Previously: Teenage!Connor came back and tried to kill everyone. Angel saved him from being killed in a shoot out with the cops, and to say thanks, Connor ran straight back to Holtz.
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Benediction
Kirsti: Do you have any idea how many times my fingers inadvertently wrote “Benedict Cumberbatch” while trying to write the name of this episode? (It was two. Which was still two too many, really.) ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel’s still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They’re saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor’s responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor’s name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn’t responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel’s all “*shrug* He’ll find me if he needs me.” The gang are all “Um, wow. Way to parent,” but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
Lorraine: Yeah, no, I support his neglect. I mean, I know that Connor has some legit trauma and stuff, but also his whole, “YOU AIN’T MY DADDY,” spiel is enough for me to accept Angel’s “okay.” Mostly because I suspect it’ll only be temporary.
K: OR WILL IT?
He says that Connor will come once he realises what he needs. “A father,” Cordy says quietly. That cuts us across to a dodgy motel and Connor saying that he needs a room for him and his father. Holtz walks up beside him. Cue electric cello.
After the credits, we’re at the dodgy motel the next morning. Connor walks out of reception carrying a newspaper, and sees a guy using a vending machine. He has a “how does technology work” moment, then lifts the machine up and smashes it down. Cut to him walking back into the motel room with an armful of snacks. Holtz grabs eagerly at the newspaper, and is staggered to learn that it’s only been a few days since he jumped into the Quor-toth.
Lor: This confirms that Angel being all “I should’ve never given up!!” instead of saying, “dude, I lost you a few days ago. Chill.” last episode was stupid.
K: YUP. Connor says that he doesn’t like LA – there’s too many people and it’s nothing like home. Holtz points out that Quor-toth wasn’t their home, it was their prison. He’s proud of Connor for finding a way out.
Connor tells Holtz that he shouldn’t have followed him through the vortex, because Connor would have gone back to Quor-toth after killing Angel, and apologises for not being able to actually do so. Holtz points out that Connor doesn’t have it in him – he’s only ever killed for survival. Besides, Holtz knows that he wanted to see Angel, to know if what Holtz has told him was true. He tells Connor to go to Angel, to learn about him and use it against him, but to be on his guard because the devil will tempt him at every turn. I’m going to just stop for a second to marvel at the fact that while fighting for survival in a demon dimension, Holtz deemed religious education to be a priority. SURE, SHOW. WHATEVER.
Sweeney: Blogging the show has made Holtz an insufferable character. I know I should feel bad about his very serious trauma, but I hate every single thing he does. (L: Hate. Yep.)
K: I don’t think it’s blogging the show that’s done that. I felt pretty much the same way about him the first time I watched AtS.
Hyperion. Fred’s wiring up an army surplus Geiger counter (they sell those at army surplus stores in the US?? All we get are jerry cans and fatigues…) with a bigass shiny crystal. Apparently it will tell them if anything else came through the portal, as well as giving them a trail to follow. Cordy heads upstairs in search of Angel. Groo sad-pandas at her back. Angel’s taking out his feels on a punching bag. Cordy fills him in on the whole mystical Geiger counter plan and says that he’s doing the right thing. “What if he doesn’t come back?” Angel asks quietly. Cordy has no reply.
Lor: Her hair is speaking tons though, but not in any language I can understand.
K: A+.
Downstairs in the courtyard, Groo’s still sad-panda-ing. Lorne asks him what’s wrong, and Groo says that he’s confused as to why Angel would just sit around waiting for Connor to come to him when Angel moved heaven and earth to get him back. Lorne tells him that sometimes the best course of action is no action and that if a thing is meant to be, it will be. “And if a thing is not meant to be?” Groo asks. Lorne tells him that just because someone hopped through a dimension doesn’t mean it will turn out. Groo smiles sadly, and Lorne’s all “OH SHIT, SUBTEXT.” Groo walks into the middle of the courtyard. “It is a beautiful day. If my princess asks, tell her I’ve gone for a walk,” he says. There’s a long pause and then he finishes with “If she asks.” He walks out the gate, leaving Lorne looking concerned.
