Sweet Valley High

Meet Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Tan, blonde, All-American and blessed with perfect size six asses. If you read any of these books when you were younger, chances are you remember Liz being perfect and Jess being fun. How cute to be young and naive.

Liz is actually a nosey doormat and Jess is a psychopath. With that in mind, join the Snark Ladies as they navigate the world of Sweet Valley High, a place where there is a dance every week, people get kidnapped all the time, comas are not quite as rare as you’d imagine, and we call on the Youth Mauling Bear to come regulate quite often. Because they deserve it.

Sweet Valley High #001 “Double Love” – Welcome to Sweet Valley Cry thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #002 “Secrets” – When men growl thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #003 “Playing With Fire” – And seven other things more fun than reading this book. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #004 “Power Play” – Or how Jess and Liz destroyed a whole human being. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #005 “All Night Long” – Or how bears are never there to eat bitches when you need them. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #006 “Dangerous Love” – Or how a motorcycle accident can spice this shit up. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #007 “Dear Sister” – Coma! Coma! Coma! thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #008 “Heart Breaker” – Or great. Now Mariah Carey is stuck in my head. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #009 Racing Hearts – Or the one where poor people are almost as gross as fat people. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #010 “Wrong Kind of Girl” – Easy girls make things hard. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #011 “Too Good to be True” – Out creeping the creepster. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #012 “When Love Dies” – It’s my job to make fun of this, okay? thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #013 “Kidnapped” – It’s not as bad as you think. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #014 “Deceptions” – Possible crime. thumbnail
Sweet Valley High #015 “Promises” – Shared milk. thumbnail