Previously: The boys thought they could be better than actual Supergirl.
The Martian Chronicles
Marines: Alien Bar. Kara walks in and spots Mon-El behind the bar. He quickly supplies her with a club soda and we can tell things are still #awkward since he confessed his feelings. Kara brings it up, and Mon-El kind of jokes that he’s been talking to some of the locals about it, and apparently Earth males are only supposed to express feelings about things like monster trucks. Kara quickly tells him that she appreciates his honestly, truly, but he was right about the fact that she doesn’t feel the sa4999me way. She starts babbling about how, for one, she has to focus on her totally legit reporter career. And for two, even if she wanted to date, she wouldn’t date someone like him. Kara tries to backtrack, but only manages to say that it’s not his job, but the way he is that sucks. I mean, I totally agree with her, as we’ve made clear, but you gotta wonder what exactly her game plan was in coming here. Round two of rejection?
Samantha: Her very valid point of “you kinda suck” is going to be so undercut when she eventually gets with him, I’m sure. Did I actually stumble into an After recap?
Catherine: Oh god I hope not.
Mari: Mon-El leaves, and Alex joins Kara at the bar. Kara tells her about Mon-El’s confession. Alex hits her with a #duh.
Catherine: Honestly, I feel like Alex pulled a total dick move here. Kara’s Earth Birthday (which is essentially just her birthday) is on the same day every year. They celebrate it together every year. Did Alex think that was going to suddenly change? No, she just forgot because she has a girlfriend now and people that ditch friends and family for new relationships are the wooooorst. Also, Barenaked Ladies…… really?
Mari: M’gann is next up to visit Kara, as she’s back at work now that she’s done drowning in her mind tragedy, or whatnot. Kara asks for something strong. In fact, she wants to drink whatever Mon-El is drinking. M’gann says that he’s actually been drinking club soda only for a whole week because he ~*changing*~. Kara gives him another look.
Samantha: Isn’t he actually a prince or something? Currently love story trajectory is that Kara finds out he’s a liar just as he wins her over with all his change.
Catherine: I think we predicted that he is really the prince that he was supposedly trying to save when he came to earth. Or they already said that? I can’t remember. It would take me retaining anything about this show and lol. No.
Mari: Yeah, we saw an alien bow to him and we assumed he’s the prince. The show has neither confirmed nor denied. I think. We try our best.
M’gann goes outside to throw away the trash and she hears some rattling form the alley. She tells whoever that she knows he’s there and he was also an old woman and a little boy earlier that day. The guy in the alley transforms into Hank J’onn and he admits that yeah, he’s been shapeshifting and lightly stalking her. But only because he’s waiting for the White Martians to arrive and not because he doesn’t trust her, or anything. M’gann still doesn’t like it and says the White Martians are coming but they aren’t there yet, so he can quit it.
In order to best justify his stalkerish behavior, hark! A monster shows up just then! It easily swats Hank J’onn aside. M’gann gets all Martian-y, but before she can do anything, J’onn is back on on his feet and starts attacking. A second later, Supergirl joins the fight. She fires her heat vision at the alien, but stops to get a sassy line in, providing the alien plenty of time to get away. Supergirl flies after him and they crash into a building and cause some structural damage. The alien gets away.
DEO. Winn is analyzing pictures of the alien. Supergirl joins him and says she wasn’t sure he’d be there as he might’ve been off Guardian-ing or whatever. Supergirl says that she’s just worried about him, seeing as how he was beat up and almost killed a couple episodes ago. She furiously whispers that she realizes that James thinks he has a calling, but Winn must see how crazy this is. Winn asks if maybe she ever considered the fact that he has a calling too. If he means helping superheros, hasn’t he been doing that all along…?
Catherine: Winn sucks. His only calling is calling 911 after he gets his dick stuck in a toaster.
Mari: Also, this whole I’M A HERO, DAMMIT. I HAVE A CALLING thing is weird. I think it could be something to consider, much in the way Doctor Who sometimes thinks about the effect traveling with the Doctor has on companions. It puts them in danger, it makes them crave a bigger life. Suddenly, going back to their lives, if they even make it there, doesn’t seem plausible. Had they gone the route of exploring the effect being near Supergirl has on her human friends, I would’ve accepted that better than Jimmy deciding he has like some kind of divine right and calling to prance around the city, pretending he’s got anything more than access to super suit. Go help a soup kitchen, my dudes.
