snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die


The OC S02 E06 – Snow Elitism

by Amanda Osborn October 20, 2014 Season 2
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Before we get into this recap, a little bit of context about my history with The OC. I watched seasons one and two when it aired on TV and actually own season one on DVD. I happen to think that season one is one of the greatest seasons of TV ever, and it definitely was my very favorite season of TV as a teenager. However, I haven’t seen season two since it aired. In my mind, The OC ended during the season one finale.

So! With that, let’s get into “The Chrismukkah that Almost Wasn’t.” (Full disclosure: I asked to recap this episode because Chrismukkah is one of the first things that come to mind when I think of Seth Cohen/The OC.) (S: And this is a great episode for any Seth Cohen Chrismukkah fan.)

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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E04 – Who throws a shoe?

by DemocracyDiva October 19, 2014 How to Get Away With Murder
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We begin, again, on Murder Night. At 12 Grimmauld Place, we rehash the Michaela is beyond terrified/Connor is verbally abusive and manic/Laurel is trying to stay calm and be helpful/Wes is snuggling Rebecca dynamic. Wes says he needs to get Rebecca out of here while the rest of them go to the woods, since she of all people can’t be found there.

Then there’s an angry knock on the door and everyone panics. It’s Asher, and he is PISSED. Not because of murder!reasons, but because Michaela stole his trophy. They all pretend not to be home, except Connor, who starts cackling like a sociopath. It’s not funny, except when Asher yells, “Are you bitches seriously trying to ignore me right now?” That was weirdly hilarious.

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Doctor Who S01 E04 – Gas exchange

by Marines October 18, 2014 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS appears in front of Rose’s less than fancy looking apartment complex. (K: For the Americans among us, allow me to teach you about council estates, otherwise known as “where Rose Tyler lives.”) Rose and the Doctor get out and her first question is how long she’s been gone. Only about 12 hours. Rose laughs and promises not to take long, as she just wants to check on her mother. She tells the Doctor not to disappear on her. He gives her a cute little smile in return.

Cute in a, “yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” way.

Sweeney: I mentioned this last time, but to reiterate: while I’m still not really enjoying this show, these bits are cute.

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Supernatural S02 E14 – Embrace your feminine side

by Kirsti October 18, 2014 Season 2
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Dean stands next to the Bromobile by an underpass and phones Ellen in a panic. Sam’s been missing for days, there’s no sign of him, and Dean’s freaking the fuck out because it’s like Papa Winchester all over again. Ellen hasn’t heard anything. Dean’s phone beeps and he looks at the screen to see an incoming call from Sam. He answers, then tells Sam to calm down because he’s on his way.

Crappy motel. Sam hangs up the phone and stares at his bloody knuckles. Dean Bromobiles his way to Sam. He reaches the motel and rushes to Sam’s room. He panics a little when he finds blood all over Sam’s shirt, but Sam assures him it’s not his.

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Veronica Mars S02 E16 – Town of Indeterminate Size

by Sweeney October 17, 2014 Season 2
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he previouslies are loaded with Troy flashbacks, so, you know, that’s a thing to prepare for. I have the vague feeling that I don’t like this episode, but it wins a lot of points for continuity porn, which this show is full of and generally does quite well. Bringing back a character we haven’t seen in 30 episodes is neat because it’s a show’s way of saying, “Yes, we know that when characters leave our immediate scope, they continue existing and being people!”

Marines: “And we realize that real people often have multiple interactions with more than 5 people.” Good job, show. You are right.

Democracy Diva: For the resident Snow, these callbacks are often confusing, but even I remembered Troy as… uh… someone Veronica dated who did something fucked up to her? Right? Maybe? It’s been a LONG TIME since Season 1, you guys. I know I’m supposed to hate him, I just don’t totally remember why.

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Dollhouse S01 E04 – Blue skies and snowy mountains

by Marines October 17, 2014 Dollhouse
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Mountains Somewhere. We hear a woman moaning and I’m pretty sure it’s done specifically in a way so the first thing you think is, “sexy time.” But no. Some woman is giving birth and now I just feel all awkward. (S: Best PSA ever! YOU THINK SEXY TIME FEELS GOOD, KIDS? WELL THIS IS WHERE IT LEADS.) Echo is the midwife and WHY? WHY WOULD ECHO BE THE MIDWIFE? Are these parents on the run from the law? Is that baby the second coming of some deity? Did part of the job include scaling the mountain before assuming midwiferly duties? NO? No need for a doll to be the midwife.

Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.

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The OC S02 E05 – The questionable taste of our youth

by DemocracyDiva October 16, 2014 Season 2
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We begin with a Ryan and Seth walk-and-talk at school. Seth helpfully recaps the events of the last episode – namely, that Alex (or in my head, Punk!Olivia Wilde) kissed him and Ryan talked to Lindsay all night long at a bus stop. Ryan wants to take things slow, but Seth suggests that he invite Lindsay to another effing dance – the titular SnO.C.

Ryan is doubtful and kind of nervous and it’s actually super endearing. He reminds Seth that bad things always happen at these parties, which is absolutely true, but Seth assures him it’ll be fine. I think. It’s hard to tell, because Seth has so many marbles in his mouth I’m not really sure what he’s saying. I don’t remember this ever bothering me during my Seth-Cohen-obsessed youth. Maybe I’m just getting old.

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Gotham S01 E04 – Eyeball Trauma Assassin

by Sweeney October 16, 2014 Gotham
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We begin where the last episode ended, with Oswald arriving at Jim’s door. Barbara shows him in and he introduces himself as Peter, a friend of Jim’s. Barbara is lovely and jokes about not getting to meet Jim’s friends. Jim walks Oswald out to have a chat about work things.

