snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

Crossover Magic

Covering a series with a spinoff means that characters have pulled from each other’s lives and we get super flaily when they are brought back together. Sometimes we just make up crossovers in our own glorious head canon. Either way it’s magic.

Supergirl S01 E18 – Hi, Barry!!

by Samantha October 6, 2016 Season 1
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Yaaaaaaaaay it’s the Supergirl/The Flash crossover episode!!!!!! I watch The Flash, over on Supergirl’s new home, The CW. I enjoy it A LOT more than Supergirl. It’s my favorite currently airing tv show, even if the season 2 finale DID enrage me. ANYWAY I’M EXCITED.

Catherine: Good that you’re keeping your expectations in check here, Sammy.

Samantha: Shoot for the moon!!!!! Or maybe Saturn!!!

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E11 – Keep All Your Old Letters

by Chelsea September 30, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Chelsea: We open on Dawson and Pacey fishing, because they’re friends again now? Dawson drops the bombshell on Pacey – he likes Gretchen. Pacey makes a Say Anything reference, which only makes me love him a thousand times more.

Kirsti: Dawson is 100% the guy who would stand outside your house holding a boombox over his head. 100%.

Chelsea: Dawson brings up the fact that the last year would have been so much easier if Pacey had just been upfront with how he felt about Joey (woah, dude, maybe ease up on poking that particular wound) (K: Oh puh-leeeze, Dawson. If Pacey had told you about Joey, you would have cracked the shits) and Pacey says “yeah, but sisters are off limits.

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Supernatural S05 E08 – What’s on the telly?

by Kirsti February 17, 2016 Season 5
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We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m so excited.) “Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience,” Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room – which has a huge and very clean kitchen – Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. “I’m gonna need a bigger mouth,” he says. Canned laughter.

Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what’s happening. “Just the end of the world!” Sam says, all upbeat.

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Doctor Who S03 E09 – Bits and pieces

by Marines September 18, 2015 Doctor Who
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We start the episode right where the last one left off with Viserys Targaryen giving John Smith the ultimatum to either save Martha or Joan. John Smith is clearly at a loss, but in the background Latimer (baby Jojen Reed…) pulls out the Doctor’s pocket watch. He opens it and we see some of that magic Timelord ejaculation float up from it and a voice whispers, “Time Lord.” The aliens all freak out, giving Martha an opportunity to break out of alien!Jenny’s grasp and grab the gun, like a total badass.

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Pretty Little Liars S05 E07 – Convenient Clues

by Jessica August 11, 2015 Pretty Little Liars
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We open on a class of students diligently at work at Rosewood High School. Just kidding! Emily is walking around the halls with her mom, who’s talking about Skype conferences with teachers while she was in Texas.

Marines: I like that the show feels it necessary to try and fill in the gap of why Emily basically doesn’t have parents. Cute, show. Like we care. 

J: That’s more effort than they’ve put into a lot of plot lines in this show. Maybe they hired some vaguely responsible-feeling writer late in the game? (M: Ha.)

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The OC S03 E11: Operation Free Marissa.

by GeGi July 3, 2015 Season 3
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First off, like so many guest recappers, I have to admit this is the only episode of the O.C. I’ve ever seen. Everything I know about the show comes from reading Snark Squad posts, which basically means I’m pretty sure this is a show about Sandy Cohan’s Eyebrows being the paradigm of good parenting, and also trying to interpret what Ryan and Marissa’s expressions mean. (M: Damn, we’ve done a good job of capturing the essentials!)

ANYWAY, we open with the staring foursome drinking “mocktails” and having a meta conversation about winter break and the show – I mean school – starting back up.

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Supernatural S04 E07 – Crossover weirdness

by Kirsti June 24, 2015 Season 4
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We open two days before Halloween with people setting up their front gardens and shit. IDEK, you guys. Australia doesn’t do Halloween. It’s kind of hard when it’s spring and everything’s green and leafy, and it doesn’t get dark until 8pm…

Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.

