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Pretty Little Liars S04 E05 – Memory Lane

by Sweeney September 30, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
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[…]

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Veronica Mars S02 E13 – Child Abuse Adjacent

by Sweeney September 30, 2014 Season 2
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In Free Study Period That Mostly Exists in Fictional Universes For Plot Purposes, Veronica is picking up some stuff for an FBLA booth. Mrs. Hauser asks some kid to go get some stuff and he declares Veronica his nemesis. While he does as he’s asked, Veronica snarks to Madison Trip to the Dentist Sinclair about their eternal nemesis status. Mrs. Hauser complains about poor teacher life while also hating the poor kids, which is super cool.

Corny and Weevil are also randomly there to provide some the essential us/them divisiveness. Rich 09ers are preparing for the school carnival which will raise money for the senior trip they control.

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The OC S01 E27 – Leaving the OC, bitch.

by Sweeney September 29, 2014 Season 1
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FINALE TIME! I have no idea why this show has a ridiculous 27 episode order, but unlike some other teen soap operas, the previouslies inform us that shit has been happening on this show. Speaking of, this episode begins with Seth and Ryan discussing potential baby names. Ryan, suddenly with more to brood about than ever before is uncommonly lighthearted. (For Ryan, anyway. This would still qualify as a broody day for most other fictional characters.) Bro chat comes to an end when Theresa emerges from the family planning clinic.

Casa Cohen. Kirsten gets off a phone call, still distressed about the impending nuptials of The Gruesome Twosome.

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Dawson’s Creek S02 E12 – Hugs for Intern Pacey

by DemocracyDiva September 29, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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hrine O’Spielberg. Pacey is playing Dawson while Dawson tries to add something anyone but him gives a shit about character details to his script. Dawson explains that The Great Santini is about father-son angst, which Pacey knows a bit about. Dawson proves he understands nothing about his best friend by saying dumb things, like this:

The boys establish that they have a father-son fishing trip coming up this weekend with both their fathers. Pacey wants to know if Dawson respects his dad; he replies, “I’d hate to live in a world where I didn’t.” Ugh. What a drama queen. Just say yes. Anyway, Pacey insists that this isn’t a real answer, but he gives a similar non-answer when Dawson turns the question on him. (K: FEELS)

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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E01 – #livingthedream

by DemocracyDiva September 27, 2014 How to Get Away With Murder
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Democracy Diva: Welcome, Traumateers! I am thrilled to be using my status as a barred-but-under-employed attorney to help Sweeney and Lorraine snark the new Shonda Rhimes drama “How to Get Away with Murder.”

Lorraine: I’m cracking up already. #livingthedream

Sweeney: You too can spend lots of money/time/sanity on law school so that you can write about it on the internet. For free.

Diva: Like a boss.

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Supernatural S02 E09 – Sick and twisted

by Kirsti September 27, 2014 Season 2
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Dean pulls out a gun and walks into a room where a young blond guy is tied to a chair. The guy pleads for his life as a nurse and a tough looking guy suggest that maybe this isn’t the best idea ever. Dean cocks his gun and says he has no choice. Blond Guy cries that it’s not in him, but Dean has no fucks to give.

He shoots twice. The screen flashes white and fades into Sam lying on the floor of a motel. He sits up, panting, as Dean rushes to his side.

FLAME ON!

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Pretty Little Liars S04 E04 – Keeping face

by Lorraine September 26, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
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Best Papa Fields gets home, greets Emily and quickly sends her on her way. Because every other day she has full hours for coffee and crime investigating, but on the day her dad gets home, can’t be late! No time!

Sweeney: Emily, girl, reexamine all of your priorities.

Lor: Hanna and Caleb are already at school, discussing Shitbag Marin’s missing gun. Caleb’s all, “hey, all we know is there may have been a gun in the room when your mom got there and it was definitely gone after she left.” Caleb says if Wilden was shot with a 38, Ashley is in trouble. Hanna’s response is to just forget everything about murder and evidence and stuff because it’s too hard.

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Veronica Mars S02 E12 – Pointless biblical asides

by DemocracyDiva September 26, 2014 Season 2
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We open with a threatening knife. No, just kidding, it’s a happy knife, because it’s cutting cake, and cake is delicious. Veronica is trying to comfort-feed Wallace, because he has just implicated Rashard Rucker in a manslaughter. And they’ve said like eighty times (okay, twice) that Rashard Rucker = Lebron James, but I guess this was back when Lebron was a baby basketball star and not taking his talents to Miami. (Did I just accurately reference sports?) (L: Possibly! All I know is that he has since left Miami…)

Wallace insists he’s fine, but Veronica is all, my ex-boyfriend just left town with his dead ex-girlfriend’s vampire slayer baby so, just let me take care of you so I don’t have to think about that.