Samantha: This is not super relevant but it’s why I get annoyed with Batman. Like. You do not have super powers. There are a million more productive ways to help people than punching random bad guys. As The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne Valente iterated: You just want an excuse to punch people and feel big.
Mari: Please read The Refrigerator Monologues.
Hank J’onn breaks up their argument and asks for information on the alien. Winn says the alien is hard to track, but he’s on it. Hank J’onn says he’ll get busy prepping a strike team. Supergirl suggests that he stay at the DEO for protection. M’gann enters just in time to say that the White Martians aren’t here for J’onn. They are here for her. They want her to pay for her war crimes and they are telling her this psychically. Apparently she came all this way to announce that, insist that she doesn’t need protection, and leave. Okay, girl.
Samantha: Wow, the theme of this episode so far is people arriving places with sketchy motives.
Mari: Alien Bar. M’gann is working when a man enters that I guess gives her the heebie jeebies because everything goes into slow motion? Oh, actually, she recognizes this guy as a Martian. And not only a Martian, but her Martian-equivalent of an ex-husband. And he’s pissed on account of she almost killed him. Everyone on Mars is pissed. They want her dead more than they want J’onn J’onzz dead, and he’s looking forward to murdering her face off. M’gann says she won’t go back ever, ever and to really drive home what a bad dude he is, he creeps on about how awesome Mars is because of genocide. M’gann says she’s not scared of him, so he takes to threatening her friends, J’onn and Supergirl. He gives her two hours to turn herself in so that he’ll consider not killing her friends. Girl, that’s not even a guarantee.
After a not!break, we see M’gann leaving the bar that night. Hank J’onn is waiting for her in the alley again. M’gann is planning to run away and save her friends the potential danger. Hank J’onn gives her a heartfelt speech about how awesome friends are and how ineffectual running away is. M’gann buys it.
Alex’s apartment. Maggie can tell that she’s not terribly excited about this concert. Alex tries to play it off like she’s just distracted because she thinks she hurt Kara’s feelings. Maggie tells her to just go talk to her sister and they’ll meet up at the concert.
Samantha: I mean get it together one way or another, Alex.
Catherine: I feel like you guys aren’t paying true homage to this scene. It starts out with a Barenaked Ladies song that plays throughout the scene. Both women are wearing Barenaked Ladies shirts. They talk about the Barenaked Ladies as if they’re a good band and this is a cool thing to be doing. I swear to god, up until this point I thought that they were kidding about the concert but now I think this side plot is art. In the sense that art is supposed to make you feel something and I feel terrible. I haven’t seen human beings care this much about the mid-90’s Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies since that one episode of Community.
Mari: DEO. Apparently Alex put on her DEO uniform to come talk to her sister. I guess that’s easier than trying to figure out what to wear? But then is she wearing her DEO uniform to the concert? That’s weird. Sorry. I’ll stop questioning this little detail. (C: No. They were gonna wear concert tees OF THE BAND. Which is the NERDIEST shit you can do.) Alex asks Supergirl if they are okay because she totally bailed and now she feels guilty for “wanting to have fun.” Uh, RUDE Alex. That implies you wouldn’t have had fun with your sister, like damn. (S: Ouch. Would not recommend.) Supergirl says it’s fine, she was just acting immature and everything it totally fine I promise! Using your words is best, but also, this is exactly what I would’ve done. Really, I would’ve gone with the classic, “why would I be angry?” because don’t do something shitty to me (whether or not it was intentionally shitty) and then make me do the emotional labor of having to explain shittiness when you know it’s shitty or else you wouldn’t be here. /passive aggressive bitch (S: Valid passive aggressive though.) (C: I fully support this.)
