn’t like this episode. The men were so annoying, no one ever try and tell me it isn’t mostly about ego and glory for Winn and Jimmy and Mon-el. “Proving themselves to Kara” in this case is just another way of saying their dicks need stroking.
Samantha: Yes, yes it is.
Next time on Supergirl: J’onn protects M’gann in S01 E11 – The Martian Chronicles.