snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

We are fond of saying that Cordelia Chase named our blog. It was only right, then, for Buffy the Vampire Slayer to become the first TV series covered by the Snark Squad.

Kirsti is a long time fan- the kind with random Whedon trivia stored away for opportune moments. Sweeney first watched the series in 2012 while in Paris for graduate school. She should’ve probably been doing school assignments. This is her second watch. Lorraine is watching it all for the first time. Jokes about her naivety and inability to see the future are welcome. Spoilers are NOT.

Welcome to the Hellmouth, Snark Squad style.

Episodes listed in order. Looking for something later? Jump to our end of season wrap-ups:
Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7

#snarkathon – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

by Kirsti March 18, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a “this would be a good way to finish things” idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a “watch it alone-together with the Traumateers” thing. Aww.

Anyway, let’s get to the movie, shall we?

We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we’re given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory – one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as “The Mark of the Coven”.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Best Of (Kirsti)

by Kirsti March 5, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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This morning we talked about the ten episodes that I thought should be buried at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, never to be seen again. For something a little more positive, let’s talk about my ten best episodes. It’s a list that’s changed dramatically over the course of this project, and if you guys want to see what my pre-Snark Squad list would have looked like, just let me know and I’ll put it down in the comments.

Also, y’all should be impressed with my editing skills because when I finished filming, I had 25 minutes worth of footage of me rambling vaguely about how wonderful these episodes are. I mean, a decent chunk of it was bloopers. But still – 25 minutes worth of footage down to 4 minutes? I HAS WIKKID SKILLZ. Ahem.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Best of (Lorraine)

by Marines March 17, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Worst Of (Kirsti)

by Kirsti March 5, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Well. Here we are, six hundred and twelve (according to the internet) days after our first Buffy post went up. Finishing this project is definitely a bittersweet experience, because it’s been SO MUCH FUN, but it’s also been an epic trip down the Everything Sucks And I Hate This Highway on the struggle bus. Which, now that I think about it, is probably the same highway that the Scoobies were on when they piled into a Winnebago and left town at the end of season 5…

ANYWAY. I had more thoughts on the subject of finishing Buffy than I can possibly convey, and if you feel the need, you can go and read a lot of them HERE because it seemed like a more appropriate place to dump all of my thoughts.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Worst of (Lorraine)

by Marines March 7, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Seriously, guys, ranking this is such hard work. So is recording yourself on video and then looking back at your own face for too long while you edit and realizing your hair is kind of doing something funny in the back.

ANYWAY. It’s my turn to squee about the end. I realize we’ve been doing that now for a solid two weeks, but THE END YOU GUYS. It’s crazy.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Worst Of (Sweeney)

by Sweeney March 6, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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So this is it. THE END. Except the PARTY’S NOT OVER! Because we have to rank some stuff and delay feelings because AAAH WE FINISHED A THING. Coherent sentences. Like Kirsti, I wrote a whole other thing on my personal blog about my many complicated feelings about the end of blogging this show. Blogging about blogging.

As for the list. Rankings are always so stressful for me because the things that I like and dislike about each episode isn’t uniform. There are things that make me hate one episode but which I overlook in another.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Best Of (Sweeney)

by Sweeney March 7, 2014 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Now this is actually it, for me at least. It’s weird to think that this is the last time – in the foreseeable future – that I will be starting a Buffy post. I know I’ve gotten to about five rounds of THE END! nostalgia, but now it’s actually it. As such, this video is basically about how this show gives me all the feelings. It’s where we first declared our allegiance to Team Feels and that’s something of a subtitle to this video. “Fucking Brilliant, or TEAM FEELS FOREVER.”

Again, thank you all for watching and commenting this show with us. It has been a lot of fun and you all helped make that the case. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01 E01 – Or the cemetary is not a park.

by Marines July 2, 2012 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01 E02 – Or why you should carry an Exacto knife.

by Marines July 9, 2012 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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I feel like we should start this second post of Buffy recaps with a disclaimer. We will not be devoting an entire post to each episode. Because that would be CU-RAAAAZY, and I’m pretty sure both Lor and I would go insane after the 144 posts that would require.

At the end of “Welcome to the Hellmouth”, Buffy is trapped in a tomb with a huge, ugly vampire dude, and he’s about to bite her.

Which bring us to…

“The Harvest”

So apparently the huge, ugly vampire dude (whose name is Luke) has really terrible aim when it comes to necks. Or he was trying to bite her boobs? Either way, he ends up with a mouthful of the enormous crucifix necklace that Angel presented Buffy with in the last episode.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01 E03 – These are spirit fingers.

by Marines July 16, 2012 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Lor: I was never a cheerleader. I could attribute this to my two left feet, distaste for most group activities and propensity for alienating people, but the truth is that I never tried cheerleading because my mother deemed the skirts too short, and we all know short skirts are the devil.

K: I was never a cheerleader, because we don’t do that shit in Australia.

And also because of all the reasons Lor said. (Except for my mother thinking short skirts were the devil. She grew up in the 1960s and so was ALL about the short skirts…)

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01 E04 – Two bad guys for the price of none.

by Marines July 30, 2012 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer S01 E05 – Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me.

by Marines August 6, 2012 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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K: We open at the cemetery. Buffy is fighting a vampire, as she’s known to do. She slays, and Giles judges, telling her that she should adopt a “plunge and move on” approach. I’ll take “Things you shouldn’t say to teenage girls when you’re a creepy old dude” for $200, Alex.

Lor: And it’s the Daily Double!

Despite the Giles creepiness, though, he has a legit point. Mid-vampire ass whooping, Buffy quips SO SO MUCH. During this fight? “We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Buffy, and you’re history.”

Uuuugh.

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