Supergirl and Alex join Winn at the main console. He doesn’t have much of an update, but then Hank J’onn and M’gann join them. Winn gets up to give M’gann the rundown on what they know so far, but then M’gann walks in and ruh-roh! They got tricked. Fake M’gann and Hank J’onn start fighting while Supergirl protects real M’gann and Alex points her useless gun around uselessly. The fight is real dramatic because Hank J’onn slams Fake M’gann into the TVs and it causes all the light to go out? And in the moment of darkness, Fake M’gann disappears. Hank J’onn puts the building on lockdown, which is a good idea for making sure he doesn’t get out, except that now they are trapped in this building with the White Martian. And also, it could be anyone. Everyone looks at each other suspiciously.
Catherine: I am not here for this Murder on the Orient Express shit. When they said “It could be anyone ” I literally boo’ed my TV.
Mari: Everyone gathers around a table and starts trying to think of ways to know who the White Martian is. Not by asking personal questions because it can read minds. (S: Am I crazy for thinking they should start by looking for whoever it knocked unconscious’ body?) J’onn can’t scan their thoughts because there is some psychic interference. One of the Extra Agents sees another one of the Extra Agents giving him what is legitimately a shady look. I will vouch for that. He pulls out his gun and starts losing his shit. Hank J’onn has to yell at everyone to calm down a couple of times before he thinks of a way to out the White Martian.
In another room, the gang lights a bunsen burner. Hank J’onn explains in a super gravelly voice that there was a time when Green Martians were hiding from White Martians in caves. They set up a system where everyone who entered had to run their hand by fire. M’gann demonstrates what this does by putting her hand up to the flame. Her human skin disappears and reveals her white Martian skin underneath. (C: But…? She’s a green Martian now…?Because of the transfusion.) The boy Extra Agent says Extra Agent Vazquez should go first, since she was so quick to deny her White Martian-ness. She does, and she isn’t. Boy Extra Agent goes next and he isn’t. Hank J’onn takes a long time to go because he’s scared of the fire? (S: He’s The Hound! Ahh! …sorry the paranoia of the episode got to me.) (C: He has a canonical fear of fire and he is also The Hound, yes.) M’gann gives him a pep talk in Martian and he finally does it. He’s clear.
Supergirl suggets that Winn goes next and he gives a, “what me?” so we know it’s him. And sure enough, Fake Winn grabs the bunsen burner and attacks. He manages to get Hank J’onn in a hold and threatens him for a very long time with the fire, allowing Supergirl to use her freezer breath. Fake Winn runs out and literally escapes on foot, even though Supergirl can fly and has super speed and they are literally in a locked building. But okay.
After another not!break, Supergirl wonders why Ex-Husband would blow up the building when he’s in there too. M’gann says he would proudly give his life to complete his mission. In taking Winn’s form, Ex-Husband also took all of his intelligence (C: So it’s not all bad news) and re-coded the whole system. They need the real Winn back to stop the explosion. M’gann says that Winn must still be in the building because Ex-Husband would need to maintain the psychic link. They break up into groups to search for him.
Supergirl and Alex search the basement, but actually they only kind of walk around and start to have sister chats. Supergirl admits that she was mad before because her feelings were hurt. Alex knew it, but she also doesn’t want to feel bad for spending time with Maggie. Supergirl doesn’t want her to, but also, this is an adjustment for her because she’s used to always having Alex there. She has abandonment issues and doesn’t want to go through that again. Alex promises not to abandon her ever. Just bail on her for special events. They hear a crash and finally decide to actually investigate.
M’gann and Hank J’onn are teamed up, also not actually trying to stop the building from blowing up, but having Martian chats. M’gann apologizes for putting them all in danger. Hank J’onn says that’s nonsense. It’s not only that it’s their duty to protect her, but also she’s become dear to him. He’s had a big hole in his heart and she’s filled it, even though she is a White Martian. Hank promises to protect M’gann forever. And then M’gann notices something weird on the wall so they actually investigate.
They find Winn is up on the ceiling, wrapped in some kind of alien web. They follow the web to another location and find something shocking. Hank J’onn calls Supergirl on… a communicator?… and tells her they were wrong because there are 2 White Martians in the building. The other one shape-shifted into Alex. We see on his end that real Alex is in a alien web. Wow, that was some acting work by fake Alex to go into deep sister chats that way. (S: White Martians are….softies? Underneath the genocide? What?) Fake Alex calls Supergirl so dumb and hits her. They start fighting. I hate the fighting scenes so much because there is like a 10 second pause between every punch were they just stare at each other. THIS IS V POOR FIGHTING.