Back upstairs, Angel is opening up to Cordy. He says that Connor feels further away now than when he was taken, because he never really gave up on finding him and was counting on getting to see him grow up. Now? He’s stuck with the shitty teen years. He thought they’d have years together before Connor hated him. Ouch. Cordy says that Connor can’t hate him because he doesn’t know him, and that he’s definitely going to come back. Angel seems unconvinced.
Sweeney: No, you definitely don’t need to know people to hate them.
K: Agreed. Wes’ apartment. He sits alone, peeling the top off the universal sign of sadness and desperation – a microwave dinner. He’s pouring himself a glass of red wine – which will definitely help cover up the taste of the food – when his computer beeps. He walks over to it to find an anonymous instant message telling him to come to a particular address later that night. And to come alone, because OBVIOUSLY.
Hyperion. Fred’s wandering around with her mystical Geiger counter, the Fang Gang following behind her. It gives her a strong signal where the portal was, then she starts to pick up traces around the lobby. She follows the trail, with the signal getting stronger and stronger, and bumps into Connor, who’s standing in the doorway. She makes an awkward apology to him, then turns the mystical Geiger counter off and scurries back to join Gunn. Connor looks a little embarrassed, while Angel looks hopeful. Connor says awkwardly that he thought he’d stop by, like Angel suggested. Angel introduces him to the gang as Steven, and they all promptly find an elsewhere to be. Gunn and Fred head outside to use the mystical Geiger counter some more, Lorne heads upstairs (Connor eyes him disgustedly as he passes), and Cordy heads into the office.
Angel and Connor stand facing each other, looking much like I do at a party – slightly awkward, not knowing what to say, arms crossed. Angel eventually asks if Connor’s hungry and, when Connor says he is, suggests that they go out. Just then, Cordy starts yelling. She’s mid-vision, which is at a nightclub, and she’s yelling over the music that no one else can hear. There’s a gang of vampires about to attack a woman, she hollers. Angel turns to Connor and says that he has to go out for a while. Connor says it’s fine and starts heading for the door. Angel suggests that he come too, because YAY FIGHTING and Connor turns back, suddenly interested. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, we’re at the club. We pan up through the various floors, then zoom in on Wes looking down at the dance floor. “I see you got my invitation,” Lilah says from behind him. She sasses at him that she thought the “come alone” part of her invite was a nice touch on account of how he has no friends LOLOLOL. Wes is not amused and goes to leave. She stops him and points out Justine, sitting alone at the bar. She went to a lot of trouble to arrange this, she tells him. Wes is unimpressed and walks away. Lilah calls after him that if he leaves now, he’ll miss Justine getting murder-faced.
Wes turns back and asks what the hell is going on. Lilah says smugly that “some source” (read: her) tipped off Justine that the club was going to be full of vampires and also tipped off all the vampires that the club was going to be full of Justine. “And you thought I’d enjoy a box seat for her slaughter…” he says before telling Lilah that she doesn’t know anything about him. He turns to go, but she gets all up in his space, wondering out loud whether he’s going to go straight to his car or warn Justine first. He realises that she’s testing him, and gets pissed. She tells him not to stress because she’ll have Justine pulled out before she gets killed. “I don’t think that will be necessary,” he says as he stares down into the crowd at Angel.
Cut to Angel and Connor walking through the crowd. Angel tells Connor that this is his chance to kill a vampire, and hands him a stake telling him to make sure he goes for the heart and to make sure he sees vamp grill before attacking. Just then, he spots Justine at the bar. She sees him and her eyes widen. She drains her beer and slams some money down on the bar as Connor asks Angel why he kills his own kind. Angel says that he’s not like them, and tells Connor to stay put just as the bartender vamps out and grabs Justine. The guy next to her at the bar also vamps out. The bartender drags her across the bar as two other vamps grab at her feet. She kicks them backwards, and Angel promptly stakes them as Connor watches.
