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BrainDead S01 E05 – Bacon-wrapped Beefcake

by Dani Denatti August 26, 2016 BrainDead
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The “previously on BrainDead” songs have quickly become one of my favorites things about this show. Whatever you do, don’t fast-forward through them.

Marines: “You can count on him when booty calls.” 

Perfection.

Dani: This episode begins right where the previous one left off — with Laurel repeating what she just said because Anthony couldn’t hear her. He claims it’s just his tinnitus, which is worse in the morning, but Laurel and I remain skeptical. Then he tells her he has to get to work and asks if he can use her restroom.

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E13 – Just A-ing around.

by Samantha August 25, 2016 Pretty Little Liars
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I love a good holiday episode. This one starts with the girls walking outside on a picturesque Hollywood Christmas set, otherwise known as a street in Rosewood. Spencer says that since she’s out on bail for murder she’s not really vibing Christmas. Fair. Her and Toby agreed to just surprise each other with gestures. Hannah confuses gestures with jesters and I love her. They decide to write wishes down on paper snowflakes for a wish tree. Hannah sadz that the last time she was here she was with Mona. This throws us into a brief flashback that I feel comfortable calling an Ali-back just because Hannah is looking very Ali here. Mona and Hannah giggle and declare themselves bffs.

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E09 – Have Yourself a Snobby Little Christmas

by Chelsea August 25, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Lights up on Leery Manor as Dawson and a girl that COULD BE JOEY are in his room watching movies. Only just kidding, it’s totally Gretchen. And the movie they’re watching is one of Mr. Brooks’. Dawson laments that he wants to hate Mr. Brooks’ work (wonder what it’s like to want to hate something that badly, hmmm blonde spider?) but then goes on to call it a ‘heartbreaking work of staggering genius’ and I’m throwing up too hard to wonder if it’s hyperbole.

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Supergirl S01 E16 – Damn that pencil skirt.

by Catherine August 24, 2016 Season 1
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Hey guys! Yes, we are still doing Supergirl reviews even though it takes me a million years to get around to doing mine every time. BECAUSE LISTEN I HAVE A LIFE (I don’t. I’m just forgetful.) (S: We <3 you though.) (C: *heart eyes*)

Anyway, I’m giving you previouslies since it’s been a few weeks since we did the last episode.

Previouslies: We’re reminded that Astra got bummer stabbed and died and Alex finally told Kara that she was the one that did it, Siobhan kissed Winn against all logic and reason, and Lucy broke up with Jimmy.

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BrainDead S01 E04 – Liberal Tourette’s

by Dani Denatti August 23, 2016 BrainDead
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We begin with the best previously song yet:

“Have you no sense of decency? My God, you monsters… not the cat!”

Marines: This song is basically doing our job for us.

Dani: (Shhhh…)

The action starts in an apartment building where a woman named Jules (Natalie Gold) meets her next-door neighbor, Noah (Michael Esper), for the first time.

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The OC S04 E10 – Endearing but WHAT EVEN?

by Marines August 22, 2016 Season 4
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Taylor visits Ryan during his break because she has the perfect Valentine’s Day present for him, even though Valentine’s Day is weeks away. Her perfect present? A scrapbook, complete with signed letter for her divorce lawyer, sneaky pictures she took of Ryan on her camera phone and their hospital bracelets from that one time they were in a joint coma. Ryan just makes some really uncomfortable noises.

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E08 – Karma chameleon

by Kirsti August 18, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Capeside High, first thing in the morning. Everyone wanders around yawning until some random kid runs into the middle of the hall and starts yelling that everyone has to see what’s happened to the swimming pool. I guess Capeside High has a swimming pool now. Cool. Everyone runs after him and giggles hysterically as the camera pans across to show us that there’s a sailboat sitting in the middle of the pool with “CLASS OF 2001” written on the sail, and a golden retriever on board. It’s the principal’s boat and the principal’s dog, and he’s pretty pissed about it. Amusingly, the pissy principal is played by Harry Shearer, better known as the voice of Principal Skinner, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Ned Flanders, and half the other characters on The Simpsons.

