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BrainDead S01 E12 – Another Fine Mess

by Dani Denatti December 2, 2016 BrainDead
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Our singing recapper (aka THE BEST THING EVER) (M: I’m gonna miss it so much) tells us what happened last week:

We begin with Luke telling Laurel about the bug briefing he got from Bob Isenstadt, the grandfatherly “Director’s Director” of the CIA. Laurel is rightfully suspicious, but Luke thinks she should be happy because this means she was right all along, and now the professionals will handle the crisis. He tells her she has to back off and let the CIA do their job.

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Designated Survivor S01 E07 – Health Inspector Tom

by Marines December 1, 2016 Designated Survivor
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We pick up right where we left off, with the FBI examining Nassar’s dead body. Atwood instructs some soldiers to bring him the names of anyone who handled his food, DNA, fingerprints and camera footage. Atwood then walks to Hannah and very shiftily comments that now no one knows the truth about Nassar. Hannah’s like, “uh, we do…?” But they don’t have proof. Hannah says they need to follow-up with the one lead they have: Catalan. Atwood is scared, though, because if they are the only two who know about Catalan, that means they’ll be targeted next.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E02 – That girl with the Daisy Dukes on.

by Marines December 1, 2016 Gilmore Girls
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Lorelai and Rory are sitting on the porch. Lorelai is painting Rory’s toenails red while she squirts whipped cream into her mouth. Lorelai tells Rory that she’s starting private school the next day and private school girls are bad girls and bad girls wear red polish. She clearly subscribes to Bad Girl Styling school of thought. Lorelai asks if Rory is nervous about starting Chilton. Rory jokes that she wasn’t until she heard all about these bad girls.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E01 – Emotional music and boy banter.

by Marines November 28, 2016 Gilmore Girls
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This past weekend the Gilmore Girls revival premiered on Netflix. Why not choose this moment to start our journey from the very beginning?

A title card and jaunty yet dated music bring us to a street in the quaint town of Stars Hollow.

Annie: I know it’s early for me to be already interrupting, but Pilot!Stars Hollow was filmed in a small town near Toronto. I visited it last year and all these years later, it really, really looks like Stars Hollow to me. (Sorry, sorry, sorry).

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Designated Survivor S01 E06 – #NotMyPresident

by Dani Denatti November 26, 2016 Designated Survivor
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After the previouslies, we’re taken to a prison filled with heavily armed soldiers. An orange-clad prisoner, his limbs shackled and a black sack over his head, is escorted down many, many hallways in slow motion. Eventually the dude is put in a cell and the bag is removed from his head, but even then the cameraman is weirdly coy about showing us the prisoner’s face. We know from both the previouslies and the cheater-y newscaster voiceover that the prisoner is Majid Nassar, so the super-suspenseful music and dramatic buildup to reveal his face, like everything else on this show, makes zero sense. But, hey — at least it’s consistent!

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E15 – Weird or bad acting?

by Marines November 17, 2016 Pretty Little Liars
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Prison or something. Officer Toby walks up to the front desk and shiftily hands the lady something from Lieutenant Tanner. He hangs around, though, after he’s completed this task so I’m not sure if we’re supposed to understand that Tanner didn’t really send him or that he’s horrible at dropping papers off. (S: It was the weirdest. Why is the acting direction always “make this mundane task as disconcerting as possible”?)(J: Maybe he’s just been in this show so long he doesn’t know how to NOT do it that way.)

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The OC S04 E12 – Operation: Hot Mess

by Savannah Solis November 14, 2016 Season 4
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I am back, babyyyyyyyyyy.

I also want to preface this by saying that as of now, I am on season 2 episode 5 of The OC. While last time I posted I hadn’t seen any of it, so I’d say I’m making a solid effort here folks. And once again, the “previously on” was v helpful but in the opposite way because I don’t know who half of these people are. ALSO, CHRIS PRATT????? I was so oblivious, y’all.

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Designated Survivor S01 E05 -The Snark Lady soundtrack.

by Samantha November 4, 2016 Designated Survivor
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The episode begins with Tom lying awake in bed at 5 am. He receives a phone call that it’s time.

In the Oval, the Admiral is going over plans to bomb the compound where Nassar is. He assures Tom that they only hit what they target so a nearby village should be safe. Seth comes in because he was summoned, but only so that they don’t tell him anything so that he’s not lying to the press. Seth mentions that it would be weird if the President wasn’t at the medal ceremony for the first responders, especially as there’s no VP to fill in.

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E14 – Throw away the wrapper.

by Kirsti November 3, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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t’s senior ski trip time! And therefore one of the Snark Ladies’ favourite episodes of this often terrible but weirdly endearing show. We open with Gretchen dropping Pacey and Joey off at school, and informing them that senior ski trip is usually batshit crazy – on her class trip, someone got pregnant, someone got arrested, and someone’s hair caught on fire. Joey gets “SAVE ME NOW” face. Pacey promises to watch out for her hair. As they turn to go, Gretchen pulls Joey aside and suggests she give Dawson a call over the weekend.

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Supergirl S02 E02 – Hot and problem solve-y.

by Catherine October 29, 2016 Season 1
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[…]

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Designated Survivor S01 E04 – Cool way to government.

by Marines October 26, 2016 Designated Survivor
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Telegraphed Middle Eastern Location. Things are dusty. A man runs up a narrow staircase into a dusty room where he grabs a laptop and a phone and uses them to securely connect. He nervously types as quickly as he can, as more men are now running up the narrow staircase. We see that part of Nervous Man’s message is that Nassar’s, the guy who sent America the IT WAS ME message last episode, location has been confirmed.

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BrainDead S01 E11 – The Little Spoon

by Dani Denatti October 20, 2016 BrainDead
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Our dear recapper just can’t even with this show anymore, so this week’s “previously on” song has him switching it up and giving us a recap of Gunsmoke.

I hear ya, recapper guy. Extremist alien-baby was tough to stomach.

Marines: Do we say that each new recap song is our favorite, because no really. THIS ONE is my favorite. 1- because of the way he starts off trying to recap in uncertain terms, 2- because I AM THAT STRESSED OUT TOO, 3- lol Gunsmoke, and 4- the doctor taking a pulse and shaking his head. Amazing.

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Supergirl S02 E01 – We’re on the CW now.

by Samantha October 19, 2016 Season 1
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Hello and welcome to the second season! We really appreciate those of you that have stuck with us this far!

Marines: I like this grand announcement as if we didn’t finish season one last week. But, like, yeah. Welcome back!

Catherine: How are you guys? It’s been SO long…

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E13 – The Perils of Underage Dating

by Chelsea October 14, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Welcome back, dear readers. Hopefully this episode will bring us way less emotional abuse!

Leery’s Worst Restaurant Name. Gail is upset because Gretchen in taking personal calls at work, instead of doing her job and getting more wine.

Kirsti: I’ve had bosses crack the sads at me for even touching my phone at work, so the idea of Gretchen taking personal calls (ON THE WORK LANDLINE NO LESS!) is baffling to me.

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Designated Survivor S01 E03 – #BogusPOTUS

by Dani Denatti October 13, 2016 Designated Survivor
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Dani: We begin at the site of the Capitol explosion, where a survivor has been found in the rubble. Hannah (Maggie Q) rushes over, obviously hoping it’s the guy she’s been brooding over for the last two episodes, but it’s not. Poor Maggie Q. I wish the writers would give her something to do other than have reactions to stuff.

Samantha: It’s unbelievable wasted potential. I should not keep forgetting that Maggie Q is in this show.

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