snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

kids are dumb

This is pretty self-explanatory, but it is such a common theme of the staple Childhood Trauma books, that it needed a tag. Time and time again we are reminded of how utterly stupid silly children are.

As someone invested in education, I need to have a sidebar with this excellent, topic-relevant, but completely contradictory Philip Pullman quote:

“Children are not less intelligent than adults; what they are is less informed.”

All I’m saying is: Philip Pullman clearly hasn’t read the BSC.

The OC S04 E06 – Pretty Little OC

by Ryan July 30, 2016 Season 4
Thumbnail image for The OC S04 E06 – Pretty Little OC

The last OC episode I recapped for Snark Squad had a lot of future Twilight actors and according to IMDB, this episode has a mini Pretty Little Liars get-together. Crossover magic is a thing I attract, apparently.

We open to Ryan staring at a fantasy of Taylor sexily dancing on the Cohen’s kitchen counter with some very big hair.

We go to Ryan’s POV and see Sandy offering him pre-smeared bagels, which he vacantly accepts. Ryan asks about Seth who appears to announce he’s leaving for Rhode Island. Again.

Read more →

Goosebumps #039 “How I Got My Shrunken Head” – Island Edition

by Karina July 10, 2016 Books
Thumbnail image for Goosebumps #039 “How I Got My Shrunken Head” – Island Edition

A while ago I asked Mari if I could hijack Snark Squad to do a Goosebumps post since I had found one of the books at my local library and she was a total sport about it. And then Samantha volunteered as tribute to be my trusty sidekick which is how we got here. (S: Hello!) Truth be told, I didn’t read Goosebumps as a kid or teen so this is an adventure for me on more than one level. (S: Omigosh same, I was a super scairdy cat!) I was an Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie (yes, even at that time) kind of reader.

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E09 – The facial expressions win the episode.

by Samantha February 20, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E09 – The facial expressions win the episode.

The boys are burning rubber in the Impala as dramatic music plays. They pull up to a hotel and hurry out of the car when Dean double takes because there are several other ’67 Chevy Impala’s in the parking lot, exactly like Baby. Sam tells him to hurry up and we see Chuck pacing outside of the hotel. They hurry over to him and he seems super confused as to why they’re there. Sam is all “You sent me a text, bro and said it was life or death.” Chuck denies this and Dean is pissed because they drove all night. Realization seems to hit Chuck’s face and he oh nos. We hear Becky’s OMG voice say, “Sam!” and squealing. She runs up and Sam remembers her name which causes her to almost orgasm. Dean eye rolls hard and Becky says that Sam seems to have been thinking about her.

Read more →

Supernatural S03 E14 – This is why I don’t answer the phone

by Kirsti April 25, 2015 Season 3
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S03 E14 – This is why I don’t answer the phone

We open at a big house on a rainy night. Inside, a middle aged guy paces back and forth, and jumps when the phone rings. The caller ID reads “SHA33”. He answers, and tells the woman, Linda, on the end to stop calling. She begs him to “come to me“. He hangs up on her. The phone starts ringing again. He answers and tells Linda to leave him alone. Linda says that they could be happy together and that she loves him forever. Ben hangs up. When the phone rings again, he picks up the receiver and slams it down several times, then rips the phone out of the wall and throws it across the room.

Read more →

Pretty Little Liars S04 E06 – Bird leads

by Marines October 3, 2014 Pretty Little Liars
Thumbnail image for Pretty Little Liars S04 E06 – Bird leads

Detective Tanner is preparing her coffee as she says that Hanna won’t tell her anything about the gun she was apparently burying on a college campus. Tanner offers Hanna some coffee, and quips that she doesn’t need a lawyer to answer that question. This is Rosewood, though, so you never know. Hanna turns down the offer. Tanner switches tactics and tells Hanna what she knows: Han was carrying a concealed weapon without a license, the gun is a .38 caliber revolver that holds six bullets, but only had four. Hanna could be looking at up to a seven-year-charge for just having the gun. Tanner asks Hanna to reconsider who she is protecting.

Sweeney: In Hanna’s defense, I think there is literally nobody in Rosewood who actually remembers why they’re doing anything at this point.

