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Doctor Who

Doctor Who S04 E16 – Water, Water Everywhere

by Kirsti January 7, 2017 Doctor Who
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I’m going to be upfront about this – I’ve only ever seen this episode once because it scared the living shit out of me while also being not great. So… that’s something to look forward to?

Marines: Well, if it helps, I actually thought this episode was great and hands down the best of the Tennant specials we’ve seen so far. It is also terrifying, though, so 2/2 Snark Ladies agree on that.

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Doctor Who S04 E15 – Stingraliens

by Kirsti January 4, 2017 Doctor Who
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International Gallery. Four armed guards take their positions around a force field meant to protect a big ass golden goblet. I’m going to show you how they are protecting this and you tell me if you see any lapses in security:

Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn’t any make.

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Doctor Who S04 E14 – TARDIS 2.0

by Kirsti October 8, 2016 Doctor Who
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And so we enter the weird sort-of season. I honestly can’t remember the entire story behind why there was this series of specials instead of a whole season, but I think it had something to do with David Tennant being cast as Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production and it being far more successful than they’d planned??? Or something?

Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.

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Doctor Who S04 E13 – Standing in the rain

by Marines October 5, 2016 Doctor Who
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We ended last episode thinking a lot of people might die: Sarah Jane was facing Daleks, the Torchwood team was facing Daleks and the Doctor started to regenerate. After a DOO WEE OOH (K: Officially the most epic cast list of EVER), we join the Doctor as he shoots his regeneration ejaculation into the canister with his hand in it. Rose, Jack and Donna look at the Doctor like WTF.

Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.

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Doctor Who S04 E12 – #squadgoals

by Kirsti August 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He’s surprised to see that everything’s perfectly normal. Donna’s too busy being all, “so that was Rose Tyler, huh?” (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor’s moping over her…) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they’ll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.

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Doctor Who S04 E11 – Past and Future Feelings

by Marines July 31, 2016 Doctor Who
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Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally “normal” adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.

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Doctor Who S04 E10 – Knock, knock.

by Kirsti June 15, 2016 Doctor Who
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You guys, I’m really excited to be recapping this episode for one simple reason – this is the first episode of Doctor Who that I ever saw. I’d had friends telling me for years and years that I’d love it, that I had to watch it, that it was amazing. And I’d always been pretty meh about it. But one Saturday night in 2010, I was home alone in Canberra and had nothing to do (because I’m cool like that), and when ABC News finished, Doctor Who started. And I was still pretty meh about it, but was too lazy to get up and put a DVD on, so I watched it. Conveniently, this is one of those episodes like Blink that requires no prior knowledge of the show, so it was basically the perfect starting point.

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Doctor Who S04 E09 – Everybody lives (again)!

by Marines June 6, 2016 Doctor Who
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We recap part one in the previouslies and then head straight to DOO WEE OOH.

After the opening credits, we pick up right where we left off, with Swarm in a Suit chasing our gang, cornering them in a dark hallway. River stands back and blasts a way out for them.

Little Girl is sitting on her couch and the chase sequence is playing out on her TV. She tells her father that the library is on TV, and he reminds her that the library is all in her imagination.

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Doctor Who S04 E08 – Actual spoilers.

by Kirsti May 25, 2016 Doctor Who
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Unsurprisingly, this episode which features archaeologists and libraries, is one of my favourites. Because it’s freaking amazing.

Marines: I’m with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we’re already squeeing and the episode hasn’t started yet. I’M SO EXCITED.

K: Close your eyes, and tell me what you see,” says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she’s in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It’s Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)

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Doctor Who S04 E07 – Cluedo!

by Marines May 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS lands in front of a manor and the Doctor can smell grass, lemonade and a little bit of mint in the air. It must be the 1920s. Donna disbelievingly asks if he can really tell what year it is by the smell. The Doctor confirms, but Donna’s on to his games.

Kirsti: I love the look on his face in the last gif. Equal parts pride and “oh, someone finally twigged…”

Mari: Some swing jazzy music starts. The man driving the vintage car (Professor Peach) is greeted by the manor staff. A reverend bikes up to the manor as well and he exchanges pleasantries with Professor Peach. The Reverend goes ahead inside because Professor Peach needs to check on something before the party… alone.

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Doctor Who S04 E06 – This is… incestuous.

by Kirsti March 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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We pick up exactly where we left off, with the TARDIS vworp vworping off to God knows where, Martha still on board. The controls aren’t responding, and the Doctor says he has no idea where they’re going, but his spare hand is super excited about. Donna’s all “Your spare WHAT?” and Martha briefly explains. (M: Donna, girl. You never noticed the bubbling hand?) The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor pokes his head out into an underground tunnel, full of barbed wire and shot up sheets of metal. Martha whispers to Donna that she loves this bit, where the Doctor works out where and when they are.

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Doctor Who S04 E05 – Dull potatoes.

by Marines February 25, 2016 Doctor Who
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After a recap of the last episode, we jump straight to the credits.

DOO WEE OOH.

The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!

Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!

Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.

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Doctor Who S04 E04 – Maybe just ride a bike?

by Kirsti February 19, 2016 Doctor Who
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We open at Rattigan Academy, which looks a hell of a lot like Francis Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. But whatever. (M: I’m sure it’s totally different.) A bunch of teenagers in red hoodies and tracksuit pants (sidenote: I find it fascinating how many different terms exist for tracksuit pants. In Australia, they’re generally trackie daks. In the US? Sweatpants. In the UK? Tracksuit bottoms. TELL ME WHAT YOU CALL THEM, I NEED TO KNOW) drag a well dressed woman out of the building and down a flight of stairs as she yells at them to release her.

They drop her to the ground, and throw her stuff after her. A weedy little nerd boy in a grey hoodie and jeans sasses at her and tells her to spell his name – Rattigan – right if she prints it.

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Doctor Who S04 E03 – Revol-Ood-tion.

by Marines February 16, 2016 Doctor Who
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A business-y man watches a commercial for an Ood and talks about it with someone on the other side of a wrist communicator. Business is down so they are dropping the price all the way to 50 credits. After the wrist conversation is over, Business Man tells a nearby Ood to pull some military reports, because the military are always looking for some extra help.

Another call comes into Business Man’s watch, just so we’re super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it’s the wrong one. The Ood says that’s irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.

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Doctor Who S04 E02 – Caecilius est in TARDIS

by Kirsti January 14, 2016 Doctor Who
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First things first: if that post title brings up all kinds of horrible childhood memories for you, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. For those of you who looked at it and went “Whut”, just know that Caecilius was an actual resident of Pompeii, and he and his family form the basis of the first book in the Cambridge Latin Course, used to teach children all over the world – including me – a dead language since 1970. In short, how could I not?!

Marines: Those of us who were never forced to learn a dead language still commiserate with your childhood trauma. The Snark HQ liquor cabinet is open and well stocked.

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