Buffy the Vampire Slayer S03 E21 – Surrounded by BAMFs

Previously: Angel broke up with Buffy in the sewers, Cordy’s poor, and someone tried to ruin Senior Prom. But Buffy triumphed and was named Class Protector. Aww.
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Graduation Day, Part 1

Kirsti: We open with Cordy and Xander picking up their graduation robes. They’re maroon, and Cordy’s pissed because she desperately wanted teal. Oh, honey. I’m not sure that would have been an improvement… (Also? All of this makes NO sense to me, because Australians graduate high school in our school uniforms. Graduation robes are reserved for universities.) There’s some typical Cordy/Xander bickering, which culminates in Xander saying that he wants to look dignified in his robes seeing as how he’s probably going to die in them – he’s gotten lucky too many times, so his number must be up. IF ONLY.

Sweeney: IF. ONLY.

Lorraine: He’s playing the “and then he dies” game, guys. That thing is only accurate like 27% of the time and that number is inflated by Westeros.

K: Too true. Over on the stairs, there’s all kinds of Bonding With People Who Were Mean To You over the signing of yearbooks. Because it’s spectacularly horrific, I’m going to show you Harmony’s outfit:

 

Buffy appears and is all “Dude, don’t you hate Harmony?” Apparently it’s a sickness, and Willow’s going to MISS ALL THE THINGS about Sunnydale High.

Sweeney: GRADUATION GOGGLES. They are absolutely a real thing.

Lor: I missed a chunk of my senior year, thanks to college classes and Senioritis. I guess my goggles got lost in the mail.

K: I think I got teary on my last day, but that was part “I WILL MISS MY FRIENDS” and part “I NEVER HAVE TO WEAR THIS HIDEOUS HAT EVER AGAIN!!!!”

Buffy, on the other hand, is immune due to extreme my boyfriend broke up with me in the sewers mopeyness. She says that she’s going to skip graduation because of the whole Ascension thing. At that, Xander appears with the cheery news that the Mayor is going to be the commencement speaker at graduation. Ruh roh. Buffy wants to know if the Mayor has any other surprises in store.

At that, we cut to an apartment filled with old shit, including a dude in a bowtie and cardigan. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Faith. The Mayor sent her. Apparently he’s interested in Professor Bowtie’s research, which is code for “please murder him.” Faith pulls a knife, and pins Professor Bowtie against the wall before getting her stab on. The camera pans across a Japanese ink drawing of a volcano before we fade to black. Roll credits.

Over at Faith’s Kept Slayer Apartment, the Mayor is tidying up while asking her how the murdering went. In yet ANOTHER creepy daddy/daughter moment, Faith appears in an outfit the Mayor brought for her – a pink floral dress. It’s pretty unflattering, but the Mayor gets all, “Don’t you look pretty!” at her. Faith is less than sure, and I concur. The Mayor gives her a pep talk, saying that the Ascension isn’t just about him; it’s her day to show the world how powerful she is. And then he says no father could be prouder than he is of her. Ew.

Sweeney: There is a definite EW to their relationship, but I also really do love it. Everything that he says about her not knowing who she is yet is true for basically anyone at that age. He’s a creepy dude, but his concern for Faith does seem genuine.

Lor: I’m not buying genuine.

K: I buy the genuine. I think it’s something that grows each time you watch the show.

At school the next day, Percy shows Willow that with her help, he got a B- on his history final. She’s all proud, until he’s like “YEAH. Graduation = forgetting all this crap!” Willow looks disappointed. Oz tries to help, saying “On the bright side, after graduation, he may not have the chance to forget it all.” Oh, Oz. Try for less morbid, more upbeat next time. Willow says they need to find a spell to stop the Ascension.

