snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

The O.C.

We still have these pesky jobs and lives and stuff that get in the way of our ability to blog all the things like we want to. This has long been a Snark Lady wishlist item. After all, this is the show that gave us the Sandy Cohen Eyebrow Scale of Non-Negligent Parenting.

After recapping two non-consecutive episodes, we’re rounding out the series a little differently. We reached out to a bunch of amazing bloggy friends and asked them to take a turn recapping. Some have the seen the whole series multiple times. Others just watched their one episode and have no idea who any of these people are. Everyone is bringing their share of snark to the table.

In the immortal words of Marissa’s fratty boyfriend Luke, “Welcome to The OC, bitch.

The OC S01 E01 – Sandy Cohen’s Eyebrow Scale of Non-Negligent Parenting

by Sweeney September 12, 2012 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E01 – Sandy Cohen’s Eyebrow Scale of Non-Negligent Parenting

[…]

Read more →

The OC S01 E02 – Dibs on boyfriends.

by Sara July 3, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E02 – Dibs on boyfriends.

So my first experience with The O.C. came during a very lonely summer in my life, after I’d graduated high school. See, I graduated a semester early which meant I couldn’t really hang out with my high school friends anymore because it was weird but also that I couldn’t make any college friends because I was the mid-semester starter and didn’t know anyone. So I worked at Blockbuster every night and spent my two free rentals a week on old TV shows. This is the story of how my love affair with The O.C. started. I stayed up until 3 AM every night for weeks and missed many, many 8 AM English classes because of this shit.

Lorraine: I know this is the first recap, but I can already tell this will be my favorite, “The O.C. and me” story.

Read more →

The OC S01 E03 – #richpeopleproblems

by DemocracyDiva July 7, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E03 – #richpeopleproblems

Hello, Snark Nation! It’s a pleasure to be covering this episode of The O.C., one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure shows. I had pictures of Seth Cohen on my wall and the show’s soundtracks playing on a constant loop throughout my high school career, so I feel qualified to present you with this recap.

Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I’m glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.

Read more →

The OC S01 E04 – Did someone say AWKWARD?

by Karina July 10, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E04 – Did someone say AWKWARD?

After a lot of previouslies we open with Seth and Ryan playing video games. Ryan has mastered the art and is beating Seth. The student has become the master so to say. Just then, the Cohen parents walk in, wanting to talk to Ryan. The suspense is killing all of us, I know, right?! Like, what could this possibly be about? Seth is being his weird self, mentioning something about the rug which I have no idea whether it will be necessary information or is just a stupid throwaway comment. Moving on.

The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen’s only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan’s legal rights.

Read more →

The OC S01 E05 – Wax on, Seth Cohen

by Lion July 14, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E05 – Wax on, Seth Cohen

We open with Ryan and my boyfriend Seth Cohen (Just to be clear, I just want Seth, aint even ’bout to homewreck the first couple of teen fandom: Adam Brody/Leighton Meester) in true show-set-in-California style, riding a bike and skateboard (adorably) down a boardwalk with flashes to random dudes playing beach volleyball to further indicate being in a coastal town in SoCal.

Sweeney: The best part of having different recappers write their posts, mostly without ever seeing the posts that came before them is going to be seeing how many people stake their claim on Seth Cohen. Since you’re my sister I feel especially obligated to interject with a, “HE WAS MY TV BOYFRIEND FIRST!” even though I’ve accepted that he’s actually everyone’s TV boyfriend.

Read more →

The OC S01 E06 – Hello, Mrs. Robinson

by Jessica July 17, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E06 – Hello, Mrs. Robinson

After the previouslies, we start off with a shot of the Cohen car filled with food. Sandy “Eyebrows” Cohen makes a crack about feeding Kirsten’s dad to get his love, and while that probably won’t work on Mr. Evil Corporate man, that would definitely work on me. Just sayin’. (S: Cosign.)(L: And another +1 makes it a party.)

Kirsten’s dad (Caleb) enters and cheerfully calls himself the devil so we don’t have to. Outside, Seth and Ryan talk about Caleb, and how he’s Mr. Big Money. Seth points out that he, like Ryan, came from humble beginnings and they’d probably hit it off.

Read more →

The OC S01 E07 – Hot mess

by Marines July 21, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E07 – Hot mess

Sweeney originally called dibs on this episode, but she’s still having grand adventures in Europe, so I told her I’d trade her. (S: And I let go only because I had to because this is an iconic moment in OC history, guys.) Explanation as to why we’re taking a guest posting break and you’re stuck with me over, let’s get to the episode:

Seth practically chases Ryan into the kitchen, trying to convince him that some plan he’s come up with is foolproof, since he goes to a comic book convention every year around this time and his parents trust him.