Alex: Oh, whoops. I totally assumed Barbara knew who Oswald was at the end of the last recap. Apparently not. But I’m sure that when she opened the door last week she looked worried, whereas now she’s just being all charming and upbeat.

Marines: I mean, every other character in this show has been all, “YOU. PENGUIN.” so it wasn’t unreasonably to assume that she would also guess who he was. But no.

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Dawson’s Creek S02 E17 – Nigel No-Friends

by Kirsti October 16, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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We open, predictably, in the Shrine o’ Spielberg. Joey’s crying her way through the first cut of Dawson’s autobiographical shitfest. As it finishes, he asks for her opinion. “In my whole life, I’ve never been so unequivocally moved by words and moving images on screen!” she says before continuing that this movie will change people’s lives. Dawson’s thrilled. Joey says that there’s no doubt that Jack McPhee will be one of the great filmmakers of our generation. Dawson’s all “Skrrrrt, WHAT”. He grabs the tape from the VCR and finds that it says it was directed by Jack.

He’s confused. Jack climbs in the window, and he and Joey gush over each other for a minute before Jack says that he bumped into Spielberg and has been offered a job.

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Doctor Who S01 E03 – Zombie Grandma

by Sweeney October 15, 2014 Doctor Who
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I have been putting this off for an unreasonable amount of time, mostly because I’ve been busy but partially because of my struggle to get into this show. I was feeling kind of guilty about it, too, because I want so badly to love this thing that everybody else loves. Then I remembered that (a) the 1×01 comments are filled with amazing stories of many a devout Whovian’s struggle to come into the light -and- (b) There are a half dozen, “LOL you gave Sweeney that episode to start with?” comments on the last post. So, you know, these are all things. What I’m saying is THANKS, GUYS.

(In truth, there’s no winning for you – either you don’t warn me and I’m all, “WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? WHY WHY WHY?’ or you do warn me and I’m all, “THANK YOU FOR PLANTING SEEDS OF DREAD.”)

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Charmed S01 E17 – Fetal premonitions

by Marines October 15, 2014 Charmed
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Prue and Phoebe are going through old pictures and Phoebe is complaining about a lack of HER in all of them. Prue finds a couple of Baby Phoebe, including one with their mom. Phoebe catches some feels but before they can explore them too much, Piper rushes in looking for pen and paper. There’s a knock on the door and on the way there, Piper exposits to her sisters that every year this man shows up on the same day with flowers for their grandmother from a secret admirer, when clearly he’s the admirer.

Piper opens the door and it’s Blatant Admirer with flowers for “Penny Halliwell.”

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Supernatural S02 E13 – Avenging Angels

by Kirsti October 15, 2014 Season 2
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First things first, this is the second of three episodes in this season that’s named after a Led Zeppelin song. I know Dean loves his Zeppelin, but that’s a little over the top. ANYWAY. Providence, Rhode Island. A junkie-looking young woman sits watching TV, surrounded by creepy-as-shit angel statues. She flicks from the Drew Carey Show to a televangelist, wibbling about how God is with you. She turns the TV off, and the lights flicker. The TV switches on again. The televangelist asks if she can hear the glory. The lights continue to flicker and the room starts to shake. She stares in shock and awe at a white light that appears.


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Dollhouse S01 E03 – Stalker Anthem

by Sweeney October 14, 2014 Dollhouse
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This episode begins at a club with a girl dancing very sexily on stage on a cage I assumed it was a strip club, but it’s much classier because she’s a singer. Sorry girl. I had to Google her and it was a very confusing search because I was trying to avoid spoilers. The song is by Kimberly Cole but she is not acting in the episode, which is what I initially thought, because I’m stupid and identifying characters as a Snow is the hardest fucking thing. (L: Girl, I’m always an email away.)

Anyway, the character is Rayna Russell and she is singing a song called Superstar in a diamond bra with on-stage fireworks and other snazzy pop star trappings. I was just about to say something about how dangerous those fireworks seem when ONE OF HER DANCERS CAUGHT ON FIRE. Shit. Rayna is rushed off stage.

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The OC S02 E04 – The New Era (of Tears and Possible Pedophilia)

by Tyler Fontaine October 13, 2014 Season 2
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Hello, Traumateers! The Snark Squad has, for some reason, allowed me to be your guide through the OC Season 2, Episode 4. I have never seen the OC, nor do I have any idea what it is about; however, from the title, I’m looking forward to some disruptive, forward-thinking Original Content. AM I RIGHT? (M: Best to let it be a surprise.) So. Let’s get this show on the road.

Oh, as the opening recap begins, I’m noticing a lot of white people. And one semi-hispanic looking teenager. This is probably just situational, and there’ll be a more diverse group coming up.

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Dawson’s Creek S02 E16 – More gay than ever

by DemocracyDiva October 13, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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Shrine O’Spielberg. Pacey has run right over because Dawson is in panic mode. It’s mere minutes away from Dawson’s sixteenth birthday, and Dawson thinks he is still as useless a human being as he was a year ago. Yup. Definitely true.

Kirsti: SO TRUE OMG.

Diva: Dawson waves around a bloody prop hand (that’s not British slang – it actually has fake blood on it) as he wonders why he has gotten nowhere in the last year. Maybe it has something to do with your room looking like a murder crime scene? Dawson says that all he did in the last year was figure out his feelings for Joey, and she dumped him for a gay guy.

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