In “It’s Practically the Last Day of School, So Let’s Play Hangman” class, Anya strikes up a conversation with Xander. She wants to go on a date that weekend, and it’s crazy awkward. (S: I just want to hug her. I LOVE ANYA.) (ME TOO) Xander says that maybe if he survives the Ascension… and Anya gets panic face. (S: I forgot that she’s not in the Scooby-know yet. Weird.) We segue magic over to the Wiggins Library where Buffy has randomly joined the dots on the “PROFESSOR MURDERED” headline in the paper and Faith. Meanwhile, Wesley and Giles are fencing. Giles does so while reading the newspaper and it’s BRILLIANT.

Buffy and Giles get all “Hmmm, I wonder why the Mayor stopped to kill Professor Bowtie on his way to world domination? Clearly HE KNEW SOMETHING.” Wes says Buffy should go investigate. Giles tells her to be careful in case Faith turns up. Wes thinks she shouldn’t get distracted with Faith when they should be focusing on stopping the Ascension. At that, Xander and Anya enter, wearing SRS BSNSS faces. “You guys wanna know about the Ascension? Well, meet the only living person who’s ever been to one.” Xander says.

Sweeney: AND I LEGIT FLAIL, BECAUSE YAY MORE ANYA. Sorry. I’ll stop this eventually. Maybe. Or maybe you all just have FOUR SEASONS of this to sit through.

K: I’m totally Team Anya Flail. She’s awesome. Speaking of, we cut to Anya filling them in. Summary: Ascension = BAD. Wesley gets all “Hold on, that type of demon isn’t that bad,” and Anya says “You’ve never seen a demon.” The gang get all “LOL, WHUT?” because HELLO? Sacred calling mixed with Hellmouth equals ALL THE DEMONS. But apparently the demons that Buffy kills are human/demon hybrids. The Ascension means a human becomes pure demon. And that means bigger. MUCH bigger.

Sweeney: How is this demon v. hybrid distinction not a thing that our not-one-but-two Watchers didn’t know? That’s the sort of thing that would be mentioned in their books.

K: RIGHT???

Outside in the courtyard, Snyder is telling the Mayor about the plans for graduation as people set up chairs in the background. The Mayor tells Snyder that he’s done well, keeping order on the Hellmouth, and that he’ll get his reward in the days to come.

Lor: For his part, Snyder looks all, “no thanks! I’ll pass on the reward…”

K: Cut back to the Wiggins Library, where the gang are still grilling Anya. But then, GASP. The Mayor walks into the inner sanctum. He rabbits on about how it’s nice to see kids reading, and Buffy sasses him. At that, he turns to Giles:

Giles runs him through with his fencing sword, which obviously does a world of nothing but is still pretty great. The Mayor leaves the gang looking super panicky, and we fade to Not Ad Break.

Lor: A few things on account of I’ve never seen this before: Terrific acting in this scene. I was legit anxious and nervous and the Mayor is just SUCH a good villain. He doesn’t do a single violent thing in this entire scene, but it’s just so frightening. The different reactions of the Scoobies are great, from Giles and Wesley rising protectively, to Oz pushing Willow behind him. Also, an interesting choice of words there with the “raised.” It goes back to the whole Faith/father thing, in a way that makes me reconsider what Sweeney said about his concern being genuine. I’m not sure if I’m ready to call it concern, but it’s clear that he truly sees the Slayers as girls to be molded and fathered. EW. And, as Kirsti said, A+ for Giles and my once-a-post reminder that I love him.

K: Agreed on everything you said. Also, bonus points for finding a gif of stabby Giles. In the hallway, Anya’s making a run for it. Apparently there’s no way to stop the Ascension, and she plans to get as far away from Sunnydale as possible. Sensible girl, that one.

Lor: At this point Cordy comes up to Xander and asks him what’s going on. He tells her about the Mayor getting his kill on and unfazed, she asks him about fifth period. I went back and forth on whether or not I liked this little bit. I just think it’s interesting how comparatively immune the Scoobies have become to destruction.

K: True. If it hadn’t felt so disjointed given how “WE HATE EACH OTHER” Cordy and Xander have been in recent episodes, I think I would have liked it more.

