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Designated Survivor S01 E09 – Wearable Wallpaper

by Dani Denatti March 16, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We begin at night, in some random office building. A middle-aged guy sits in his cubicle, looking around furtively as he copies something onto his laptop. Then we get an aerial shot of him sitting in a bathroom stall, opening said laptop with a screwdriver, and then removing a tiny storage chip from the hard drive inside it. Not sure that’s a thing, but let’s go with it. (S: The only way to survive SnarkTV, really.) He places the chip into a tricked-out quarter that opens to reveal a cavity that perfectly fits a tiny storage drive. Cool!

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E04 – Impotent Rage

by Marines March 15, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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Look away, look away!

Lemony says there is no word to describe waking up and knowing instantly that something is wrong. (Dani: Sure there is: “Monday”) (Annie: Truth.) This is what happens to the Baudelaires the morning after we last saw them (bad feeling, not Monday), as they wake up to the sun rising and not thanks to their Uncle Monty.

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20 Reasons Buffy the Vampire Slayer Endures – #BuffySlays20

by Marines March 13, 2017 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Almost five years ago, our baby website decided to expand from its usual fare (the terrible books we read as children) to cover a TV show. At the insistence of my friends, I’d watched the pilot episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer even before the founding of the blog. In fact, “Childhood Trauma” was the first name of this blog, thanks to the classic line in the pilot. When it came time to pick a show to cover here, it seemed natural to start with Buffy.

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Charmed S03 E07 – Andy-love

by Stephanie March 8, 2017 Charmed
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The episode begins with Cole and Phoebe kissing in bed, so I already don’t like it. Phoebe says that she feels like Cole pulls away whenever they get close, and he responds by literally pulling away and turning from her. (M: Wow. Phoebe is good at picking up on these things.) Phoebe presses a bit more for some truth and Cole transforms into his demon form and attacks her while going “RAWRRR.” Just kidding! It’s a nightmare.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E07 – Dean ruiner.

by Gina February 11, 2017 Gilmore Girls
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We open in the town square, prepping for one of their adorably ridiculous town festivals (get used to these – there are a lot of them!), with Lorelai bemoaning the fact that she hasn’t had clean underwear in three days. When Rory asks what she’s wearing under her skirt, she replies with, “Not underwear.”(#RoleModelMom) In Connecticut. In October. Without stockings or anything. It could not be more clear that the show was produced in California.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E03 – Everyone dies.

by Marines February 9, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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Credits, which now allude to the fact that the Baudelaires are with Dr. Montgomery. The song tells us up front that this adult is also going to be bad at adulting, so cool. On the bright side, I didn’t know I could love these credits more, but they are CUSTOMIZED. I already know I want to rewatch all the credits once I finish the series and my memory is more fresh on what all the little tidbits are. (S: Agreed, this is a very exciting development.) (A: They were a little spoilery, but it brings me joy, so.)

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Charmed S03 E06 – Empathetic

by Marines February 8, 2017 Charmed
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Prue is in the kitchen trying to telekinesis a fork off the counter. We hear the tinkle that usually follows her powers, but the fork won’t move. Phoebe walks in having some kind of a fashion meltdown, but since her Pocahontas-inspired handkerchief top is no worse than 99% of what she’s always wearing, IDK what the emergency is. When Phoebe realizes that Prue can’t move the fork, she worriedly asks if Prue’s lost her powers. Prue says you can’t lose what you never had and disappears.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E02 – Literally

by Marines January 24, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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Look away, look away, look away.

Didn’t? Okay.

Samantha: This theme song gets stuck in my head in a big way.

Annie: This song has been keeping me up at night, stuck in my head.

Dani: As a child of the 80’s, the “look away” lyrics just give me nasty Chicago 19 flashbacks.

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BrainDead S01 E13 – Laugh and Cringe

by Dani Denatti January 23, 2017 BrainDead
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The title seems particularly apt know that we know 1) CBS did not renew BrainDead, and 2) a Twitter troll won the election.

Marines: And he keeps on trolling.

Dani: As always, we begin with our singing recapper — only this time he’s performing live for us, right next to the brownstone where Laurel, Rochelle, and Gustav are gathered. The show starts right where the last one left off, with Laurel telling the Scoobs that she knows what the space bugs want, and she knows how to stop them.

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Designated Survivor S01 E08 – Barely not vomitting.

by Dani Denatti January 18, 2017 Designated Survivor
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I take full responsibility for getting us behind on this show. Between the December blues and life, this fell to the bottom of my list. The good news is that there are no new episodes until March so we have time to play catch up! Also, the still of this episode on the ABC app is Leo looking as whiny as Conor from Angel.

Dani: That alone would have derailed my motivation.

Marines: I already watched this episode but that description makes me wish I could unwatch it.

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Supergirl S02 E04 – Super not even trying.

by Catherine January 16, 2017 Season 2
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We open on Daxam on The Day that Krypton Died. Fireballs are raining down on the planet and Mon-El and the Prince are running. They find a Kryptonian Ship that some dead emissaries left behind. Mon-El insists that the Prince escape in it but the Prince admits he cannot fly it. Mon-El gets in to pre-program the destination and then the Prince shut him in because he’s wounded and wants to go down with his planet.

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A Series of Unfortunate Events S01 E01 – Not better than nothing.

by Marines January 15, 2017 A Series of Unfortunate Events
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This show is based on some books I read many, many moons ago. I remember them vaguely. I also paid actual money to see the movie adaptation in theaters. That I remember more clearly. So, here we are.

Samantha: I read and loved these books too. I remember them well and push them at the children who come into my library all the time. “Terrible stuff happens to these kids but the fun is seeing how they take care of each other and think their way out!”

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Gilmore Girls S01 E06 – Fancy and creepy.

by Catherine January 9, 2017 Gilmore Girls
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This episode opens with a Friday Night Dinner where only Emily, Lorelei and Rory are in attendance. See how I used the term ‘in attendance’ because this is fancy? That’s the kind of fanciness you can expect in my recap. If you’re not already wearing your cravat, you should be.

Marines: RSVP: YES.

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Doctor Who S04 E16 – Water, Water Everywhere

by Kirsti January 7, 2017 Doctor Who
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I’m going to be upfront about this – I’ve only ever seen this episode once because it scared the living shit out of me while also being not great. So… that’s something to look forward to?

Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we’ve seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E05 – Great restraint

by Annie January 6, 2017 Gilmore Girls
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Straight talk: I have a loooong history with Gilmore Girls. I watched the show when it first aired with my mum. It started out just the two of us watching, but eventually my brothers and even my dad would watch it with us. I have the complete series on DVD, I have watched the series all the way through so many times that I’ve lost count. Gilmore Girls coming to Netflix has only made it worse, because it’s much easier to rewatch it when I don’t have to change DVD discs every 3 episodes like a sucker. So now that I’ve exposed my probably unhealthy obsession with GG, let’s get to the recap!

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