snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Orphan Black

Orphan Black S03 E06 – Nostalgia and a rap video

by Jessica September 17, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E06 – Nostalgia and a rap video

Sarah’s asleep in captivity. A bright light shines on her face, waking her up as the cell door creaks open. Eerie music plays as she walks around an abandoned Castor Military HQ. She hears a giggle and runs after it, while my brain goes “ah, dream sequence.”

Marines: It’s cool that her dream self is all gross and sweaty too, though. 

Read more →

Orphan Black S03 E05 – Trust no one

by Jessica September 14, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E05 – Trust no one

Helena is lying on the floor of her cell, bruised and bloody after being beaten by her captors for killing Parsons. Remember- she stabbed him in the brain? Yeah. Kinda hard to forget. Also, the Castor military folks weren’t too happy about that.

Marines: I mean, to be fair, they started it. 

J: And Helena brought it! They seriously did not know what they were getting into when they allowed her into their picture.

Read more →

Orphan Black S03 E04 – Bullets and blood and brains, oh my!

by Jessica July 20, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E04 – Bullets and blood and brains, oh my!

>We start right back where we ended at the Finch Farm, with Mark facing off against Gracie’s mom. At the end of last episode, she had him cornered in the cornfield and we heard a shot go off.

Closeup on creepy corn. Sigh, it’s ALWAYS creepy corn.

Marines: If I ever have to run into creepy corn, I’m basically doing this:

Read more →

Orphan Black S03 E03 – Bratr

by Marines July 7, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E03 – Bratr

Sarah and Felix drop the Mustached Clone’s body in the tub. They are decked out in rubber gloves and Felix is wearing a smock. Sarah says they should close his eyes, and Felix agrees, but first a drink.

Jessica: An excellent gif that I totally agree with in this situation. This gave me Breaking Bad flashbacks.

Mari: Felix says Mrs. S will know what to do with the body or will at least know someone who will. Sarah doesn’t want to ask for help, but that’s okay, because Felix will definitely ask. They look at the mess of blood and make lots of, “this is awful” comments so we know that it’s about to get way more awful.

Read more →

Orphan Black S03 E02 – Where are the mangoes?

by Jessica June 9, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E02 – Where are the mangoes?

We start right about where we left off last time. Dyad’s Dr. Nealon comes down to the cell where the Mustache Castor Clone freed the Scarface Castor Clone in the previous episode. His face doesn’t really register the “oh shit!” reaction this scene requires as he makes a phone call to report the escape.

Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he’s sticking around for now so I’ll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it’s super creepy. But

Read more →

Orphan Black S03 E01 – I say Helena, you say Helsinki

by Jessica April 25, 2015 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S03 E01 – I say Helena, you say Helsinki

First of all, thanks to the Snark Ladies for adding me to the Orphan Black recapping team. I started watching this show since you recommended it and am now thoroughly pulled in. Also, I am soooo excited for this episode. I’ve been watching the trailer and I’m curious to see how much having the male clones in the mix will change the game and change the consequences of the world.

Ok. Deep breath. Here we go.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E10 – Nothing personal

by Marines July 15, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E10 – Nothing personal

This show ended up taking Sweeney and I by surprise for a reason that’s unique to our experience: it’s a pain in the ass to recap. Part of what intrigues me about the whole Snark Squad project has a lot to do with the material we pick and cover and how it lends itself to scrutiny. It’s hard to tell what a recapping experience will be like before we get a few posts under our belts. Anyway, the point is that this is better than average material that just takes SO. LONG. to cover. I’ll go into the construction of this season a little more at the end, but there was never an easy way to recap one of these episodes. It was always a many, many hour ordeal.

Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E09 – Clones are people too!

by Sweeney June 24, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E09 – Clones are people too!

Alison returns to her garage telling Donnie that she cleaned the car. Donnie’s having a much more appropriate, “What have I done?” reaction over the corpse. Alison’s all business and while that’s probably more productive for them not getting caught it’s also an entirely terrifying quality to witness. Donnie’s, “I’m going to throw up,” as they wrap the body up and toss it in their extra freezer is how I assume a person who is not insane should handle hiding a corpse they murdered.

Lorraine: TRUE. We’ve seen how jittery and nervous Alison can be, but I’d venture to say it’s generally a before/after the fact reaction. In the moment, she’s going to do what needs to be done.

Sweeney: It’s a fine line. I get that she’s doing “what needs to be done” to protect their family now, but her callousness about it still makes me uneasy.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E08 – Tea and tantrums

by Marines June 19, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E08 – Tea and tantrums

A van riddled with bullet holes on the passenger’s side tears through traffic as we hear police sirens in the background. The van pulls into a garage and the driver hops out. A handkerchief is covering most of the driver’s face. Getaway Driver runs over to the passenger’s side where his buddy has the misfortune of being Wounded Partner in Crime. He insists he’s okay, but the bleeding bullet wound tells us otherwise.

