snark squad | where nostalgia comes to die

what are you trying to tell me zoomy camera man?

Doctor Who S05 E01 – It’s definitely new.

by Marines April 19, 2017 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S05 E01 – It’s definitely new.

I remember portions of this episode very vividly. I think I took a break between the end of Ten’s tenure and the beginning of Eleven; enough of one that watching this episode felt like jumping into a new experience in more ways than just the changes that came with it. I stopped watching Doctor Who with Matt Smith because we started this recapping project, and I figured I’d catch up to more recent seasons when we got there to recap. I was young and optimistic and thought that would be sooner rather than later. lol.

Read more →

Designated Survivor S01 E07 – Health Inspector Tom

by Marines December 1, 2016 Designated Survivor
Thumbnail image for Designated Survivor S01 E07 – Health Inspector Tom

We pick up right where we left off, with the FBI examining Nassar’s dead body. Atwood instructs some soldiers to bring him the names of anyone who handled his food, DNA, fingerprints and camera footage. Atwood then walks to Hannah and very shiftily comments that now no one knows the truth about Nassar. Hannah’s like, “uh, we do…?” But they don’t have proof. Hannah says they need to follow-up with the one lead they have: Catalan. Atwood is scared, though, because if they are the only two who know about Catalan, that means they’ll be targeted next.

Read more →

Doctor Who S04 E14 – TARDIS 2.0

by Kirsti October 8, 2016 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S04 E14 – TARDIS 2.0

And so we enter the weird sort-of season. I honestly can’t remember the entire story behind why there was this series of specials instead of a whole season, but I think it had something to do with David Tennant being cast as Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production and it being far more successful than they’d planned??? Or something?

Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.

Read more →

Game of Thrones S06 E09 – It’s basically Woodstock.

by DemocracyDiva July 13, 2016 Game of Thrones
Thumbnail image for Game of Thrones S06 E09 – It’s basically Woodstock.

Ladies and gentlemen, you could’ve been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in Winterfell. Are you ready for a BastardBowl?

Catherine: Get hype! We’re probably gonna be in tears before this is over. 

Diva: We’re probably gonna be in tears before this starts.

The previouslies remind us that the battle for Winterfell is imminent, Shireen Baratheon loved the toy stag that Davos gave her (see – I’m already crying!), the Greyjoys are en route to Meereen, and the slavers are trying to blow up Dany’s pyramid just as she deboards her dragon.

Read more →

Doctor Who S04 E08 – Actual spoilers.

by Kirsti May 25, 2016 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S04 E08 – Actual spoilers.

Unsurprisingly, this episode which features archaeologists and libraries, is one of my favourites. Because it’s freaking amazing.

Marines: I’m with you on the library and the amazing and the favorite and we’re already squeeing and the episode hasn’t started yet. I’M SO EXCITED.

K: Close your eyes, and tell me what you see,” says a voice. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as a little girl floats over a huge city and says that she sees the library. When she opens her eyes, she’s in her living room, talking to a psychologist named Doctor Moon. (M: It’s Colin Salmon, who I best know as Walter Steele in Arrow!)

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E18 – Family feels and queerbaiting

by Kirsti April 30, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E18 – Family feels and queerbaiting

Is anyone else going to spend the rest of the recap singing Phantom of the Opera, thanks to this episode title? No? Bueller? Okay, fine. I’ll actually recap this thing.

Samantha: Unfortunately, Phantom is one of the musicals I don’t know by heart yet, but I am going to kick things off with this gif in celebration of the 100th episode!

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E15 – The Bathilda Bagshot incident.

by Samantha March 30, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E15 – The Bathilda Bagshot incident.

We open at a cemetery where it’s storming and hands start reaching out of the graves. Soon, a guy crawls all of the way out.

Kirsti: It was very Buffy-esque, to be honest, and I still can’t decide if it was intentional or not.

Samantha: Head cannon that it was intentional.

A man is watching an animal documentary and drinking a beer. There’s some scare fake outs and then zombie guy is in the house. He kills beer guy.

BLOOOOOOOOOD.

Read more →

Doctor Who S04 E06 – This is… incestuous.

by Kirsti March 3, 2016 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S04 E06 – This is… incestuous.

We pick up exactly where we left off, with the TARDIS vworp vworping off to God knows where, Martha still on board. The controls aren’t responding, and the Doctor says he has no idea where they’re going, but his spare hand is super excited about. Donna’s all “Your spare WHAT?” and Martha briefly explains. (M: Donna, girl. You never noticed the bubbling hand?) The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor pokes his head out into an underground tunnel, full of barbed wire and shot up sheets of metal. Martha whispers to Donna that she loves this bit, where the Doctor works out where and when they are.

