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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E06 – Always without their stuff.

by Marines April 27, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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Look away, look away!

We start with the kids standing in front of the wide window, reading Josephine’s suicide note. What we thought was a grammatical error previously turns out to be a few errors. Dowadger instead of dowager. Leadle instead of lead. But perhaps the worst thing of all is that the end of the letter says that Josephine is leaving the kids in the care of Captain Sham. We fade from Violet saying that it can’t be, to Lemony in the nearer present, in front of the ruins of Josephine’s house. Lemony says that when you lose someone close to you, “it can’t be” are often the words that run through your saddened head.

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E16 – Sorry, I’m in an air duct.

by Jessica April 27, 2017 Pretty Little Liars
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Welcome back to Rosewood everyone! The previouslies remind us that Holbrook is helping Ali, some rando named Johnny is staying in Spencer’s guest house, Hanna’s mom hooked up with Jason, Spencer and Toby are not on the same evidence page, and Annoying Aria wrote a fake admissions letter to trick her sleazy boyfriend’s ex into getting her into college. Honestly, the previouslies were packed with lots of stuff, which is weird because I don’t remember lots of stuff happening on this show, so we’ll figure it out as we go, okay?

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Doctor Who S05 E02 – Because the government is up to some shady shit.

by Kirsti April 26, 2017 Doctor Who
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he camera pans over a floating city, with the Union flag painted next to it. We pan over the buildings, many of which are illuminated with the names of counties.

Cut to a school room where all the kids are in 1950s style outfits, sitting at 1950s style desks. A robotic voice praises each of them in turn as they head out the door. One boy hangs back reluctantly. (M: Yeah, boy. I wouldn’t walk up close to that robotic voice either.) A girl gives him a “what are you waiting for?” expression before heading out. He’s the last in the classroom.

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Chamed S03 E08 – Oblivious.

by Marines April 26, 2017 Charmed
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We start in the Halliwell kitchen with Prue and Piper working on a potion to vanquish Belthazor. Piper’s getting a little squeamish about the ingredients, but this mostly serves as an opportunity to exposit that they got a slice of Belthazor flesh last episode and should be able to vanquish him now.

Prue calls for Phoebe, but Piper says their little sister is not in a vanquishing mood because she’s worried about Cole. She hasn’t heard from him in a week. HMMM. SUSPICIOUS TIMING.

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Supergirl S02 E05 – Gun control

by Catherine April 24, 2017 Season 2
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Hey, so it’s been a while! I don’t really know why. I do know that I always see people squeeing about this show on Twitter, and I’m not sure if it’s because it’s gotten better in season two or if we are seriously not watching the same show.

Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it’s amazing. I’m so bored. What are we missing? 

Samantha: Maybe it’s one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E15 – Minisodes of Plot Development

by Chelsea April 21, 2017 Dawson's Creek
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I have always hated that this episode follows one of the best episodes of teen virginity loss in the history of recorded television. This episode is essentially four minisodes all crammed together, none of them particularly interesting.

Kirsti: #ACCURATE. This episode is a snoozefest and I just need the whole thing to be Pacephine adorableness rather than whatever the hell this mess is. 

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Designated Survivor S01 E11 – Untrustworthy acting.

by Dani Denatti April 20, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We start where we left off, with Hannah making her way through the crowd, looking for the shooter. She pulls out her gun, someone yells “gun,” there is sudden, general chaos, Hanna fires at the window. Her bullet hits the window frame and the sniper is still able to fire his own bullet. Secret Service agents take Hannah down. Tom pushes Alex down to safety. He looks at her and notices that there is blood on her shirt. He tells her she’s been shot, but the blood isn’t hers. It’s his. Tom looks at his shoulder and he’s like, “oh shit.”

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Doctor Who S05 E01 – It’s definitely new.

by Marines April 19, 2017 Doctor Who
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I remember portions of this episode very vividly. I think I took a break between the end of Ten’s tenure and the beginning of Eleven; enough of one that watching this episode felt like jumping into a new experience in more ways than just the changes that came with it. I stopped watching Doctor Who with Matt Smith because we started this recapping project, and I figured I’d catch up to more recent seasons when we got there to recap. I was young and optimistic and thought that would be sooner rather than later. lol.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E05 – Married to the sea.

by Dani Denatti April 17, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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New guardian means new credits! This time we’re told that this guardian is wracked with fear and panic and they end up on a boat that might as well be the Titanic. (S: Meanwhile I overthink where a Titanic reference puts us in time.) So, you know, look away, look away!

We start at an old-timey looking news station for Lachrymose News, “where things keep happening until they stop happening.” I know this “it keeps happening” feeling because it encapsulates all of my feelings about the current administration.

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Doctor Who S04 Wrap-Up

by Kirsti April 15, 2017 Doctor Who
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It took us more than a year to finally get out of Series 4, partly because we tagged all the Tennant specials into this season, but mostly because we so slow. We did it though and the super struggle bus of getting here only makes this gif dance party celebration all the more earned:

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Designated Survivor S01 E10 – Running in Heels

by Dani Denatti April 13, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We open to the car crash, where Agent Hannah Wells is either dead or unconscious. Some dude comes to check on her, and he seems really kind, talking to her all calmly and telling her not to move her neck. Then he strangles her. Um… what? Why spend all that time comforting her if he’s an assassin who’s supposed to kill her? Maybe the show thought using misdirection here would add tension, but it just ends up making this guy look like the most incompetent assassin ever. I bet I know where he buys his assassin-gear.

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Doctor Who S04 E18 – Excuse me while I ugly cry.

by Kirsti April 12, 2017 Doctor Who
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After a recap of what happened last time, we jump straight into the credits. Farewell, Russell T Davies era credits and title screen. I love you forever. (M: I’m glad the farewell tour is starting so early!)

DOO WEE OOO!

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Doctor Who S04 E17 – This is a terrible plan.

by Kirsti April 6, 2017 Doctor Who
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We open in space. We zoom past the Moon to Earth. A narrator tells us that in the last days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. Except that everyone forgot because people are dumb. Well, one person remembered. We zoom in on Wilf(!!!!!!), watching happily as a Salvation Army band plays Christmas carols. He hears a maniacal laugh in his head, and shakes himself.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E08 – Snow Presents

by Marines April 3, 2017 Gilmore Girls
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Oh hey, it’s great to be back in Snark Squad HQ and it’s even better that Mari let’s me ramble about one of my favourite Gilmore Girls episodes.

Sweeney: Mari’s out with a case of having the world’s most inhumanly absurd schedule, but I agree that she is very great. (K: I have been wondering if she has a time turner somewhere.) Gif dance party for Mari in the comments. I’ll start:

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Designated Survivor S01 E09 – Wearable Wallpaper

by Dani Denatti March 16, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We begin at night, in some random office building. A middle-aged guy sits in his cubicle, looking around furtively as he copies something onto his laptop. Then we get an aerial shot of him sitting in a bathroom stall, opening said laptop with a screwdriver, and then removing a tiny storage chip from the hard drive inside it. Not sure that’s a thing, but let’s go with it. (S: The only way to survive SnarkTV, really.) He places the chip into a tricked-out quarter that opens to reveal a cavity that perfectly fits a tiny storage drive. Cool!

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