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Marines

Charmed S03 E09 – The Blood of Dwight Schrute

by Marines May 17, 2017 Charmed
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Pretty Little Liars S05 E17 – Splitting up saves lives

by Marines May 16, 2017 Pretty Little Liars
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We start off in Caleb’s hacker apartment, with the “suspicious storage unit was rented in Hanna’s name” plot point. Caleb and Spencer are convinced that the barrel they found in there contains Mona’s body, without, you know, having looked inside it. Maybe they’ve been reading the Rosewood LOLPD manual on how to investigate potential crime scenes.

Marines: They also haven’t been paying enough attention to their lives to figure out that whatever they think happened is 100% not what happened.

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A Series of Unfortunate Event S01 E07 – Destroyed.

by Marines May 11, 2017 Uncategorized
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New two-parter = new credits! NPH sings, “the lumber mill is where the Baudelaires are forced to work, the eye doctor is sinister, the owner is a jerk, they end up in a fiendish plot with logs and hypnotism, the very thought of watching should be met with skepticism.”

Look away, look away, etc.

New dedication to Beatrice: my love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.

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Supergirl S02 E06 – Really good crying.

by Marines May 4, 2017 Season 2
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We start in Svalbaro, Norway at the Thorul Arctic Research Center. A lady scientist finds a Dr. Jones, as there is something he needs to see. Dr. Jones is played by William Mapother, who has guest starred in a bunch of stuff, was on Lost and is Tom Cruise’s little cousin. (C: I wouldn’t put that particular detail on my resume.) We cut to a lab where there is a dead wolf on a table. The lady scientist explains that they found an arrowhead in it, dating back to 3000 B.C. Dr. Jones kind of waves off the discovery, as they are climate change experts not archaeologists, but lady scientist invites Dr. Jones to touch the dead wolf. Despite having been trapped under the ice for 5,000 years, the wolf is warm.

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Doctor Who S05 E03 – Heil Dalek

by Marines May 3, 2017 Doctor Who
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This is the first episode of Doctor Who that I get to recap, and I’m so psyched to join the team that I won’t even complain about it involving stupid Daleks.

Marines: That’s a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!

Kirsti: I’m super happy to have you too because it means I have to recap fewer episodes of the Matt Smith era!! 

Dani: #Priorities

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After Chapter 34 – Chamomile tea is not enough.

by Marines May 2, 2017 Uncategorized
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You can stop sweating with anxiety, dear readers! Hardin goes over to the dresser and pulls out a pair of blue and white boxers that are apparently hideous. (M: How hideous can they be without cartoon characters or something on them? What’s happening?) Tessa notes that Hardin’s soon to be step mom or father must have bought clothes for him to have here. Hardin leaves the room to change because it’s really nice to have privacy and stuff and to feel comfortable and IT WOULD REALLY SUCK IF SOMEONE FORCEFULLY TOOK THAT AWAY FROM SOMEONE. Ahem.

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After Chapter 33 – Stomach Ache

by Marines May 2, 2017 After
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Hardin’s eyes are on fire (“blazing”) as he pulls Tessa onto the bed and on top of him. Tessa is straddling him, which she’s done before, but now she’s straddling him with very little clothing on. She stays up on her knees so they aren’t touching but “Hardin isn’t having it,” and he pulls her all the way down. Because clearly what Hardin’s having is the only thing on the menu.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E06 – Always without their stuff.

by Marines April 27, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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Look away, look away!

We start with the kids standing in front of the wide window, reading Josephine’s suicide note. What we thought was a grammatical error previously turns out to be a few errors. Dowadger instead of dowager. Leadle instead of lead. But perhaps the worst thing of all is that the end of the letter says that Josephine is leaving the kids in the care of Captain Sham. We fade from Violet saying that it can’t be, to Lemony in the nearer present, in front of the ruins of Josephine’s house. Lemony says that when you lose someone close to you, “it can’t be” are often the words that run through your saddened head.

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E16 – Sorry, I’m in an air duct.

by Marines April 27, 2017 Pretty Little Liars
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Welcome back to Rosewood everyone! The previouslies remind us that Holbrook is helping Ali, some rando named Johnny is staying in Spencer’s guest house, Hanna’s mom hooked up with Jason, Spencer and Toby are not on the same evidence page, and Annoying Aria wrote a fake admissions letter to trick her sleazy boyfriend’s ex into getting her into college. Honestly, the previouslies were packed with lots of stuff, which is weird because I don’t remember lots of stuff happening on this show, so we’ll figure it out as we go, okay?

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Doctor Who S05 E02 – Because the government is up to some shady shit.

by Marines April 26, 2017 Doctor Who
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he camera pans over a floating city, with the Union flag painted next to it. We pan over the buildings, many of which are illuminated with the names of counties.

Cut to a school room where all the kids are in 1950s style outfits, sitting at 1950s style desks. A robotic voice praises each of them in turn as they head out the door. One boy hangs back reluctantly. (M: Yeah, boy. I wouldn’t walk up close to that robotic voice either.) A girl gives him a “what are you waiting for?” expression before heading out. He’s the last in the classroom.

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Chamed S03 E08 – Oblivious.

by Marines April 26, 2017 Charmed
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We start in the Halliwell kitchen with Prue and Piper working on a potion to vanquish Belthazor. Piper’s getting a little squeamish about the ingredients, but this mostly serves as an opportunity to exposit that they got a slice of Belthazor flesh last episode and should be able to vanquish him now.

Prue calls for Phoebe, but Piper says their little sister is not in a vanquishing mood because she’s worried about Cole. She hasn’t heard from him in a week. HMMM. SUSPICIOUS TIMING.

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Supergirl S02 E05 – Gun control

by Marines April 24, 2017 Season 2
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Hey, so it’s been a while! I don’t really know why. I do know that I always see people squeeing about this show on Twitter, and I’m not sure if it’s because it’s gotten better in season two or if we are seriously not watching the same show.

Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it’s amazing. I’m so bored. What are we missing? 

Samantha: Maybe it’s one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?

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Designated Survivor S01 E11 – Untrustworthy acting.

by Marines April 20, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We start where we left off, with Hannah making her way through the crowd, looking for the shooter. She pulls out her gun, someone yells “gun,” there is sudden, general chaos, Hanna fires at the window. Her bullet hits the window frame and the sniper is still able to fire his own bullet. Secret Service agents take Hannah down. Tom pushes Alex down to safety. He looks at her and notices that there is blood on her shirt. He tells her she’s been shot, but the blood isn’t hers. It’s his. Tom looks at his shoulder and he’s like, “oh shit.”

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Doctor Who S05 E01 – It’s definitely new.

by Marines April 19, 2017 Doctor Who
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I remember portions of this episode very vividly. I think I took a break between the end of Ten’s tenure and the beginning of Eleven; enough of one that watching this episode felt like jumping into a new experience in more ways than just the changes that came with it. I stopped watching Doctor Who with Matt Smith because we started this recapping project, and I figured I’d catch up to more recent seasons when we got there to recap. I was young and optimistic and thought that would be sooner rather than later. lol.

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After Chapter 32 – Hardin is the Kool-Aid Man.

by Marines April 18, 2017 After
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Okay well here I go. To recap Tessa and Hardin alone in a room at night again. With sex implications in the terribly written text. Alright. Here we go. Oh, wait, man, have I asked how you all are recently? Anything new?

Marines: Just rip the bandaid off, girl. This garbage fire has 90-something chapters.

Samantha: …….fine. According to my Kindle app we’re only 26% done.

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