Read more →

The OC S01 E08 – The Marissa Settlement

by Stephanie July 24, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E08 – The Marissa Settlement

We begin in the Cohen kitchen. Sandy, Mama Cohen, Ryan and Seth are standing around looking somber on account of Marissa being in the hospital thanks to all those Mexican painkillers. They’re too upset to eat bagels, (L: What even?) (RIGHT?) so Mama Cohen sets up the premise of the episode. Ryan has a meeting with the dean of Rich Kid High, and Sandy and his eyebrows are starting a new job. Just as they’re about to get ready for the day, the phone rings and they all turn to look at it like, “MARISSA!” Personally, I’d rather eat bagels than deal with her.

Lorraine: Also, if they just stare at the phone, they are all doing phone calls wrong.

Sweeney: Or really, really right, since I hate talking on the phone.

Read more →

The OC S01 E09 – I may vomit

by Molly Deininger July 28, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E09 – I may vomit

We open with a Cohen family breakfast and a Marissa/Summer powwow at Jimmy’s apartment. It’s back to school time for the kids and everyone is nervous. Seth’s nervous because he’s a huge loser; Ryan’s nervous because he’s about to go to a new school with a bunch of Lukes; Marissa’s nervous because she is a complete and total trainwreck and almost offed herself in Tijuana; Summer’s nervous because, actually no, Summer’s not nervous because she’s just better than the others. Summer reminds her human disaster of a friend that she has to plan the school carnival because she’s still the social chair. I’ve always wondered how people on television shows have enough time before school to hang out at their friends’ houses and gab about life. I was lucky if I had time to make a Toaster Strudel before hauling my ass to school.

Read more →

The OC S01 E11 – Terrible Plans 101

by Sweeney August 4, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E11 – Terrible Plans 101

Seth is pleading with Kirsten to put the recipe books away. She’s desperate to treat Ryan to a proper family Thanksgiving, but Seth is convinced that Kirsten’s cooking will destroy a holiday that he waits for all year. Even Eyebrows has to note that she’s not inspiring a lot of confidence when she doesn’t even know where the pans are in the kitchen.

More awkwardness ensues when she tries to ascertain what to do with the turkey. Were people not widely aware of the power of Googling yet in 2003? Google could answer your questions, Kirsten. (L: Complete with instructional Youtube video! …were people Youtubing in 2003?) (S: Sadly, no, that didn’t start until 2005.) Seth and Sandy both jump in to volunteer to do stuff, leaving Kirsten with the useful task of answering the phone.

Read more →

The OC S01 E12 – And Now, A Public Service Announcement

by Melodie Mason August 8, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E12 – And Now, A Public Service Announcement

I preface this with this bit of knowledge: I have never watched the OC. All I know about it is that they are in the “OC” which I think is in California somewhere, I want to say Orange County? Which I think is Los Angeles…ish? Look at me figuring things out all by myself! I’m sure I can figure out this teen-angst-plot-drama-rama with just one episode!

This episode is called “The Secret.” Unless the secret is that someone is Batman, I am not interested. However, I promised and while this isn’t a show I would watch on my own, it certainly has to have some loltastic moments in it. Any show, no matter how straight and serious, has loltastic moments.

Further up and further in! After the previouslies, we start off with an establishing shot of California with some peppy music.  (L: “A long time ago, we used to be friends…)

Read more →

The OC S01 E15 – Give that man a bagel.

by Anna May August 18, 2014 Season 1
Thumbnail image for The OC S01 E15 – Give that man a bagel.

Friends, Snark Ladies, Traumateers, lend me your ears. Or failing that, a one-off spot on your blog. Hello, or something. (L: HI.)

We start episode fifteen with some slightly obnoxious-sounding early-noughties jingly rock-pop, in the kitchen of what is rapidly becoming the Cohen Family Rehabilitation Centre for Strays and Fuck-Ups (seriously, does this family have to fix everyone?) (L: Yes, because Plot. I’m waiting for an adorable dog to show up.) (S: THAT WOULD BE THE BEST.) Hailey is sitting at the table with her earbuds in, trying as hard as she can to look like a moody teenager, and Sandy walks in only to look like someone kicked his puppy when he sees she’s nicked his bagels.

Read more →