Hello friends! Funny story, I first wrote (most of) this recap in February of 2015. Here, I’ll quote you the original opening for posterity’s sake:
It was always our intention to pick up another book to snark in 2015, but I’ve got to admit that having so many of you hanging around the Fifty Shades reviews recently made me really miss that project. I mean, not any of the actual words written in the book… except for maybe “floor the pedal to the medal” and “my mother was a crack whore, Anastasia. Now go to sleep.”
In 2013, Anna Todd started writing fan-fiction about the members of One Direction as college students, all from her Blackberry, probably all while she was on the pooper. It exploded in popularity and Simon and Schuster threw a six-figure deal at Anna to publish the garbage millions read for free. The trick was that it couldn’t be about Harry Styles anymore so now it’s about some wanker named Hardin. (See what she did there?)
Having little to no idea what they were in for, the Snark Ladies decided to see what the fuss was about, especially before the movie came out, (yes there is a movie deal…). What they found were the most maddeningly stupid chapter divisions, another douchey love interest in the vein of Edward and Christian, a main character who acts decidedly against her own interests, abuse hiding as romance, and so little plot that it hurts.