Back at Buffy’s, Joyce gets home to find Buffy packing, and gets all “REALLY? AGAIN with the running away?” But nope. The bag’s for Joyce. But Joyce won’t have a bar of it until she makes a joke about a demon attacking the school, and follows it up with “Oh…” She can’t leave Buffy to fight demons on her own, but Buffy gets pep talky: “I wish I could be a lot of things for you. A great student, a star athlete, remotely normal. I’m not. But there is something I do that I can do better than anybody else in the world. I’m gonna fight this thing, but I can’t do it and worry about you.” It’s a pretty great speech, and Joyce gets is all “UGH, FINE.” One less thing for Buffy to worry about on graduation day.

Sweeney: It’s an absolutely lovely speech, with a million points to Buffy for being the best in the history of ever. For all of Buffy’s secrets and shenanigans she’s a much better daughter than Joyce is a mother.

K: Over at Willow’s, she and Oz are researching. She’s frustrated about how useless her magic books are proving to be, unless she wants to communicate with shrimp or make ferns invisible. Oz, in the way that only Oz can, replies “Our lives are different from other people’s…”  Too true, dude.  Willow gets all “PLEASE DON’T MAKE JOKES,” and Oz asks if it would help if he panicked. Willow gets a case of panicky word diarrhoea in response, and Oz stops her with a kiss. “What are you doing?” she says. “Panicking.” And awwwwww…

Sweeney: THEY’RE THE CUTEST.

K: SO FREAKING MUCH. Cut to Buffy investigating Professor Bowtie’s apartment. She’s packing important looking stuff into a box to take to Giles when Angel trips his way in. Literally – they were moping the hallway, and it seems vamp stealth can’t deal with wet floors. He’s all “Let me help you with that, little lady.” Buffy’s all “Dude. I can take a box of stuff to Giles on my own,” but Angel’s being all chivalrous. Which is funny, because where the hell was his chivalry when he dumped her in the sewers?? (Sorry, Sweeney…)

Sweeney: It’s whatever. I’ve already read the 900 “Y U DUMP IN SEWER?” emails. I’ve just banished everyone to the Asshole Corner so I can raid the liquor cabinet alone.

Lorraine: It wasn’t chivalry at all, it was an awkward WHAT DO I DO NOW gesture. Angel has fought side by side with Buffy. He knows she can carry her own box.

K: The more I think about it, the more contrivance-y him even being there is…

They bicker, and Buffy makes a comment about how this is her last office romance. With the power of foresight, I’m gonna go with “LOL FOREVER. Nice try.”

Lor: I know we’ll get a ton more, “OMG IS IT OVER YET?” comments but this scene is great. They really aren’t communicating well, it’s awkward, Angel accuses Buffy of being a brat, and he’s the one that threw her box down on the floor. I was highly entertained.

K: Buffy’s on the verge of tears when an arrow appears through Angel’s chest – Faith’s doing her Jeremy Renner routine again. “Missed the heart,” her vamp minion says. “Meant to,” Faith replies. And we fade to black.

Back at the Wiggins Library, Giles and Buffy are pulling the arrow out of Angel. He’s being stoic guy on account of he heals fast. Meanwhile, Wesley is reading Professor Bowtie’s notes. Apparently he found a carcass buried in an ancient lava flow, and thought it might be a new type of dinosaur. But the gang know better – demon. Giles gets a lightbulb above his head about why the Mayor wanted it kept secret – if an Ascension-y demon died, it means that his magic invincibility power wears off once he’s demonified. And they can fight him. Somehow…

Meanwhile, Angel collapses – the arrow Faith shot him with was poisoned. Giles sets out to find out what the poison was while Buffy gets Angel home and Wesley musters the troops. Angel sweats up a storm (ew) while Buffy looks worried. Cut to Willow’s, where there are now clothes strewn around the room. (L: Her shirt conveniently blocking Rat Amy’s cage. Rat Amy appreciates it.) Willow and Oz are snuggling, and it’s adorable.

Willow gets word vomit-y again:

Willow: “I feel different, you know. I-I guess that makes sense. Do you feel different. Oh, no, you’ve already, probably, no big change for you. It was nice. Was it nice? Should this be a quiet moment?”
Oz: “I know exactly what you mean.”