K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don’t have to talk to people. Or dress up.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E15 – Remember this?

by Kirsti June 15, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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Remember that whole thing from AN ENTIRE SEASON AGO where Joey was into art? Yeah. Apparently she’s into art again, because she’s painting a mural on a wall at school. She’s also borrowed Buffy’s Overalls of Overall Sadness. (D: Between this and the tabula rasa” reference later in the episode, I’m considering this two #crossovermagic episodes in a row.) (K: Motion carried.) Pacey walks up and smiles at her fondly. I flail a little. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he’s hoping he’ll absorb some of her genius by osmosis or something. Joey joins the dots and realises that he’s been kicked out of home again. Pacey says that his eldest sister has left her husband and moved home, along with her small screaming children. Oof.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E14 – Jen the Vampire Slayer

by DemocracyDiva June 8, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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We open with Dawson trying to teach Joey how to drive stick. She gives up, because Dawson’s condescending lessons are spectacularly unsuccessful, and Pacey pops his head up from the back of the truck to complain. Joey tells Dawson that he’s no Lloyd Dobler (obviously, because Lloyd Dobler is the cutest and Dawson is the worst), who was very patient when teaching Ione Skye how to drive in Say Anything. Dawson says Joey just isn’t listening to him.

Kirsti: Which is totally fair because Dawson’s a dick and his instructions are terrible.

Diva: YUP

Pacey asks if Joey is seeing her college boy tonight for Valentine’s Day, but he’s too busy with exams.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E11 – We created canon!

by Kirsti March 26, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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We open at Capeside High. Dawson gushes to Joey about a particular type of camera and how it’s a million times better than shooting video and blah blah, I honestly don’t give a fuck about anything this dude has to say. They head to the film classroom to get the camera, and Kendra’s there fiddling with it. She and Joey exchange some polite small talk, then Dawson tells her to hand over the camera. She’s all “LOL NOPE” because she just checked it out for the next month. He gapes like a goldfish and Kendra says that she cleared it with the film teacher. Dawson wants to know when he’ll get the camera, and she tells him that film making is an art that can’t be rushed.

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Supernatural S03 E07 – Crossover Vampires

by Kirsti March 11, 2015 Season 3
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Night. A fancy Mercedes is parked by a deserted looking bridge. Bela returns to her car with a briefcase that’s presumably full of money and gasps when she sees someone reflected in the window behind her. It’s Gordon, though she doesn’t know that. He introduces himself and she looks momentarily freaked. She says that she’s heard of him, and thought he was in prison.

Anna May: MORE BELA YAY. Also it’s been so long since I watched Supernatural in a non-snark capacity and I’m rapidly realising that I’m not far off a Snow here– I’ve completely forgotten who Gordon is. Guess I’m going to find out.

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How to Get Away With Murder S01 E12 – Metal, steel, or JUSTICE.

by DemocracyDiva March 10, 2015 How to Get Away With Murder
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We begin with a news report that tells us, yup, Sam Keating’s body was definitely found, because you guys are bad at getting away with murder. (M: Okay, so don’t throw the body away in a trash can. Got it.) Dumbledore’s Army debates whether Annalise ratted them out, and we play another fun round of “no, it’s your fault!”

Meanwhile, Frank is in his car, being angry and bearded.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E10 – Needs more Pacey. REALLY.

by DemocracyDiva February 23, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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Shrine O’Spielberg. Dawson is watching his Really Dumb Witch Island Movie. Joey climbs in the window just to make us all aggravated when the episode has barely begun. Dawson is nervous about an upcoming screening of his Laughably Terrible Witch Island Movie, but Joey reassures him that it’s great and will help him make his dreams come true or some bullshit like that. (K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sure it will, Joey. Sure it will.)

Joey also helpfully exposits that she has a contrivance college tour this weekend where she’s staying with a random student.

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Supernatural S03 E05 – Who’s the fairest of them all?

by Kirsti February 18, 2015 Season 3
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Maple Springs, New York. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as we pan across a billboard for a housing estate that starts “Once upon a time”. You know, just in case you couldn’t tell this was going to be fairy tale themed. We pan down further to the construction site where three somewhat chubby brothers are talking. There’s a growly sound and one looks around. His brother pooh-poohs the noise, and the trio go back to arguing about whether they should be using cinder blocks or bricks rather than timber in the construction, because “One gust of wind and the whole place is gonna blow over!”. Do you get who they are yet, or should the writers hit us with the obvious anvil a few more times?

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How To Get Away With Murder S01 E10 – We’re all in this together.

by DemocracyDiva February 12, 2015 How to Get Away With Murder
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Welcome back to Shondaland! Let’s see if the new year has brought us some new love for these characters. Probs not, though.

Marines: I like that you at least mentioned the possibility! That’s positive.

Diva: I try.

We begin, as we always should, with a stripped-down, natural Annalise in front of the mirror. This is already so much better than any episode that starts with the murder!bonfire. The Voiceover Police question Annalise about why she thinks her husband murdered Lila. She explains that he’s “missing.”

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