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E10 – Who lives, who dies, who tells your story

by Kirsti February 24, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E10 – Who lives, who dies, who tells your story

In the process of setting up this post, I realised which episode this is, and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. DO NOT WANT. Can we just skip ahead and pretend this one doesn’t happen?? No?

Well, fuck. Let’s raid the Supernatural drinks fridge and do this thing.

Samantha: Oh my god, I started drinking a full 24 hours before in preparation. NO PLEASE.

K: We open with a middle-aged dude in a limo pulling up under a freeway interchange. He buries a box in the dirt. “Mr Pendleton, I presume?” comes a British voice from behind him. He turns around and it’s MARK SHEPPARD!! Mark Sheppard is in at least one episode of basically every show I’ve ever loved.

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E08 – What’s on the telly?

by Kirsti February 17, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E08 – What’s on the telly?

We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m so excited.) “Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience,” Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room – which has a huge and very clean kitchen – Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. “I’m gonna need a bigger mouth,” he says. Canned laughter.

Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what’s happening. “Just the end of the world!” Sam says, all upbeat.

Read more →

Supernatural S05 E07 – Dean is Hamiltrash.

by Samantha January 27, 2016 Season 5
Thumbnail image for Supernatural S05 E07 – Dean is Hamiltrash.

We open with a woman on the couch reading one of those trashy magazines that declares the Apocolypse here. A man comes in the front door and she greets him but he just runs straight upstairs. He heads into the bathroom all sweaty and panicked. He looks into the mirror as his skin begins to wrinkle and his hair falls out. He turns into an old old man and collapses into a cabinet. (K: It’s very…Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)

Read more →

Doctor Who S04 E00 – Hark the herald angels kill

by Kirsti November 28, 2015 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S04 E00 – Hark the herald angels kill

We start where we left off – with the Titanic crashing into the TARDIS. After his “What?“s, the Doctor fiddles with something on the console panel, and the TARDIS is pulled off the ship. The hole in the side magically fixes itself, and the TARDIS vworp vworps onto the Titanic. The Doctor dusts himself off and heads off to explore. It’s all very Downton Abbey, with a piped orchestral version of Jingle Bells. There are also creepy animatronic angels standing around. Because, you know, we haven’t had enough angel related trauma already on this show. (M: I just want to blink freely.)

Read more →

Doctor Who S03 E10 – The littlest ship

by Kirsti September 23, 2015 Doctor Who
Thumbnail image for Doctor Who S03 E10 – The littlest ship

I’m really curious to recap this episode, because it’s easily been one of my favourites up until now. (Which is odd because it’s written by Steven Moffat, and I’ve basically hated everything about his time as show runner…) But favourite things don’t always stand up to being watched incredibly slowly, so…we’ll see.

We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There’s a “Danger: Keep Out” sign on the gate.

Read more →

The OC S03 E13 – Call me if you need weed!

by DemocracyDiva August 3, 2015 Season 3
Thumbnail image for The OC S03 E13 – Call me if you need weed!

The previouslies are helping me remember how much I hated new!Kaitlin (BRING BACK SHAILENE WOODLEY) and the infuriating way she speaks like she’s got a permanent mouthful of cotton candy. I haven’t seen the previous episode in at least seven or so years, but it’s all coming back to me now.

Cohen House Breakfast Where Everyone Is Way Too Awake For Such An Early Hour But At Least There Are Bagels. Sandy’s big day involves building a hospital, a project he inherited from Caleb. Except they’re still competing with another firm to get the project, or something? Whatever, the important thing is that Sandy needs his lucky tie and Kirsten already got it cleaned for him because these two are an awesome team.

Read more →

Dawson’s Creek S03 E20 – Fuck you, showrunners.

by DemocracyDiva July 16, 2015 Dawson's Creek
Thumbnail image for Dawson’s Creek S03 E20 – Fuck you, showrunners.

We begin with a Joey voiceover: she asks if you’ve ever had a day you wanted to live all over again. Like one in which they made out with Pacey, I guess.

Kirsti: Legit, girl. Legit. I think we’d all like to live that day over and over again.

Diva: I want a life-gif of that day.

Dawson and his dad show up to Pacey’s boat with some champagne. They’re greeted by Andie, Jonathan Lipnicki (who I guess is officially part of the family now), and the rest of the gang, save for Pacephine.

Read more →