Awwwwwwwww. They’re doing some mild post first time making out when Buffy rudely interrupts them and makes the show all about her problems again the phone rings. Time to go.

Over at the Mayor’s office, Faith’s filling the Mayor in on the whole Angel-got-shot thing. He, on the other hand, is carrying around the Box of Gavrok. It’s time for another Ascension ritual, and this one requires him to eat several of the spider beasties. Ew. Faith gets all “Got anyone else who needs murdering?” because she’s too wired to sleep. But what she’s really saying is “Please let my creepy father figure still need me once he’s a giant demon beastie thing…” The Mayor tells her that he’s always need her, and it would be touching if it weren’t for all the creepy evil.

At the school, Willow and Oz are researching the poison. Will sends Xander on a run to the magic shop to get supplies. When he leaves the chemistry lab, Anya’s lurking in the shadows. She wants Xander to go with her, because “When I think that something could happen to you, it feels bad inside. Like I might vomit.” Aww. Anya, honey, that’s just a natural reaction to being around Xander at this point. SorryI’mnotsorry. (S: BUT ANYA. ANYA FEELS. SQUISH.) Anyway, he says he can’t go on account of he has to stay and fight with his friends, and Anya is her completely awesome and literal self and says “Are you really going to be that much help to them? I mean, you’ll probably just get in the way.” Word, sister.

Sweeney: “Fine, I hope you die.” Xander walks away. “Aren’t we gonna kiss?” I love her.

Lor: Good scene for Anya. She really does make Xander more likable so far. In that past episode or two he’s been so much more tolerable.

K: She makes EVERYTHING better.

Cut to the Brooding Bungalow. Angel’s in bed, all sweaty and gross, while Buffy wipes his face with a cloth. Wesley enters to tell them that HOLY CRAP BUFFY REALLY NEEDS A BRA OR SHE’S GOING TO KNOCK HERSELF OUT WITH A BOOB the Council has refused to help on account of they kind of stand for killing vampires, not nursing them back to health. As a result, Buffy gets BAMF-y:

Wesley: The Council’s orders are to concentrate on…
Buffy: Orders? I don’t think I’m gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you, not from them.
Wesley: You can’t turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They’re in England. I don’t think they can tell which way my back is facing.

Giles, also a BAMF, sides with Buffy.

Sweeney: My favorite moment from him is before he even speaks. He looks from Wesley to Buffy as he realizes what she’s doing and there is this incredible look of pride with a dose of mischief. I fucking love it.

K: Wesley gets all “MUTINY!!!” but Buffy makes an apt reply:

Sweeney: BAMF BUFFY FTW.

Lor: I struggle with Wesley’s part in all of this. He isn’t blameless, as he more supports the CoW than Buffy’s BAMFness, but two things (1) – he has a legit point about this being a distraction and (2) – He’s the bearer of bad news. I’m not sure what they want him to do at this point, other than have news that isn’t the Council won’t help.

K: True. I think it’s less Buffy reacting to Actual Wesley and more Buffy reacting to Wesley As A Representative of The Watcher’s Council. She leaves to help the others while Giles stays with Angel. And she tells Wesley to “get a job” when he tries to stop her. LOL.

Back at the chemistry lab, Willow’s found the poison. It’s called “Killer of the Dead.” And the only cure is to drain the blood of a Slayer. D’oh. “Good,” Buffy says, and the gang get “DUDE, WTF??” faces. Apparently they’ve forgotten that Sunnydale is suffering from an excess of Slayers right now, and apparently Buffy has negative a millionty problems with killing Faith if it saves Angel. Which, I know Faith is evil and all, but SERIOUSLY?? This is not the best plan ever…

Sweeney: I’m with you on the “Seriously??” because she was just talking about not being able to kill Faith. We did the I-can’t-kill-you-until-I-really-really-have-to game with Angel in S2, but that was a way different matter. I’m never pro-Angel-death, but she had to kill Angel to save the world. Across seven seasons, when we get to the actual world-ending (aka, season finale) she’s consistently willing to make the hard choice to save the world. Killing Faith to save Angel is not the same thing. I mean, yeah, it’s a baddy-of-the-moment for a good-guy-of-the-moment, but still.