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Charmed S03 E03 – Not those kinds of tweens.

by Stephanie August 17, 2016 Charmed
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Piper is tending to the bar at P^3 when Leo comes in. He needs to talk with her, but first they have to get their no-chemistry kissing on. When they break away, Leo says that he came to say goodbye because The Powers That Be won’t ever let them be together and all the usual nonsense we’ve been over a zillion times. His voice gets all dream-echoey and Piper can’t hear what he’s saying anymore even though it still sounds pretty clear to me. He backs away, mouths, “I love you,” and tinkles away. It’s a bit early for my gag-reflex to kick in, but there it is.

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The OC S04 E09 – Are you my daddy?

by Marines August 16, 2016 Season 4
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Summer is in bed staring at her ugly engagement ring. Taylor walks in, asking for help with her resolutions. So far she’s got “get a job and stop mooching off of other people’s families” and “take calcium supplements.” That’s basically it.

Samantha: Taylor, if you’re gonna take calcium you might as well take iron, too. Get a well rounded supplement system going. 

Mari: After a beat, Summer suggests she add one more thing: plan Summer’s wedding.

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BrainDead S01 E03 – It’s Not Poetry

by Dani Denatti August 15, 2016 BrainDead
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Once again, we begin with a recap song by Jonathan Coulton:

After the previouslies, we open on Senator Ella Pollack (Luke’s new rival for party Whip), who’s home with a cold. She gets a conciliatory arrangement of cherry blossoms from Luke, although it was actually Scarlett who sent them. Luke and Ella decide they’d rather work together than against each other, and they agree to talk soon. Luke tells Scarlett she’s a genius, and I throw up a little in my mouth.

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BrainDead S01 E02 – Chess kills.

by Dani Denatti August 10, 2016 BrainDead
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Episode 2 begins with a “previously on Braindead” recap that’s written and sung by the king of geek culture, Jonathan Coulton (the guy whose cover was ripped off by FOX/Glee sparking a controversy that led to a plotline on The Good Wife and also this gig).

Marines: A recent episode of The OC we recapped featured one of my favorite TV things EVER, episode specific changes to the credit sequence. I went off on a whole sidebar about how much I love it. That said, this might be just as good as that. HOW WONDERFUL.

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BrainDead S01 E01 – #TeamMagicallyDelicious

by Dani Denatti August 8, 2016 BrainDead
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The show begins with a collection of TV screens displaying clips from our current election cycle. Scrawled across them, we get the following message:

“In the year 2016 there was a growing sense that people were losing their minds… And no one knew why…Until now.”


Marines: Well, shit. That’s scary because I do think people are losing their minds, but I’m not sure how I feel about zombie bugs as a reason…

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Charmed S03 E02 – OWL always love you.

by Marines August 6, 2016 Charmed
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Piper is waiting in a salon, watching two women under hair dryers flip through bridal magazines. She looks down at the table where there is a pile of magazines there too. She picks one up, frustratedly puts it down, and decides to walk out on her hair appointment? Like, did she change her mind about her dirty hair? Was she just sitting there to spy on women reading bridal magazines? I don’t really know.

Piper gets into a elevator and two women walk in and excitedly show off their engagement rings.

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E07 – Subtext Should Be, Well, Sub

by Chelsea August 4, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Open with Joey in the guidance office, being told by an very well-coiffed counselor that “it suits you,” the ‘it’ in this situation being the panicky doe-eyed look that Joey seems to have as a high school senior applying for colleges. Someone should probably tell the counselor that’s just how her face is, though. Joey makes a crack about just going to clown college but the counselor reassures her that she’s actually doing really well on the whole process. Except, of course, for a completely arbitrary (and possibly made up) peer-review from ‘the person who knows her best’ which will OF COURSE necessitate a choice between Pacey and Dawson.

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Doctor Who S04 E12 – #squadgoals

by Kirsti August 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He’s surprised to see that everything’s perfectly normal. Donna’s too busy being all, “so that was Rose Tyler, huh?” (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor’s moping over her…) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they’ll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.

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