Read more →

Supernatural S02 E02 – WHY.

by Kirsti September 3, 2014 Season 2
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S02 E02 – WHY.

First of all, NOBODY LOVES A CLOWN. NOBODY.

Right. Now that’s out of the way, let’s get to the episode. Medford, Wisconsin. A young girl looks excitedly around a carnival while her parents look bored. She gets excited about clowns, and her dad’s all “NOPE.” She waves at one particular clown, which waves back, but neither of her parents can see it. Cut to them driving home. She sees the same clown out the car window. Cut to her getting out of bed that night and seeing the clown standing on her back lawn. She goes downstairs and lets it in because SHE’S A FUCKING IDIOT.

Read more →

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E06 – Definitely sisters

by Kirsti September 19, 2013 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Thumbnail image for Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E06 – Definitely sisters

We open at the Magic Box, where they’re having their Halloween Bone-anza, and they should REALLY have thought up a different name for that because that does NOT sound like something I would want to attend. (L: Lots of bone jokes lately…) ANYWAY. Xander’s dressed as a pirate and is trying to tell a small child dressed as a fireman that he found the bottle of fireflies he’s holding off the coast of Kathmandu. The small child is dubious, and I am too because apparently Xander’s never cracked an atlas in his life.

Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that’s a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.

Read more →

Pretty Little Liars S02 E04 – You should’ve known, girl.

by Marines September 6, 2013 Pretty Little Liars
Thumbnail image for Pretty Little Liars S02 E04 – You should’ve known, girl.

Spencer goes back to the pawn shop to get Melissa’s wedding ring. The shop owner is surprised to see her. We pan out of the shop and see that Emily, Aria and Hanna are waiting for their friend out in the skeevy alley, prepared to give us the Early Episode Exposition: Dr. Ex-Fiance Wren gave Melissa something unidentified last episode and Emily got a fake scholarship letter from A.

Back inside the pawn shop, the owner hands Spencer back a horseshoe. Spencer freaks out and says she gave him a ring, though he plays dumb and says not according to her ticket. Spencer demands that he find her ring, and he hits her with a, “or what? You gonna call the police?”

Read more →

Pretty Little Liars S01 E07 – Learn About It

by Sweeney June 14, 2013 Pretty Little Liars
Thumbnail image for Pretty Little Liars S01 E07 – Learn About It

We pick this episode up exactly where the last one left off and our Pretty Little Liars are running through the halls looking for Emily. They consider splitting up, but resolve to “split up together” when nobody wants to be left alone to get picked off by Creepy Toby who they probably incorrectly believe to be A.

Lorraine: Hey, I’m awarding points for at least knowing that you don’t wander around alone looking for the guy who comes with his own murder-y soundtrack.

Sweeney: This is true. I forgot about his murdery soundtrack.

Read more →

Pretty Little Liars S01 E05 – True Love Waits Until After High School

by Sara May 31, 2013 Pretty Little Liars
Thumbnail image for Pretty Little Liars S01 E05 – True Love Waits Until After High School

Sara: The PLLs are all at Spencer’s house, where parents don’t exist, talking about the note A sent to Aria’s mother. I would much rather have seen A send a note about Aria dry humping her teacher. Does A have a request line?

Lorraine: Or perhaps she’s hiring? CALL ME A! I have references!

Sweeney: Pages and pages of your qualifications for the job, in fact. She need only visit this blog for proof of all the training you’ve received.

Read more →

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E06 – I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

by Kirsti January 10, 2013 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Thumbnail image for Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E06 – I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby

I’m going to start out by saying that this is one of my all time favourite BtVS episodes. I love it so freaking much. Everything about it is phenomenal, and nothing you say can convince me otherwise.

We open in the cemetery at night. Buffy sits on a picnic blanket as Giles reads from a book: “‘And on that day, an era came to its inevitable end’. That’s all there is.” Just when you’re thinking big apocalypse-y prophecy, NOPE. SAT prep.

Lorraine: Same, same but different!

Read more →

Rugrats S04 E01 – Or birth control with a side of education.

by Marines December 19, 2012 Uncategorized
Thumbnail image for Rugrats S04 E01 – Or birth control with a side of education.

[…]

Read more →