Getaway Driver and Wounded Partner in Crime argue about their job gone wrong. Wounded Partner in Crime was supposed to have the place cased, but they were ambushed anyway. Getaway Driver doesn’t think it was police or feds; the ambushers were wearing very expensive shoes.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E07 – This is a thing.

by Sweeney June 16, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E07 – This is a thing.

At Alison’s They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab & I Went Facility, she and Vic the Dick are doing an arts and crafts project – place settings for Family Day. Alison explains that her friend Aynsley thought she was better than her and, as such, deserved what she got. She hesitates, but after pressing from Vic, Alison confesses to sleeping with Aynsley’s husband aaaaaand kind-of-sort-of killing her.

Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic’s, “Well, shit,” face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll be damned excited about them.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E06 – Ethics schmethics.

by Marines June 11, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E06 – Ethics schmethics.

Clone Sister Camping! Camping is not a thing that I want to do ever, but I imagine that camping with your homicidal twin is a new level discomfort, care of nature and the outdoors. Helena, being humanized a little more every episode, shares her can of beans with Sarah and insists she has to eat something. Sarah notes that Cold River isn’t on a map. She wants to know where it is exactly, but Helena won’t tell her, because if Sarah knew, she’d leave Helena behind. Sarah doesn’t refute this. (S: Awkward.)

Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn’t forthcoming.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E05 – All ability to even has been lost.

by Sweeney June 3, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E05 – All ability to even has been lost.

The morning after the clone-twin murderunion, Rachel’s apartment is now a crime scene, albeit an internal Dyad-run-crime-scene. Rachel arrives, not having anyone suggesting Daniel’s body is too gruesome for her to see. She closes his dead eyes and the tender moment is cut short when she corrects Aldous’s suggestion of Daniel’s loyalty: “to you.” Everyone’s instantly aware that this is Helena’s work, not Sarah’s. There is security footage of the twins leaving together. There’s a cryptic reference to whatever happened in Taiwan, but we only learn that Paul did his job well. Rachel finds the home movie of hers that Sarah watched. Aldous suggests that all of this has only happened because of her heavy-handed tactics, but Rachel says she’s “only just begun.

DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E04 – Bad ways to wake-up.

by Marines May 29, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E04 – Bad ways to wake-up.

Seeing as how the last episode ended with some implied rape, I’m kind of scared. I’m going to be flinching the whole time. We start moments after Sarah’s car wreck. She comes to and sees Daniel next to her, passed out and bleeding. Cal opens the driver’s side door and apologizes for the crash. He didn’t know what else to do. Sarah grabs the Project Leda picture and Daniel’s gun as Cal says they have to call the cops. LOL. Sorry, I never get tired of laughing at people suggesting someone call the cops.

Sweeney: THEY NEVER DO. The only people who call the cops are the rare characters who actually call the cops without having silly lines of dialogue in which they ponder at whether or not law enforcement should be involved in their very dangerous situation.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E03 – Unwanted House Guests

by Sweeney May 23, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E03 – Unwanted House Guests

Sarah wakes up in the stolen pickup truck out in the middle of nowhere. It’s a really pretty shot, but Felix isn’t finding this camping thing all that pretty.  Sarah’s wearing leather pants which seem like a really bad choice for life on the run. ETERNAL SWAMP ASS. (L: Plus, it clearly outs her as a BAD GIRL.) Sarah catches Felix up on what happened with Mrs. S and The Birdwatchers, (Sounds like a band name!) adding that it seemed like this wasn’t Mrs. S’s first murder. Felix decides he’s really had his fill of camping when he steps in a pile of shit and Sarah laughs. Don’t laugh girl, you’re going to have to ride in a car with that. (L: Plus, those with eternal swamp ass can’t be judgers.) Felix decides that they 100% need to get to civilization now.

Read more →

Orphan Black S02 E02 – Idea juice

by Marines May 15, 2014 Orphan Black
Thumbnail image for Orphan Black S02 E02 – Idea juice

The soundtrack squeals and we fade into a hospital room where Helena is fading in and out of consciousness. There is a police officer there, taking pictures and collecting evidence. He asks the same question I had last episode: how is she even alive? Almost in response to him, Helena starts convulsing and the nurse rushes to her aid.

Meanwhile, Art is asking Sarah what the Proletheans want with Kira. She doesn’t know. Everyone wants Kira, and probably not to play with puzzles and finger paints. There’s a knock at the door and Sarah lets Felix in. He immediately comforts Sarah by letting her know they will find Kira. Felix greets “Arthur,” but adds a grumble about how he can’t believe Sarah let a cop into Clone Club. Yeah, I’m having a hard time with that one too, Fee.

Read more →