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The OC S01 E26 – ‘The Petting Zoo’

by Risha September 25, 2014 Season 1
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One of the few (conscious) memories I have of ever watching a complete episode of the OC is from when I was horribly hungover at university, feeling very sorry for myself, and being unable to muster up enough energy to change the damn channel. Even with half my braincells devoted to feeling utterly wretched, my main- and recurring- thought about this show is best summed up as ‘what the fuck is this?’.

Caveat: while I have some vague awareness of the characters and their backstories, I have no idea what the plot line is or what the last twenty five episodes have been banging on about and the ‘previously on.. ‘ doesn’t really help me at all.

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Dawson’s Creek S02 E11 – Whodunnit?

by Kirsti September 25, 2014 Dawson's Creek
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We pick up with the aftermath of where we left off last time, with the three couples at their respective locations. Joey thanks Jack a little awkwardly for posing for her. A pantsless Jen tells Dawson that his arrival was “an unexpected encounter.” Pacey and Andie kiss sweetly by the Witter Mobile. Jack asks Joey if she has any regrets, and she shakes her head. They kiss. Dawson tells Jen he’ll see her tomorrow and kisses her on the forehead before leaving. Pacey and Andie continue to be adorable before she heads inside. Jack leaves. The zoomy cameraman shows us Joey’s “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS” face. Then Pacey’s. Then Jen’s.

I DON”T WANNA WAIT. (D: FOR THIS EPISODE TO BE OVER, OH I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW – WHO GOT LAAAAAIIIIID!)

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Charmed S01 E15 – Arbitrary Skepticism

by Lorraine September 24, 2014 Charmed
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The Halliwell Manor shakes. The P’s come running down the stairs and Phoebe helpfully announces, “oh no! Not another after shock!” Thanks, Phoebe. I was almost there but now I really know what’s going on! Phoebs says Prue is the only who who likes earthquakes.

The girls are tidying up in the kitchen when Prue gets a whiff of something foul. Piper has already smelled this smell and thinks it’s coming from the basement. She called someone to check it out, all without ever discussing this with her sisters because exposition needed to happen now. In fact, the gasman has just arrived.

Prue freaks out because they are hosting some auction-house-related dinner at the Manor. Phoebe assures her that everything will be okay.

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Gotham S01 E01 – Subtlety is Overrated

by Sweeney September 24, 2014 Gotham
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Necessary disclaimer: we know nothing about Batman. I’ve maybe seen all of the Batman movies made in my lifetime, occasionally watched the 90’s cartoon as a kid, and love Batman The Ride. I also just remembered that I suppressed memories of thinking Chris O’Donnell was dreamy when I was in the 4th grade, thanks entirely to Batman Forever. That is my entire Batman CV. My comic book IQ is pretty low, in general, and Batman is definitely not on the list of superheroes whose stories I could feign competency in. To the best of my knowledge, this is also true of Lorraine (L: Yep.) and Alex, who agreed to join us for her first series recapping gig with the internet equivalent of a shrug and nervous laughter (A: Thanks again for the invite! And I think I’ve only seen two Batman movies ever).

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Supernatural S02 E08 – Here, doggy doggy

by Kirsti September 24, 2014 Season 2
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Greenwood, Mississippi, 1938. In a bar, Robert Johnson (well, an actor playing Robert Johnson, anyway) plays the blues and it’s kind of awesome.

Everyone in the room is listening intently. He stops when he hears a dog barking, but no one else moves. It happens again, and he looks terrified, then runs from the room. Everyone else looks hella confused. He barricades himself in a house, hearing a dog barking and scraping outside the door. His friends break in and find him convulsing on the floor, mumbling about black dogs.

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Veronica Mars S02 E11 – Looking at lives and choices.

by Lorraine September 23, 2014 Season 2
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Logan is heading up to the Billionaire Bros Bungalow. Before the elevator doors close, Veronica runs inside. Because it is a Logan/Veronica interaction, it’s been fully gifed for your viewing pleasure:

Sweeney: It’s good to know there are some things we can count on in this world, like shippers on Tumblr.

Lor: All that “Duncan is sad over the death of his ex and his new baby” exposition over, those two finally get upstairs. Veronica walks into Duncan’s room, with more sarcastic commentary from Logan in the background. It’s a little hard to keep track of Logan’s moods sometimes.

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Pretty Little Liars S04 E03 – How Stuff Works

by Sweeney September 23, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
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The girls go through a box of toys and other Ali things at Rosewood’s One Coffeeshop, reminding us about the missing bird, returned dead bestie’s mother, and Hanna’s future accused murderer mother. Everyone is unimpressed with Aria’s latest teacher boyfriend.

Piper Mom is also there with her Coffee Shop Owning boyfriend. He’s moving to Austria and wants her to come with him, but she can’t because she has children. He wants her to “take motherhood off the table for a second” and Piper Mom doesn’t in any way whatsoever respond that this is not how motherhood works. Is that why parenting is so bad in Rosewood? “I want to do a thing, but I’m a parent!” “Just, like, pretend you’re not.” “Perfect!”

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