The bartender throws Justine into the shelves of bottles behind the bar as Angel is surrounded by three vamps and a watching crowd, including Wes. Justine screams in pain, and Connor leaps into the fray. Angel thinks Connor’s there to help him, but Connor runs straight past him and attacks the vamp holding Justine. Up on the balcony, Lilah asks “Who’s the boy wonder? He moves just like…” “His father,” Wesley finishes. She stares at Wes for a second. Downstairs, Connor helps Justine up and they stare at each other for a second. Angel drags Connor away and tells Justine to run. He and Connor turn back to the remaining vamps. There’s a brief lull, in which they end up side by side. They give each other a little smile, then start fighting again. Up on the balcony, Lilah asks if Wes is interested yet. But he’s already gone.
Sweeney: Everyone’s insta-realization of the batshit crazy fact that Connor has returned from the demon dimension a few days later and 16-17 years older is ridiculous.
K: YES.
One of the vamps makes a run for it, and Connor follows him, ending up in a deserted alley. He walks slowly forward, stake raised. He closes his eyes for a second, then spins, going for the kill. Angel grabs his wrist before the stake connects. They stand like that for a second before Angel hits Connor’s arm, making him spin around and stake the vamp behind him. Connor looks everywhere but Angel as Angel tells him to be careful because vampires don’t make any sound or breathe. He tells Connor that he fought well, and that it’s good to know he can handle himself. He fakes an attack, and Connor stumbles back, startled. Then he smiles a little and throws a fake punch of his own. They play fight, laughing, as the camera pans up to show us Holtz watching from the darkness above.
Seizure cut to the dodgy motel and Connor eating Oreos in a rather aggressive fashion. Holtz walks in, and Connor’s whole demeanour changes. He tells Holtz that Angel is everything he said, that Angel tried to trick him by saving people, but that he’s seen his true face. “And I have seen yours,” Holtz replies. Connor’s face falls. In Angel’s apartment, he’s telling Cordy about the fight, that it was like Connor had never been away (you know, apart from the suddenly-a-teenager thing…), that they fought really well together. She tells him that she already knows because somehow she was able to go back into her vision to watch Angel and Connor fighting together, and it was beautiful.
Dodgy motel. Holtz tells Connor that he’s realised Connor’s true place is at Angel’s side, and that no one who’s seen them together could deny it. Connor doesn’t want to believe him. Holtz says that God may have given Connor to him, but now it’s time for Holtz to give him back, that Angel can help him find out who he really is. Outside, Fred and Gunn are pulling up. They’ve followed a trail with the magical Geiger counter from the hotel to the dodgy motel. Except they don’t know where to go now – door to door, underground, or what. Connor tells Holtz that he’s let himself be deceived by evil, and storms out of the motel room. Gunn spots him almost instantly, and Fred gets disheartened because it means they were following Connor’s trail the whole time and still have no idea if something else came out of the portal. But Gunn is staring up at the motel room, where Holtz has just appeared to close the door behind Connor.
Lor: He gives the most creepy door close ever. I kind of want to close all my doors this way, now, staring out to an unseen someone until the last possible second. It’ll be fun.
K: Please vlog it. Thank you.
Hyperion. Lorne pours himself a drink, then looks up to see Connor standing in the lobby. He says that he’ll take Connor up to see Angel, but Connor says coldly that he’s not going anywhere with a demon. Lorne stops dead, turns, and says “”I’ll tell you what, since you were raised in a hell dimension by a psychopath, and since that happens to be a topic that I know a little something about, we’ll just let that slide.” and I have Lorne’s-life-before-LA-sucked feels. Connor calls him a filthy demon, and Lorne replies that he should be calling him Uncle Filthy Demon since only a few weeks earlier, Lorne was changing his poopy nappies. Cordy appears, and gets in between them. She pulls Connor to one side and tells him that Lorne’s a good guy. Connor’s having none of it until she points out that she’s part demon too. And by choice. Connor pulls a knife and goes for her heart. Fade to black.
Sweeney: (1) Connor, your rudeness to Lorne will cost you tons of points. (2) The crazy murder face he’s wearing right before trying to kill Cordelia is cartoonish and slightly hilarious.
K: SO MUCH. After the Not Commercial Break, Cordy starts to glow just like she did in the episode with the demonic slugs. The glow moves up her arm and into Connor, and the blade of his knife vanishes. He looks surprised as the glow moves from Cordy to him.
Lor: LOL. SO MUCH FUN.
