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fashun

Fashion choices best characterized by the following phrases: “GIRL.” “Oh, honey.” “LOLWHUT?” “Anything Claudia Kishi wears.”

Charmed S03 E09 – The Blood of Dwight Schrute

by Marines May 17, 2017 Charmed
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[…]

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Designated Survivor S01 E09 – Wearable Wallpaper

by Dani Denatti March 16, 2017 Designated Survivor
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We begin at night, in some random office building. A middle-aged guy sits in his cubicle, looking around furtively as he copies something onto his laptop. Then we get an aerial shot of him sitting in a bathroom stall, opening said laptop with a screwdriver, and then removing a tiny storage chip from the hard drive inside it. Not sure that’s a thing, but let’s go with it. (S: The only way to survive SnarkTV, really.) He places the chip into a tricked-out quarter that opens to reveal a cavity that perfectly fits a tiny storage drive. Cool!

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Charmed S03 E06 – Empathetic

by Marines February 8, 2017 Charmed
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Prue is in the kitchen trying to telekinesis a fork off the counter. We hear the tinkle that usually follows her powers, but the fork won’t move. Phoebe walks in having some kind of a fashion meltdown, but since her Pocahontas-inspired handkerchief top is no worse than 99% of what she’s always wearing, IDK what the emergency is. When Phoebe realizes that Prue can’t move the fork, she worriedly asks if Prue’s lost her powers. Prue says you can’t lose what you never had and disappears.

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Charmed S03 E05 – A woman’s right to a crystal security system.

by Marines January 5, 2017 Charmed
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We open at P^3 where Phoebe is sending over drinks to one of Prue’s Generic Dates. Piper comes over to inquire if he’s been stood up since Prue’s caught up in a demon research obsession..

Phoebe changes the subject to Piper’s love life. Piper admits that her and Leo haven’t been sleeping together because Leo keeps being orbed out whenever they get frisky. Does this mean Leo appears before The Powers That Be totally naked or can he redirect the orb-travel to a closet first?

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Game of Thrones S06 E10 – I’m watching it burn.

by Catherine September 8, 2016 Game of Thrones
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It’s only been six weeks (at the time of writing this) between recaps, you guys. That’s like a hot second to Melisandre. And don’t pretend you didn’t need some time to digest this madness before digging in. Now that I’ve made myself feel less guilty for delaying this so long, let’s do this fucking finale.

Catherine: Ha! Smart. But honestly, we have so long until the next season starts that us delaying this long just means that you guys won’t have to wait that extra six weeks for season 7 posts to start? Maybe? 

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Charmed S03 E03 – Not those kinds of tweens.

by Marines August 17, 2016 Charmed
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Piper is tending to the bar at P^3 when Leo comes in. He needs to talk with her, but first they have to get their no-chemistry kissing on. When they break away, Leo says that he came to say goodbye because The Powers That Be won’t ever let them be together and all the usual nonsense we’ve been over a zillion times. His voice gets all dream-echoey and Piper can’t hear what he’s saying anymore even though it still sounds pretty clear to me. He backs away, mouths, “I love you,” and tinkles away. It’s a bit early for my gag-reflex to kick in, but there it is.

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E07 – Subtext Should Be, Well, Sub

by Chelsea August 4, 2016 Dawson's Creek
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Open with Joey in the guidance office, being told by an very well-coiffed counselor that “it suits you,” the ‘it’ in this situation being the panicky doe-eyed look that Joey seems to have as a high school senior applying for colleges. Someone should probably tell the counselor that’s just how her face is, though. Joey makes a crack about just going to clown college but the counselor reassures her that she’s actually doing really well on the whole process. Except, of course, for a completely arbitrary (and possibly made up) peer-review from ‘the person who knows her best’ which will OF COURSE necessitate a choice between Pacey and Dawson.

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Game of Thrones S05 E10 – Shame, Shame, Shame.

by Marines January 28, 2016 Game of Thrones
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I’m so scared.

Democracy Diva: Me too.

Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis’s tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he’s a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.