Catherine: Also, we’ve seen the whole ‘Alex is possessed/under some influence and fighting Kara’ thing, if I’m not mistaken THREE FUCKING TIMES in two seasons. THREE. We’ve done this, show. I was honestly more interested in Kara fighting Winn and not just because I like to see Winn get punched.
Mari: Hank J’onn smacks Winn until he comes to. It’s my favorite part of the episode so far. (S: YES.) Once he’s up, they explain everything quickly. Winn says he can’t shut down the reactor remotely. He has to go to the reactor room. M’gann volunteers to stay with Alex, who is still unsteady.
Supergirl and Fake Alex keep fighting, Fake Alex getting digs in about how whiney Supergirl is. There are still long pauses between punches.
Hank J’onn and Winn get to the reactor room as Winn says it’ll be easy to work on, as long as he can focus. But there is a Supergirl0alien fight going on. And soon, Ex-Husband appears for an Ex and New Man fight. Winn gets to work amid the violence. Hank J’onn gets knocked down but then M’gann struts in in her Green Martian skin. Ex-Husband tells her she looks like a monster before shifting into his monster skin. Hank J’onn and M’gann team up on Ex-Husband. We watch this happen for a bit before Supergirl finally can easily punch the alien out, even though she couldn’t like five minutes ago. And then M’gann stabs Ex-Husband in the back of the neck with some metal.
Catherine: For the love of god, just go to your terrible concert, Alex.
Mari: Back upstairs, Hank J’onn takes the building off lock down. Winn can’t believe it’s still night time because the whole ordeal felt like it lasted one week. This reminds Alex about her concert and she runs off to call Maggie. Supergirl tells Winn that he did a great job. He says he’s going to go see if James needs his help, unless she objects. She just tells him to be safe and just like that she’s alone.
We join M’gann and Hank J’onn. She’s telling him that he’s reminded her what it’s like to have a family, but she has to leave anyway. She’s going to Mars to start the White Martian Resistance. She has to try. Hank J’onn says nothing and M’gann walks away.
Super Pad. Kara is watching TV on her couch when there is a knock on her door. She uses her x-ray vision and sees that it’s Alex, holding a cupcake. Kara opens, and Alex wishes her a happy Earth birthday. Inside, Alex admits that she has some hazy memories of Kara talking to the White Martian. Kara admits that that was real. She just made all those big plans for Earth Birthday because she felt Alex slipping away. Alex tells her she never will, but also asks if maybe the big plans were also partially avoidance. The Mon-El thing seems to be confusing her. Kara admits that it is, especially because every time she puts herself out there, it either backfires or the writers decide to pretend it never happened. Alex encourages her to take the romantic risk.
Samantha: Don’t worry, Kara. This show loves ambiguous retcon.
Catherine: SO much.
Mari: Back at the DEO again, Hank J’onn finds M’gann standing on one of the balconies. She can beam up to her Ex-Husband’s ship. M’gann says she has feelings for J’onn too. He’s changed her. And then they do a forehead to forehead touch that reminds me of the coneheads.
Anyway, M’gann leaves.
The next day at CatCo, Kara is walking into work and sees Mol-El walking out with a girl. Kara says hi and he explains that he’s going to lunch with this girl, because OF COURSE. Man, I hate this cheap episode to episode “tension.” We last one episode after Kara learns that Mon-El likes her with her coming to terms with her feelings and then by the end, he’s done something that means she won’t say anything about it. It’s CHEAP. CHEAP, I SAY. Also, Mon-El is a jerk. I mean, when the girl runs off to grab something, he tells Kara that she rejected him, and while that’s true, showing up to Kara’s job to recruit a new date is a JERK move. He jokes about moving on and ha ha ha gotta swipe right until you find the one. Kara is clearly hurt and uncomfortable and that’s what we end on.
Full episode watched and the part where Winn got slapped was definitively the best moment. (C: 100%)
Next time on Supergirl: Kara fights for her girl Lena in S01 E12 – Luthors.