K: She tells him to let it go, that he doesn’t need it. The light fades, and she runs her hand over Connor’s face. He starts to cry and lays his head on her shoulder. She hugs him and tells him that everything’s going to be okay. He sits up after a few moments, and Cordy turns towards Angel, who’s standing on the balcony above.
Cut to the office. Angel watches from the doorway as Lorne hands Connor a cup of tea in the foyer, then turns to Cordy and asks if she’s okay. She says that she feels a little drained, but otherwise fine. Lorne walks in, and is all “Holy shit, Cordy. That’s quite some power you’ve got.” Angel asks what happened, and Lorne says his best guess is that Cordy somehow cleansed Connor’s soul. Cordy says quietly that it was Quor-toth – it had crept into every part of Connor. Angel kneels in front of her, and thanks her profusely. She smiles at him and says, “I know what it was like for him there, the darkness and the confusion. He thought it was where he belonged.”
Cut to Connor in the foyer. Angel walks up and asks how he’s doing. Connor looks sad and confused, and says that he should probably go. Angel sits down next to him, and suggests quietly that maybe he could stay at the hotel, that it could be his home. Connor, tears in his eyes, says that he doesn’t have a home. Angel tells him that he does, he just doesn’t remember it. And he’s home now, where he’s supposed to be. Connor says, “You speak as though you’re my father,” and Angel smiles a little. But Connor continues, saying that his father – Holtz – said the same thing, that they came back for a reason. Angel’s smile fades. “Did he?” he says ominously. Just then, Fred and Gunn burst through the door. They stop when they see Connor there.
Cut to the dodgy motel. There’s a knock on Holtz’s door, and he opens the door to find a shocked looking Justine on the other side. Back to the Hyperion. Angel tells Fred and Gunn – who’ve filled him in offscreen – to take Connor somewhere fun, somewhere to show him that this world is a good place, for a couple of hours and to not tell him where Angel’s gone. They head out, and Angel grabs his coat. Cordy tells him not to go, but he says that he has to. He’s not going to kill Holtz, he says, even though he deserves it. Cordy tells him that she has no fucks to give – Holtz should die for stealing Connor’s childhood, apparently – but that he shouldn’t lie to Connor about it. Angel leaves anyway.
Dodgy motel. Justine tells Holtz that he gave her a reason to live again after her sister’s death. She tells him that she’d have followed him into hell given the chance. “Thank God you didn’t,” he says. She asks how he survived in Quor-toth, and he replies that his hate kept him and Connor alive. He had to stay alive to pass on his hate-filled legacy, but that somewhere along the line it turned into love. Love, he says, is more powerful than hate, and he needs Justine’s help to do one more thing before he’s done with vengeance for good.
On a beach somewhere, Connor asks what the ocean is. When Fred and Gunn tell him, he says that Holtz told him about the ocean, but never said it was so empty. Fred replies that there’s an entire other world under the surface. She knows how it feels, she says, to get lost and that nothing seemed real when she got back. He says that he doesn’t remember being lost and walks towards the waves. Fred and Gunn back off a little and give him a moment. They discuss Angel going to see Holtz and wonder what he’s going to do. Connor turns to stare at them, because apparently being the child of two vampires means you get super-hearing. Womp womp. He runs off as Fred and Gunn OH SHIT. Fade to black.
Sweeney: This moment also played more cartoon-silly than OH SHIT. The closeups made me giggle.
K: Also a valid reaction.
After the Not Commercial Break, we’re at the Hyperion. Cordy turns off the lights in the office, then grabs her coat and heads into the foyer. A leather jacket clad figure appears on the stairs, and she rushes towards him, gushing about how thrilled she is that Angel followed her advice and didn’t go after Holtz. But when she gets to him, she sees that it’s not Angel. It’s Groo. He smiles sadly at her.
Dodgy motel. Holtz folds a piece of paper and slides it into an envelope. “I can’t recall. Would you require an invitation for a place like this?” he says. The camera pans across to show Angel standing in the door behind him.
