sorry I have to shave my hands

“I have to shave my hands” was added to the arsenal of Snark Lady excuses thanks to RL Stine and that instant classic, My Hairiest Adventure. Larry, the protagonist, rubs a creamy, white substance all over his body and starts to grow thick patches of hair. These two things are unrelated, as (spoiler alert!) Larry turns out to be a dog. Mid-thick-hair-growing, Larry has to run out on band practice to shave his hands and that was our light bulb moment.

Using this as an excuse has the added bonus of scaring people out of ever inviting you anywhere else again. It’s kind of like saying “Hi, I never want to spend time with you” while giving the person the feeling that they are the ones making that choice. It’s the polite thing to do.

Stranger Things S01 E05 – Who’s paying for this funeral? thumbnail
Supergirl S02 E09 – So cheese. thumbnail
Pretty Little Liars S05 E16 – Sorry, I’m in an air duct. thumbnail
Gilmore Girls S01 E03 – It’s never just golf. thumbnail
After Chapter 04 – Khaki is for virgins. thumbnail
The OC S04 E10 – Endearing but WHAT EVEN? thumbnail
Game of Thrones S03 E03 – Big mistake. HUGE. thumbnail
Supergirl S01 E12 – I doomed the ship. thumbnail
Supergirl S01 E03 – Nonsense reasons. thumbnail
Supergirl S01 E01 – A whole lot of episode. thumbnail
The OC S02 E18 – WE WANT SHOW TUNES. thumbnail
Charmed S02 E06 – Second hand embarrassment thumbnail
The OC S02 E13 – Shower more frequently. thumbnail
Pretty Little Liars S04 E18 – Dramatic Chickpea Reveal thumbnail
Dawson’s Creek S03 E03 – Cheating won’t get you a 1430 thumbnail