Lor: I’m so glad you guys got here as it was the one thing I had to mention. Killing Faith in a fight would be one thing, but Buffy going to actively find her and kill her? Oh dear. This REALLY muddies the waters of what has always been her very clear cut stance on the preservation of life. I can’t believe she’s making this decision.

K: SRSLY. In the library, Willow and Oz are generally being super adorable but mostly searching recent rental agreements for where the Mayor might have put Faith up while Buffy grabs Faith’s crazy murdery knife from the weapons store.

Lor: Just to give credit where it’s due, Xander voices our concerns about losing Buffy, in the metaphorical sense. It’s super! significant! as she stands there holding Faith’s Murdery Knife.

K: As Buffy stares at the knife, we head into an 80s teen movie style montage – Faith preparing for battle, Buffy staring at herself in the mirror, Angel being sweaty and gross some more. The montage ends with Willow at the computer, having found the address. We cut to Faith’s Kept Slayer Apartment, where she’s reading comics and blasting rock music. She’s also wearing glittery jeans, which I find incredibly confusing. (S: Also hilarious. I totes had some Limited Too glitter jeans in 1999. I adored them.) Buffy, dressed in red leather pants and a black leather jacket to show she’s playing a bad girl role, appears in the background and shuts off the music. Faith asks if Angel’s dead yet, and Buffy BAMFs that he’s not going to be on account of she’s going to feed him Faith’s blood. Faith channels the swagman in Waltzing Matilda, and Buffy says that she’s okay with not taking Faith alive.

They circle each other, and Buffy throws the first punch. The fight escalates quickly, and they do a pretty good job of trashing the apartment. They end up smashing through a window and onto the balcony. While Faith shakes off the “Holy fuck, I just flew through a window” confusion, Buffy handcuffs Faith to her.

Cut to the Wiggins Library, where Giles has found a story from the villagers near where Professor Bowtie found the dead demon, so now they know what kind of demon it is. Giles finds a picture of it in a book, and Xander folds out the leaf in horror, saying “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

Lor: They also unfold the picture centerfold style, and I giggle.

K: Over at the Mayor’s office, he has a mouthful of spider legs and it’s kinda gross:

The vampire minion that’s standing by has a face that indicates he agrees with me. Also, I’m sort of curious what they made Harry Groener pretend to eat until they did $5 worth of special effects to create the legs… Anyway, apparently the spider beasties are super powerful, and he can feel his body starting to get ready for Ascension. Mostly, his stomach makes noises like he’s eaten too much Taco Bell and he should probably stick close to the bathroom for the next few hours, but sure! A vamp minion enters to say that there’s trouble at Faith’s. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN.

Sweeney: Much like I enjoy watching Cersei Lannister squirm for her daughter, I love his OMGMYBB face.

K: We cut back to the balcony where the fight is still going strong. Faith breaks the handcuffs apart and grabs a handy nearby metal pole, preparing to hit Buffy with it. Buffy pulls out the crazy murder knife in response, and Faith gets super pissed on account of it’s hers. They fight some more and end up on the edge of the balcony with a several storey drop to the street below them. Faith grabs Buffy, but she breaks free and stabs Faith in the gut with the crazy murder knife. “You did it. You killed me,” Faith says.

Buffy looks on in horror. Faith, meanwhile, climbs up on the ledge of the building and looks down to see a truck approaching. “Shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride.” she says, and falls backwards off the ledge, landing unconscious in the bed of the truck. Buffy scrambles to the edge in time to see the truck driving off into the distance with Faith’s body in the back of it.

TO BE CONTINUED.

 

Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, will Angel die again? Will the Mayor’s Ascension go ahead? And will the gang survive graduation? Find out in S03 E22 – Graduation Day Part 2.