Angel steps through the doorway, because LOL NOPE. He closes the door behind him, then grabs Holtz by the throat and slams him against a wall. “You stole my son!” he shouts. “I kept your son alive. You murdered mine,” Holtz replies. Angel stares at him for a second, then backs off and releases Holtz. He says that he was different then, and Holtz says that they both were. Angel apologises for what he did all those years ago. Holtz tells him that he thought taking Connor would give him a sense of justice, but it didn’t. Angel says that it wasn’t justice, it was vengeance. No, Holtz replies. Vengeance is what he gives him now – his son back. Because every time Angel looks at Connor, every time Connor calls him father, Angel will be reminded of killing Holtz’s son.
Holtz says that giving Connor up is the only way of ensuring that Connor keeps on loving him. He hands Angel the letter, telling him that it’s not sealed and he expects Angel will read it. Angel, after staring at Holtz for a moment, takes it and turns to go. “He won’t accept it at first. He’ll try to find me. He never will,” Holtz says as Angel heads out the door. The String Orchestra of Dramaticness fires up as we see Connor sprinting down a dark alleyway. On a beachside road somewhere, Angel stops his convertible (and I stop for a moment of “I really hope he dealt with the amniotic fluid in the backseat”) and opens the letter.
That throws us into a Holtz voiceover:
“Dearest Steven, this is a most difficult letter for me to write. You mean more to me than anything in this world or any other. But your best interests must come first, which is why by the time you receive this, I will be gone. I hope one day you will be able to forgive an old man’s weakness, which compels him to say these things in a letter. But to attempt a good-bye in your presence would be impossible for me. I fear I would never let you go. And I must let you go. I know that if I didn’t you would only end up hating me. And that I could not bear. Your destiny lies with Angel. I know that now. You will have a better life with him. I’m comforted by that certainty and the knowledge that with him you will discover your true purpose and come to know who it is you are meant to be. My only prayer is that I have prepared you well enough for whatever lies ahead. I trust that I have. Be brave. Lovingly, your father.”
As the voiceover progresses, we cut between shots of Connor running through traffic, Angel reading the letter (smiling slightly as he finishes it), and Holtz. He’s with Justine, who cries as she does what he made her promise to do – stabbing him twice in the neck with the screwdriver that he once used to puncture her hand, making it look like he was bitten by a vampire. They sink to the ground. Connor bursts into the motel room to find it empty. Outside, he hears Justine’s sobs and sprints over, finding her cradling Holtz’s body. He stares in horror at the puncture marks, then his face hardens. “Angelus,” he spits out. Homeboy better get himself a pair of cowboy boots, pronto. Fade to black.
Sweeney: I HATE THIS. Miscommunication plot on steroids. I hate hate hate this.
Lor: YES, THANK YOU. I had the exact same I HATE THIS FOREVER reaction as soon as it happened. After the first wave of feels, I conceded that it is more dubious plotting than miscommunication, but I still hate it. If Connor hates Angel because he’s traumatized and angsty and a teen, I was going to deal with that. But if he’s going to hate him for killing-Holtz-even-though-he-didn’t? That’s a sure fire way to just ensure I will hate Connor.
This episode, though? Another 5 on the Connor Hate Scale. Lost points for being mean to Lorne but gained a few back for a few facial expressions that made me LOL.
K: The miscommunication thing is epically stupid. As is the “please stab me to death so that my son-who’s-not-my-son can kill his father and finally get my revenge” plan. It’s perhaps not surprising that we finally get a lot of action this close to the end of the season. The entire, massive end game has finally come together, and this episode was pretty great as a result. I’m still not sold on Cordy’s magical glowy thing, I have to say. But this episode gave me Groo feels, Angel feels, Lorne feels, Connor feels, and Holtz feels, and you guys know how unusual it is for me to be on Team Feels. Regarding the last, I’m not saying I’m on board with Holtz’s batshit crazy plan for vengeance. I’m not. It’s fucking insane. But I can understand that seeing your kid be all buddy-buddy with his biological father would be like a knife to the gut.
Sweeney: A fair point. I still hate it for plot reasons, but a fair point.
K: Basically? For the first time in a long time, I’m excited about seeing the next episode.
Next time: Oooooh shit. Connor’s out for revenge. And Cordy realises something the rest of us realised forever ago. Find out all the details in Angel S03 E22 – Tomorrow.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
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