Youth Mauling Bear

The Youth Mauling Bear is perhaps the most beloved character in all of Traumaland. Lor first introduced us to, of all things, a biblical story, while recapping a Sweet Valley book. We fell so in love with the idea, that we began imagining the YMB, as we call him, into nearly all the rest of our stories. Lor is pretty sure she gets Jesus points or something for this.

Just to make sure she gets those points in full, here is the post-excerpt (from SVH #5) that birthed the YMB:

Maybe it’s all this talk of woods and bears and annoying youths, but I am reminded of something: There’s a little known story in the Bible about the prophet Elisha. See, he was walking along one day, minding his own business, doing official prophet things I’m sure, when some “youth” started yelling at him and basically called him baldheaded. Elisha was bad ass though, and was all, “I curse you in the name of Lord, yo,” and he kept walking. Some time later, two female bears just came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youths.

This might be the first time I’m reading SVH and wishing it were more like the Bible. Where the heck is a youth mauling bear when you need one?

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