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The OC S03 E23 – Why are teenagers so dramatic? Because they aaargh!

by Dim January 7, 2016 Season 3
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Hi everyone, time for the potted history of The OC and me- I LOVE this show! At age 17, this was my life. I laughed, I cried, I flunked my AS levels due to bingeing on the boxsets instead of studying. I even wrote an article about it for my school magazine entitled “The OC: why we’ve all gone Obsessive Compulsive over Orange County.” I’m actually not allowed to watch any of the dramatic episodes, or the final episode, because I cry so much that my sister always rushes in from wherever she is to see if I’ve finally impaled myself on one of the glass swans that my parents are so fond of. (I’m very clumsy, it could happen.)

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Charmed S02 E20 – Chimps or Monkeys?

by Marines January 6, 2016 Charmed
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Breakfast at the Halliwell Manor. Phoebe asks Piper if she got “the postcard” from Dan and I’m confused because aren’t they not on good terms after he attacked her boyfriend for being a liar and a war veteran? Apparently he’s having a great time wherever he is, so… great?

Marines: He probably only sent the postcard because he’s having a good time and stupid ex-girlfriends need to know that.

Stephanie: Anyway, Piper is distracted by a letter from the doctor that treated her when she got sick from handling space fruit. Yup, we all wanted to revisit that plot.

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Charmed S02 E17 – The horrors of being single.

by Marines September 19, 2015 Charmed
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A bunch of old women stand in a circle, calling on something named Cryto. One of the ladies has a little coughing fit, but she urges the others to keep chanting. Even though they’ve been at it for 15 minutes, she’s sure Cryto will show up.

Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode’s title? 

Mari: Absolutely!

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Orphan Black S03 E05 – Trust no one

by Jessica September 14, 2015 Orphan Black
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Helena is lying on the floor of her cell, bruised and bloody after being beaten by her captors for killing Parsons. Remember- she stabbed him in the brain? Yeah. Kinda hard to forget. Also, the Castor military folks weren’t too happy about that.

Marines: I mean, to be fair, they started it. 

J: And Helena brought it! They seriously did not know what they were getting into when they allowed her into their picture.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E22 – Pacey in formalwear.

by DemocracyDiva August 6, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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Joey and Dawson walk-and-talk about finals. They arrive at the Leery Manor porch, and Dawson starts word-vomiting about some pact. Apparently they agreed to go to junior prom together many moons ago, and Dawson insists they should go, but he says “as friends” so many times that I’m positive he’s full of shit.

Kirsti: I’m not sure whether I’m more horrified that Dawson’s making such a huge deal of JUNIOR PROM or that he’s holding Joey to a promise she made over two years ago. Either way, DUDE, NO.

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The OC S03 E13 – Call me if you need weed!

by DemocracyDiva August 3, 2015 Season 3
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The previouslies are helping me remember how much I hated new!Kaitlin (BRING BACK SHAILENE WOODLEY) and the infuriating way she speaks like she’s got a permanent mouthful of cotton candy. I haven’t seen the previous episode in at least seven or so years, but it’s all coming back to me now.

Cohen House Breakfast Where Everyone Is Way Too Awake For Such An Early Hour But At Least There Are Bagels. Sandy’s big day involves building a hospital, a project he inherited from Caleb. Except they’re still competing with another firm to get the project, or something? Whatever, the important thing is that Sandy needs his lucky tie and Kirsten already got it cleaned for him because these two are an awesome team.

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E19 – HMAS Pacephine

by Kirsti July 3, 2015 Dawson's Creek
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In order to adequately recap this episode, I need to start with Snark Lady Storytime: once upon a time (read: July 3rd 2014) in a faraway kingdom (read: Snark HQ), two Snark Ladies were trying to work out how best to recap Dawson’s Creek after season 1. Should we alternate? Stick exclusively to odds/evens? Or alternate and then split the season finale? And I’m not going to lie: my decision was made solely based on the fact that I’d get to recap this episode, and Diva was nice enough to not interfere.

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