snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

We really love Harry Potter

That headline says it all. We love Harry Potter and we talk about it all the time in all the things and we just want you all to come to Hogwarts with us, all right? All right.

Here are a few times where things reminded us of Harry Potter:

Supergirl S02 E04 – Super not even trying.

by Catherine January 16, 2017 Season 2
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We open on Daxam on The Day that Krypton Died. Fireballs are raining down on the planet and Mon-El and the Prince are running. They find a Kryptonian Ship that some dead emissaries left behind. Mon-El insists that the Prince escape in it but the Prince admits he cannot fly it. Mon-El gets in to pre-program the destination and then the Prince shut him in because he’s wounded and wants to go down with his planet.

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Breaking Dawn Chapter 05 – Facing the unknown

by Catherine January 6, 2017 Books
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[…]

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Doctor Who S04 E15 – Stingraliens

by Kirsti January 4, 2017 Doctor Who
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International Gallery. Four armed guards take their positions around a force field meant to protect a big ass golden goblet. I’m going to show you how they are protecting this and you tell me if you see any lapses in security:

Kirsti: As a former museum curator, THIS IS THE WORST SECURITY OF ALL TIME. Why the eff would you spend that much on laser systems and paying security guards and, you know, NOT PUT THE FREAKING OBJECT IN A SHOWCASE WITH BUILT IN ALARMS AND BULLET PROOF GLASS?!?!?!?! Sense: this doesn’t any make.

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After Chapter 17 – Nice is a bad word.

by Marines January 3, 2017 After
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We ended the last chapter with Tessa asking Hardin why he doesn’t like her. He wants to know why she would even ask that. Tessa says it’s because she’s been nothing but nice to him (questionable) (S: Probably… not… though…) and she thought they could even be friends (in between judging his tattoos?). Hardin laughs at her because it’s obvious why they can never be friends: she’s too uptight and he thinks she probably grew up in the perfect home where she never had to work for anything. Well, we know she dresses like a Sunday School teacher Hardin, but that is presumptuous.

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Gilmore Girls S01 E01 – Emotional music and boy banter.

by Marines November 28, 2016 Gilmore Girls
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This past weekend the Gilmore Girls revival premiered on Netflix. Why not choose this moment to start our journey from the very beginning?

A title card and jaunty yet dated music bring us to a street in the quaint town of Stars Hollow.

Annie: I know it’s early for me to be already interrupting, but Pilot!Stars Hollow was filmed in a small town near Toronto. I visited it last year and all these years later, it really, really looks like Stars Hollow to me. (Sorry, sorry, sorry).

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BrainDead S01 E07 – Pure Torture

by Dani Denatti September 14, 2016 BrainDead
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For this episode’s “Previously on BrainDead” song, Jonathan Coulton pretends he wasn’t just as worried as the rest of us when the space bugs got to Laurel.

Once again, we begin where the last episode ended — with Laurel and Gareth at the bar, trying to make things normal again, and Laurel saying she thinks bugs are eating people’s brains and making them stupid. Because that’s a totally normal thing to say.

Gareth is thrown by this, and Laurel admits she is, too. He asks about the bugs but struggles to take any of it seriously.

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Doctor Who S04 E12 – #squadgoals

by Kirsti August 3, 2016 Doctor Who
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The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He’s surprised to see that everything’s perfectly normal. Donna’s too busy being all, “so that was Rose Tyler, huh?” (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor’s moping over her…) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they’ll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.

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Supernatural S05 E22 – I’m your density!

by Kirsti July 6, 2016 Season 5
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CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! (S: THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DOOONE.)

That’s right, friends. It’s the final episode of the season, and that means it’s time for the previouslies to take us right back to the beginning and remind us of all the major plot points from the past five seasons that may prove relevant here. But mostly it means a full minute of jamming to Kansas because I have not so secretly terrible taste in music.

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Doctor Who S04 E08 – Actual spoilers.

by Kirsti May 25, 2016 Doctor Who
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Unsurprisingly, this episode which features archaeologists and libraries, is one of my favourites. Because it’s freaking amazing.

Marines: I’m with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we’re already squeeing and the episode hasn’t started yet. I’M SO EXCITED.

K: Close your eyes, and tell me what you see,” says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she’s in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It’s Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)

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Game of Thrones S06 E02 – Jesus Jon Superstar

by DemocracyDiva May 5, 2016 Game of Thrones
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The previouslies are a warning to the audience: you definitely don’t remember any of this stuff. Theon’s dad and sister! Lord Karstark getting beheaded by a still-alive Robb! Bran knows a really smart bird!

Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.

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New Moon Chapter 21 – Smell-o-vision

by Marines April 1, 2016 Books
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Bella ends up in an “unremarkable” room, which she then remarks on for a paragraph. (K: THANK YOU. That annoyed me so much.) Edward is glowering at the hallway as Jane leads them to an elevator. Once inside, the Volturi Vamps relax and take off their cloaks so Bella can comment on their olive complexion which looks “odd” combined with their chalky pallor. Only the palest, truest white for Bella Swan.

Kirsti: She also talks about their eyes, saying that, “their irises were deep crimson around the edges, darkening until they were black around the pupils.” ….black around the pupils. Which are also black. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU TELL WHERE THEIR IRISES ENDED AND THEIR PUPILS STARTED?!

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Supernatural S05 E15 – The Bathilda Bagshot incident.

by Samantha March 30, 2016 Season 5
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We open at a cemetery where it’s storming and hands start reaching out of the graves. Soon, a guy crawls all of the way out.

Kirsti: It was very Buffy-esque, to be honest, and I still can’t decide if it was intentional or not.

Samantha: Head cannon that it was intentional.

A man is watching an animal documentary and drinking a beer. There’s some scare fake outs and then zombie guy is in the house. He kills beer guy.

BLOOOOOOOOOD.

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Doctor Who S04 E03 – Revol-Ood-tion.

by Marines February 16, 2016 Doctor Who
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A business-y man watches a commercial for an Ood and talks about it with someone on the other side of a wrist communicator. Business is down so they are dropping the price all the way to 50 credits. After the wrist conversation is over, Business Man tells a nearby Ood to pull some military reports, because the military are always looking for some extra help.

Another call comes into Business Man’s watch, just so we’re super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it’s the wrong one. The Ood says that’s irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.

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Doctor Who S03 E12 – Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

by Kirsti October 31, 2015 Doctor Who
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An alleyway somewhere in London. “VOTE SAXON” posters are plastered all over the walls. A blue swirly vortex appears and out pop Jack, Martha and the Doctor, courtesy of Jack’s wrist cuff. They all immediately make NYARGH-y sounds because time travel without a capsule is horrible. Jack’s impressed that they made it to the right place and the right time, but the Doctor says “That wasn’t luck. That was me.

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Supernatural S04 E13 – Back to school

by Kirsti August 15, 2015 Season 4
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We open with a preppy blonde cheerleader uttering the words “She’s such a slut,” so that we can get our misogyny shots out of the way early. The jock next to her at the lunch table says he’s “pro-slut” (SHOTS!) and asks for further details. She provides them, then stops as the girl in question approaches the table and goes to sit in her usual spot. But LOL NOPE, society is the worst and all her friends fake-cough “SLUT!” at her until she storms off to sit at another table.

Marines: She can’t see it now, but it’s a better table, far from slut-shamers and almost equally as bad, people who would ever fake cough a word.

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